The Smackdown Lowdown 4/30/10

After Smackdown was pillaged by Raw in the WWE Draft, we have WWEs Friday night show. We have to build up the likes of MVP, Kofi and Cody, while keeping Big Show, Swagger, 'Taker and Christian at the top of the pile. Anywho taped from Hersey (mmm) Penn, lets start the Lowdown de Smackdown.

We start out with a video package showing how Edge, John Morrison, and R-Truth were drafted to Smackdown and how Edge speared Orton in his triple threat match to himself in the WWE Championship picture.

Kofi "Mr. Identity Confused" Kingston beat Chris Jericho in a singles match vis pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
ASK HIM @7:13 CDT! from Chris Jericho. I call him Mr. Identity Confused cause he has a Boston accent, Jamaican theme, and he billed from Africa. I know right? End match Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise and Y2J catches it and turns it into the Walls of Jericho. Kofi gets to the ropes though. Kofi hit a dropkick, and misses another Boom Drop. But then Jericho hits a Codebreaker OUTTA NOWHERE and fall outside of the ring. After Y2J throws him back in he covers him for a two. Jericho works over, and mocks Kingston. Jericho then gets a head of steam and takes the Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall. Good match, hope we see more of these two...oh wait.

Random Fact night with "The Lisp champion" Jack Swagger starts with Fact #1. After the 2002 Rose Bowl, he was invited to the White House to meet the great American President ever, George W. Bush.

Jericho gets killed by Big Show. Or KNOCKED THE F*** OUT! I get them confused at times.

We have Chavo in the ring and heeees back. Now him and his Aunt Vickie are back and they're like this. He then says to clap for him. Kane's set off word must be "clap" cause he storms to the ring and get's choke-slammed. Kane then said, just after my dad did, "Welcome back Chavo."

It's Shad's tyme. With a Y. The Y makes this heel turn work. Look what it did for Triple H back in the day.

Cody "Mr. Lisp #2" Rhodes beat John Morrison in a singles match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I'm debating calling Rhodes "Chicken Legs" too. But solid match so far, that drop toe-hold and him floating over into the side headlock was quite nice. Cody hits a back kick off the steel steps on the outside to Morrison takes us to commercial. Oh snap, what a freaking nice moonsault from Rhodes during a very nice match! End match, Morrison hits his Pele-Kick and Rhodes slump over on the ropes. As Morrison goes for a move Rhodes counters it and hits Cross Rhodes for the 1-2-3. Very, very nice match that I hope we see again soon...dammit I did it again. I also like both guys using a combination of Triple H, John Cena, and even Hardcore Holly moves. Awesome.

Random Fact Night with "The Lisp Champion" Jack Swagger continues with Fact #2! Apparently he led his wrestling team in Oklahoma to 3 National Championships. Neato.

Cue Fridays Rated-R superstar who is sadly taking his profane image and "Spear" chants back to Monday Night Raw. Edge says he got drafted to Raw, and honestly he doesn't wanna go. So he wanted to come out and say a proper goodbye to Smackdown and that he loves us all. Cue Christian and I got a little shiver down my spine. I'm giddy right now as Christan walks to the ring. He says that E&C and Edge and Christian had a great run, and he goes through their life of growing up with each other. Christian then says he knows Edge better than he does himself and that what he just said was full of s***. He says that he used the fans, and possibly that he even used him to get to the top. Edge says all that true and then tells us he's a 9 time World Champ and that he made us dance with the "spear" chants like puppets. Christian says that he has been world champ (in WWE) yet, and he'll do it his way without stepping of people heads. He also says he's been asked since he came back, when will E&C get back together. Christian doesn't want Edge and Christian anymore though. He wants Edge versus Christian right now. Edge fakes leaving hit him from behind and give him the Big Boot. Edge sets Christian up for the spear but Christian gets hit boot and a gives him a double leg take down and they brawl on the mat. Edge bails and Christan has a new chant, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, Goodbye!"

We come back from commercial and Big Show kills Edge in the back.

Beth Phoinex (Womens Champion)/Kelly Kelly beat Michelle McCool/Layla in a divas tag team match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Kelly Kelly is the definition of charisma is it her first match. She ok, but she like not ready yet. Vickie thought she saw a box of Twinkies on the apron and took KK out on the outside mid match. Haha. End match, Beth hits a slingshot suplex on Layla and tags Kelly in so she could hit her step-up leg drop for the win.

Random Fact Night with "The Lisp Champion" Jack Swagger continues with Fact #3. When he was a junior in high school he turned down offers from the University of Miami, Univeristy of Texas, Stanford and USC. Riveting.

Smackdown as been Tittyfied by Chris Masters, amazing.

Dolf Ziggler comes out and cuts a promo saying taking out Hornswoggle with the sleeper on Monday. I say it's the best moment in DZ's career so far too.

We see a video of Matt Hardy aka "The Lone Jobberwalike" getting his head smashed into the steel steps last week and him not being able to continue the match. Cut to the back where Matt has an interview with Josh "Goofy Smile" Matthews where is says he come back like he always does. Drew, The Chosen One, takes out Hardy. And as the refs who have no power but in the ring implore him not to, McIntyre killed Matt Hardy in the back. There sure is a lot of death tonight.

JTG is Mr. Young Fresh, Fly, Funky, and whatever else asks where he's gonna go now Smackdown. I say mid-card if he's lucky or more likely jobberdom.

Finally CM Punk, Serena, Luke Gallows have come out to save our minds and bodies from the evils of this world. MVP comes out and talks all the way down to the ring about how Punks talking is bad. I don't get it either. They brawl and Rey comes out to save the day. And Gallows saves Punk from MVP and Rey. As we got to commercial we see a nice Serea cleavage shot. FJ wants more of these.

Rey Mysterio/MVP "The Kool-Aid Packet" vs CM Punk/Luke Gallows w/"Ms. Cleavage" in a tag team match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Decent match a MVP branched out from poppa Kool-Aid. End match MVP hits the Ballin' Elbow in Gallows which is broken up my Punk. Punk the takes a West Coast Pop (My Lord, someone remembered the name of that move). MVP throws Punk into the ropes behind the refs back and Rey hits the 619 while MVP hits a very familiar looking move on Gallows for the win in the tag team match. Afterward The Hooded Justice (Joey Mercury) and takes out Rey.

Random Fact night with "The Lisp champion" Jack Swagger continues with fact #4! He graduated University Oklahoma with a perfect 4.0 (Nope it was a 3.0+) and was invited back there to give the 2010 Commencement Speech. Amazing insight.

Swagger wants to come out and give a live Q&A but the crowd isn't having any of it and we can barely hear it. At two his dad told him he'd be a world champ. By 5 he was tall as s***, by 12 his balls has dropped, by 18 he was still a virgin going into college, by 20 he graduated (somehow) at the top of his class, and then at 24 (I really don't remember), and his daddy told him in the back, apparently, he told him so. Anywho Teddy comes out and informs us that Big Show is the No.1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Big Show asks what the doctor said the day he was born, it was "Holy crap look at the size of him!" (I lol'd hard) The then listed off Swagger accomplishments before killing Jack Swagger in the ring. Lets count the deaths tonight. Chris Jericho, Edge, and Jack Swagger via Big Show KNOCK THE F*** OUT punch. And Matt Hardy via Future Shock DDT by Drew McIntyre. Let's all mourn for a second.

Smackdown: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars (Unofficial FJ Rating)

I really like this promo heavy Raw. Big Show killed three people. McIntyre killed one. We had a E&C promo, where a feud was teased. We also has a great match between Morrison and Cody, and two ok matches between Kofi/Jericho and Rey/MVP and SES. The Womens tag match was alright too. Also I really loved the Jack Swagger Facts and the end promo where he got massive heel heat just for them. Anywho I like the show and we'll see how they proceed with out Edge, Morrison, and Jericho on the show next week.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!