Realizations...

Quite frankly, suck. This is easily the second time this has hit me in the face I should take a cue and listen to it. This won't be long. It'll be full of me saying low self esteem-y things though. Even if you're the nicest person self esteem issues can cripple you. I know a lot people that are down on them selves, and even lately (A TON) it hits me in the gut. Everyone I know has had "the time of their" lives, even if it was only fleeting. Yup here comes the whiny rant. The one girl, the flings, the one boy, etc. Me, nah. Not for lack of trying, I've been rejected more times than I care to count. I've gotten some, but never anything substantial. It sours me. It sours me when people don't see how awesome they are. When they constantly have guys or girls all over them or wanting and they still think nothing of themselves. It might be a vanity issue, but Jesus you people are liked enough by people to have them go all out for you. Me? That's never happened to. I get to sit listen to it and sulk because that's what I do. You go off about that one girl or guy and I go into a tail spin because it's never happened with me. Maybe it's the girls I chose, maybe it's me. Hell, it's probably me. I'm lazy, fay, ugly, and fucking stutter my ass off around girls and get shy. Who would want me, and so far, and it will probably stay, no one. I wish I didn't fall for girls, I wish the ones I did happen to like would've given me the time of day and wish that I could just get over some instead of beating myself up emotionally over hat's most likely never gonna happen. But I won't get over it, I probably never will either. So I'll just go on, content in the fact that girls will never "want me" and I guess that's fine. Sad, sure, but I guess I gotta accept it. Meh, /end emo rant about being forever alone.