Nexus is two less members...err one less member *wink wink* and Cena, who'da thunk that guy would be so good this year, did it. hopefully they'll start Daniel Bryan and The Miz feud going into Night of Champions. Well as long as Cole is a vintage (@7:58 CDT!) doucher and there is decent matches like last week I'll be content with the B-show. Let's lay down the Raw.
We have our 50th recap in the last seven days of RAW last week, and Young getting kicked out of Nexus.
We start off with the WWE Champ, The Pale White Yonder himself, Sheamus. Oh, look more recaps, God I swear they think we forget stuff so easily. He starts off by calling all the American kids spoiled runts. I agree haha. Fella @8:06 AND @8:07 CDT! He then said Orton was the biggest spoiled kid in the WWE. HAND I QUOTE @8:09 CDT! The GM says that he will be watching a series of matches this evening, and he'll decide at the end of the night who he's gonna fight at Night of Champion.
Edge beat R-Truth in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Oh look Mr. Narcissistic is rapping, the same terrible rap, like he does every time. His best move is putting the mic down. End match Edge gets a two off a cross-body while Truth was in the ropes. He then put him in a modified surfboard submission. Truth fights up, and the both hit a cross-body on each other. Truth takes Edge down with some moves and hits a hip-toss. Truth goes for a superkick and missed and gets taken down by the Edge-O-Matic. Edge sets up for the spear but Truth leapfrogs it. Truth goes for the scissors kick and misses. Edge then hits a short spear outta now-where for the pinfall.
Edge then walks up the ramp and tells Sheamus that if he doesn't beat the 9-time world champ, himself peoples, then he doesn't deserve the title at all.
Chris Jericho vs "The Punjabi Jobber" The Great Kalhi in a singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look, Kalhi's still favoring his ankle that was hurt like 5 weeks ago at Raw tapings. consistency, gotta love it. End match Kalhi misses a leg drop and Chris goes to work on the hurt ankle and leg of Kalhi. ASK HIM @8:32 CDT! Kalhi counters a submission and puts him in the Vice Grip. Jericho gets under the ropes. He then goes for a Codebreaker. Kalhi hits him a nuch but Jericho goes back to the ankle. He slaps on the biggest Walls of Jericho and Kalhi taps out.
Afterward he tells Sheamus he was the first Undisputed WWE Champ and that it was axiomatic that he should get the title shot at Night of Champions. Kalhi knocked him off the top rope for no reason. Sore loser.
Josh "Goofy Smile" Matthews is in the back and his super special secret awesome guest is...John Cena. He says that ever since Miz got an attitudes problem and that hez gonna shut his mouthes with the FU-err the Attitude Adjustment.
Melina (Diva's Champion) beat Jillian in a singles match for the Diva's Championship via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Lol at Cole singing Eminem. I wonder what happened to Eve's shot. Wait I'm supposed to forget that tidbit. VINTAGE MELINA @8:44 CDT! End match Jillian goes for an..well I don't care, and Melina hits The Last Call for the 1-2-3.
Lay-Cool comes on the screen. Aww no real talk. They tell Melina that next week they'll be at the 900th episode of RAW and they have a FLAWLESS plan for Melina.
Matthews has another super special secret awesome guest, is The Miz. Goddammit, their not special guest if you see them every night on tv. -_- Miz says Cena was an ass-tard for trying to embarrass him and saying he has an ego. The Miz says that Sheamus doesn't even need to pick him, and he can cash in at any time.
AND I QUOTE @8:54 CDT! As Nexus is standing on the stage, he informs everyone that the ban of Nexis competing for titles has been lifted. Barret immediately walks over to Sheamus and tell him that the truce is over.
The Miz (United States Champion/Mr. Money in the Bank) beat John Cena in a singles match via DQ: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Haha from complete boos for The Miz, to complete cheers for Cena. I said "Miz hits the People's leg drop" and my friend flipped out haha. I call Santino's headbutt The Peoples Headbutt too, I hope he does it tonight. End match Miz hits his big clothesline in the corner and gets a long two outta it. He goes for it again but Cena moved. He starts his shoulder blocks ans back suplex which gets a VINTAGE @9:13 CDT! Cena hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Miz countered into a backbreaker into a neckbreaker for a long two. Cena then slaps on the STF and Miz barely gets to the ropes. Miz then hits Cena with a big boot for another two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again, but Miz uses the ropes to jump on the apron. Cena goes for a right hand but Miz jumps to the floor. Then everything goes to hell, when Daniel Bryan hits Miz from behind, giving him the win. Cena gives him the Attitude Adjustment and then Bryan slaps on his crossface on Miz for about a minute all while Cole is yelling "THIS IS A TRAVESTY!"
Santino Marrella/Vladimir Kozlof beat The Uso with Tamena in a tag team match to be the No.1 the WWE Tag Team Championships: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
LMFAO at Santino missing three superkicks in a row. End match Santino takes out Uso #1. Uso #2 kicks Santino in the gut and outta the ring. In the ring he goes for a kick but Kozlof hits his spinebuster, the call it The Iron Curtain I think for the pinfall.
Afterward Tamena stops one of the Usos from attacking Santino. Then she loads a kiss into a blow dart and Santino catches it in his cheek. Kozlof really thinks that happened.
Randy Orton beat John Morrison/Ted DiBiase w/Maryse in a triple threat match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Oh man, the lovely Maryse. I mean since Eve hasn't been on the show, I'll cheer for the #2 hottie on RAW. That kid Morrison gave the glasses to won't have sun in his eye tomorrow when he mows some lawns. Aren't I terrible? The voice are ready for this triple threat and they tell Orton to come out. As usual he obliges them. Damn and another recap from last week, and dammit another commercial. *Sigh* End match Orton hit SNAP POWERSLAMS (screw you Cole!) on both men and then we get a VINTAGE @9:43 CDT! Randy misses the RKO and Morrison hits a back heel kick. Morrison goes over the top rope. Teddy goes for Dream Street but he gets thrown over Orton. Morrison springboards in and TAKES AN RKO MID AIR FOR THE WIN! YES! Not as great as the RKO from the Shooting Star Press, but GREAT none the less. After He RKO's DiBiase for good measure as well.
Ol' "Goofy Smile" is is the back with Sheamus and he says he's had enough of Orton and he's gonna make his decision next.
Sheamus (WWE Champion) beat Zack Ryder in a singles match for the WWE Championship via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Sheamus has been tinkin about this for awhile. All of two hours. And instead of fighting at Night of Champions, he's gonna fight that person tonight. The person in "Woo Woo Woo'er" himself Zack Ryder. THE BLARNEY BOOT @9:57 CDT! Hahaha one hit KO FTW!
Sheamus says that now that he's defended his title and he doesn't have to defend it for 30 days. Barrett comes out and says he's using his title shot he won from NXT at NoC! AND I QUOTE @10:00 CDT! The GM infroms us that it won't be just Barrett/Sheamus. It'll be a Six-Pack Challenge, and Chris Jericho/Edge/Randy Orton and the shocker, John Cena. Well never mind, it's not a shocker. They all beat up Barrett and throw him out. Jericho hits a Codebraker on Sheamus. Edge spears Jericho. Cena Attitude Adjusts Edge, and Randy RKOs Cena to close out the show.
RAW Rating 6.5/10 or 3.25/5 Stars
Last Week: 5.5/10 or 2.75/5 Stars
Not a huge step up from last week, but it was a better watch for me. The matches were plenty, but short cause it's RAW. The outcomes were predictable but everyone worked hard. Miz had a nice little promo in the back and a nice match with Cena. Hopefully him and Bryan will duke it out for the United States Championship. The triple threat was pretty good as well, and the RKO Orton gave to Morrison was pretty good. Sheamus is getting better and better on the mic and I like the OHKO of a match for the title with Zack Ryder. Not only if they'd let him do it with Trips, Cena, or Orton. Hey I can dream. Nice ending with the Six Pack announcement and everyone taking each other out. Think Orton's over much? Nah..........sarcasm. Oh well another decent, RAW and Cole's commentary wasn't as bad cause he kept it heel the whole time. Not just when Miz and Bryan were out there.
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples
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