RAW is war...or not anymore. But it is one night after a solid money in the Bank PPV, Kane is the new World Champ on Smackdown, The Miz is Raw's Mr. Money in the Bank, and Sheamus is still WWE Champ! all in all it was a good PPV, and judging from Henry/Barret later tonight this could be the best Raw ever!
Randy Orton beat Edge/Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat Match to be No.1 Contender for the WWE Championship: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Can I just say..YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Imma bask in the glory of this awesomeness. Viper @8:06 CDT! Nice double DDT by Orton, that's a cool spot. Vintage @8:10 CDT! I should stop now and give Raw a 10/10 for Cole saying "Vintage" in the first ten minutes. We get ASK HIM from Jericho with Orton in a chin lock. Orton fights up and hits a powerslam for a long to. Orton then works on Edge and hits his inverted backbreaker on Edge for another two. Orton goes for the DDT on Jericho and he counters into the walls. Edge breaks it up after a long time and hits Edgecution for a long two. Edge sets up for the spear, but Y2J ducks it and turns it into Wall, but Edge gets to the ropes and sends Jericho outside. Orton goes for the RKO but gets the Edge-O-Matic for a two. Edge goes for a spear but Y2J intercepts it. Orton rolls up Y2J for a two, then Edge rolls up Orton for a two. Everyone hits a clothesline on each other, and Edge gets thrown out of the ring. Orton goes for the RKO on Jericho, but it countered and Jericho goes for a Lionsault but Orton moves. Jericho landed on his feet, but gets RKO'd then Edge bum rushes in and gets RKO'd as he does. Orton covers Edge, gets the 1-2-3 and becomes No.1 contender for Sheamus' title at Summerfest!
Edge is going berserk in the ring calling for Chris Jercho cause he wants to end the "thing" they've had going for the last 11 years. And they both claim that their the reason why Nexus has gone this far. Que Nexus and they circled Edge and said they could take him out for good, before they took him out. They then turn on Jericho as well. I wonder if all the heels are still on their side.
Barret has an interview where he yells "Bloody" and makes Josh "Goofy Smile" Matthews piss himself and John Cena is sick of The Nexus beating everyone and says no one can beat them, and that later in the ring he wants them to talk with him. He closes by saying "If you can't beat 'em."
Eve Torres beat Maryse in a singles match to be No.1 Contender for the WWE Divas Championship: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Aww my sweet summer's Eve, and I'm sad her push may be over. But it's not! An inept ref lets Eve become the No.1 Contender for the Divas title! Yeah!
Ted gets in and trys to get him to reverse the call to no avail. He should've paid him off. Morrison came out to the ring, shirtless for no reason, and took out Teddy as they go to commercial.
Ah, the good old Pale White Yonder, our WWE Champion Seamus wants to talk and we all shall listen. He says he's been Cena three times now, and it's dominance, and that he looked Barret in the eye and kissed him on the mouth.....I mean made a truce with Nexus. The Miz comes out and says he can cash it in against him or Orton or whoever, wherever and wherever he wants. "And I quote" @9:04 CDT! The GM said Miz needs to stay close to ringside cause Bourne has a match with Sheamus now.
Sheamus (WWE Champion) vs Evan Bourne in a singles match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Vintage someone not being ready for a match. End match Sheamus works on Evan in the corner and wraps him around the ring-post. Sheamus then takes Evan to the middle of the ring and rags on him, but Bourne fights up. Evan throws a kick but then gets hit with a massive powerslam only giving Sheamus a two. Sheamus goes back to the potential submission but Evan fights up again. He get out and kicks Sheamus in the hamstrings, but gets thrown in the corner and Bourne starts throwing kicks and knees. Evan then rolls him up for a long two. Sheamus is in position for for the Shooting Star Press but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. He kicks Evan as he was getting in the ring and gave him the Blarney Boot @9:17 CDT for the 1-2-3!
Afterward Miz takes Sheamus out and gives him the Skull Crushing Finale on the briefcase and wants to cash it in, but Sheamus never got to his feet. While Sheamus was laid out R-Truth came out and Miz bailed, and since the match never started he still has Money in the Bank.
Miz and "Goofy Smile" is in the back and he's pissed that R-Truth came out and ruined his title shot, but that he'll have till July 17, 2011 to cash in.
Sheamus is walking in the back and decides to yell and random jobber Divas, before he runs into Orton saying at Summerfest Sheamus will have a bullzeye for his RKO to find. But not like an arrow or bullet. Not like those.
Sheamus/Vladimir Kozlof beat William Regal/Zack Ryder in a a tag team match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
All that needs to be said it that Santino gets the win off Zack after The People Headbutt, and yes I'm so calling ti that from now on.
Wade "The Botanist" Barret beat Mark Henry in singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The Kool-Aid is cherry flavored tonight, DON'T SPILL IT! End match Herny hits a powerslam on Wade for a looonng two. Henry drags him to the side and goes to the second rope. Nexus walks up onto the stage and Henry got distracted. Barret kicked him the face and then hit The Planter Box (it was impressive to me) for the 1-2-3.
Nexus is in the ring and Tarver tells Cena that resistance is futile. Cena comes out and says he's only had two (he's had three) WWE Championship matches that Nexus has cost him. Barret says he's not interested in have a truce with Cena but he wants him to join them. Cena, surprisingly, says no. Barret says that now, he can either leave with his tail between his legs, or get the worst beating yet. But wait! Cena has formed the Justice Friend, that consists of himself, Edge, John Morrison, R-Truth, The Great Kahli, Chris Jericho, and Bret Hart. Amazing the Punjabi Jobber, a 50+ year old Legend, and the Injured R-Truth...The Super Friends will beat The Legion of Doom for the sole fact that Cena and Hart are on the team. Once again WWE has stabbed me in the gut, twisted the knife and raised the blade in my gut.
Raw Rating: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I didn't write a lot cause I spent for time cracking jokes and trying to tell my friend who thinks all heels are bad and all faces are great, that all of it's fake, and WWE like wrestlers and that if they go heel or face or do whatever they do is ok'd by WWE and is actually in the best interests of everyone or for storyline. He's been a fan for about as long as me -_-. Anywho, the triple threat to start the show was great, and then it was all a meh blur until the end which showed promise until Cena formed the Super Friends to counteract Barrets Legion of Doom. That's right, someone spilt the Kool Aid. WHAT IS THEIR MALFUNCTION?!?!
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples
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