The Smackdown Lowdown 2/25/11 [Tweet Edition]

This is going to be a little different from my usual recap style. Ya see this week I was up at the hospital with my dad. He just got a defibrillator put in and he's coming home tomorrow and I didn't feel like typing a lot, so I decided yo just compile all my Tweets about Smackdown (Tonight's haha) and list 'em here. This is a new thing I may do more often if I'm not feeling up for a lot of writing. So without further adieu, here the lowdown on Smackdown..Tweet style!

Is WWE Smackdown!

FML stop putting Kelly Kelly in matches...she's a terrible "whore" that can't wrestle.

Rey v Kane? This is gonna suck...

Really they're getting a commercial break? SMH. Hopefully "Dashing" cuts a promo after the match

"Do you have a problem with women being in charge, Josh?" -Cole to Matthews

Least they're working hard, I can respect that.

Really? I know I don't like Rey at all anymore, but that was Cena like improbability...

DUSTY RHODES! MARK THE FUCK OUT!

I'll give this show a 10/10 of Rey gets the Bionic Elbow

"Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes cutting a promo together..THIS is why I watch wrestling!

Everybody on Raw and Smackdown needs to take notes, THIS is how you cut a promo. Dream's still got it!

YES! SWERVE! DUSTY IS HEEL! Hahaha.

Great promo by Dusty/Cody and great job on selling the beat down by Rey. I really really liked that segment

Did you know? That any sports stadium runs faster then Matt Hardy?

Can you believe it? Rey Mysterio got trending worldwide cause of Dusty Rhodes?

Hey look a Rosa sighting! :O Layla *drools* My lovely British buttercup!

Hey, why is Teddy Long reffing this divas match?

Michelle McCool looks like Ke$ha tonight...that's not flawless

Jack Swagger sighting! Woo! No entrance? Bet he loses.

Yes! Swagger wins! Push the man that can actually put on a good match!

Oh God are we gonna get these Rock/Cena promos every Smackdown ...least I don't watch every show, so I only see 'em twice HAHA

Just think, we could be having an actual wrestling match right now HAHA

And Jack Swagger trending worldwide is the tits too.

Technically for 7 years he was in movies, so we actually could see him...

Where's Big Zeke? I need another mark out moment tonight!

No way Big Show loses, his DVD came out this week.

Really? Big Show winning by count-out..really? REALLY? *Rubs eyes*

OMG...noooooo not the 5 hours of walking to the ring and 5 more hours of staring that happened Monday. ARGHH.

Fuck this Miss USA bitch being a part of Tough Enough...least Trish is back baby!

Oh look an Undertaker promo right after an Undertaker promo.

WOW! Kelly Kelly is looking extra whorish tonight! (At which point I was told I've been living under a rock cause I don't think she's pretty)

"Ya know Josh, just because all you have in your life is two dogs, doesn't mean you know what Vickie's going through" -Cole

It's ok Smackdown announce team. Just like Vickie, Kelly Kelly isn't a trained wrestler either.

Vickie's fired? Really? Really? *Rubs eyes*

Teddy Long is the one who should be fired, I mean abusing his powers as GM AND a ref. It's awful

Wow, look at all this camera time Scott Armstrong is getting.

ROFL AT COLE! (When he was consoling Vickie)

DEL RIOOOOOOOOOO! Yes! The Excellence of Exquisiteness! Great way to end the show!

The Alberto Del Rio wink at 8:58CDT!

Good show. Alright matches, good promos, talking and segments by everyone. Well done WWE Smackdown, well done.

Smackdown Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
My last Tweet up there pretty much says it all. It was a good post Elimination Chamber, going into Wrestlemania show. The promos from Vickie, Teddy, Dusty and "Dashing" Cody Rhodes. If Rey actually puts Cody over, I'll gain some respect for him. I dislike Rosa and Kelly Kelly and I REALLY hate the fact they're pushing Kelly so much. Why they have to fire Tiffa-err Taryn Terrel? She had Trish-equse looks and was good in ring for a newer diva *sigh* The Corre and Big Show is boring to me. And ending with Alberto Del Rio ambushing Edge as he got Vickie fried was good. But where was Christian? Haha. I thought we were gonna have this epic triple threat for the World Heavyweight title? I can dream. Anywho, good show, in my humble opinion and catch it if you can. Oh yeah! Did I mention Layla was looking damn good...well she was.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown..Tweet edition. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 2/18/11 [600th Episode]

It is the 600th episode of Smackdown and my 600th blog post...well not really but it's a big night for good old Smackdown. The Rocks back in the WWE, we have a huge 12 man tag match and Dolph Ziggler will be crowned the new World Heavyweight Champion. Kelly Kelly's still fired right? Good, let's get going with the lowdown on Smackdown!

Edge [World Heavyweight Champion]/Randy Orton/John Morrison/R-Truth/Rey Mysterio/John Cena beat CM Punk/King Sheamus/Wade Barrett/Drew McIntyre/Kane/Dolph Zigler [New World Heavyweight Champion] in a 12-Man tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Josh Matthews informs us that Vickie will crown Dolph as the new champion later tonight as Edge makes his way to the ring. God it's always nice to hear Chimel's voice crack during Edge's intro. Like a WWE pastime. Oh they fired up the Barney Anus Cam to shoot Cena out there. Booker said it! King BOOKAH! Ziggler hit a counter T-Bone Suplex to Morrison who was on the top rope for a two as we go to commercial. Wow a bear hug from Kane, you know WWE's killing time when they let someone do that. As we go to commercial again Kane throws Rey out of the ring onto a waiting CM Punk, who had his knee out for the gut buster. Wow, I really like that heel teamwork. Booker T pointed out Barrett dropped Rey on his coccyx bone..for what reason I do not know. End match Edge and Ziggler are in. Edge hits the flapjack and Edgecution and calls for the Spear. Sheamus hits the Blarney Boot on Sheamus, Morrison takes out Sheamus with the Flying Chuck, Kane took out Morrison with the chokeslam, Cena took out Kane with the Attitude Adjustment, CM Punk killed Cena with the GTS, Orton takes out Punk with the RKO, McIntyre takes out Orton with the Future Shock, R-Truth takes out McIntyre with Paydirt, Barret takes out Truth with the Tilt-O-Whirl sideslam, Rey head-scissors Barret into the ropes and Ziggler joins him. Rey hits a double 619, and Edge spears Ziggler afterward for the 1-2-3.

After the match Vickie comes out and showed us what happened last week. Guerrero says that Edge will lose the title, and Ziggler will get it later tonight. Vickie says he's welcome to watch the coronation from his hotel room. Teddy and Vickie see eye to eye on one thing, and what Edge did is inexcusable and that he's fired.

WE get a recap of the "Dashing" Cody Rhodes tragedy, when Rey hit him in the face and in turn ruined his face. Grisham caught up with Cody, who has a face mask on. Cody says that his chances of success are gone because he's not on the Road to Wrestlemania like everyone else. He's not gonna bad mouth Rey, but he's here to tell us that next week on Smackdown he'll have a special message for us.

We have a flash back to the first Smackdown. Where Triple H and Shawn Micheal screw The Rock out of the WWF Title.

Layla/Maryse beat Eve Torres [Divas Champion]/Beth Phoenix in a tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
My lovely British buttercup! Awww she's so beautiful! McCool is on commentary due to her injury. End match, McCool hobbles to the apron to yell at Eve. Beth hits her in the foot. The ref goes to break them up. Layla and Maryse takes out Eve and Layla pins Eve to end this thing.

Here comes a reap of The Rock fucking epic promo on Raw. I'm pretty sure this is gonna be cut up and bleeping out all the great parts when he insulted John Cena and cursed. And holy fuck I got chills STILL just now when The Rock's music hit. THEY DIDN'T CUT IT! YESSSSS! AND I QUOTE, from The Rock, at 8:03CDT! God, I've seen it like 5 times and it's still awesome. Yes, more so than The Miz.

They show a flash back of the first sports oriented Smackdown, and event in the USA, after 9/11. I'm sure it was moving night. I got into the WWE at around Wrestlemania 20, so I missed it.

The Miz [WWE Champion] w/Alex Riley vs Kofi Kingston [Intercontinental Champion] in a singles match:
I like this pairing. They're both good in-ring, but not great and can put on a good show if they work hard. Alex Riley is staggering around the ring drunk as we go to commercial after Miz kicked Kofi off the second rope. End match Kofi hits a standing dropkick for a two. Miz shoulder blocks Kof inot the corner and misses his clothesline in the corner taking the p kick. Kofi follows up with the flying crossbody for a two. Miz then hits the VINTAGE (at 8:22CDT) Mizard of Oz for a long two as well. Miz goes to throw Kofi out, but he bounces off the ropes hits the leaping clothesline and then the Boom Drop. Kofi calls for the Trouble in Paradise as Del Rio comes out. Miz rolls up Kofi who counters the roll up at two into one of his own that gets a two. Kofi goes to yell at Del Rio, who hits him with his scarf. Miz takes advantage by hitting the Skull Crushing Finale for the pinfall.

Afterward the Miz and Riley celebrate and Del Rio climbs in the ring and taunts the crowd as we cut to Cole running down the top 10 running episodic television shows in history. It goes; (Starting at 10) My Three Sons, Bonanza, Ozzie and Harriet, Death Valley Days, Law and Order, The Simpsons, Lassie, WWE Smackdown, Gunsmoke, and WWE Raw. That's interesting to me. It's not to you? I don't give a fuck.

Did you know? A Beached whale runs faster than Matt Hardy.

YES! They show the flashback of the Smackdown after Wrestlemania 20 where Eddie Guerrero came out as still the WWE Champ! Thanks Booker and Cole for being great about talking about him!

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov [WWE Tag Team Champions] beat Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater in a tag team match for the WWE Tag Team Championships in a tag team match via DQ: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Team Cobra baby! I just can't get behind that ginger Slater tbh. End match Santino htis the Peoples Headbutt which Slater breaks up. Vlad gets rid of him and Santino hits The Cobra on Gabriel and Barrett hits the ring and the ref calls it off.

Afterward The Corre beats down Santino. The Big Show then storms into the ring and destroys everyone. Big Zeke is on the outside and Big Show calls him in. Zeke jumps to the apron and back down. As if to say Ezekiel will do it on his own time.

We get another flashback to the classic Booker T/Stone Cold brawl in the supermarket. God I watched that a couple weeks ago, it is beyond epic. "Price check on jackass" Hahaha.

Alright! It's coronation time! Vickie is about to crown you're NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler! Perfection! As Vickie gives the belt to Ziggler, the crowd starting chanting "We Want Edge!" OH MY! Teddy Long has returned from the grave! He said that they're both surprised to see him. Teddy Long says that Vickie was the first on the scene and had the most to gain. Vickie then cracks and squeals on Dolph doing it and it being his idea. Teddy Long says that they can clear the ring cause we're having a world title match now. He says Vickie has the power to fire and Teddy has the power to hire. And Edge is rehired and Dolph's opponent.

Edge beat Dolph Ziggler [World Heavyweight Champion] in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
It starts as soon as Smackdown comes back from commercial. End match, Dolph slaps on the sleeper, but Edge blocks it. Ziggler hits a big boot and goes for the Zig Zag but Edge hung onto the ropes. Ziggler whips Edge into the rope but the spear is what he got in return. 1-2-3.

BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET! Teddy comes out and fires Dolph Ziggler. WTF, thats cold, and racist I'm sure. Edge says excuse me and tells us that this has been one big party and Edge wants to sing. So as we close the 600th Smackdown, confetti and all, we're singing "Nanana nanana hey hey hey goodbye!"

Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
I liked the 600th Smackdown, even though it was promo/storyline furthering filled. The 12-man tag was a good way to start and not a bad match in itself. The diva's match was decent enough and all the Edge/Dolph/Vickie/Teddy interactions were done well. Also them showing the unedied The Rock promo from Monday was great. The Elimination Chamber PPV is this Sunday and you could tell they were somewhat pushing it as well. Good enough show, check it out and congrats on the milestone WWE!

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 2/11/11

Kelly Kelly is fried. Vickie is hot and out of control as Smackdown GM, Dolph Ziggler has finally stopped introducing himself to people (are we allowed to remember that?) and Edge has to defend his World title yet again. We're a little over a week out from the Elimination Chamber and Vince is alive in the WWE world again. I'm here to help make sense of all this by giving you the lowdown on Smackdown.

We start with a recap of last weeks handicap world title match. Kelly won with Edge's spear, gets fired and Vickie sets up Dolph Ziggler vs Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship with her highness as the special ref.

Yes! This is how we should start every WWE show! With the Excellence of Exquisiteness Albertooooooooooo Delllll Riiiiiiioooooooooooooo! But you....you already know that! Del Rio reminds us that Valentines Day is around the corner and just because he's a big bad wrestler, doesn't mean he doesn't have a soft side. What he loves is Destiny...and who does destiny apply to? Him, Alberto Del Rio. He then takes a cheap shot at Aaron Rodgers when Kobe Johnson decides to make a bad Jamaican err African err Bostonian promo and then goes to attack Del Rio with the Kendo Stick. Del Rio begs for mercy to no avail. Kofi wails on Del Rio and the Valentines set as we go to commercial. I wonder if they're gonna have a match at
Elimination Chamber *rolls eyes*

Alberto Del Rio beat "Mr. Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston in a singles match via submission: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We come back to intros to Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T the new Smackdown announce team. And the match begins. Kofi's promos blow, but he's decent in-ring. End match Kofi gets a flying cross body on Del rIo for a long two. Kofi follows up with the SOS, but Del Rios gets the bottom rope after a long time two. Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise , but Del Rio ducked out of the ring, and Kofi keeps at it. Del Rio hit Kofi's arm on the steel steps and throws him back in the ring. Finally Del Rio hits the corkscrew cross armbreaker and Kofi taps like a bitch.

Todd Grisham is in the back with the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. He asked if he thinks Vickie will call the match down the middle, and Edge says she will and they'll all go out to Sizzler afterwards. Edge goes onto say he doesn't know he's going to retain the title. I don't know either, I've cried over it every night since last Friday.

Did you know? Fat Jesus runs faster than Matt Hardy.

They recap Aaron Rodgers getting the World title during the Super Bowl and then getting the WWE spinner title on Letterman. Also the Green Bay Packers, led by Clay Matthews are in the crowd.

Justin Gabriel w/The Corre beat Vladimir Kozlof (World Tag Team Champion) w/Santino in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Team Cobra as the tag champs come to the ring. End match Santino hits The Cobra on Heath on the outside, and Gabriel kicks him. Big Vlad hits a head butt on Gabriel. Vlad then goes for a huge elbow drop but Gabriel gets his knees up. He then sets up and hits the 450 Splash for the pinfall. Afterward Wade throws Santino back in the ring and gives him The Wasteland for good measure. Ending with Ezekiel Jackson hitting The Book of Ezekiel of Vladimir.

Drew McIntyre beat "Mr. Titty Dance" Chris Masters in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Uh-oh Chris doesn't get an entrance? He's not winning. I still love Drew's theme, I listen to it everyday. Not really, but I do like it. Drew cuts a promo mid-match says he hold Edge responsible for getting Kelly Kelly fired and this match is for her. Why is Teddy Long reffing this match? End match, Masters missed a cross body. Drew goes for a backslide, Masters counters into his own, but Drew goes up and over keeps Masters arms locked into the Future Shock DDT for the 1-2-3.

Rey Mysterio vs Wade "The Botanist" Barrett in a singles match:
They show last month, when Mysterio unmercifully broke "Dashing" Cody Rhodes' face and inform us that his surgery. Grisham catches Rey in the back and asks him about Cody. He says he doesn't feel its his fault, and that WWE Superstar should suspect to get injured. He ends by sarcastically mocking Cody and yelling "CHAOO" for some random reason. Cue Wade Barrett to the ring, and he wants to talk. He says that he'll be the Corre's member in the Elimination Chamber and the one to go onto Wrestlemania. But The Corre are all still equal people can't forget that. They're Smackdown Revolution is moving along nicely, and you guessed it, Rey is next on their list. Show meh the commercials.

Nice, the 600th episode of Smackdown next week with a huge tag team match between everyone in the WWE. It'll be the longest match on WWE TV all two hours of the broadcast.

Cue Rey Mysterio to come out for the match. Yes, I think all The Corre works together as one. Wade is the brains, Ezekiel is the brawn, Gabriel is the technical, and Slater is the catering. As we go to commercial, Wade hits a back suplex with Rey on the Barrettcade. The puns flow here baby. Learn to love 'em. End match, Wade hits Rey with a Tilt-O-Whirl sdieslam for a long two. Wade stalks Rey, and sets up for the pump handle slam. Rey counters into a head scissors and goes for the 619. Instead he takes out Justin Gabriel and gets blidsided by Barrett. Barrett proceeded to hit the Wasteland for the 1-2-3.

Afterward the rest of the Corre hit the ring and are about to hit Rey with the 450 Splash when Big Show hits the ring and destroys everyone. But then Ezekiel Jackson regroups and flattens him. They wail on Big Show and as the grand finale Ezekiel suplexed the Big Show. JACKSON SUPLEXED THE BIG SHOW. Sorry for the caps, it had to be done. I love Ezekiel Jackson. Domination.

Kane beat JobberTG in a singles match via pinfall 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
JTG is in the ring, no entrance, and then Kane comes out? Yeah, he's fucked. I'm not doing any play by play, Kane's gonna win with his chokeslam. It's not worth my typing effort.So Imma take this time to plug my JTV Channel (http://www.justin.tv/crazyday2606). I play games on emulator and can stream movies, TV, or wrestling. Come follow me if you want. It's reeks of awesomeness. (Thanks for posting Edge and Christian)

Well I guess we're going to have Elimination Chamber promos every year. It's all good, I like them. Are we allowed to remember Eric Bischoff invented this?

Yes! Lay-Cool, Layla and Michelle McCool, are in the back bitching about Eve. God Layla is hot. They walk past Vickie who said they were the wrong choice for last week and to do something right she has to do it her self. (Thanks for posting cliche) Ziggler then comes up and yells at Layla. That man whore, it's ok I know it's storyline, I think. Layla walks off and they keep the camera on Michelle's cleavage as we hit commercial.

Did you know? Buddah runs faster than Matt Hardy.

Eve Torres (Divas Champion) beat Layla w/Michelle McCool in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Yes! My little British Buttercup is in action against my former favorite diva Eve Torres. I have a "dreams come true" boner right now. Nice armbar/Camel clutch combo by Layla. End match Eve hits a standing moonsault for a two. Eve catches Layla and hits her with a Mic Check. Eve goes for a moonsault on the top, McCool jumps on the apron and Layla knocks her to the canvas. Layla drags her to the middle for the pin and Eve no sells the fall and floats over into a cover of her own for the pinfall. This is one of the reasons Eve isn't my favorite anymore. I know she's booked to do it, but that just looked bad.

Edge (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Dolph Ziggler in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship with Special Guest Referee Vickie Guerrero: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Edge, the champ out first, big fight feel, even though they'll get about 10 minutes. Ziggler next, I like him, the future, but not just yet IMO. Finally Vickie Guerrero, the GM the Cougar, the special guest ref. EXCUSE ME! Vickie took the mic from Chimel and informs us that the ban on the Spear is still in effect. It's not Smackdown until Chimel's voice cracks during Edge's intro, and since Chimel never introduced anyone this hasn't been a Smackdown in my view. Haha imagine if I was really like that. End match, Edge hits the Edgecution but Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. Ziggler hits a running leg drop on Edge nad get a long two. They collide and both men are down. Vickie calls for the Spear on Edge and bounces off him like an arrow off armor. Vickie is on the outside injured. Edge spears Dolph and calls for a ref. No one come so Edge spears Dolph again and calls for a ref again. This time Clay Matthews comes out in a ref shirt, the place erupts, he runs to the ring and counts the pinfall. REJOICE! Chimels voice cracked when he announced Edge the winner, the Gods above are real! Afterward they celebrate in the ring as as Smackdown goes to black they show Vickie waving of the match. Did I actually like this... *drum roll* Yes.

Smackdown Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I really liked this week's Smackdown. There was that dud Kane/JTG match, but every other match was solid to good and had good spots in them. Del Rio was on point as usual, Tag was as good as it's gonna get, the counter at the end of the Masters/McIntyre match was awesome, Barrett/Mysterio had a good tv match then Big Zeke owning all, ending with a better than Raw diva match and the ending match I just said I liked between Edge/Ziggler. It was just a good Smackdown, enough said.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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http://www.twitter.com/_FatJesus_

I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!

The Smackdown Lowdown 2/4/11

Alberto Dellllllllllllll Rioooooooooooo has won the 2011 WWE Royal Rumble! The Essence of Exquisiteness has achieved part one of his two part destiny plan. Part 2? Going on to beat the World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemaina 27. But will it be Edge? Or could it be perhaps Ziggler winning the title tonight in the mixed tag with Lay-Cool vs Edge and Kelly Kelly? Either way they still have to get through Elimination Chamber and tonight's edition of giving you the lowdown on Smackdown!

Booker T is here and he's the new Smackdown announcer! Now can you dig that suckas! Spin-a-Rooni at 7:03CDT! Out comes Vickie and Dolph Ziggler to the ring. Vickie tells us that there will be qualifying matches for the Smackdown Elimination Chambers. Then she tells us about the Main Event Handicap Match for the World Title. She calls the dumb blone to the ring, they gabble about clothes and makeup. Dolph starts yelling at Kelly for costing him is title at the Royal Rumble and tells her to vamoosh. Kelly slapped Dolph and pushed Vickie down. Lay-Cool runs down an corners Kelly. Then Edge runs down and punches McCool in the face...err that was Dolph. Kelly and Edge go up the ramp while Lay-Cool and Vickie are on the outside of the ring.

Did you that Flozell Adams runs faster than Matt Hardy?

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater beat Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlof w/Tamina vs in a tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Team Cobra FTW! Why is Teddy Long reffing this match? End match Gabriel throws Santino out,the Vlad returns the favor to Gabriel. Heath kicks Vlad in the back of the knee and follows up with a sit back neck-breaker. He tags in Gabriel who hits the 450 Splash for the pinfall. Solid but short match. I generally like everyone in this and if they got 7-9 minutes it could be alright.

Drew McIntyre beat Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #1: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
As we go to commercial Kofi gets dropped on his guy on the steel steps on the outside. It should be noted Booker T is a face commentator and is already calling Cole out on his bullshit. End match Kofi hits a counter DDT on Drew for a long two. They slug it out and Kofi has Drew reeling in the corer and follows up with the leaping clothesline in to the Boom Drop. He sets up for Trouble in Paradise and misses cause Drew gets to the ropes. Then outta nowhere Del Rio comes on the tron and winks at the distracted Kingston. Drew kicks Kofi in the knee and hits the Future Shock DDT for the pinfall and the spot in the Elimination Chamber.

The trench coat man in the rain walking into a dilapidated house. 2-21-11, the night after Elimination Chamber. It's either Undertaker or the rumored to be singed with the WWE, Sting.

Rey Mysterio vs "The All American American American American" Jack Swagger Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #2: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Swagger's back to push-ups! This is a momentous occasion. End match, Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Rey for a long two. He follows up with a leg lock grounding Rey. Rey tries to fight back but gets pinned for another two. Swagger hip-locks Rey across the ring and goes for Vader Bomb #2 and misses. Rey goes ot the second rope, he dives on Swagger who catches him, but counters into a DDT for a long two again. Swagger charges Rey and gets drop toe held into the ropes. But Swagger catches the 619 and slaps on the Ankle Lock. Rey counters out and sends Swagger into the corner, and kicks Swagger in the face ending with a roll-up for the win.

Edge and Kelly are in the back. Edge says he doesn't want his title reign to end like this. Kelly says that Edge doesn't have faith in her (Yes), and that him and McIntyre are the same (No) and storms off to use her tampons.

The Jobber Diva, Rosa, now with black hair, and the little green midget Hornswoggle are handing trinkets out when Del Rio is scheduled to have his Royal Rumble party. He tells us it was his destiny to win the Rumble, and go on to main event 'Mania. Del Rio says that the Pinata hanging about the ring is for Horny. Del Rio forgets the name of the where they're at and covers 'Swoggles face and spins him around. Hornswoggle missed about 30 times before Del Rio lowers it. Hornswoggle starts swinging and hit's Del Rio, who returns the favor by kicking Hornswoggle in the face. Kofi runs out to save the day and clotheslines over Del Rio. Kofi checks on Hornswoggle and gets attack from behind from Del Rio. He hits Kofi three or four times with the kindo stick and slaps on the cross armbreaker and the refs have to come out and break it up. Booker's pissed and Cole's loving it all.

Kane beat Chavo Guerrero in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #3 via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Chavo hangs up Kane, Chavo goes for Frog Splash, Chavo gets caught by Kane, Kane hit's massive chokeslam, Kane gets the 1-2-3, Kane is the third qualifier for Smackdown's Elimination Chamber.

They run The Chaperone trailer. Meeeehhhhhhhhhhh.

Wade Barrett w/Ezekiel Jackson/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater beat The Big Show in Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match #4 via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The rest of Corre surrounds the ring as the match starts. About two minutes in the ref gets taken out. Big Zeke plasters Show but he kicks out. Barrett hits a DDT to finish him off and take the last spot in Smackdown's Elimination Chamber. Big Show gets pissed afterward and starts throwing the Corre, until Ezekiel Jackson dominates and takes him out for good.

Edge/Kelly Kelly beat Dolph Ziggler/Layla/Michelle McCool in a 2-on-3 Handicap match for the World Heavyweight Championship: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Ohhh Layla is looks STUNNING as always as Team Ziglacool get ready to face Team Awesome Bimbo. Not working? Didn't think so. Kelly Kelly is defending the World title..holy God, she's the best stripper turned exhibitionist, turned terrible diva EVER! End match, Kelly tags in Edge, but the ref doesn't see it. All hell breaks loose, Kelly and Lay-Cool go at it in the ring while Edge and Ziggler are on the outside. Edge takes out Ziggler. And McCool accidentally kicks Layla. Kelly throws out McCool. Edge calls for the tag, but Kelly spears Layla for the pinfall.

After the match Vickie Guerrero gets in the ring and FIRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Kelly Kelly. I'm cheering at this point. Kelly immediately starts crying and walks up the ramp.It's truly an Oscar-worthy performance...ya know if The Oscars had a slut category. Vickie then turns to Edge and tells him he's going to lose his title next week in a match against Ziggler. And the special guest referee would be Vickie herself. Dolph sneaks in and hits the Zig-Zag as we go off the air.

Smackdown Rating: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
A notch below last week cause of match quality, but Booker T is back (and great on the mic), and we have both Elimination Chamber matches set for two weeks from Sunday. Kelly Kelly getting fired is another plus, but still the match quality was below average. Almost no promo time, but Alberto Del Rio kicking Hornswoggle bumped it up half a star. Pretty underwhelming night from a usually average to good show each week. Now can you dig this? SUCKA!

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!