I'm Sick Of....

Feeling bad and caring for people. It's that simple. Full on rant incoming. Lately I've been trying to get off of the "let's not give a shit" bandwagon and it's gotten me nowhere. Its gotten me anxietal feelings I haven't had in months over the past week. And holy God I've done nothing wrong. I cast (I beat BioShock 2 yesterday and it was AMAZING), I watch TV, I watch casts, I watch some movies, talk to friends on Skype and I play video games online with friends. Hell, Binding of Isaac and Mario Kart 7 are riots playing with friends. I love it. And that's literally all I do. I'm lazy, fat, ugly, I have no job, and I'm not going back to school till the fall. I have no girlfriend or any interest in any girls right now. My life is awful. YET SOMEHOW, when I try to be nice, hang out with people who are lonely/alone/bored, do the right thing, whatever, it's either shrugged off or I'm ignored. Well Jesus Christ I'm sick of it. TO TOP IT ALL OFF, my family that hardly ever comes around cause my uncle's wife practically hated us for years, comes by this week and tell me I'm depressed and I'm never going to amount to anything here in the US so I should move to China with them and work in a factory to "better myself." DHGfedgwedBVDShgb. I'm losing it. I'm a failure, all I do is disappoint people, all I do is ruin peoples lives and relationships, all the right things I do are wrong. AND FOR WHAT. Apart from posts like this, some emo Tweets/updates or watching wrestling and Twit spamming, I keep to myself. I hate it all, I'm sick of being nice, caring and understanding and being hated for it, scorned for it or ignored altogether. I'm done with it. Quit making me feel bad or just get out of my life. Cause God knows I don't have to balls to do anything about it.

Childish Gambino- "Fuck It All" from Culdesac

"[Hook:]

I ain't gonna be around for ever, so fuck it all

Seein' all this pussy, I'm a fuck it all

Fly around the world, eatin' good, drinkin' alcohol

You ain't nothing like me, nigga, not at all

I ain't gonna be around for ever, so fuck it all

Seein' all this pussy, I'm a fuck it all

Fly around the world, eatin' good, drinkin' alcohol

You ain't nothing like me, nigga, not at all

[Verse 1:]

Tell em what it is, I'm takin' great strides

Hood niggas, hipsters, I ain't trying to take sides

Ex-Girlfriend on my mind, she really fucked me up

Doing shots of whiskey 'till my friends are saying that's enough

I really really miss her, sometimes I wanna fuck it all

Mix some warm Guinness with 20 tablets of Tylenol

Call em while I'm drifting off, tell her that I love her so

Parents crying harder cause I didn't even leave a note

Saying that I'm selfish and I'm sorry that I left

But it hurts so much to wake up and I left you guys a check

Cause I ain't fucking happy, you don't know shit about me

I think it started when she said she happier without me

I really can't blame her cause I'm happier without me

I don't see what girls are seeing when they say their all about me

I'm scared they wanna trap me, these all hoes are all liars

I double bag my shit and never cum while I'm inside her

I used to be a sweet dude, now I'm so angry

Look at what these girls and these fake niggas made me

Cry when I'm writing, I don't really know why

I think it's cause I can't really see myself an old guy

And that scares me, I wanna be around a while

But I feel my purpose goes beyond having raised a child

Bright lights, they tend to burn out fast

So I shine bright, But I'm scared that it won't last

[Hook]

[Verse 2:]

I'm just about the pop, the industry just noticed it

People watching me, I feel like Amber Rose's tits

Friends of mine are over it, people say I changed

And I tell them that I'm glad, cause I don't wanna stay the same

Cause I used to be poor, I used to be unconfident

I used to hate these haters, now it's just the opposite

Not only have I changed, I'm becoming something better

And revenge is for the weak, so I have settled my vendettas

With all of the kids who made my early life a living hell

And I hope you're doing well and feeling better 'bout yourself

Don't know if you can tell, but change is usually for the better

I used to like these bitches but couldn't afford to get em

But now I'll take your girl, yeah player pay homage

That's why I fuck these bad mamas, Kate Gosselin

I'm trying to tell the world I'm nothing to be trifled with

Donald Glover staying hotter than some rifle spit

They only wanna fuck with you after you made your way

But when you started out you couldn't pay em to stay

But now I got em lined up in the lobby door

It makes me wonder what this rapping shits a hobby for

Oh that's right, because I'm gifted in another field, and another field, and another field

They say my public persona don't have enough appeal

I take a lesson from Kanye and give em something real

I'm getting all this attention I wanna do it right

That's why I'm performing for you like every single night

To all my fans who's saying Donald Glover about to blow

Just give me six months so you can say I told you so

[Hook]"