The Smackdown Lowdown 2/18/11 [600th Episode]

It is the 600th episode of Smackdown and my 600th blog post...well not really but it's a big night for good old Smackdown. The Rocks back in the WWE, we have a huge 12 man tag match and Dolph Ziggler will be crowned the new World Heavyweight Champion. Kelly Kelly's still fired right? Good, let's get going with the lowdown on Smackdown!

Edge [World Heavyweight Champion]/Randy Orton/John Morrison/R-Truth/Rey Mysterio/John Cena beat CM Punk/King Sheamus/Wade Barrett/Drew McIntyre/Kane/Dolph Zigler [New World Heavyweight Champion] in a 12-Man tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Josh Matthews informs us that Vickie will crown Dolph as the new champion later tonight as Edge makes his way to the ring. God it's always nice to hear Chimel's voice crack during Edge's intro. Like a WWE pastime. Oh they fired up the Barney Anus Cam to shoot Cena out there. Booker said it! King BOOKAH! Ziggler hit a counter T-Bone Suplex to Morrison who was on the top rope for a two as we go to commercial. Wow a bear hug from Kane, you know WWE's killing time when they let someone do that. As we go to commercial again Kane throws Rey out of the ring onto a waiting CM Punk, who had his knee out for the gut buster. Wow, I really like that heel teamwork. Booker T pointed out Barrett dropped Rey on his coccyx bone..for what reason I do not know. End match Edge and Ziggler are in. Edge hits the flapjack and Edgecution and calls for the Spear. Sheamus hits the Blarney Boot on Sheamus, Morrison takes out Sheamus with the Flying Chuck, Kane took out Morrison with the chokeslam, Cena took out Kane with the Attitude Adjustment, CM Punk killed Cena with the GTS, Orton takes out Punk with the RKO, McIntyre takes out Orton with the Future Shock, R-Truth takes out McIntyre with Paydirt, Barret takes out Truth with the Tilt-O-Whirl sideslam, Rey head-scissors Barret into the ropes and Ziggler joins him. Rey hits a double 619, and Edge spears Ziggler afterward for the 1-2-3.

After the match Vickie comes out and showed us what happened last week. Guerrero says that Edge will lose the title, and Ziggler will get it later tonight. Vickie says he's welcome to watch the coronation from his hotel room. Teddy and Vickie see eye to eye on one thing, and what Edge did is inexcusable and that he's fired.

WE get a recap of the "Dashing" Cody Rhodes tragedy, when Rey hit him in the face and in turn ruined his face. Grisham caught up with Cody, who has a face mask on. Cody says that his chances of success are gone because he's not on the Road to Wrestlemania like everyone else. He's not gonna bad mouth Rey, but he's here to tell us that next week on Smackdown he'll have a special message for us.

We have a flash back to the first Smackdown. Where Triple H and Shawn Micheal screw The Rock out of the WWF Title.

Layla/Maryse beat Eve Torres [Divas Champion]/Beth Phoenix in a tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
My lovely British buttercup! Awww she's so beautiful! McCool is on commentary due to her injury. End match, McCool hobbles to the apron to yell at Eve. Beth hits her in the foot. The ref goes to break them up. Layla and Maryse takes out Eve and Layla pins Eve to end this thing.

Here comes a reap of The Rock fucking epic promo on Raw. I'm pretty sure this is gonna be cut up and bleeping out all the great parts when he insulted John Cena and cursed. And holy fuck I got chills STILL just now when The Rock's music hit. THEY DIDN'T CUT IT! YESSSSS! AND I QUOTE, from The Rock, at 8:03CDT! God, I've seen it like 5 times and it's still awesome. Yes, more so than The Miz.

They show a flash back of the first sports oriented Smackdown, and event in the USA, after 9/11. I'm sure it was moving night. I got into the WWE at around Wrestlemania 20, so I missed it.

The Miz [WWE Champion] w/Alex Riley vs Kofi Kingston [Intercontinental Champion] in a singles match:
I like this pairing. They're both good in-ring, but not great and can put on a good show if they work hard. Alex Riley is staggering around the ring drunk as we go to commercial after Miz kicked Kofi off the second rope. End match Kofi hits a standing dropkick for a two. Miz shoulder blocks Kof inot the corner and misses his clothesline in the corner taking the p kick. Kofi follows up with the flying crossbody for a two. Miz then hits the VINTAGE (at 8:22CDT) Mizard of Oz for a long two as well. Miz goes to throw Kofi out, but he bounces off the ropes hits the leaping clothesline and then the Boom Drop. Kofi calls for the Trouble in Paradise as Del Rio comes out. Miz rolls up Kofi who counters the roll up at two into one of his own that gets a two. Kofi goes to yell at Del Rio, who hits him with his scarf. Miz takes advantage by hitting the Skull Crushing Finale for the pinfall.

Afterward the Miz and Riley celebrate and Del Rio climbs in the ring and taunts the crowd as we cut to Cole running down the top 10 running episodic television shows in history. It goes; (Starting at 10) My Three Sons, Bonanza, Ozzie and Harriet, Death Valley Days, Law and Order, The Simpsons, Lassie, WWE Smackdown, Gunsmoke, and WWE Raw. That's interesting to me. It's not to you? I don't give a fuck.

Did you know? A Beached whale runs faster than Matt Hardy.

YES! They show the flashback of the Smackdown after Wrestlemania 20 where Eddie Guerrero came out as still the WWE Champ! Thanks Booker and Cole for being great about talking about him!

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov [WWE Tag Team Champions] beat Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater in a tag team match for the WWE Tag Team Championships in a tag team match via DQ: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Team Cobra baby! I just can't get behind that ginger Slater tbh. End match Santino htis the Peoples Headbutt which Slater breaks up. Vlad gets rid of him and Santino hits The Cobra on Gabriel and Barrett hits the ring and the ref calls it off.

Afterward The Corre beats down Santino. The Big Show then storms into the ring and destroys everyone. Big Zeke is on the outside and Big Show calls him in. Zeke jumps to the apron and back down. As if to say Ezekiel will do it on his own time.

We get another flashback to the classic Booker T/Stone Cold brawl in the supermarket. God I watched that a couple weeks ago, it is beyond epic. "Price check on jackass" Hahaha.

Alright! It's coronation time! Vickie is about to crown you're NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler! Perfection! As Vickie gives the belt to Ziggler, the crowd starting chanting "We Want Edge!" OH MY! Teddy Long has returned from the grave! He said that they're both surprised to see him. Teddy Long says that Vickie was the first on the scene and had the most to gain. Vickie then cracks and squeals on Dolph doing it and it being his idea. Teddy Long says that they can clear the ring cause we're having a world title match now. He says Vickie has the power to fire and Teddy has the power to hire. And Edge is rehired and Dolph's opponent.

Edge beat Dolph Ziggler [World Heavyweight Champion] in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
It starts as soon as Smackdown comes back from commercial. End match, Dolph slaps on the sleeper, but Edge blocks it. Ziggler hits a big boot and goes for the Zig Zag but Edge hung onto the ropes. Ziggler whips Edge into the rope but the spear is what he got in return. 1-2-3.

BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET! Teddy comes out and fires Dolph Ziggler. WTF, thats cold, and racist I'm sure. Edge says excuse me and tells us that this has been one big party and Edge wants to sing. So as we close the 600th Smackdown, confetti and all, we're singing "Nanana nanana hey hey hey goodbye!"

Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
I liked the 600th Smackdown, even though it was promo/storyline furthering filled. The 12-man tag was a good way to start and not a bad match in itself. The diva's match was decent enough and all the Edge/Dolph/Vickie/Teddy interactions were done well. Also them showing the unedied The Rock promo from Monday was great. The Elimination Chamber PPV is this Sunday and you could tell they were somewhat pushing it as well. Good enough show, check it out and congrats on the milestone WWE!

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 2/11/11

Kelly Kelly is fried. Vickie is hot and out of control as Smackdown GM, Dolph Ziggler has finally stopped introducing himself to people (are we allowed to remember that?) and Edge has to defend his World title yet again. We're a little over a week out from the Elimination Chamber and Vince is alive in the WWE world again. I'm here to help make sense of all this by giving you the lowdown on Smackdown.

We start with a recap of last weeks handicap world title match. Kelly won with Edge's spear, gets fired and Vickie sets up Dolph Ziggler vs Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship with her highness as the special ref.

Yes! This is how we should start every WWE show! With the Excellence of Exquisiteness Albertooooooooooo Delllll Riiiiiiioooooooooooooo! But you....you already know that! Del Rio reminds us that Valentines Day is around the corner and just because he's a big bad wrestler, doesn't mean he doesn't have a soft side. What he loves is Destiny...and who does destiny apply to? Him, Alberto Del Rio. He then takes a cheap shot at Aaron Rodgers when Kobe Johnson decides to make a bad Jamaican err African err Bostonian promo and then goes to attack Del Rio with the Kendo Stick. Del Rio begs for mercy to no avail. Kofi wails on Del Rio and the Valentines set as we go to commercial. I wonder if they're gonna have a match at
Elimination Chamber *rolls eyes*

Alberto Del Rio beat "Mr. Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston in a singles match via submission: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We come back to intros to Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T the new Smackdown announce team. And the match begins. Kofi's promos blow, but he's decent in-ring. End match Kofi gets a flying cross body on Del rIo for a long two. Kofi follows up with the SOS, but Del Rios gets the bottom rope after a long time two. Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise , but Del Rio ducked out of the ring, and Kofi keeps at it. Del Rio hit Kofi's arm on the steel steps and throws him back in the ring. Finally Del Rio hits the corkscrew cross armbreaker and Kofi taps like a bitch.

Todd Grisham is in the back with the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. He asked if he thinks Vickie will call the match down the middle, and Edge says she will and they'll all go out to Sizzler afterwards. Edge goes onto say he doesn't know he's going to retain the title. I don't know either, I've cried over it every night since last Friday.

Did you know? Fat Jesus runs faster than Matt Hardy.

They recap Aaron Rodgers getting the World title during the Super Bowl and then getting the WWE spinner title on Letterman. Also the Green Bay Packers, led by Clay Matthews are in the crowd.

Justin Gabriel w/The Corre beat Vladimir Kozlof (World Tag Team Champion) w/Santino in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Team Cobra as the tag champs come to the ring. End match Santino hits The Cobra on Heath on the outside, and Gabriel kicks him. Big Vlad hits a head butt on Gabriel. Vlad then goes for a huge elbow drop but Gabriel gets his knees up. He then sets up and hits the 450 Splash for the pinfall. Afterward Wade throws Santino back in the ring and gives him The Wasteland for good measure. Ending with Ezekiel Jackson hitting The Book of Ezekiel of Vladimir.

Drew McIntyre beat "Mr. Titty Dance" Chris Masters in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Uh-oh Chris doesn't get an entrance? He's not winning. I still love Drew's theme, I listen to it everyday. Not really, but I do like it. Drew cuts a promo mid-match says he hold Edge responsible for getting Kelly Kelly fired and this match is for her. Why is Teddy Long reffing this match? End match, Masters missed a cross body. Drew goes for a backslide, Masters counters into his own, but Drew goes up and over keeps Masters arms locked into the Future Shock DDT for the 1-2-3.

Rey Mysterio vs Wade "The Botanist" Barrett in a singles match:
They show last month, when Mysterio unmercifully broke "Dashing" Cody Rhodes' face and inform us that his surgery. Grisham catches Rey in the back and asks him about Cody. He says he doesn't feel its his fault, and that WWE Superstar should suspect to get injured. He ends by sarcastically mocking Cody and yelling "CHAOO" for some random reason. Cue Wade Barrett to the ring, and he wants to talk. He says that he'll be the Corre's member in the Elimination Chamber and the one to go onto Wrestlemania. But The Corre are all still equal people can't forget that. They're Smackdown Revolution is moving along nicely, and you guessed it, Rey is next on their list. Show meh the commercials.

Nice, the 600th episode of Smackdown next week with a huge tag team match between everyone in the WWE. It'll be the longest match on WWE TV all two hours of the broadcast.

Cue Rey Mysterio to come out for the match. Yes, I think all The Corre works together as one. Wade is the brains, Ezekiel is the brawn, Gabriel is the technical, and Slater is the catering. As we go to commercial, Wade hits a back suplex with Rey on the Barrettcade. The puns flow here baby. Learn to love 'em. End match, Wade hits Rey with a Tilt-O-Whirl sdieslam for a long two. Wade stalks Rey, and sets up for the pump handle slam. Rey counters into a head scissors and goes for the 619. Instead he takes out Justin Gabriel and gets blidsided by Barrett. Barrett proceeded to hit the Wasteland for the 1-2-3.

Afterward the rest of the Corre hit the ring and are about to hit Rey with the 450 Splash when Big Show hits the ring and destroys everyone. But then Ezekiel Jackson regroups and flattens him. They wail on Big Show and as the grand finale Ezekiel suplexed the Big Show. JACKSON SUPLEXED THE BIG SHOW. Sorry for the caps, it had to be done. I love Ezekiel Jackson. Domination.

Kane beat JobberTG in a singles match via pinfall 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
JTG is in the ring, no entrance, and then Kane comes out? Yeah, he's fucked. I'm not doing any play by play, Kane's gonna win with his chokeslam. It's not worth my typing effort.So Imma take this time to plug my JTV Channel (http://www.justin.tv/crazyday2606). I play games on emulator and can stream movies, TV, or wrestling. Come follow me if you want. It's reeks of awesomeness. (Thanks for posting Edge and Christian)

Well I guess we're going to have Elimination Chamber promos every year. It's all good, I like them. Are we allowed to remember Eric Bischoff invented this?

Yes! Lay-Cool, Layla and Michelle McCool, are in the back bitching about Eve. God Layla is hot. They walk past Vickie who said they were the wrong choice for last week and to do something right she has to do it her self. (Thanks for posting cliche) Ziggler then comes up and yells at Layla. That man whore, it's ok I know it's storyline, I think. Layla walks off and they keep the camera on Michelle's cleavage as we hit commercial.

Did you know? Buddah runs faster than Matt Hardy.

Eve Torres (Divas Champion) beat Layla w/Michelle McCool in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Yes! My little British Buttercup is in action against my former favorite diva Eve Torres. I have a "dreams come true" boner right now. Nice armbar/Camel clutch combo by Layla. End match Eve hits a standing moonsault for a two. Eve catches Layla and hits her with a Mic Check. Eve goes for a moonsault on the top, McCool jumps on the apron and Layla knocks her to the canvas. Layla drags her to the middle for the pin and Eve no sells the fall and floats over into a cover of her own for the pinfall. This is one of the reasons Eve isn't my favorite anymore. I know she's booked to do it, but that just looked bad.

Edge (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Dolph Ziggler in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship with Special Guest Referee Vickie Guerrero: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Edge, the champ out first, big fight feel, even though they'll get about 10 minutes. Ziggler next, I like him, the future, but not just yet IMO. Finally Vickie Guerrero, the GM the Cougar, the special guest ref. EXCUSE ME! Vickie took the mic from Chimel and informs us that the ban on the Spear is still in effect. It's not Smackdown until Chimel's voice cracks during Edge's intro, and since Chimel never introduced anyone this hasn't been a Smackdown in my view. Haha imagine if I was really like that. End match, Edge hits the Edgecution but Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. Ziggler hits a running leg drop on Edge nad get a long two. They collide and both men are down. Vickie calls for the Spear on Edge and bounces off him like an arrow off armor. Vickie is on the outside injured. Edge spears Dolph and calls for a ref. No one come so Edge spears Dolph again and calls for a ref again. This time Clay Matthews comes out in a ref shirt, the place erupts, he runs to the ring and counts the pinfall. REJOICE! Chimels voice cracked when he announced Edge the winner, the Gods above are real! Afterward they celebrate in the ring as as Smackdown goes to black they show Vickie waving of the match. Did I actually like this... *drum roll* Yes.

Smackdown Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I really liked this week's Smackdown. There was that dud Kane/JTG match, but every other match was solid to good and had good spots in them. Del Rio was on point as usual, Tag was as good as it's gonna get, the counter at the end of the Masters/McIntyre match was awesome, Barrett/Mysterio had a good tv match then Big Zeke owning all, ending with a better than Raw diva match and the ending match I just said I liked between Edge/Ziggler. It was just a good Smackdown, enough said.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
http://www.facebook.com/fatjesus2606
http://www.twitter.com/_FatJesus_

I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 2/4/11

Alberto Dellllllllllllll Rioooooooooooo has won the 2011 WWE Royal Rumble! The Essence of Exquisiteness has achieved part one of his two part destiny plan. Part 2? Going on to beat the World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemaina 27. But will it be Edge? Or could it be perhaps Ziggler winning the title tonight in the mixed tag with Lay-Cool vs Edge and Kelly Kelly? Either way they still have to get through Elimination Chamber and tonight's edition of giving you the lowdown on Smackdown!

Booker T is here and he's the new Smackdown announcer! Now can you dig that suckas! Spin-a-Rooni at 7:03CDT! Out comes Vickie and Dolph Ziggler to the ring. Vickie tells us that there will be qualifying matches for the Smackdown Elimination Chambers. Then she tells us about the Main Event Handicap Match for the World Title. She calls the dumb blone to the ring, they gabble about clothes and makeup. Dolph starts yelling at Kelly for costing him is title at the Royal Rumble and tells her to vamoosh. Kelly slapped Dolph and pushed Vickie down. Lay-Cool runs down an corners Kelly. Then Edge runs down and punches McCool in the face...err that was Dolph. Kelly and Edge go up the ramp while Lay-Cool and Vickie are on the outside of the ring.

Did you that Flozell Adams runs faster than Matt Hardy?

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater beat Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlof w/Tamina vs in a tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Team Cobra FTW! Why is Teddy Long reffing this match? End match Gabriel throws Santino out,the Vlad returns the favor to Gabriel. Heath kicks Vlad in the back of the knee and follows up with a sit back neck-breaker. He tags in Gabriel who hits the 450 Splash for the pinfall. Solid but short match. I generally like everyone in this and if they got 7-9 minutes it could be alright.

Drew McIntyre beat Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #1: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
As we go to commercial Kofi gets dropped on his guy on the steel steps on the outside. It should be noted Booker T is a face commentator and is already calling Cole out on his bullshit. End match Kofi hits a counter DDT on Drew for a long two. They slug it out and Kofi has Drew reeling in the corer and follows up with the leaping clothesline in to the Boom Drop. He sets up for Trouble in Paradise and misses cause Drew gets to the ropes. Then outta nowhere Del Rio comes on the tron and winks at the distracted Kingston. Drew kicks Kofi in the knee and hits the Future Shock DDT for the pinfall and the spot in the Elimination Chamber.

The trench coat man in the rain walking into a dilapidated house. 2-21-11, the night after Elimination Chamber. It's either Undertaker or the rumored to be singed with the WWE, Sting.

Rey Mysterio vs "The All American American American American" Jack Swagger Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #2: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Swagger's back to push-ups! This is a momentous occasion. End match, Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Rey for a long two. He follows up with a leg lock grounding Rey. Rey tries to fight back but gets pinned for another two. Swagger hip-locks Rey across the ring and goes for Vader Bomb #2 and misses. Rey goes ot the second rope, he dives on Swagger who catches him, but counters into a DDT for a long two again. Swagger charges Rey and gets drop toe held into the ropes. But Swagger catches the 619 and slaps on the Ankle Lock. Rey counters out and sends Swagger into the corner, and kicks Swagger in the face ending with a roll-up for the win.

Edge and Kelly are in the back. Edge says he doesn't want his title reign to end like this. Kelly says that Edge doesn't have faith in her (Yes), and that him and McIntyre are the same (No) and storms off to use her tampons.

The Jobber Diva, Rosa, now with black hair, and the little green midget Hornswoggle are handing trinkets out when Del Rio is scheduled to have his Royal Rumble party. He tells us it was his destiny to win the Rumble, and go on to main event 'Mania. Del Rio says that the Pinata hanging about the ring is for Horny. Del Rio forgets the name of the where they're at and covers 'Swoggles face and spins him around. Hornswoggle missed about 30 times before Del Rio lowers it. Hornswoggle starts swinging and hit's Del Rio, who returns the favor by kicking Hornswoggle in the face. Kofi runs out to save the day and clotheslines over Del Rio. Kofi checks on Hornswoggle and gets attack from behind from Del Rio. He hits Kofi three or four times with the kindo stick and slaps on the cross armbreaker and the refs have to come out and break it up. Booker's pissed and Cole's loving it all.

Kane beat Chavo Guerrero in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #3 via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Chavo hangs up Kane, Chavo goes for Frog Splash, Chavo gets caught by Kane, Kane hit's massive chokeslam, Kane gets the 1-2-3, Kane is the third qualifier for Smackdown's Elimination Chamber.

They run The Chaperone trailer. Meeeehhhhhhhhhhh.

Wade Barrett w/Ezekiel Jackson/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater beat The Big Show in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #4 via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The rest of Corre surrounds the ring as the match starts. About two minutes in the ref gets taken out. Big Zeke plasters Show but he kicks out. Barrett hits a DDT to finish him off and take the last spot in Smackdown's Elimination Chamber. Big Show gets pissed afterward and starts throwing the Corre, until Ezekiel Jackson dominates and takes him out for good.

Edge/Kelly Kelly beat Dolph Ziggler/Layla/Michelle McCool in a 2-on-3 Handicap match for the World Heavyweight Championship: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Ohhh Layla is looks STUNNING as always as Team Ziglacool get ready to face Team Awesome Bimbo. Not working? Didn't think so. Kelly Kelly is defending the World title..holy God, she's the best stripper turned exhibitionist, turned terrible diva EVER! End match, Kelly tags in Edge, but the ref doesn't see it. All hell breaks loose, Kelly and Lay-Cool go at it in the ring while Edge and Ziggler are on the outside. Edge takes out Ziggler. And McCool accidentally kicks Layla. Kelly throws out McCool. Edge calls for the tag, but Kelly spears Layla for the pinfall.

After the match Vickie Guerrero gets in the ring and FIRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Kelly Kelly. I'm cheering at this point. Kelly immediately starts crying and walks up the ramp.It's truly an Oscar-worthy performance...ya know if The Oscars had a slut category. Vickie then turns to Edge and tells him he's going to lose his title next week in a match against Ziggler. And the special guest referee would be Vickie herself. Dolph sneaks in and hits the Zig-Zag as we go off the air.

Smackdown Rating: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
A notch below last week cause of match quality, but Booker T is back (and great on the mic), and we have both Elimination Chamber matches set for two weeks from Sunday. Kelly Kelly getting fired is another plus, but still the match quality was below average. Almost no promo time, but Alberto Del Rio kicking Hornswoggle bumped it up half a star. Pretty underwhelming night from a usually average to good show each week. Now can you dig this? SUCKA!

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
http://www.facebook.com/fatjesus2606
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 1/28/11

It's Smackdown time! 3 days before the Royal Rumble. Who will win, who will go onto...ah you know the rest. My pick is for whoever comes in at #34. If it's Cena, Del Rio, Punk, or Morrison I think I'll have a good shot. Anywho hopefully we'll have another good Divas match. Beth and Layla had a grand one last week, and that the Rated RKO reunion vs The Miz and Ziggler goes well. I'm sure other stuff's gonna happen, and that's why I'm giving you this (That's what she said), the lowdown on Smackdown!

We open with a recap of last week when The Corre arrive, then Teddy Long was found in his office, and taken away in an ambulance, The Corre telling Vickie that it wasn't them and finally The Corre helping Gabriel best the World Heavyweight champ Edge.

We open Smackdown with acting GM of Smackdown Vickie Guerrero.She wishes Teddy Long a speedy recovery and as she's moving on Randy Boreton interrupts her. Here comes some boring promo time. Orton tells Vickie to relax and he's here to show his appreciation for being invited to Smackdown. He goes on to say that he doesn't know her very well and flops at a joke, saying you'll have to excuse him for what he's gonna do tonight and Sunday. Orton says he likes Vickie's hair, homo. Oh look, another pun. *Yawns* WOW! They make leather hoodies now? Anywho Ziggler hits the ring and yells at Orton about talking to authority with disrespect. Ziggler says that Orton will show himself and Vickie respect. Ziggler says that on Sunday that when he wins the title Orton will respect him. Orton says what everyone says...you gotta earn it and blah blah, RKO outta nowhere as we go to commercial.

Lay-Cool (Layla/Michelle McCool) beat Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly in a Divas tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
My lovely, flawless British buttercup, Layla, and Michelle McCool get ambushed on the way down the ramp. It helps sneak attacks when you can throw your weight around, eh Kaitlyn. FYI, I hate her more than Kelly Kelly. That should tell you something. McCool gets the win in about a minute after a straight kick to the face. From Layla/Phoenix last week to this? SMH at WWE.

Drew McIntyre beat JTG in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Fuck me, I love Drew's entrance still. What is yours now is minnnnnnnnne, and I'll dream broken dreams, and make them come true *Guitar* Hey look! I spot JobberTG! And what is Kelly so mad for? Is it her time of the month? Cole owning Kelly Kelly, I am cheering! Oh there's a match going on. Noone cares. Oh comeon JTG, sell the moves you fucker. End match JTG goes for a backslide, Drew rolls through and keeps JTG's arms back right into the Future Shock DDT for the 1-2-3.

Afterward Kelly Kelly got in the ring, while Drew took the quick exit. I think Kelly Kelly's jealous of Drew's hair. Don't worry Drew, I'd wanna get out of the vicinity of Kelly Kelly too. I don't need herpes or gonorrhea or AIDS.

We get a recap of Rey hitting Cody in the face with his knee brace, breaking his nose. Cody's in the back with Grisham and they have an interview with his back to the camera. Saying his dreams of headlining Wrestlemania are over and that he's not "Dashing" anymore.

Who the fuck is this interviewing Edge? Edge hasn't forgot about DJ Gabriel and the One Band guy, haha. He says he's not concerned with The Corre, and his more concerted with his tag match later tonight.

Hey look! It's Alberto Del Rio! But we already know that, talking with creepy Tarver on his way to his Benz. Tarver asked to be his chauffeur, but since he's black, Del Rio declined.

Did you know that 1990s Jared Fogel runs faster than Matt Hardy?

Alberto Del Rio vs 39 Superstars in a Royal Rumble Exhibition match: NR
The Essence of Exquisiteness, Alberto Delllll Rioooooooooooooo! Tonight he's gonna prove it's his destiny to win the Royal Rumble. Seth Allen is the first of 38 other jobber Del Rio will beat. #2 is Mike Stevens, he's world renounced. #3 is Kane, wait he's not a jobber. This is blasphemy. #4 Kofi Kingston and he takes out Kane and Del Rio. #5 is Rey Mysterio. And here comes Vickie to make a tag match, *yawns* predictable. Wait where's the other 34? I've been gipped!

Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston beat Alberto Del Rio/Kane in a tag team match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
This is boring about 8 minutes in. This is boring *clap clap clap clapclap* It's the same rules dumbass Cole, there's just 10 more people. *rubs eyes* Going into commerical, Rey gets a two count on Kane. Rey jumps onto the apron and goes to jump back over and takes a big boot from Kane. End match, Del Rio hits a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for a two on Kingston. No one to tag for Del Rio. Kofi hits a flying crossbody for a long two count. Del Rio doesn't like that Kane broke it up. Kane slugs Del Rio and leaves. Del Rio is yelling at Kane. He gets 619'd into the Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall.

Recap of Raw where Edge got Zig Zagged, Orton hit the ring, A-Ry was drunk, Ziggler took an RKO, A-Ry took an RKO and Miz hit Orton with the briefcase and ran. Riveting.

The Big Show beat Heath Slater in singles match via pinfall: NR
I'm glad Big Show is happy in the WWE again. Too bad he always bores me. He explains when The Corre took him out, cause he's a target, and that's what happens to targets in pro wrestling. He goes on to say the Corre made him angry, and reminded him how it's gonna be in the Rumble. Hey here's The Corre and their horreble shirts. He calls out everyone in the Corre and he still thinks there's a leader. Heath jumps in and we have a match. End match Big Show butt splashes Slater in the corner, gives him the giant shoulder knockdown, and the chokeslam for the win.

Afterward Corre jumped the ring and Ezekiel Jackson owns Big Show again. The rest of Smackdow and Raw rush out and Zeke takes out everyone until they get on the same page. Hey Daniel Bryan's not even a Smackdown superstar. The Corre retreats as the Raw/Smackdown stars stand in the ring.

Here's the Royal Rumble by the numbers again. It's getting tiresome TBH. Still well put together. BTW Shawn Michaels has 41 eliminations, not 39.

Rated RKO [Edge (World Heavyweight Champion)/Randy Orton] beat The Miz (WWE Champion)/Dolph Ziggler w/Alex Riley in a tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Miz tells us about Harry S Trueman and asks us what it has to do with the Royal Rumble Sunday. Nothing. Randy Orton coming out and RKO'ing Ziggler means? Nothing. He could RKO everyone in the area and on Sunday it means absolutely nothing. The Miz says the only voice Orton's gonna hear Sunday is, "I'm the Miz, and I'm still WWE Champion."

Did you know pre-plastic surgery Star Jones runs faster than Matt Hardy?

Why doesn't Edge and Orton come out to the Rated RKO theme? What's up with that? (Thanks for posting Keenan Thompson)Going into commercial Orton has a clotheslinefest 2011 against The Miz ending with the snap powerslam. End match, Edge hits a flapjack on Ziggler, and sets up for the spear. A-Ry jumps on the apron, Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Ziggler for a two. Orton takes out Riley. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Edge hangs onto the ropes. While Ziggler's regrouping he takes the spear from Edge for the pinfall.

Afterward Vickie informs us that until further notice, the spear is banned. And if Edge uses it at the Royal Rumble he will be disqualified and lose the World title. Ziggler takes a spear on the apron and then another one the floor and a third on the floor for good measure.

Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Another solid week. I'm feeling lazy. Divas match? Worthless due to Kaitlyn/Kelly. Rey/Kofi v Del Rio/Kane? Boring start, alright finish. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes? Awesome. Big Show and Corre? Meh. Rated RKO v Miz/Ziggler? Soild tag team match. Also good promos all around tonight. Smackdown's been solid so far this yea, nothing terrible, nothing grand. I like Smackdown.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 1/21/11

I'm back in school, WWE is in full swing to the Royal Rumble, and Maria blocked me on Twitter. Huzzah! What will happen with Dolph Ziggler Vickie Guerrero and World Heavyweight Champion Edge. Will My British buttercup Layla make an appearance? Will Ezekiel Jackson own all? Will Kelly Kelly be a whore and try to act? All the questions and more will be answered when I give ya'll the lowdown on Smackdown!

We get a flashback to last week when Slater and Gabriel arrived and Big Zeke owned The Big Show. As Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel form their alliance on Smackdown.

We start out with them. Wade says that Big Show won't be here tonight and everyone's gonna introduce themselves. Where's Dolph Ziggler, am I allowed to remember that? Wade's up, and he calls them all The Core. Next up is Ezekiel Jackson, then Heath "The Token Ginger" Slater, and finally "Mr. Flamboyant" Justin Gabriel. Wade says that what Nexus did will pale in comparison to The Core. Oh snap! It's "Buckle Up" Teddy Long! He says he's the GM and he's in charge. Obviously. And if they cross Teddy, they'll have a problem and in turn The Core has a problem. Wade says that they have no problem with him and respect him. And that at the Royal Rumble they'll be representing Smackdown. Teddy says that he's not going to have any of the Nexus nonsense on Raw, here, and that last week was strike one. Ending by saying they can like Smackdown or leave it! Alberto Del Rio, The Excellence of Exquisiteness! But we already know that. He tells The Core that this is his show and that he's going to win the Rumble. Why? Cause it's his destiny.

Alberto Del Rio beat R-"Mr. Narcissistic"-Truth in a singles match via submission: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
"Whats up? Whats up? Whats up? Whats up? Enough already!" I concur fully Cole. Teddy's dead! Michael Tarver randomly around! And Truth sends Del Rio over the top as we cut to commercial break. Cut to the back for more random Tarverness on Teddy watch 2011. End match Truth hits a dropkick on Del Rio followed by a face first suplex for a long tow count. He went for it again but Del Rio counters and slaps the shit of Truth in the corner for a two. Truth powers Del Rio into the corner and hits a hip toss. Truth goes off the ropes and tripped up by Rodriguez. Del Rio jumps over the top rope and hangs Truth's shoulder up. He then slaps on the cross armbreaker as Truth taps out.

Look at all the random jobbers watching the EMTs load Teddy into the ambulance. It was almost as many as Henry threw out on Raw Monday.

We come back to Ziggles and Vickie walking into, now their, office. The Core is there and assures Vickie they did nothing to Teddy. She tells them that one of them will be facing Edge later tonight.

They run the nifty Royal Rumble by the Numbers promo. I love this thing.

Did you know? Winston Churchill runs faster than Matt Hardy.

"Dashing" Cody Rhodes vs "The Mini Squasher" Rey Mysterio set for later tonight.

Beth Phoenix beat Layla w/Michelle McCool in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Woo! Layla! My British Buttercup! *Swoons* Haha nice giant swing by Beth. And nice shoulder breaker from Layla and it gets a two. Wow impressive modified keylock by Layla and here comes power of Beth with the electric chair. End match Beth hits a sling shot suplex for a long two. She whips Layla in the corner. Who counters and goes for a fujuwara armbar that Beth counters into a backbreaker leading to the Glamslam. VERY good divas match. Best in a long while. I used "impressive" and "nice" a lot in that recap. It's cause women usually have terrible matches and don't know the same stuff as the men. Yes, I'm sexist. Sue me.

Rey Mysterio beat "Dashing" Cody Rhodes in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
I called Number 34 as the number that will win the Royal Rumble. End match Rey missed a shining Wizard but hits a dropkick for for a long two. Cody then gets drop toe held into the ropes, Rey hits the 619 and climbs to the top rope and hits a shitty splash for the win. This match sucked to be honest. Quit killing the young talent you dick Rey.

Teddy watch 2011! He was taken to a hospital. That's it? Well, OK. A-Ry interrupts Grisham cause he's drunk. Miz is there and says he can do what he wants. Whats the point? Gotta love logic.

NO! "Dashing" Cody Rhodes' nose is broken! THE HORROR!

Jack Swagger beat Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) 10-9 in The All American American Amateur Wrestling Challenge: NR
Yes! I like real wrestling amidst fake wrestling! Quick wait lock take down by Swagger. 2-0. 4-1 Swagger after the front facelock and waist lock. Another frontface lock takedown for Swagger making it 6-3. Kofi goes nowhere with the single leg takedown and gets taken down again 8-4. Swagger with a single leg takedown making it 10-5. Kofi gets a single leg and keeps on top of Swagger making it 9-10 at the end.

Afterward Kofi gets pushed down. Then Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise and a High Crossbody on Swagger. Too far. Maybe. Boring. Very.

They show what happened during the Cutting Edge last week before they cut to commercial. Edge booted Zigs. Vickie slaps Edge. Dolph saves Vickie and kills Edge. Dolph and Vickie makeout. Like a Superhero movie where the Villain wins.

Drew McIntyre beat Trent Baretta in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Look the jobber than managed to pull his way from obscurity last week! Still love Drew's theme. YES! Kelly Kelly's Oscar winning promo! Best of the year if not the decade! He's not a jobber anymore, the counter powerbomb is ineffective! End match Drew goes Kurt Angle and hits a hip toss from the top rope for the one 1-2-3.

Afterward Drew goes to shake Trent's hand, but Trent punches him in the face. Drew get's back int the ring and wails on him. Kelly Kelly comes out and stops Drew from hitting the Future Shock DDT on Trent. Wait Trent started it, Drew was defending himself. God they book Kelly Kelly like a dumb slut.

Did you know? 1990s Kristie Alley runs faster than Matt Hardy.

Hey look, the WWE Champion Miz, for absolutely no reason. If only to introduce the clips of him and a-Ry decimating Randy Orton on Raw. Edge, thank God, I thought it was gonna be Orton. He's sick of the Raw rejects coming to Smackdown and wasting our time. Miz says he has worse in store for Edge. Edge says Miz is #32 on his to do list and to go away. A-Ry stormed Edge and gets the alcohol speared right out of him. Edge and Miz have a Champion vs Champion homoerotic stare down before Miz backs of and we go to commercial.
Justin Gabriel w/Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson/Heath Slater beat Edge (World Heavyweight Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
First off, "Corre," what the fuck? Vickie comes out and introduces Dolph Ziggler as a special guest commentator for the match. Yes, I like this. Gabriel is probably the most well rounded in-ring out of the group. End match Gabriel hits a one man STO on Edge, and goes for a splash but Edge counters into a dropkick. Edge hits a one man flapjack on Gabriel and more down time. Edge blocks a kic and hits a Hangman on Gabriel and throws Gabriel back into the ring. Edge gets kicked while on the top rope and goes for a superplex, but Edge fights out and hits a flying crossbody for a long two. Edge is sick of this and calls for the Spear. He hits Barrett instead, and spears Heath on the apron, as Big Zeke kills him behind the refs back. Gabriel crawls over and picks up the scraps to get the pinfall.

Edge is surrounded and tried to fight out but gets careened by Jackson, the Paydirt from Slater (Thanks for posting Shelton Benjamin), The Wasteland from Barrett, ending with the 450 Splash from Gabriel. They leave and we close Smackdown with the Number 1 Contender standing over Edge in the ring.

Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Another solid week. A solid opening promo for the newly formed Corre and Gabriel/Edge had a nice match and the ending was ok. The announcers were good this show. Nothing crazy from Cole, except for when Miz was out there and were bearable. I also liked The All American American Amateur Challenge between Swagger and Kofi as well as the wayyyy better than normal Divas match between Beth and Layla. I'm not gonna lie, Kelly Kelly's character is a complete dumbass, and I'm sick of Rey fucking over the young talent. Cody's been having GREAT matches as of late, then Rey doesn't let him do anything and lose. Del Rio's talent is being wasted to on R-Truth. I'm sick of that guy too. All in all it was still a solid Smackdown like last week.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 1/14/11

He'sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss back! You've all been waiting waiting for him. I'm the wrestling tool you all wanna be. Blocked by Mickie James and Kelly Kelly on Twitter for calling them whores, sluts, bitches, etc. Hehe, they're two of my proudest moments. If you didn't know I've been watching wrestling since Wrestlemania 20ish and just started blogging Raw and Smackdown's a year ago. Edge is World Champ, my man Ziggles is No.1 Contender, Kofi "Identity Confused" Kingston is Intercontinental Champion, the leader of Team Cobra, Santino, and Vladimir Kozlof are the Penny Tag Champs and "Ms. Yawn" Natalya is Divas champion. I'm bored and pissed at everything in wrestling right now. So I'm warning you now. Anywho It's Friday, I have no life, so let's get to it. Time to give ya the lowdown on Smackdown.

We open with a back story on Wade Barrett and Nexus and how he's angered The Big Slow (is that still funny?) and if it'll be his first and last match on Smackdown.

As Smackdown starts, Matthews and Striker inform us that Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero will be on The Cutting Edge.

Cut to the ring where Chimel let's Rodriguez introduce the Excellence of Exquisiteness, Alberto Dellllll Rioooooooooooooo! Pimpin' Jaguar as well. His name is Alberto Del Rio, but we already know that. He insults us southern folk and says it's not his fault he's the only one of a kind wrestler on Smackdown. It's fate people, you can't beat fate. Oh God in heaven, R-Piece of Shit-Truth. At least I know we're in Birmingham now. Thanks, I guess. Truth starts with a pun, and then a racist slur against Del Rio. Teaching kids how to be a good guy. Good job Truth. Did Truth just say "buddy"? *Rubs eyes* I'm not going to paraphrase what he says, cause it's blather. OH OHHHHHHHHHH YOU"RE ONLY SMOKE AND MIRRORS TONIGHT! "Dashing" Cody Rhodes comes out and informs us Dashing is in and everything else is out. The undashing lifestyles shall not prevail in the Royal Rumble. Cody's is the face that will MAin Even Wrestlemania 27. Que Rey Mysterio, cause there has to be one veteran, and it might as well be on the that never puts anyone over on Smackdown....I mean *Eek!* It's Mysterio, I'm forced to like him! Goddamn right Cody, Rey is out of style. Truth says something stupid, as usual, and starts the brawl. Of course the black man starts it. (Hey Truth was racist first). Cue "Buckle Up" Teddy Long to inform us that we're going to have a tag team match (Shocker) and it's gonna happen next.

Rey "So 2006" Mysterio and "Mr. Narcissist" R-Truth beat "Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Alberto Del Rio in a tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
As we go to commercial, Rey hits a flying cross-body on Rhodes. They're both down and both men tag in their partners. Del Rio and Truth go at it. Truth hits a face-first suplex for a two count. Truth throws Del Rio and back drops Rhodes out. Rey then hits an asai moonsualt on them both on the outside. End match, Rhodes slaps a rear naked armbar choke on Truth. Truth fights out and hits the electric chair. Truth tags Rey who hits a seated senton from the top rope on Rhodes then a springboard cross-body for two. Rey whipped into the and by Rhodes, but gets his boot up. Rey victory rolls Rhodes, but it's countered into a cover, which is countered by Rey into another nearfall. Truth comes in and throws out Del Rio. Rhodes goes for the Alabama Slam, but Rey counters it and head scissors him into the ropes. Rey hits the 619 and botches the splash into Rhodes for the 1-2-3.

Here's a did you know? The Big Show runs faster than Matt Hardy. Matt Facts are fun, eh?

Bringing the Hood to You? WTF is this nonsense? JTG is still employed? Husky Harris is Rusty Harris? Dolph's giving Vickie all the power and it's killing JTG? Please then, keep doing it.

They recap Wade Barret bumrushing the ring last week and beating down the Big Show and "costing" him the No.1 Contender match. Hey look Grisham is in the back with yet another special guest that we see every week. It's Barret. Barrett says that on Raw he was Julius Cesar, and Big Show should see the attack as a sign of respect. He ends by saying he'll win tonight and everyone will hail Cesar. Little Cesar's? Pizza pizza! Love that stuff. $8 for a pizza and crazy bread with marinara sauce. There's my plug for the night. Even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the show.

Ezekiel Jackson package! I love this guy. Don't judge, I'm excited about something and Imma run with it.

Trent Baretta beat Drew McIntyre is a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Trent Baretta? He's still employed too? Oh wait, Drew McIntryre needs jobbers to decimated. Here's to you Kaval..I mean Low-Ki. Too soon? Still love Drewy Mac's theme too. Hey look! Teddy Long's reffing this match. Guess he needs overtime. The brawl quickly spills to the outside and Drew backhands the shit out of Baretta. He throws him back in the ring and wails on him. He hits a short-arm clothesline and a pretty dropkick on Baretta for a two. Drew slaps on an armbar to wear down the jobber in this pointless match. Drew goes for a release German and Baretta lands on his feet. and ends the flurry with a big boot on Drew for a two. Drew suplexed Baretta into the corner. Drew goes for a press slam, Baretta slips out the back into a rollup for three. Wait what, the jobber Baretta beat McIntyre. Neat little match though.

Trent Baretta gets attacked by Drew in the back and Kelly Kelly walks up and looks bad. Here comes acting. She thought he was a decent person, Drew is built to destroy, Kelly can't be around people who like beating people up. (Then why is she in wrestling?) My god this is like As The World Turns. I think the Bella Whores would have an easier time quitting being whores than Kelly Kelly does of being a good actor. That was terrible, can we combine Kelly Kelly's acting and the Bella's whoreness and make a WWE Porno?

The Big Show beat Wade Barrett via DQ in a singles match: NR
Big Show hasn't been relevant in years and announcers still wonder why people pick on him? He's big and if you beat the big guy Vince get's a boner for you. Like how I mixed reality and WWE into that explanation. End match Show goes for a chokeslam, Barrett get's out and Shows goes right back to it. Barrett gives Show a thumb to the eye and then hell breaks loose. Slater and Gabriel hit the ring and my man Ezekiel Jackson is on the apron. Big Show is still fighting and takes out Barrett, Slater and Gabriel. But Zeke hits thunderous clothesline, Slater hits Paydirt (thanks for posting Shelton Benjamin), and then Ezekiel Jackson man handles Big Show with a powerslam, ending with a 450 Splash by Gabriel. Nexus on Smackdown? Sexus on Raw. The Heel stables shall rule!

The announcers bust out their concerned voices and they go over what happened. As Lay-Cool come out.

Beth Phoenix beat Michelle McCool in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I love these two. Who cares of McCool boned 'Taker to the top? Cause Layla, my lovely British buttercup, is a part of it. Sorry Eve, you've been replaced. Haha Beth tried to get the dead crowd into it. Haha Striker with the cheap shot at the Jets. End match McCool chop blocks the leg, but gets rolled up for a two count. After another shot McCool gets a two count on Beth and continues to work over Beth's knee. Beth powers McCool out of the ring. She gets back in and get's Slingshot Suplexed by Beth for a long two. Beth goes for the Glamslam, McCool rolls though into a roll up and Beth counters the roll up into one of her own for the pinfall. Nice ending there.

We get the video package of Shawn Michaels, in my biased opinion the best wrestler ever, going into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. Great package, the people who put them together should get bonuses when they put one together like this. Getting a little teary eyed haha.

Vickie Guerrero and Teddy are arguing about the actions of last week. Ziggler says that their relationship is stronger than anything Edge can put in between them. More As the World Turns storylines I see. Blah blah blah.

Did you know? Big Daddy V and Mark Henry tied together still run faster than Matt Hardy?

Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) beat Jack Swagger in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Hey look everyone! Is the fizzled out, Identity Confused, Intercontinental Champion, Kobe Johnson...err Kofi Kingston. He's gonna cut a promo? Sheeeeeeet. Haha he said "hard and long". Yes, I'm as mature as a 5 year old Thank God, The All American American American American American American, Jack Swaggah! 2011 is the year of The American, Jacks and the top of the bar, and invites everyone to try and join him. Kofi like a 6 years old says shut up and fight. Hey look another black guy starting a fight. End match Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb on Kofi for a two. Swagger works over Kofis are and them stomps on him. AND I QUOTE @8:40CDT as Swagger fails at his second Swagger bomb. Swagger manhandles Kofi who slips out the back into a roll up for a long two. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Kofi gets out and Swagger ducks the Trouble in paradise and hits a belly to belly suplex for a two. Kofi botches his SOS and somehow still get's the pinfall for the win.

Oh baby, it's not Smackdown until Chimel's voice cracks during Edge's introduction. He is our World Heavyweight Champion. He welcomes us to the Cutting Edge. He tells us how no one thought he;d come out of his Last Man Standing match on one piece. And that he goes from one monster last week to Vickie Guerrero this week. *Rim shot* Cue Ziggles and Vickie to hit the ring. Are we allowed to remember Vickie and Edge were married? Edge wants to keeps controversy out of this, and Vickie says that there wasn't even any controversy last week. She was young and naive when she was with Edge (I guess we're allowed to remember), haha that got a chuckle out of me. Dolph says that Vickie resuscitated Edge's career and at the Royal Rumble he's gonna pull the plug. Vintage Alicia Fox as the wedding planner! How'd that turn out for ya? Hey look, the fat whore that can't wrestle Kaitlyn. Ziggler gets taken out by Edge after a fight, Vickie slaps Edge twice. Edge is contemplating a spear Vickie. Ziggler takes him out from behind and slings him into the steel barricade and throws Edge neck first into the steel steps. We close Smackdown with Ziggler and Guerrero making out over Edge.

Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: NR
Solid Smackdown. The tag match to start was alright, Kelly Kelly "acting" was golden. Ezekiel Jackson is back. A good, by WWE standards, divas match and Kofi/Swagger can do better. Wanna see how Nexus Version Smackdown pans out and I'm loving a young guy in Dolph Ziggler getting the chance to shine in the upper card. I liked Smackdown tonight and have since 2009, still the best WWE show. Sorry if there's typos...I don't really care, you're not my English teacher and I just plain ignore bitching.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples

Nicki Minaj- Pink Friday [A Fat Jesus Album Review]

3.5? He's gone mad! Nicki? The Barbie bitch? Young Money? A worthwhile pop-rap album?

All these questions and more....ahh fuck it. Nicki is not only crazy but spastic, and I'm just talking about her flow. Like everyone on Young Money, we start out with "I'm the Best" about, surprise, how she's the best. How's it possible? Does everyone there get a trophy like in little leagues? I'm going off track again.* Jump right into "Romans Revenge", arguably the best song on the album where Nicki and Eminem spaz the fuck out as their alter egos Slim Shady and Flight Attendant Barb-errr Roman Zolanski. Dungeons and Dragons, peeing on hookers with big fake tits all wrapped up in crazy raps by the two over a melodic old school NES or SNES beat. Mad props. Did I mention Lil Kim thinks it's a diss track towards her? Who's Lil Kim? Exactly. Next noteworthy track is one of her singles, "Right Thru Me", she keeps it mild and shows she actually can sing, that's a plus. "Fly" featuring Rihanna is another good one with good verses by Nicki and a well sung chorus. "Moment 4 Life" has a nice beat and a crazy fast flow from Nicki, and I would've liked it until, DUN DUN DUN, Drake came on. Not that he didn't have a good verse but dick riding Lil Wanye after you've already put out your first solo album is unnecessary at this point IMO. I'm ranting again, I digress. "Check It Out" with will.i.am is the best track...haha God no, this is my least favorite and probably worst track. And I liked "The E.N.D." *Someone boos* I know, I hang my head in shame. Then we hit "Blazin" featuring Kanye West. The guy who just revolutionized a hip-hop album's style and production with album of the year candidate "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". I gave it 5/5 and it's my album of the year as an FYI. Gotta love cheap plugs. *Smiles into the camera, grins, and holds two thumbs up* And boy "Blazin" is on point. Nicki's on fire (no pun intended) and Kanye goes off with a long crazy ass verse much like Nicki did on Kanye's "Monster". Probably my favorite track and I'd say best track on the album. There's a mediocre track before "Dear Old Nicki". It's the last track I'm touching on, soulful lyrics, good sounding voice where Nicki writes a letter to her old self. There's a couple more mediocre songs to close out, not horrible, but forgetful.

*Now unless I single a track out it's average....I'm not saying bad, AVERAGE.

Back to the questions from the beginning. *Crickets chirp* Fine fine, I'll move on. Overall I liked the album. Hadn't given much, if any listens to her before this. "Monster", "Roman's Revenge", and "Right Thru Me" got me a little hopeful that this wouldn't be a complete train wreck and it wasn't. I like 6 and a half ("Moment 4 Life" is good BUT THAT DRAKE VERSE) out of 13 songs. While all the other songs are mostly filler, they provided good back ground beats for me Twittering or Facebooking or whatever I was doing and hour ago while listening. Production was good, the beats were good for the most part. Love Swizz Beatz beat on "Roman's Revenge" and wanna give props to production on "Fly", "Blazin", and "Dear Old Nicki". Rapping was good, crazy good, but and other times sloppy and not fun to listen to. Production on a lot of the songs were mediocre, so if they had good verses or choruses by Nicki, and the beats were meh, I probably didn't care for it. The bad guests were obviously wil.i.am., and to an extent Drake (THAT VERSE ARGHHH). I'm surprised there were only 6 guests, compared to Drake's 50 on "Thank Me Later" (Cheap shot) and the normal, I'd say 10 or so, on a normal rap album. And only two of them rapping so it was Nickie the whole way through, and I'm surprised Lil Wanye didn't make a track as well. BUT Nicki on point is a great listen. As mentioned in the go over, Eminem, Kanye, and Rihanna shine as the best features. Can I hate on Drake for that verse a little more? ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS LEAVE ONE LINE OUT! Overall a fun pop-rap listen and surprisingly one of my favorites of the year.

Best Track(s):
Roman's Revenge
Blazin

Worst Track:
Check It Out

Best line, Kanye West from "Blazin":
Ugh, yea, ugh this is the moment grab your Kodak
While I’m flying with a flow that is the greatest throwback since that Nolan Ryan
And the days been crazy and the nights even wilder
And the lights even brighter, baby stand next to my fire
Only higher is Messiah or notes from Mariah
‘rari six hundred horses, that’s my chariot of fire?
Where we flying, they can’t find us all them broke days behind us
I just took your whole life and redesigned it
I think I’m Marc Jacobs, I think I’m Lagerfeld
I think without makeup, you still bad as hell
Imma grab your waist then, imma grab your face and
Then imma taste it, then imma blaze it
Hello all my bad girls, this just in Yeezy hurt the beat
Like he fucked her best friend and she let him back in
And he just did it again, He crazy, he blazin, he off the deep end
I’m blazin’ I’m flagrant, Im crazy I’m saying
Too much for the World so they Abbreviate him
His past is a phase, his stats is amaze
Her dress is just per’ uhh
Prada coloured babes
It obvi’ we the ishh and I’m rolling with my bricks
So real you so trill. baby everything legit
How you feel, they say we crazed cause our styles so diff’
They be jail when we in the mag looking magnif’
As if I aint used Magnums on your favorite bad bitch
Fuck these background niggas I was tryna adlib
Add this, we blazin’
Nicki what you think, I got two White Russians but we also need some drinks
Ah hahahaha

Fat Jesus Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars