It's Smackdown time! 3 days before the Royal Rumble. Who will win, who will go onto...ah you know the rest. My pick is for whoever comes in at #34. If it's Cena, Del Rio, Punk, or Morrison I think I'll have a good shot. Anywho hopefully we'll have another good Divas match. Beth and Layla had a grand one last week, and that the Rated RKO reunion vs The Miz and Ziggler goes well. I'm sure other stuff's gonna happen, and that's why I'm giving you this (That's what she said), the lowdown on Smackdown!
We open with a recap of last week when The Corre arrive, then Teddy Long was found in his office, and taken away in an ambulance, The Corre telling Vickie that it wasn't them and finally The Corre helping Gabriel best the World Heavyweight champ Edge.
We open Smackdown with acting GM of Smackdown Vickie Guerrero.She wishes Teddy Long a speedy recovery and as she's moving on Randy Boreton interrupts her. Here comes some boring promo time. Orton tells Vickie to relax and he's here to show his appreciation for being invited to Smackdown. He goes on to say that he doesn't know her very well and flops at a joke, saying you'll have to excuse him for what he's gonna do tonight and Sunday. Orton says he likes Vickie's hair, homo. Oh look, another pun. *Yawns* WOW! They make leather hoodies now? Anywho Ziggler hits the ring and yells at Orton about talking to authority with disrespect. Ziggler says that Orton will show himself and Vickie respect. Ziggler says that on Sunday that when he wins the title Orton will respect him. Orton says what everyone says...you gotta earn it and blah blah, RKO outta nowhere as we go to commercial.
Lay-Cool (Layla/Michelle McCool) beat Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly in a Divas tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
My lovely, flawless British buttercup, Layla, and Michelle McCool get ambushed on the way down the ramp. It helps sneak attacks when you can throw your weight around, eh Kaitlyn. FYI, I hate her more than Kelly Kelly. That should tell you something. McCool gets the win in about a minute after a straight kick to the face. From Layla/Phoenix last week to this? SMH at WWE.
Drew McIntyre beat JTG in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Fuck me, I love Drew's entrance still. What is yours now is minnnnnnnnne, and I'll dream broken dreams, and make them come true *Guitar* Hey look! I spot JobberTG! And what is Kelly so mad for? Is it her time of the month? Cole owning Kelly Kelly, I am cheering! Oh there's a match going on. Noone cares. Oh comeon JTG, sell the moves you fucker. End match JTG goes for a backslide, Drew rolls through and keeps JTG's arms back right into the Future Shock DDT for the 1-2-3.
Afterward Kelly Kelly got in the ring, while Drew took the quick exit. I think Kelly Kelly's jealous of Drew's hair. Don't worry Drew, I'd wanna get out of the vicinity of Kelly Kelly too. I don't need herpes or gonorrhea or AIDS.
We get a recap of Rey hitting Cody in the face with his knee brace, breaking his nose. Cody's in the back with Grisham and they have an interview with his back to the camera. Saying his dreams of headlining Wrestlemania are over and that he's not "Dashing" anymore.
Who the fuck is this interviewing Edge? Edge hasn't forgot about DJ Gabriel and the One Band guy, haha. He says he's not concerned with The Corre, and his more concerted with his tag match later tonight.
Hey look! It's Alberto Del Rio! But we already know that, talking with creepy Tarver on his way to his Benz. Tarver asked to be his chauffeur, but since he's black, Del Rio declined.
Did you know that 1990s Jared Fogel runs faster than Matt Hardy?
Alberto Del Rio vs 39 Superstars in a Royal Rumble Exhibition match: NR
The Essence of Exquisiteness, Alberto Delllll Rioooooooooooooo! Tonight he's gonna prove it's his destiny to win the Royal Rumble. Seth Allen is the first of 38 other jobber Del Rio will beat. #2 is Mike Stevens, he's world renounced. #3 is Kane, wait he's not a jobber. This is blasphemy. #4 Kofi Kingston and he takes out Kane and Del Rio. #5 is Rey Mysterio. And here comes Vickie to make a tag match, *yawns* predictable. Wait where's the other 34? I've been gipped!
Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston beat Alberto Del Rio/Kane in a tag team match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
This is boring about 8 minutes in. This is boring *clap clap clap clapclap* It's the same rules dumbass Cole, there's just 10 more people. *rubs eyes* Going into commerical, Rey gets a two count on Kane. Rey jumps onto the apron and goes to jump back over and takes a big boot from Kane. End match, Del Rio hits a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for a two on Kingston. No one to tag for Del Rio. Kofi hits a flying crossbody for a long two count. Del Rio doesn't like that Kane broke it up. Kane slugs Del Rio and leaves. Del Rio is yelling at Kane. He gets 619'd into the Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall.
Recap of Raw where Edge got Zig Zagged, Orton hit the ring, A-Ry was drunk, Ziggler took an RKO, A-Ry took an RKO and Miz hit Orton with the briefcase and ran. Riveting.
The Big Show beat Heath Slater in singles match via pinfall: NR
I'm glad Big Show is happy in the WWE again. Too bad he always bores me. He explains when The Corre took him out, cause he's a target, and that's what happens to targets in pro wrestling. He goes on to say the Corre made him angry, and reminded him how it's gonna be in the Rumble. Hey here's The Corre and their horreble shirts. He calls out everyone in the Corre and he still thinks there's a leader. Heath jumps in and we have a match. End match Big Show butt splashes Slater in the corner, gives him the giant shoulder knockdown, and the chokeslam for the win.
Afterward Corre jumped the ring and Ezekiel Jackson owns Big Show again. The rest of Smackdow and Raw rush out and Zeke takes out everyone until they get on the same page. Hey Daniel Bryan's not even a Smackdown superstar. The Corre retreats as the Raw/Smackdown stars stand in the ring.
Here's the Royal Rumble by the numbers again. It's getting tiresome TBH. Still well put together. BTW Shawn Michaels has 41 eliminations, not 39.
Rated RKO [Edge (World Heavyweight Champion)/Randy Orton] beat The Miz (WWE Champion)/Dolph Ziggler w/Alex Riley in a tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Miz tells us about Harry S Trueman and asks us what it has to do with the Royal Rumble Sunday. Nothing. Randy Orton coming out and RKO'ing Ziggler means? Nothing. He could RKO everyone in the area and on Sunday it means absolutely nothing. The Miz says the only voice Orton's gonna hear Sunday is, "I'm the Miz, and I'm still WWE Champion."
Did you know pre-plastic surgery Star Jones runs faster than Matt Hardy?
Why doesn't Edge and Orton come out to the Rated RKO theme? What's up with that? (Thanks for posting Keenan Thompson)Going into commercial Orton has a clotheslinefest 2011 against The Miz ending with the snap powerslam. End match, Edge hits a flapjack on Ziggler, and sets up for the spear. A-Ry jumps on the apron, Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Ziggler for a two. Orton takes out Riley. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Edge hangs onto the ropes. While Ziggler's regrouping he takes the spear from Edge for the pinfall.
Afterward Vickie informs us that until further notice, the spear is banned. And if Edge uses it at the Royal Rumble he will be disqualified and lose the World title. Ziggler takes a spear on the apron and then another one the floor and a third on the floor for good measure.
Smackdown Rating: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Another solid week. I'm feeling lazy. Divas match? Worthless due to Kaitlyn/Kelly. Rey/Kofi v Del Rio/Kane? Boring start, alright finish. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes? Awesome. Big Show and Corre? Meh. Rated RKO v Miz/Ziggler? Soild tag team match. Also good promos all around tonight. Smackdown's been solid so far this yea, nothing terrible, nothing grand. I like Smackdown.
That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day, thanks for reading Fat Jesus disciples!
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