Fat Jesus' WWE Extreme Rules 2012 Predictions

Like Backlash of old, WWE has turned Extreme Rules into the Wrestlemania rematch PPV. 'Cept it's more gimmicky. 4 of these matches are rematches from WM and three of them are again title bouts.

Nikki Bella (WWE Divas Champion) vs Beth Phoenix in a single match for the WWE Divas Championship

Bella are awful wrestlers and Beth Phoenix not only knows what she's doing BUT is good at what she does. Pretty sure they're going to continues with the ankle injury thing though. Shame. Beth is easily the best diva on the roster.

Winner (And Still Divas Champion): Nikki Bella

Randy Orton vs Kane in a Fall Count Anywhere Match

This is another feud I can't quite understand. The build has been them trying to get into each others head to no avail. Still don't know why they started feuding, but they've given us a couple solid matches. Doesn't make me care at all about this though.

Winner: Randy Orton

Santino (WWE United States Champion) vs The Miz in a singles match for the WWE United States Champion

Really no reason for this match. Really no reason for Santino to have the title tbh. But WWE logic makes no sense. Santino retains.

Winner (And Still United States Champion): Santino

The Big Show (WWE Intercontinental Champion) vs Cody Rhodes in a tables match for the Intercontinental Championship

I don't mind a win by either here. Let Cody have a long run by winning it back. Or let Big Show keep it and have a long reign while Cody moves up to the  main event area.

Winner (And Still Intercontinental Champion): The Big Show

CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship

Don't like gimmicky matches like this or street fights for that matter. But I think these two can make it work. Both will work hard and I love both in the ring and on the mic. The build up was nice as well.

Winner (And Still WWE Champion): CM Punk

Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Daniel Bryan in a 2-Out-Of-3 Falls match for the World Heavyweight Champion

Give this 30 minutes and it will be match of the night. Both are hard workers and always put on GREAT matches when given the time. YES YES YES YES!

Winner (And Still World Heavyweight Champion): Sheamus

Brock Lesnar vs John Cena in an Extreme Rules match

I don't think John Cena, the poster boy, is going to lose two PPVs in a row. I'm more looking and how well Brock will be able to keep up in his first match (and this could be a grueling one) back with the company.

Winner: Brock Leasnar

Winners

Nikki Bella

Randy Orton

Santino*

The Big Show

CM Punk

Sheamus

Brock Lesnar

Fat Jesus' WWE WrestleMania 28 Predictions

Ahhh Wrestlemania. The biggest show on WWE's calendar. Where they bring out the big guns and big matches. 90% of the time there's gonna be at least 1 good match, 1great match, and 1 masterpiece of a match on each card. This year though there's 4 matches that could break the greatness to masterpiece ceiling. I'm not going to go into huge detail with this. Just gonna jot down some thoughts on the wrestlers and my predictions on who is going to win each match.

WWE Tag Team Champions Epico & Primo vs Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd vs. The Usos in a  Tag Team Triple Threat Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Except for this match. Save for Tyson who is fantastic and Gabriel who is solid, I don't care about this match. And neither does WWE since they put it as a WWE.com match 30 minutes before the actual show starts.

Winner: Epico & Primo

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Divas Champion Beth Phoenix & Eve in a Divas Tag Team Match

As much as I love Beth Phoenix, the best active Diva on the roster, this is going to be a shit match. Ala WM24, 25, 26, 27, and I can safely say all Wrestlemania's until Divas matter in the WWE.

Winner: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

Randy Orton vs. Kane in a Singles Match

Another match that I don't care about, but Orton has been solid the past year and both hi mand Kane are hard workers. it's not going to be a memorable match. But I think it will be solid enough and will keep my attention while it's on.

Winner: Randy Orton

Team Teddy (Booker T, The Great Khali, R-Truth, Santino (United States Champion), Kofi Kingston and Zack Ryder) vs. Team Johnny (Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and The Miz)

Winning Team's Manager Becomes GM of Both Raw and Smackdown

Ahhh if this were the Money in the Bank match and half these jobbers weren't here I'd be excited. But this is clearly just a match to show off talent and hit finishers. I could care less who runs both shows, I want a decent match. I think this is just a way to get Johnny off screen, for whatever reason. Better talent of team Johnny though unfortunately.

Winner: Team Teddy

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show in a Singles Match for the Intercontinental Championship

I love Cody. I've always liked The Big Show. WHEN he has a godly size opponent that can slow it down with him, ala Kane or Mark Henry. I loved Cody's promos heading into the match, tearing down Show's past  Wrestlemania blunder, but it makes me think he'll get his "time" tonight.

Winner: The Big Show

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus in a Singles Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

The two men who were supposed to meet in a United States Championship match last year, that got bumped, now are both competing for the world title in one of the main events of Wrestlemaina. Bryan is probably one of the top 10 pure wrestlers of the last 10 years and Sheamus is one of the best big man/brawler/technician's in the WWE. This could be a VERY nice match.

Winner:  World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho in a Single Match for the WWE Championship

Easily the best wrestler from last year, with easily one of the best wrestler of all time. Both phenomenal in the ring. Both epic on the mic. Give them 30 minutes and it will steal the now. Enough said.

Winner: WWE Champion, CM Punk

The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a Hell in a Cell Match with special referee Shawn Michaels

The dubbed End of an Era match. The Undertaker and Shawn Michael Michaels and Undertaker and Triple H match last year have been the highlights each year. Now they've caged the two from last year and added the man that propelled Undertakers WM legend even higher. Obviously Taker wins, but if this is on par with the past three years, then it will be a nice match.

Winner: The Undertaker

John Cena vs. The Rock in a Singles Match

The match a year in the making a pertty much promo only feud up till now. and Cena has come out on top with his. Stepping up night in and out. The Rock's were good but lacked. Give them time and it'll be a decent little match. Not main event of WM worthy, at least I'm not expecting it to be. Also they'll have three matches over the next year I'd assume.

Winner: John Cena

Winners

Epico & Primo

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

Randy Orton

Team Teddy

The Big Show

Daniel Bryan

CM Punk

The Undertaker

John Cena