Sunday, April 1, 2012

Fat Jesus' WWE WrestleMania 28 Predictions

Ahhh Wrestlemania. The biggest show on WWE's calendar. Where they bring out the big guns and big matches. 90% of the time there's gonna be at least 1 good match, 1great match, and 1 masterpiece of a match on each card. This year though there's 4 matches that could break the greatness to masterpiece ceiling. I'm not going to go into huge detail with this. Just gonna jot down some thoughts on the wrestlers and my predictions on who is going to win each match.

WWE Tag Team Champions Epico & Primo vs Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd vs. The Usos in a  Tag Team Triple Threat Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Except for this match. Save for Tyson who is fantastic and Gabriel who is solid, I don't care about this match. And neither does WWE since they put it as a WWE.com match 30 minutes before the actual show starts.
Winner: Epico & Primo

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Divas Champion Beth Phoenix & Eve in a Divas Tag Team Match
As much as I love Beth Phoenix, the best active Diva on the roster, this is going to be a shit match. Ala WM24, 25, 26, 27, and I can safely say all Wrestlemania's until Divas matter in the WWE.
Winner: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

Randy Orton vs. Kane in a Singles Match
Another match that I don't care about, but Orton has been solid the past year and both hi mand Kane are hard workers. it's not going to be a memorable match. But I think it will be solid enough and will keep my attention while it's on.
Winner: Randy Orton

Team Teddy (Booker T, The Great Khali, R-Truth, Santino (United States Champion), Kofi Kingston and Zack Ryder) vs. Team Johnny (Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and The Miz)
Winning Team's Manager Becomes GM of Both Raw and Smackdown
Ahhh if this were the Money in the Bank match and half these jobbers weren't here I'd be excited. But this is clearly just a match to show off talent and hit finishers. I could care less who runs both shows, I want a decent match. I think this is just a way to get Johnny off screen, for whatever reason. Better talent of team Johnny though unfortunately.
Winner: Team Teddy

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show in a Singles Match for the Intercontinental Championship
I love Cody. I've always liked The Big Show. WHEN he has a godly size opponent that can slow it down with him, ala Kane or Mark Henry. I loved Cody's promos heading into the match, tearing down Show's past  Wrestlemania blunder, but it makes me think he'll get his "time" tonight.
Winner: The Big Show

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus in a Singles Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
The two men who were supposed to meet in a United States Championship match last year, that got bumped, now are both competing for the world title in one of the main events of Wrestlemaina. Bryan is probably one of the top 10 pure wrestlers of the last 10 years and Sheamus is one of the best big man/brawler/technician's in the WWE. This could be a VERY nice match.
Winner:  World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho in a Single Match for the WWE Championship
Easily the best wrestler from last year, with easily one of the best wrestler of all time. Both phenomenal in the ring. Both epic on the mic. Give them 30 minutes and it will steal the now. Enough said.
Winner: WWE Champion, CM Punk

The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a Hell in a Cell Match with special referee Shawn Michaels
The dubbed End of an Era match. The Undertaker and Shawn Michael Michaels and Undertaker and Triple H match last year have been the highlights each year. Now they've caged the two from last year and added the man that propelled Undertakers WM legend even higher. Obviously Taker wins, but if this is on par with the past three years, then it will be a nice match.
Winner: The Undertaker

John Cena vs. The Rock in a Singles Match
The match a year in the making a pertty much promo only feud up till now. and Cena has come out on top with his. Stepping up night in and out. The Rock's were good but lacked. Give them time and it'll be a decent little match. Not main event of WM worthy, at least I'm not expecting it to be. Also they'll have three matches over the next year I'd assume.
Winner: John Cena

Winners
Epico & Primo
Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos
Randy Orton
Team Teddy
The Big Show
Daniel Bryan
CM Punk
The Undertaker
John Cena

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