Oh baby it's been awhile. For the three of you that read this, welcome back to The Smackdown Lowdown. Last time I wrote I'm pretty sure Tiffany was still around so things have changed a bit. Well save for the fact that Randy Orton is world champion. Edge has retired and he's back on Smackdown tonight hosting the Cutting Edge with said Orton and Mark Henry. So let's get this Smackdown going so I can give ya'll the lowdown.
We start with the ever familiar "You think you know me", the crowd erupting, and Edge coming out to the pyro show. Too bad Chimel's voice isn't there to crack during his introduction. He says it feels damn good to come out like that and be in a WWE ring again. But it feels better to be in his home town of Toronto. Edge tell's us he's done stuff like film a TV show, but it doesn't compare to being here. He makes a joke that he misses walking into a room and having theme music and pyro going off. A "Thank you Edge" chant bursts out from the crowd. He plugs The Cutting Edge later tonight with Orton and Henry and the familiar "WHOA OHHH" hits. Cody walks out and tells us that Edge is sucking up to us cause his appearance in Haven airs right after Smackdown. Cody starts complaining about our ugliness, but Edge tells him to stop bitching and moaning and to start looking in the mirror. Cody goes on to remind us Edge went out world champ, that after Wrestlemania he's gone on to expose all of us and as far as to even beat the world champ on Raw last week. After a "Spear" chant erupts, Cody hands Edge a paper bag. He says he knows Edge won't put it on, but tells him to go home and put it on his mantle to remind him that Cody is the new face of Smackdown. Edge stops Cody and tells him that the show is going to need a paper bag if Cody's the new face, and he's going to leave before he falls asleep in the ring. Cody is scream for them to cut Edge's music as he leaves. Cody then begins to circle ring side pointing out fans that need paper bag. But he get's popped in the face by someone in a paper bag. Turns out to be Ted DiBiase and he lays a beat down on Cody ending with Dream Street. Ted/Cody should be a good feud, and possibly make the Intercontinental title kind-of relevant again. We get the split screen of Sin Cara and Mr. Money in the Bank, Daniel Bryan walking out to the ring for their match which is next. Also Booker said "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww" during the Rhodes/DiBiase brawl and that's always a highlight in my book.
Did you know? That Jeff Hardy is actually the most normal Hardy brother? Who'dve thunk it?
Daniel Bryan (Mr. Money in the Bank) beat Sin Cara via DQ in a singles match: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
This should be a good match. As is almost any match with Daniel Bryan in it. But if you've been watching any Daniel Bryan matches ever you know this. Sin Cara and his trampoline out first. Booker starts off by telling us that both of these guys are in his Fave Five. It really doesn't matter, but it's a list that never changes so I find it a bit amusing. Also these lights for Sin Cara have always been annoying to me, guess I've just gotten used to them. We have an out to the floor commercial spot as Sin Cara throws Bryan over the top rope. End match Bryan sets Cara up on the top rope. Sin Cara drops through and hangs Bryan in the tree of woe. Sin Cara goes to town on Bryan through Armstrong's 5 count and Bryan wins by DQ. Nice little match, even got a commercial break. Thought it seems like Bryan has been getting far to many losses since he won Money in the Bank. Not a fan of it.
Afterward another Sin Cara comes out. We get a stare down and the crowd cheered for who they thought was the "real" Sin Cara, and the announcers act dumbfounded. The fake Sin Cara was less botchy than the real Sin Cara but I still like this a a little feud and they could have a nice match or two before Huncio or whoever gets unmasked.
Backstage Zack Ryder and Teddy Long are talking about Orton and Henry being civil during The Cutting Edge. Teddy tells us that there's going to be another week where there's a no physicality clause. Zack is told to go tell Orton and Henry. As he leaves Aksana (WHOREEEEEE) comes in a does something awkard and whorey to Teddy. Then the always lovely Trish Stratus comes in and Teddy nervously explains that nothing was going on before she leaves....Hey least we got to see Trish, eh? Woo woo woo, you know it!
Beth Phoenix w/Natalia beat AJ w/Kaitlin via pinfall in a singles match: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
AJ and her super catchy theme! I love AJ if you didn't know. She's great in the ring and ok on the mic. Look up her FCW matches with Naomi and Serena. You'll be hooked like me. But then Beth comes out and the mood changes. The match starts and quickly it becomes a warm up for Beth before her match Sunday with Kelly Kelly for the Divas championship. End match, GlamSlam, 1-2-3. Beth then tells us, us being all the whores in the back, that after Sunday things are going to change around these parts.
We get a video package showcasing The Pale White Yonder, aka Sheamus. I like how they've been doing this with superstars lately. Get's people who may be new a quick intro to a superstar and keeps him relevant.
Trish and Edge and Christian are backstage. Jizztastic. Christian thanks Trish for coming around when she has something to sell. Christian then says that he's sorry for missing calls after what happened at Summerslam. Christian asks Edge to do him a favor about the world title, but Edge calls him a bitch and Christian runs off pissed that Edge doesn't think he deserves it. Zack Ryder runs in and tells Edge to tell Orton and Henry about the "No touching" clause. Woo woo woo, you know it! Trish asks if that was the internet champion and tells Edge to just do some more yoga.
Sheamus/Justin Gabriel beat Christian/Wade Barrett via pinfall in a tag team match: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I've always liked the NXT season 1 winner Wade Barrett and Christan is always a top guy in my eyes so this tag team really appeals to me. Sheamus cuts a promo about Christian's face looking like a "horses arse" and how Barrett is like a bag of manure but half a useful. Them something about picking Gabriel cause he searched far and wide and blah blah. Sorry I tuned out a bit. Typical tag team match where the bigger heels work over Gabriel and Sheamus will get the hot tag and clean house I'd bet. End match, Christian gets hit over the top rope by Sheamus. Sheamus then hits the Blarney Boot and Gabriel gets tagged in to hit the 450 Splash for the three count.
Afterward Christian tries to sneak back in the ring, but Sheamus chases him out and Christian reconsiders the attack. And Gabriel and Sheamus celebrate as we go to a recap of last Friday. Christian and Sheamus could be a nice feud, as well as possibly getting Barrett and Gabriel going.
Did you know? That Zack Gowen runs faster than Matt Hardy.
The Great Khali beat Heath Slater via DQ in a singles match: BOO/10 or CRAP/5 Stars
As Khali's music hits I said to my self "This is gonna suck." I don't hate the guy, he's just fucking terrible in the ring. I said "Are you kidding me." as Slater's music hits. I dislike this guy and he's terrible in the ring. About 30 seconds after this match Gender, Jinder, whatever the hell his name is, comes out and starts yelling at Khali in Indian. Khali ignores him and is about to Khali bomb Slater when Jinder interferes. Afterwards there a two on one beat down of Khali. Eventually Jinder and Slater get killed. Terrible match, terrible angle, terrible post match...just pure terribleness.
Video package of the WWE Channel which is set to premiere sometime next year. Score. The may be the greatest thing WWE has done in years. Especially if they show full PPVs, RAWS, Smackdowns, etc. I'm very excited about this.
Another video package of this CM Punk, he is God to me right now BTW, and Triple H feud. If Trips loses he's not the COO of the WWE anymore. I've loved all the promos so far and I've always like Triple H in ring. Oh yeah Nash is somehow terribly involved, and then "fired", and now I think is going to interfere and help Triple H win. Keeping Punk a good guy and turned Triple H into a big meanie.
R-Truth w/The Miz beat Evan Bourne w/Kofi Kingston (WWE Tag Team Champions) via pinfall in a singles match: NR
Jeremy Piven's two favorite superstars are finally a tag team, in Kobe Johnson and Evan Brawn are the tag champs and going into this Sunday at Night of Champions will be facing The Miz and R-Truth. I'm loving the pairing of both teams. Air Boom for for the in-ring, and The Awesome Truth for the epic promos. The "Canada You Suck" remix of R-Truth's entrance was pretty good. Oh look at 5 people being on commentary, this isn't going to be a clusterfuck at all is it? But thank God it wasn't and this was a squash. End match Bourne goes for Air Bourne, R-Truth moves, Evan lands on his feet, Truth trips him up and the hits Paydirt (Thanks for posting Shelton Benjamin) for the pinfall. I think Air Boom keeps the title on the main fact that The Awesome Truth is going in with complete advantage. But WWE I think is high on Miz and they noticed how well him a Truth work together, so I won't be shocked if the titles change hands.
They showed Mark Henry taking out Orton on Raw after his match with Rhodes as we go into the commercial break before the main event, The Cutting Edge.
The Cutting Edge featuring Randy Orton (World Heavyweight Champion) and Mark Henry (Number One Contender)
We come back to Smackdown with The Cutting Edge set up in the ring, Edge's music playing and Edge in the ring. Edge tells us that Cody said that he was pandering to Toronto. Edge goes on to tell us about him sitting in the 11th row at Wrestlemania 6 and how he won his first Intercontinental title in Toronto as well. He then tells us how important championships are and introduces the number one contender, Mark Henry. Edge then introduces the World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton. Edge reminds them that Teddy Long enacted the no physicality clause. Edge tells us how Henry has killed everything around the WWE and asks Orton if he honestly thinks he can beat him this Sunday. Orton doesn't deny the fact that he's been on a tear lately, but he tells him that he's only got the upper hand (on himself) by sneak attacks and after matches. To answer Edge's question Orton tells Henry that he knows he can beat him. Edge agrees with Orton and tells Henry that by the time Edge came into the WWE Henry was a veteran and that by now he should be a decorated champion by now. But that he thinks lack of desire has kept him in his current position. Henry says that Edge is absolutely right, and he says that he watched people smaller than him become champion over and over and over again. Henry then tells Orton that he's done smiling and he's here to take what Orton's got. Henry says after 15 years, the 15 it took him to get here, he's going to be world champion. Orton says the match Sunday is going to be like Henry's career. 15 years, as the worlds strongest failure. Edge backs the stools up and says this is where he reminds them about Teddy Longs orders, but this is also when Edge tells us The Cutting Edge is over.
Randy Orton and Mark Henry as brawling as soon as Edge leaves the ring and Teddy Long sends out the superstars in the back to try and break them up. To no avail though as Mark Henry gives the World Strongest Slam to Orton and then big splash. Henry then clears the ring of all the superstars and gives Orton a second World Strongest Slam.
Smackdown Rating: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week NR
The Smackdown Lowdown returns to a meh show at best. Sure I'm going to love the segments with Trish, Christan, Edge, and Ryder. But I'm used to the old Smackdown with good meaningful matches and a fun show to watch. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase look like they could have a good feud. And only Edge kept me interested in The Cutting Edge, cause let's face it neither of Orton/Henry are good on the mic. At least in my eyes. That being said I liked The Cutting Edge and most all of the segments. But the matches were all mehish as well. And when four of the matches end in either DQ or a squash I'm not going to be interested in them. All in all mediocre show leading into what could be a very nice PPV in Night of Champions.
That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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