Another Friday means another weekend. It's also mean another episode of Friday Night Smackdown! God all of us people lucky enough to not have lives sure have a nice alternative to crappy Friday night TV. At least that what I hope every week with Smackdown. Its been either really good or really bad all year, but we're coming off a PPV. Mark Henry is the new World Heavyweight Champion and, announced on Raw, will defend the title against Randy Orton at Hell in a Cell in a Hell in a Cell match. This PPV is only two weeks away so let's see what WWE has cooked up for us in the mean time. Let's get you fine reader the lowdown on Smackdown.
We start out the show with John L aka Johnny Ace in the ring with all the Smackdown superstars standing at ringside. Triple H isn't around yet, and Johnny told us that people believe that Triple H has lost control. R-Truth and The Miz were fired at the end of Raw and Johnny Ace tells us that he believes Triple H is in total control despite the critics. He then introduces the new World Heavyweight Champion, the Kool-Aid Man himself, Mark Henry. Henry tells us it took him 15 years to earn the title, and it'll take another 15 for someone to take it from him. As he was telling the black superstars they didn't believe in him, Triple H's music hits. Oh look in the span of 3 minutes Triple H got here. As COO he needs to be more punctual. Triple H awkwardly asks for a handshake that doesn't happen for about a minute before Trips takes the mic. As he's about to speak, Christian interrupts and tells him that everyone is proud of the way he's been running things. Christian says that "lead by example" is both their credo's and that he's kind-of a big deal around here. Christian goes on to ask Triple H if he can see Mark's face on billboards or reading to school kids, and that he deserves one more match to become the face of Smackdown. He then tell Triple H that after a certain someone chokes, he'll be there to pick-up the pieces. Triple H starts by telling the superstars that he is in control, and in control of both Raw and Smackdown. He tells Christian he appreciates his thoughts, and him stepping up as a leader. Triple H then sets up a lumberjack match, it's for the World Heavyweight Championship, and it's Christian against "you know who" Mark Henry. Christian and Henry have a little stare down before Christian exits ringside through all the superstars. We then cut to the back as we go to commercial where Sheamus si getting ready, he's got a match next.
Sheamus beat Heath Slater via pinfall in a Ginger-Only singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Oh look it's Heath Slater and he gets a jobber entrance, as he should. I don't like him, never like him, and I'm probably never going to like him. Also Sheamus is coming out to a nice pop by the crowd now, that's gotta be a good sign. Give him a real opponent/feud. Sheamus' knee lift on the apron is now deemed "Vintage" by Cole. Good job Sheamus, you now have a vintage move, you're top-tier in the WWE. End match, Sheamus hits a powerslam, a shot to the back, and another knee lift. Sheamus then climbs to the top rope and hits his flying shoulder block, waits for Slater to get up and careens him with The Blarney Boot for the pinfall.
Christian comes up to The Great Khali in the back. He asks Khali if he'd rather face a big man like Mark Henry or someone smaller (but smarter and craftier) like Christian. Christian then asks if he can even understand him, and tells him he wants to form an alliance for later tonight. The Great Khali replies with "You're small." Christian calls him a card as he walks away and we go to commercial. Partial comedy. Well they tried and didn't use Hornswoggle, so it wasn't awful.
Did you know? A legless cheetah can run faster, and in a straighter line, than Matt Hardy!
Wade Barrett beat Justin Gabriel via pinfall in a singles match: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Wade Barrett's music hits and he's set for a match with his former Nexus and Corre member Justin Grabel. I mean Gabriel, sorry Booker commentary poisons you. I've always like both of these NXT season 1 contestants. always been glad Barrett won and aside from Daniel Bryan, Gabriel were my top 3. Still I want Barrett to get in a real feud again and for Gabriel to be inserted into the Intercontinental title picture. End match, Barrett's down and Gabriel is sauntering over to set up for the 450. Outta nowhere Barrett blindside's Gabriel with a big boot to the face and hits The Wasteland for the 1-2-3.
Randy Orton vs the Intercontinental Champion, Cody Rhodes later tonight. Could be another good match if given time. Rhodes won the first one live on Raw the other week, but this is Smackdown and there's no PPV Sunday. I'll call an Orton win...don't quote me on it.
Randy Orton is in the back with Striker. He says that whether it be the man who beat him for the title Sunday or the man he's beaten over and over again. That after he comes out of hell, it will be with the World Heavyweight Championship.
I love WWE video packages. The Hell in a Cell one is no different, great job by all the editors. Also doesn't hurt it's one of my favorite gimmick matches of all time.
Christian is in the back trying to recruit more people to his cause. This time he's with Ezekiel Jackson. He tells Big Zeke he knows he's the personification of domination and that he can spot a future world champ, cause he's a two-time champion, and that he has it. Christian leaves confident, here too, that things are going his way.
Beth Phoenix/Natayla (The Divas of Doom) beat AJ/Kaitlyn in a tag team divas match: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
I love everyone in this match but Kaitlyn. She sucks in-ring and always has, and I hate that WWE is so high on her. Regardless, they need to work on the divas division as a whole. But The Divas of Doom need a win after Beth lost at the PPV and the duo losing on Monday. These are squash matches (on Smackdown) for these ladies and I don't see how it helps when Kelly Kelly always gets the win. End match Beth Phoenix hits the GlamSlam on AJ for the pinfall.
Can I still be giddy like a 14 year old at a Justin Bieber concert over the WWE Network that's coming next year? Cause I totally squeal and flap my arms around every time the promo runs.
Cody Rhodes (Intercontinental Champion) beat Randy Orton via DQ in a singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Orton out first. I like it when champions come out after non-champions. The little things. The WHOA-OOH hits and Cody and the Baggers walk down to ringside. Cody using his mask twice behind the refs back in this match is a nice way to keep Cody heel. End match Cody hits Orton with the mask and gets a two count. The Orton comes back, catches a kick by Cody takes his mask and hit's Cody in the face with it.
Afterward Orton goes to town on Cody's face with the mask and the gives him the second rope DDT. Orton then throws Cody out to the floor and clocks him with the ring bell and Cody's bleeding like a motherfucker. Orton ends the onslaught by RKOing Rhodes on the announce table. They edited it to hell but you can see the blood coating Cody/Randy's bodies and the announce table.
Christian is in the back once again and this time he's with Sheamus. Christian gives Sheamus a potato cause the Irish love potatoes. Christian then asks if Sheamus would be out there and on his side. Sheamus says he nothing to worry about. As Christian leaves he says he has a whole bag of those. Sheamus takes a bite out of the potato and spits it out cause it wasn't form Ireland, it was from Idaho. Ha, I actually like that, it worked for me.
The Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal via pinfall in a Indian-Only singles match: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Oh God, why the fuck do they keep putting this terrible, horrible, shitty ass wrestler. I know Vince loves big guys, but Khali is absolutely horrible. Look it's his brother in law or whatever Gender...err Jinder Mahal. I'm not going to judge Mahal off his few squash matches, but this is gonna suck. Why does the crowd like Khali, it just boggles my mind. End match Khali hits the Khali Bomb for the pinfall. Every single match has been less than like 5 minutes, all this is terrible.
Did you know? Aside from Christian and Sheamus' segment this show is donkey balls so far!
Sin Cara #1 beat Daniel Bryan (Mr. Money in the Bank) via pinfall in singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The announcers still sound like this Sin Cara situation is a mystery on the scale as "Is there a God", tone it down a bit. Daniel Bryan, yes. Please more of him. And I've liked their matches so far. If it doesn't end in three minutes and/or a DQ this could be grand. NICE wheelbarrow suplex by Bryan! Sorry I get excited over good looking moves. End match, TWIN MAGIC occurs, Sin Cara #2 comes out and pushes Sin Cara #1 off the top rope. Sin Cara #2 then hits a rolling senton splash on Bryan for the one, two, three. So Sin Cara #2 wins, but Sin Cara #1 get's the recognition. This is weird as fuck. Not bad, I just don't know what to think yet.
Zack Ryder sighting outside of Randy Orton's locker room! And Christian wants to be Broski of the week. Ryder says he wants to help but can't cause it would be a conflict of interest. "Oh radio, tell me everything you know" hits and Zack Ryder picks up his phone, it's Hugh Jackman, and he walks away. Christian thinks about going in Orton's locker room, but walks away instead.
Kofi Kingstom/Evan Bourne [Air Boom] (WWE Tag Team Champions) beat The Usos via pinfall in a tag team match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I'm liking air Boom more and more each week for some reason. And I still don't know what the hell The Usos are doing before they run to the ring but it seems.... Samoan. This could be good, despite the choreography, The Usos are quite good in-ring. End match, Uso hit a super-kick on Kofi for a long two. Kofi then countered out of an Uso double team and hits Trouble in Paradise and the Bourne hits Air Bourne on the Uso for the 1-2-3.
Raw Rebound time. They showcase Hugh Jackman, Dolph Ziggler, Vickie Guerrero, and Zack Ryder. I loved Dolph Ziggler and Hugh's interactions in the ring. Dolph was fire. I love Ryder, he has good matches, great charisma, and hilarious to boot. Woo Woo Woo, you know it bro.
Mark Henry (World Heavyweight Champion) beat Christian via pinfall in a Lumberjack match for the World Heavyweight Championship: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Christian out first and if looks could kill, he would've died about 20 times by now. Mark Henry, the champs is out second. Henry looks focused...or hungry....or thirsty....probably all three. Chimel introduces the two competitors as we go to commercial break before the main event. And Mike Chioda's back, looks well rested, wonder how much weed he smoked during his month off. Too soon? Naw, I love him, think he's WWE's best ref. Bear hug applied, it's the 90s again folks! End match Christian hits two missile drop kicks for a two. He the goes for The Killswitch and gets taken down. Henry gets a two. Henry then gets thrown out of the ring and drags Christian out with him. The whole locker room try to throw Henry back in to no avail. As Henry gets back into the ring, Christian tries to walk away. Sheamus charges out and throws Christian back in the ring. Henry immediately hits him with The Worlds Strongest Slam for the pinfall.
Afterward Randy Orton runs to the ring, and starts brawling with Henry. He goes for the RKO but is blocked. He then hits a standing dropkick that knocks Henry out of the ring. We end Smackdown with Orton staring down Henry from the ring.
Smackdown Rating: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Last Week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
They tried to fit too much in this show, and that's why having PPVs two weeks apart isn't a good idea. none of the matches went over 6 minutes and most only went 2-3. There was nothing but promos and bad, short matches. Albeit I think all the matches could've been good if given time, they weren't and everything about this show just came of bad. I have nothing much else to say is the promos/announcing were for the most part awful and the matches did nothing to help it.
That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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