Smackdown, the A-Show, FU haters, is one week removed from Summerfest, where their ICC match got interfered with and the only other noteworthy news is that Undertaker is back. Nothing witty to say cause Fat Jesus is tired from building a bed frame. So let's get the lowdown on Smackdown!
We start with Rey thanking everyone for support through out his vicious, tiring match with Kane. Rey spews that we all know who attacked Kane when Truthman himself Alberto Del Rio interrupts. He says it's an honor to meet Rey, and that while they're both from Mexico. But Del Rio is rich and that Rey is just a commoner. Rey rags on his nice clothes, and says just cause of his houses and nice things, that we don't have to respect him. That around here, he has to earn respect. Del Rio said if he can't earn respect, then he'll make us respect him. Rey says they aren't friends, and Del Rio call him a cockroach. Rey then challenges Del Rio to a match, Del Rio says he will when he's good and ready. Rey slapped Del Rio and then gave him a 619 for good measure.
OH OHHHHHHH YOU'RE ONLY SMOKE AND MIRRORS! And another grooming tip, where "Dashing" Cody eliminates all the ugly, wrinkled, and cracked skin of the WWE Universe!
Kofi Kingston beat Dolph Ziggler (Intercontinental Champion) w/"Emo" Vicky Guerrero vs "Mr. Identity Confused" in a singles match for the Intercontinental Championship via DQ: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Well at Summerfest about 9 minutes in to their match The Nexus came in a f**ked them up, so here's a rematch. Naturally. Lol, first Cole taking jabs at us and now Striker. Call the matches and I'll be the critic. You dumbass Striker. Shanghai, Georgia. What moron thinks Georgia when someone says Shanghai? *Rubs eyes* End match, Ziggler throws an armbar on Kofi. Kofi fights up with punches. He get's slung into the corner and Ziggler missed a splash. Kofi rolls him up for a long two. kofi then it's shots to the chest and dropkick, and a Thez press. Ziggler missed another splash in the corner and takes a boot. Kofi goes to the top and Vicky blatantly pushes him down in front of the ref and Kofi gets the DQ win.
Afterward Kofi tries to attack Ziggler but Vicky stopped him. Which allows an ambush from behind on the outside. Leading to a Zig Zag and a Sleeper Hold in the ring, on Kofi by Ziggler. Finally, at the urging of Vicky, he stomped the knocked out Kofi right in the throat.
Uh-oh! Real talk time with Team Lay-Cool. (I'm starting to love them btw) They liked how they looked on NXT (where McTakers boob popped out) or w/e, and they're sick of "Lady WaWa" Melina's crying. I am too, quit being a cry baby OVER EVERYTHING. And that whatever Teddy has planned is FLAW...less. F*** the little show ruiner is back, it was fun while his absence lasted.
Gallows is complaining in the back that Punk walked out on them. Serena said that beating the Big Show and Kelly Kelly, will earn his respect. To which Joey, brilliantly replied, "But you've never been in a match Serena!" Haha like we're supposed to expect that she's never ever wrestled a match before. CM Punk walks up and says he liked what the Nexus did Monday, and if Gallows and Serena lose, they're out of the Straight Edge Society.
Luke Gallows/Serena w/Joseph Mercury beat Big Show/Kelly in a mix tag team match via pinfall, If Gallows/Serena lose they're out of SES: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
My her hair looks nice tonight...Serena's not Kelly's. Kelly's looks like it has dried sperm in it. End match Kelly hits a sit down facebuster on Serena, which Gallows breaks up. Big show steamrolls Gallows and fights him on the outside. Meanwhile, in the ring Kelly goes for the K2, Serena counters and then hits her finisher, the gutbuster for the 1-2-3.
Rofl, I love the miscue with the track and Kane laughing about 5 seconds after the camera was put on him. He says of the Seven Deadly Sins, pride is his favorite. As it let Undertaker return to soon allowing Kane to drop him on his head. My favorites? Gluttony and sloth obviously. He goes a huge spiel, on how all his years Undertakers "powers" have been dwindling, and how he's jealous of him. I'm impressed that Kane memorizes all this s***, but damn it's boring as hell. Apparently, he's been hatching the plan of VENGEANCE for the last ten years and now the plans happened and Kanes in the spotlight, while Undertaker laying in the shadows. for the last 15 years he's waited to be called upon..The Devils Favorite (and most boring) Subject.
Christian beat "The Chosen One" Drew McIntyre in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
I still love Drew entrance. OH OH YOU'RE ONLY SMOKE AND MIRRORS! Outta nowhere "Dashing" Cody Rhodes comes out and joins us at commentary. "I smell dashing", amazing. cody isn't half bad on commentary either. End match, Christians arm has been focused on the whole time in case you've been sleeping. (Thanks for posting Vince McMahon) Christian hits a huge counter DDT, for a long two on Drew. Clothesline from Christian, and then he takes and beats on Drew in the corner. Christian hits a baseball slide and then a missile dropkick on Drew for yet another long two. Drew misses in the corner and takes a boot. But Drew ducks a flying elbow, and hits Christian's arm with a knee crasher. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Drew taks him into the corner. Drew carries Christian into the middle of the ring, but Christian counters into a crucifix for the pinfall.
After the match. "Dashing" and Drew beat on Christian. Matt Hardy comes out for the save, and even hits the Side Effect. But he's no match for the numbers game and Drew gives him the Future Shock DDT and gets Cross Rhodes from Cody.
Swagger, the first ever lisp champion, is complaining to Rosa. I'd be staring at her tit bouncing up and down TBH. MVP comes up, and says no one is doubting his credentials. Swagger makes a challenge. A match, if he wins, he hosts the VIP Lounge, and if MVP wins he throws a block party and Swagger has to pick up the tab. I wouldn't take that bet ever.
RAW Rebound, it was solid. Irony hits had Darren Young wrestles the best match out of all of them. Too bad it's against Cena, he loses and bombed from the group.
Teddy called Kane to see him. I think he needs some of Grisham's q-tips. Teddy informs him that his brother, The Undertaker is gonna be back next week. Kane says that it'll be hell on earth.
"Truthman" Alberto Del Rio beat Rey Mysterio in a singles match via submission: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
HE'S LIKE A SPANISH JBL! YES! WITH ORTON'S OLD GOLD WATERFALL!! He doesn't look bad in the early going to be honest, I like his smashmouth style. Not many are like that anymore. End match, Del Rio slams Rey's hand on the steel steps, stands on it for awhile, and then kicks it. He rolls him back in the ring for a two count. Rio misses a boot and takes a hit. He then hits an insiguri into the arm, he body slammed Rey and goes to the top rope and misses the senton. Rey's up first and kicks Rio, and finally a huge one for a long time two. Rey goes to the apron and hits the West Coast pop and a springboard crossbody for a long two. Rio rushed in and gets drop toe held into the second rope. Rio caught the 619, and the counters Rey off the second rope in the corner. Rey goes to the top and Rio knocked him down. Rio kicks Rey in the gut and takes him down with a legs corckscrew into the arm-bar! Rey tapped out to it, and Alberto Del Rio wins his debut match!
Smackdown Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
A lot of good on SD! this week, even with the in-ring action was short. But, short for Smackdown is 9 minute matches. Which were all fairly good. SES with Punk as their dictator now is nice, I expect Gallows to leave first. I'm really glad they're putting Serena in matches too, cause SD! (Really all the WWE) is bad in the divas category. Sorry, Eve, I love ya, but I need moar good women's action. I don't like Swagger being misused, have him cut a promo on how good he is and have him in matches each week. Kane's promo was, good but way overdone. But that how all his speeches are. I'm meh to it now. I like how the young guns in Drew/Rhodes are taking out the old vetrans in Hardy/Christan and this could be a nice little tag team feud. Finally hit the best part of the night, Alberto Del Rio. Honestly I wasn't expecting much, but they gave him main event with Rey and he ran with it. He's got good ring psychology, he looks comfortable, and has one helluva finisher. Kudos to a great debut from Albertoooooooooooooooo Del Rioooooo and great SD! to watch! More grooming tips please.
That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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