Kelly Kelly is fried. Vickie is hot and out of control as Smackdown GM, Dolph Ziggler has finally stopped introducing himself to people (are we allowed to remember that?) and Edge has to defend his World title yet again. We're a little over a week out from the Elimination Chamber and Vince is alive in the WWE world again. I'm here to help make sense of all this by giving you the lowdown on Smackdown.
We start with a recap of last weeks handicap world title match. Kelly won with Edge's spear, gets fired and Vickie sets up Dolph Ziggler vs Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship with her highness as the special ref.
Yes! This is how we should start every WWE show! With the Excellence of Exquisiteness Albertooooooooooo Delllll Riiiiiiioooooooooooooo! But you....you already know that! Del Rio reminds us that Valentines Day is around the corner and just because he's a big bad wrestler, doesn't mean he doesn't have a soft side. What he loves is Destiny...and who does destiny apply to? Him, Alberto Del Rio. He then takes a cheap shot at Aaron Rodgers when Kobe Johnson decides to make a bad Jamaican err African err Bostonian promo and then goes to attack Del Rio with the Kendo Stick. Del Rio begs for mercy to no avail. Kofi wails on Del Rio and the Valentines set as we go to commercial. I wonder if they're gonna have a match at
Elimination Chamber *rolls eyes*
Alberto Del Rio beat "Mr. Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston in a singles match via submission: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We come back to intros to Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T the new Smackdown announce team. And the match begins. Kofi's promos blow, but he's decent in-ring. End match Kofi gets a flying cross body on Del rIo for a long two. Kofi follows up with the SOS, but Del Rios gets the bottom rope after a long time two. Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise , but Del Rio ducked out of the ring, and Kofi keeps at it. Del Rio hit Kofi's arm on the steel steps and throws him back in the ring. Finally Del Rio hits the corkscrew cross armbreaker and Kofi taps like a bitch.
Todd Grisham is in the back with the World Heavyweight Champion Edge. He asked if he thinks Vickie will call the match down the middle, and Edge says she will and they'll all go out to Sizzler afterwards. Edge goes onto say he doesn't know he's going to retain the title. I don't know either, I've cried over it every night since last Friday.
Did you know? Fat Jesus runs faster than Matt Hardy.
They recap Aaron Rodgers getting the World title during the Super Bowl and then getting the WWE spinner title on Letterman. Also the Green Bay Packers, led by Clay Matthews are in the crowd.
Justin Gabriel w/The Corre beat Vladimir Kozlof (World Tag Team Champion) w/Santino in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Team Cobra as the tag champs come to the ring. End match Santino hits The Cobra on Heath on the outside, and Gabriel kicks him. Big Vlad hits a head butt on Gabriel. Vlad then goes for a huge elbow drop but Gabriel gets his knees up. He then sets up and hits the 450 Splash for the pinfall. Afterward Wade throws Santino back in the ring and gives him The Wasteland for good measure. Ending with Ezekiel Jackson hitting The Book of Ezekiel of Vladimir.
Drew McIntyre beat "Mr. Titty Dance" Chris Masters in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Uh-oh Chris doesn't get an entrance? He's not winning. I still love Drew's theme, I listen to it everyday. Not really, but I do like it. Drew cuts a promo mid-match says he hold Edge responsible for getting Kelly Kelly fired and this match is for her. Why is Teddy Long reffing this match? End match, Masters missed a cross body. Drew goes for a backslide, Masters counters into his own, but Drew goes up and over keeps Masters arms locked into the Future Shock DDT for the 1-2-3.
Rey Mysterio vs Wade "The Botanist" Barrett in a singles match:
They show last month, when Mysterio unmercifully broke "Dashing" Cody Rhodes' face and inform us that his surgery. Grisham catches Rey in the back and asks him about Cody. He says he doesn't feel its his fault, and that WWE Superstar should suspect to get injured. He ends by sarcastically mocking Cody and yelling "CHAOO" for some random reason. Cue Wade Barrett to the ring, and he wants to talk. He says that he'll be the Corre's member in the Elimination Chamber and the one to go onto Wrestlemania. But The Corre are all still equal people can't forget that. They're Smackdown Revolution is moving along nicely, and you guessed it, Rey is next on their list. Show meh the commercials.
Nice, the 600th episode of Smackdown next week with a huge tag team match between everyone in the WWE. It'll be the longest match on WWE TV all two hours of the broadcast.
Cue Rey Mysterio to come out for the match. Yes, I think all The Corre works together as one. Wade is the brains, Ezekiel is the brawn, Gabriel is the technical, and Slater is the catering. As we go to commercial, Wade hits a back suplex with Rey on the Barrettcade. The puns flow here baby. Learn to love 'em. End match, Wade hits Rey with a Tilt-O-Whirl sdieslam for a long two. Wade stalks Rey, and sets up for the pump handle slam. Rey counters into a head scissors and goes for the 619. Instead he takes out Justin Gabriel and gets blidsided by Barrett. Barrett proceeded to hit the Wasteland for the 1-2-3.
Afterward the rest of the Corre hit the ring and are about to hit Rey with the 450 Splash when Big Show hits the ring and destroys everyone. But then Ezekiel Jackson regroups and flattens him. They wail on Big Show and as the grand finale Ezekiel suplexed the Big Show. JACKSON SUPLEXED THE BIG SHOW. Sorry for the caps, it had to be done. I love Ezekiel Jackson. Domination.
Kane beat JobberTG in a singles match via pinfall 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
JTG is in the ring, no entrance, and then Kane comes out? Yeah, he's fucked. I'm not doing any play by play, Kane's gonna win with his chokeslam. It's not worth my typing effort.So Imma take this time to plug my JTV Channel (http://www.justin.tv/crazyday2606). I play games on emulator and can stream movies, TV, or wrestling. Come follow me if you want. It's reeks of awesomeness. (Thanks for posting Edge and Christian)
Well I guess we're going to have Elimination Chamber promos every year. It's all good, I like them. Are we allowed to remember Eric Bischoff invented this?
Yes! Lay-Cool, Layla and Michelle McCool, are in the back bitching about Eve. God Layla is hot. They walk past Vickie who said they were the wrong choice for last week and to do something right she has to do it her self. (Thanks for posting cliche) Ziggler then comes up and yells at Layla. That man whore, it's ok I know it's storyline, I think. Layla walks off and they keep the camera on Michelle's cleavage as we hit commercial.
Did you know? Buddah runs faster than Matt Hardy.
Eve Torres (Divas Champion) beat Layla w/Michelle McCool in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Yes! My little British Buttercup is in action against my former favorite diva Eve Torres. I have a "dreams come true" boner right now. Nice armbar/Camel clutch combo by Layla. End match Eve hits a standing moonsault for a two. Eve catches Layla and hits her with a Mic Check. Eve goes for a moonsault on the top, McCool jumps on the apron and Layla knocks her to the canvas. Layla drags her to the middle for the pin and Eve no sells the fall and floats over into a cover of her own for the pinfall. This is one of the reasons Eve isn't my favorite anymore. I know she's booked to do it, but that just looked bad.
Edge (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Dolph Ziggler in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship with Special Guest Referee Vickie Guerrero: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Edge, the champ out first, big fight feel, even though they'll get about 10 minutes. Ziggler next, I like him, the future, but not just yet IMO. Finally Vickie Guerrero, the GM the Cougar, the special guest ref. EXCUSE ME! Vickie took the mic from Chimel and informs us that the ban on the Spear is still in effect. It's not Smackdown until Chimel's voice cracks during Edge's intro, and since Chimel never introduced anyone this hasn't been a Smackdown in my view. Haha imagine if I was really like that. End match, Edge hits the Edgecution but Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. Ziggler hits a running leg drop on Edge nad get a long two. They collide and both men are down. Vickie calls for the Spear on Edge and bounces off him like an arrow off armor. Vickie is on the outside injured. Edge spears Dolph and calls for a ref. No one come so Edge spears Dolph again and calls for a ref again. This time Clay Matthews comes out in a ref shirt, the place erupts, he runs to the ring and counts the pinfall. REJOICE! Chimels voice cracked when he announced Edge the winner, the Gods above are real! Afterward they celebrate in the ring as as Smackdown goes to black they show Vickie waving of the match. Did I actually like this... *drum roll* Yes.
Smackdown Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I really liked this week's Smackdown. There was that dud Kane/JTG match, but every other match was solid to good and had good spots in them. Del Rio was on point as usual, Tag was as good as it's gonna get, the counter at the end of the Masters/McIntyre match was awesome, Barrett/Mysterio had a good tv match then Big Zeke owning all, ending with a better than Raw diva match and the ending match I just said I liked between Edge/Ziggler. It was just a good Smackdown, enough said.
That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!
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