Thursday, April 22, 2010

10 Earth Day Tips: Follow Them or the Planet Will Implode

1. Don't waste stuff. Unless you have to pour some out for your homie.

2. Turn off the lights. I mean your comp screen gives off light and sets the mood for late night shenanigans.

3. Save gas. Don't fart cause it causes global warming. Oh yeah drive as little as possible, make everyone come to you.

4. Just be quiet. I mean your body decomposes, but I don't wanna have to dig a hole and deal with blood/dead body stench.

5. Plant a tree. Cause nothing says "Go Earth", like a tree you'll never see grow to be a full adult.

6. Don't litter. Unless it's paper, evidence, or fruit. Even cops litter all that stuff.

7. Burn your trash. Cause a filthy ozone layer is much better than horrible landfills.

8. Conserve water. Unless you wanna take a 15 minute hot shower, while someone is doing the dishes and a the washing machine is going. Cause doing it all at once saves time.

9. Eat good. Unless you pass a Domino's, Burger King and Sonic on the way home. That way you can get a burger, pizza, and shake in one trip. Sure you'll contribute to #3, but you'll be saving #3 too.

10. Recycle. Unless you wanna make a bottle fort, or make the trash people very angry.

There you have it, 10 tips on how to keep the earth happy. From Fat-Jesus' insane thoughts to your memory banks. Now go fart less, discard key evidence, and buy a burger, you'll help save the planet.

As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!

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