Big Boi- Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty [A Fat Jesus Album Review]

Sorry I've been mia the last three weeks pro wrestling wise, but I just haven't wanted to blog any of the shows. I should be back with some retro Smackdown posts from 4 and 3 weeks ago in the next couple of days. Until then, here's my small run-down on my favorite and probably the best 2010 release so far. So here's my review of Big Boi's (shame if you don't know he was in Outkast) first solo album, Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty. Enjoy!

Omg southern hip-hop is finally futuristic sounding and Big Boi is at the helm of it all! The beats throughout the whole album are club oriented yet have the space-vibe resonating from them. Had it not been for the lacking, but still good, "Fo Yo Sorrows", and "Royal Flush"/"Lookin' For Ya" not being on the album it'd be a perfect rating. All the guest verses and choruses are good and don't feel like they didn't try just cause it's not their own stuff. Janelle Monae, B.o.B and Jamie Foxx had great hooks, and Yelawolf and TI had pretty great verses. IDK what the skits were about but I rotfl when Sir Left Foot called Kesha, and he said:

Sir Left Foot: "For $30 you gonna do what the f*** I want to, Imma fill up your tank and make it rain"
Kesha: "$30? It was $50. How it go down to $30?"
Sir Left Foot: "Well ok it's goin' be drizzlin' it ain't gonna rain, f*** it"
Kesha: "N***a that ain't precipitation nun-unh"

I do wanna single out "Night Night" with B.o.B and Joi. Cause B.o.B is huge right now and his hook is done well and Big Boi's flow and lyrics are absolutely insane. Speaking of Big Boi, I should probably talk about him some cause it's his album. He was on point! He's not the best rapper ever, but his flows were good throughout, the lyrics were deep when they need to be, good punchlines, and great delivery, etc, etc.

The first southern, futuristic, hip-hop album (I'm going to go ahead and say) ever. In short it was fun listen, great beats, good rapping, good hooks, and this is probably the best release in 2010 I've heard so far.



Rating: 9/10 or 4.5/5 Stars

Fat Jesus' Thoughts on WWE Fatal Four Way 2010

It was actually pretty solid wrestling throughout the whole night.

Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) beat Drew McIntyre in a singles match for the Intercontinental Championship via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
It was an alright way to get the crowd going and has a lot of good back and forth action. Not perfect, but Drew steadily getting better in-ring.
My prediction: Kofi Kingston (Right)

Alicia Fox beat Eve Torres-Day (Divas Champion)/Gail Kim/Maryse in a Fatal Four Way match for the Divas Championship via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Probably the best divas match we've seen since Mickie got canned and Beth hurt her knee. Good spots and working from all the divas. Eve looked great throughout and I still don't get why they switched the belt.
My prediction: Eve Torres (Wrong)
My dark horse: Gail Kim (Wrong)

Evan Bourne beat Chris Jericho in a singles match via pinfall: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars
Jericho cut a promo that said he's kept the people 25 years and old watching and started getting all the kids 25 years and younger into the biz. And then put on a, probably in my top ten matches of the year, match with Evan Bourne. Putting him over clean! The best worker and superstar on WWEs roster. Do you understand the words that I am saying to you right now?
My prediction: Evan Bourne (Right)

Rey Mysterio best Jack Swagger (World Heavyweight Champion)/Big Show/CM Punk in a Fatal Four Way match for the World Heavyweight Championship vis pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Reys good in ring still, who cares if he didn't give up the ICC once to a former cheerleader, we get more Swagger/Rey matches. I also hope they book him better this time around. The match also showed Big Show can get fired up. Joy a Punk and Kane feud comes out of this match too. The best SD talker and the Big Red Jobber are gonna clash, hope everyones ready -_-
My prediction: Jack Swagger (Wrong)
My dark horse: El Luchador de Savior (Wrong)

The Miz (United States Champion) best R-"Mr. Narcissistic"-Truth in a singles match for the United States Championship via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
First of The Miz mocking R-Truths stupid rap, and even forgetting his lines made my day. Then even with the dead crow, they did just see Kane/Punk start (-_-), the put on a match. I called Truth losing after trying his usual 5 moves of doom, but he lost clean of a counter to a counter. WWE really likes Miz right now.
My prediction: The Miz (Right)

The Hart Dynasty w/Natalya's Boobs beat The Usos w/Tamkea in a 6-person mixed tag team match via pinfall: 5/20 or 2.5/5 Stars
The Usos, upon first viewing, are pretty good in ring and it was a standard tag match. My God I know in the WWE. They worked over Tyson and I'm still amazed at that Samoan Drop Jimmy Uso did to Tyson into the barricade, it was pretty. Also Nattie, WWEs best kept secret got to work and win a match. Fine by me shes good in ring like the rest of the Harts. Put a title on her.
My prediction for a non title match: The Usos w/Tameka (Wrong)

Sheamus beat John Cena (WWE Champion)/Edge/Randy Orton in a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Championship via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Standard FFW match up until 9:30 when my stream cut out. After the NXT'ers took out Evan Bourne and The Hart Dynasty in the back they stormed the ring. Sheamus pinned Cena amidst all the chaos and won the WWE Championship and creeping out through the crowd. Then the NXT'ers beat down everything, like on Raw two weeks ago, but left the ring alone. The PPV ended at 9:35 due to it.
My prediction: John Cena (Wrong)
My dark horse: Sheamus (Right)

WWE Fartal Four Way 2010 rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars

I went 3-3-1 if you're keeping score :p The only bad parts were Kane, God why does WWE still interject him into the title picture, when he'll never win it again, and the fact it ended 25 minutes early. I mean I didn't buy it, but it seemed annoying haha. But overall it was a solid PPV that I really enjoyed. Imma download it when it finally hits Pirate Bay so I can re-watch some of it with out skips/lag haha.

That's it for my Fatal Four Way picks. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://www.twitter.com/matthewmday

I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!

WWE Fatal Four Way 2010 Picks

It's almost time for the new WWE PPV, f*** me it's a concept, called Fatal Four Way! Where the obvious thing is that all the people in fatal four way matches will only have 25% chance of winning. Thanks WWE, I would've never gotten it without you. I don't know what city it's in (my Lord this is the same closing sentence as last time :O), hopefully R-Truth will remind me. But it should be a pretty meh show. Here's all of Fat Jesus' predictions.

WWE Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
[John Cena vs Randy Orton vs Sheamus vs Edge]
Prediction: John Cena
Dark Horse: Sheamus
Why John Cena you ask? Cause he's won clean the last three PPVs and I'm sure WWE wants Cena a champ for a little longer before going into Summerslam (or is it still Summerfest?) mode. I picked a dark horse for each of the FFW matches cause it's like picking the Royal Rumble winner, there's always gonna be the favorite and the surprise. I picked Sheamus, cause well, I'm pretty sure (like I said before Over the Limit) that the Edge/Orton fued is gonna go 'till Money in the Bank or possibly till Summerslam. I don't discount Sheamus cause they need a heel to feud with Cena, at least until Wade Barret get's his title shot (idgaf what Bret did either haha).

World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
[Jack Swagger vs El Luchador de Savoir vs Big Show vs Rey Mysterio]
Prediction: Jack Swagger
Dark Horse: El Luchador de Savoir
Obviously I want the champ to retain here. Cause Swagger has been gold on the mic/in-ring ever since he got the title a run till at least MitB or SS would do him well. Plus he's got the chops to do it, not like Sheamus' first run back after TLC. *Shivers* I don't see Big Show winning cause if they we're gonna put the title on him, they would've at OTL, he was just a big guy to prove Jack can hold his own. Don't expect Rey to win, cause before Undertaker was put in a vegetative state (THERE WILL BE VENGEANCE!) he was gonna take a month off. I'm sure that month off is gonna start after tonights PPV now. I'd wouldn't mind seeing Punk win. Even in losing to Rey (at OLT) he still get's great heel heat, he puts on great matches, and I think the whole him wearing a mask now is a great way to keep the Rey/Punk feud going, even if Reys on leave.

Intercontinental Chamionship Match
[Kofi Kingston vs Drew McIntyre]
Prediction: Kofi Kingston
Kofi just got the title a couple of weeks ago and I think he'l keep it the rest of the summer. Even though I (and a lot of other onliners) love Drew, the people in back aren't to fond of him and I think he still needs improving in-ring and in matches. I like The Chosen One gimmick me and having McMahon behind him as well. But Kofi is a crowd favorite and great in-ring. Don't expect more than 10 minutes though, but these two can still put on a good match.

United States Championship
[R-Truth vs The Miz]
Prediction: The Miz
Miz is the best heel on the mic right now on Raw (cause WWE is pissed at Jericho for hosting that ABC show, and Batista left WWE). And he just got the title back in ironic fatal four way match on Raw. I think he'll retain, he's good in-ring, great n the mic, and everyone wants him to lose. I want Mr. Narcissistic himself, R-Truth, to lose. Remeber that good match he had with Jeircho two weeks back? I doubt we'll see that again. He'll do his terrible rap down to the ring, yell "What's up", during the match hit his hip-toss, miss a scissors kick, and then do his cartwheel > splits > back heel kick combo and then miss The Lie Detector and lose. Calling it now.

Tag Team Match (Not Sure if it's title or not yet)
[The Hart Dynasty w/Natalya's Boobs vs The Usos]
Prediction (If it's a title match): The Hart Dynasty
Prediction (If it's a non-title match): The Usos
I'm not a fan of the Usos yet. They're brawls with THD have been good, but they're absolutely terrible on the mic and I don't get why people are behind them. Maybe it's cause WWE is trying to push tag teams. I'm fine with that, get them in a talking class first haha. Granted this will be the first match I see them in, I really hope they impress me. I love Natalya's boobs, and the rest of the gang and they've always put on good matches. Predctions are above, they don't take the belts off THD if it is a title match, but I can see The Usos winning if it's just a normal tag match.

Divas Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
[Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Maryse, Alicia Fox]
Prediction: Eve Torres-Day
Dark Horse: Gail Kim
Finally Gail Kim in a title match coming back into the WWE, and she's my dark horse to win cause she's great in-ring. I actually like all these divas in-ring. Alcicia Fox is pretty good, but I think she needs more credibility and it seems like she was just thrown in here. (God this would be amazing if Melina were back and replace Fox.) Anywho, Eve's had the title for a month now and they haven't really done anything with it. Before that Maryse had it for awhile and did nothing with that. I don't see the title changing hands unless it's to Gail Kim to keep a face holding the title. As much a I love Maryse's "Should Be Illegal Ring Attire in PG-WWE", I like my girl Eve more to retain, or to lose it to the underused wonder, in Gail Kim.

That's it for my Fatal Four Way picks. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://www.twitter.com/matthewmday

I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!

Pokemon Red Version Walkthrough! Parts 6-10

So I like Pokemon, who doesn't. We've all been playing the games for like 50 years now, so last year I decided to do a walkthrough when I played through my Red version. It got really popular over on RateYourMusic.com and I thought I'd post it over here in my blog. It's got quite a lot of cursing, crudeness, and just all around foulness, yet it's funny as hell if I do say so myself. So anywho, here's parts 6-10.

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Rock Tunnel

Charmeleon, Lvl26
Clefairy, Lvl23
Pikachu, Lvl23
Butterfree, Lvl21
Nidorino, Lvl21
Kadabra, Lvl21

On Hold, teaching it Fly when the time comes.
Pidgeotto, Lvl21

Ahh, the Rock Tunnel, the old nickname of my penis and the pitch blackness that any pedophile or rapist would dream of doing their thing in. Well as I fell around the damn walls all the super humn f***s challenge me cause they can see in the dark, that or they sold their should to the devil for nightvison eyes. Dumb f***s could have sold it for unlimited powers and used the power to take over the f***ing world, get rich and have night vision. D***-s***s. Any amidst the hiker and their dumb-a** suicidal Gravlers and Geodudes, and those f***ing smart a** nerd with their Slowpokes and Cubes I blow through them like that same nerd entering a woman's vagina for the first time. Oh yeah did I mention that those god forsaken Zubats are back, I pull out my sawed off shot-gun I "claimed" at the Pokemon center and blew off a few of their head and used them as torch-tops to light my way through the rest of the cave. And as I emerge from the tunnel I see a policeman fly by me chasing after a pedophile and thought to myself, "See I knew it was a haven for little boy and girl lovers."

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Game Corner Basement, Team Rocket (In Celadon City)

Charmeleon, Lvl28
Kadabra, Lvl27
Clefairy, Lvl25
Pikachu, Lvl25
Butterfree, Lvl24
Nidorino, Lvl24

Ah gambling, we're always guaranteed to win, but never in excess or to make back what we wasted away. Damn those Indians and their reservations, what the f*** did we ever do to those feather wearing tan bastards? Nothing I tell you and as I walk around picking up coins off the floor and swiping them from old peoples cup I notice a Team Rocket F*** in front of a Celine Dion poster so I decide to f*** with him on his musical tastes. After verbally raping him he runs off and I rip the poster in half to find a secret switch. Not even in a safe or locked by a key pad. Dumb-f***-nuts. So I walk downstairs and kick rocket a**, all while that b***h Celine Dion is playing over the speakers F***ing A** C***s! Then I get to pads that make me spin worse than a f***ed up merry-go-round, just to get an elevator key to take me down to the bottom floor. F*** modern spinning technology. I finally get to the bottom floor and meet the menacing Giovannia aka The Situation. Yeah he's that same douche-f*** from The Veal World. So I beat his a** very easily, no homo, get the Silph Scope so I can f*** up some ghosts when I hit Lavender town for Gothic prostitutes and to visit the Pokemon Tower where the f***-tard who can't keep their Pokemon alive bury them.

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Gym 4: Erika (In Celadon City)

Charmeleon, Lvl31
Kadabra, Lvl28
Clefairy, Lvl26
Pikachu, Lvl25
Nidorino, Lvl24

Butterfree, Lvl24
Pidgeotto, Lvl21

As I walk up the the gym, in which I have to use Cut to get to, f***ing c***, I see an old man peeping in at the all girls in the gym. As I think "WTF?" I notice a little blue pill in his hands and think to myself some more, "Holy f***, he's going to rape the little girls in the gym. Better hurry as not to be accused of being and accomplice." So I stroll in and kick some b***h a** cause I f***ing have a Charmeleon, dumb whores thinking they can beat me, I laugh in their faces! Finally after I utterly destroy and burn every little underling trainer I set my sights on the "Hot Hippie I'd Like To F***" Gym Leader Ericka! I placed a little a wager with her tired a** before the battle. It said that if I win I get the TM/Badge as normal, but I also get to video tape us having sex so I can sell it online. If she wins I have to deliver a 18-wheeler load of weed to Vermillion City. So the battle starts and I let Charmeleon make a warm salad out of her three s***ty grass Pokemon as I unzip my pants and pull out my camcorder. This will be the best gym ever as I f***ed Erika for 15 minutes, got it on tape, and got the TM and badge. I told her I'd call her, but it's never gonna happen. Aren't I just the worst?

As I leave to head back to Gothicville aka Lavander Town I tell the old man, "All yours", and the horny old freak rushed the gym. I'll be hearing about this soon enough.

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Pokemon Tower, Team Rocket (In Lavender Town)

As the good old ghost filled, Saw-like, Amityville Poketower. My Lord it's filled with nut witches and year round trick or treaters. It's a Medium or pedophiles dream tower. Anywho (already has the Silph Scope) I encounter Ghastlys, Haunters and the occasional Cubebones and tear through them all as always. I also go Sam Rami on all the f***ing trainer asses, and even Gary, who came out from behind a Tombstone with one of the male trainers. I kicked his a**, and even his tiny boner stayed at attention...granted it was a quick battle. I continue to the top, I help a Marowack to the after life (+1 Jesus Point) and then save an old man from the dreaded, I use the term loosely, Team Rocket, as I f*** all their s****y teams up. I put the old man on his Rascal, and help him back to his house. He gave me a Pokeflute, now I can move to fat f***ing Snorlaxes outta my way, and relax all my sexual partners before the deed. Did I just say that?

Charmeleon, Lvl32
Kadabra, Lvl29
Clefairy, Lvl26
Pikachu, Lvl26
Nidorino, Lvl26
Pidgeotto, Lvl25

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Fighting Dojo (In Saffron City)

Charmeleon, Lvl33
Kadabra, Lvl30
Clefairy, Lvl26
Pikachu, Lvl26
Nidorino, Lvl26
Pidgeotto, Lvl25

Dear Lord it's like Ralph Machio and Jackie Chan projectile vomited onto the inside of this half-a**ed excuse for a gym. And since they're not giving out badges, shouldn't the Pokemon League take legal action for trying to convince me this is a real gym? Whatever the matter, me leading with Kadbra was more than enough to mind-f*** everyone in the gym and their steroid riddled husbands and adopted babies at home. Then the leader, who is f***ing terrible, gives me the run around and says I can only take one Pokemon? Of course I'm choosing Hitmonlee. Cause Bruce Lee > Jackie Chan any day of the week. Especially with terrible blockbusters like The Spy Next Door being bombarded as a rip roaring good time by some no name film critic from Nebraska. It's not a "rip roaring good time", it's a "make me wanna rip my a**hole open and pull out my colon" s***ty time. Thanks for making me relive The Forbidden Kingdom and Shanghai Knights you f***ers. Time to go kick a** at a real gym.

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Well there's parts 6-10, I hope you all enjoyed the funny, terrible, foul things I had to say. There's another whopping 13 parts in this horrible journey, so stay tuned for more of me cursing too much cause I can.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook. Cause the more friends/followers I get the bigger my e-penis grows.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://www.twitter.com/matthewmday

I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples

Pokemon Red Version Walkthrough! Parts 1-5

So I like Pokemon, who doesn't. We've all been playing the games for like 50 years now, so last year I decided to do a walkthrough when I played through my Red version. It got really popular over on RateYourMusic.com and I thought I'd post it over here in my blog. It's got quite a lot of cursing, crudeness, and just all around foulness, yet's it's funny as hell if I do say so myself. So anywho, here's parts 1-5.

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Gym 1: Brock (In Pewter City)

Charmander, Lvl13
Pidgey, Lvl13
Nidoran (Male), Lvl12
Metapod, Lvl7
Kakuna, Lvl6
Pikachu, Lvl3

So I say f*** writing about my home town so I'll start here. I was glad to get out of that s***-hole and on my way. Anywho I picked Charmander cause the other two are clearly b***h Pokemon. Beat my f'ing rival Gary and stormed to Viridan city where I become a delivery boy. Oh well the old man gave me an iPod PokeDex app for free so cool. Nothing to do in Viridan, but have an old man teach me how to catch a Pokemon, old f***-nuts. Killed Gary again, swiftly and quietly with my wrath. Still raging I f'ing tear down everyone in the Forest and catch a damn Pikachu, can't wait to f*** Misty in her ass with him. Finally I get to Pewter City and destroy Brock. Yeah with a Pidgey and Charmander..lol he's a joke.

Off to Mt. Moon next, I hate climbing and the inevitable rabies shots I'll have to get due to Zubat bites.

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Mt. Moon, Team Rocket

Charmeleon, Lvl16
Pidgey, Lvl14
Pikachu, Lvl14
Nidoran (Male), Lvl13
Metapod, Lvl9
Jigglypuff, Lvl5

Why the hell do they build so many damn roads through mountains, and multiple levels through caves and s***. Holy hell a channel around Seafoam would make the builder a fortune, especially with a $1 toll to go through, or a road over the mountain instead of through it where I hear at least 50 works have died due to f***ing collapses. Anywho, f*** this cave and all the damn Zubats that Leech Life my Pokemon. Good thing Pikachu take out those little s***-f***s without batting an eyelash and the hot chicks I copped a feel from near the entrance. Yeah their real. ;)

So this is the first big Team Rocket meeting, and they were all sucking each other off till I walked in. Then they're on high alert all of the sudden cause of fossils? WTF? I can go to a creek bed and find better fossils than the ones Team "Red" Rocket were after. Anywho Charmeleon took out the Ratatatatatatata-s*** I can't stop, and Raticates, while my whole team ripped the nerdy selfish-f*** a new a**-hole. Then I leave, I hate f***ing caves.

Off to get my camera phone ready for Misty. I hear during battles, her tits pop out of her bikini top sometimes. I'm so masturbating to those pics the rest of my trip.

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Gym 2: Misty (In Cerulean City)

Charmeleon, Lvl18
Pikachu, Lvl18
Butterfree, Lvl18
Nidorino, Lvl16
Pidgey, Lvl14
Clefairy, Lvl9

Mt. Moon and Team Rocket grunt-f***s are behind me. So I enter Cerulean City. The home of the Denver Nugget Bridge, a Harley-Davidson bike shop, Bill Gates, and hot Pokemon battles in skimpy bikini's filmed by Joe Francis. Anywho, I go kick the wannabe's a**es on nugget bridge and claim my $5000 for the hunk of gold awesome-ness. Then I go see Bill who-HOLY F***, HE'S A DAMN RYHORN! I help he get out of his predicament by pushing a button, yeah I'm the man. I return he gives a cruise ticket. F*** yeah! *plays "I'm On A Boat"*

Now that my Pokemon are nice and strong I got to meet Misty and Joe at the gy-err..umm..renamed to Ultimate Bikini Sex Gym. Anywho amidst Joe yelling at Pikachu to hit Misty's bikini with the thundershock, and Misty using X Attacks on the Patrick Star Bros. I beat her and hum, "do dodododo dodo do" as I take the bag and pay for my GGW subscription.

Now off to party with some b****es on a party cruise!

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SS Anne

Charmeleon, Lvl21
Pikachu, Lvl21
Butterfree, Lvl19
Nidorino, Lvl18
Pidgeotto, Lvl18
Clefairy, Lvl18

I finally make it to the ship, and yelled "PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" as I boarded. Needless to say I was prepared for any woman with my 25-pack of condoms holstered to my belt alongside my Pokeballs. As I barg from room to room I find people don't like it when you bust into the rooms without knocking. Also the hot girls don't like it when you assume they want to give you a BJ after each victory. Anywho I beat the hell outta everyone on the boat who owned a Pokemon. Then out strolls Gary from the captains room, so I make a homosexual joke and then beat his a**. Upon walking in to see the captain I see he's puking and crying on the floor. "Holy Gay Pride Parade on a stick, they really did DO it!" As I rub the captains back I swipe the HM and tell him it'll all be ok. It won't, last I heard Gary had raging episodes of herpies.

Then I get off the ship to smoke a cig, and the f***er leaves. Whata a gip! I'm going to get a refund of Bills ticket price and keep the money. HAHAHAHA!

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Gym 3: Lt. Surge (In Vermilion City)

Charmeleon, Lvl23
Pikachu, Lvl21
Butterfree, Lvl19
Clefairy, Lvl19
Nidorino, Lvl18
Pidgeotto, Lvl18

So I go arm my Oddish, you know that little weed-like piece of f*** Pokemon, hahaha, with Cut so I can go demolish and give the gym a power surge. See what I did thar? Anywho, this f***-tard has me digging through his garbage littered with tampons, condom wrappers, Burger King bags, and body parts. That's right, I didn't know I was holding a finger till I saw bone and a ring. S*** was nasty. Not to mention on the speaker playing in the gym was s***. I mean it was Lt. Surge talking about his old war days in Vietnam or some f***ed up post-pardom s*** like that. So I finally find both switches under a used Trojan and then under a prostitute's receipt. So I walk in and he asks me if I've known any Koreans. I said no. In response he said if I had, he would've shot me. Dude is f***in' looney. And not the good Bugs Bunny looney either.

Moving on I beat his a** fairly easily. Actually all I did was bring out Charmeleon and as I did a car backfired outside, and he threw the badge at me, and told me to get the f*** outta there cause Kim Jong Eil was finally striking back.

I look on my map as I walk out...f*** me, another goddamn tunnel is next.

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Well there's parts 1-5, I hope you all enjoyed the funny, terrible, foul things I had to say. There's another whopping 18 parts in this horrible journey, so stay tuned for more of me cursing too much cause I can.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook. Cause the more friends/followers I get the bigger my e-penis grows.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://www.twitter.com/matthewmday

I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples

The A-Team [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

So I went to see a midnight showing of A-Team last week with a couple of friends. In short, it was a nice blend of action, comedy, action, explosions, action, "Fools", action, Jessica Biel, action, and did I mention explosions? Luckily I like you few readers enough to go into detail and do full a review of it. Ba da da, ba da na, ba na na da da, da da da da da.

We start out in good old Mexico where thugs have John "Hannibal" Smith (Liam Neeson) captured and handcuffed to a chair. They try to kill him with his own gun but the trigger pin is gone. The Mexicans leave and Hannibal uses said trigger pin to get out of the handcuffs and then escape from the dogs. Cut to Templeton "Faceman" Peck, who's also in Mexico. He captured by the same gangs leader for sleeping with his wife. He is tied up with tires and about to be hung. Cue a car chase scene ending in a sketchy auto shop, we're still in Mexico if you haven't figured it out. Out comes B.A. Baracus, and he wants his baby. The people don't comply so he obliterates them all and gets his GMC Vandura. Hannibal meets up with B.A. and shoots him then convinces him to help him save a friend who's gonna die without his help. They haul ass to the site where Face is and destroy everything, and saved Face/the girl and heading back to an army hospital with the Mexican Gang behind. Here is where they meet up with the insane pilot H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdoch. Hannibal takes HM with him and they have to run in a medical helicopter from the same bandits from before. This is where B.A. almost falls out of the 'copter and now has a permanent fear of flying. The aerial dogfight rages with H.M. expertly maneuvering around everything fired at him until they finally fly into US air space where the enemy helicopter is destroyed. Now I've pretty much outlined the first 20 or so minutes of the movie. Now think all of that times ten for another hour and forty minutes. The rest of the movies premise is based around The A-Team trying to get back printing plates for US $100 bills that were stolen, but never need to be gotten back till present day. DCIS Capitan Charisa Sosa (Jessica Biel), former lover of Face, thinks that The A-Team is secretly behind all of this. While Hannibal thinks that a rival troop in the Army (Black Forrest) which is led by the evil mastermind Brock Pike (Brian Bloom) and Agent Lynch (John Hamm), is behind it with help from the another of CIAs Agent Lynch's.

Lemmie start off by saying this is a fun movie. You can't go in and expect logic and reality to help you understand the crazy s*** they pull off in this movie. We'll start with the acting which was great all around by everybody. Liam Neeson played Hannibal great. He's older and had big action roles before, so transitioning into the leader of the A-Team seemed flawless. Bradly Cooper cast as Face was a wise choice. I can't think of anyone better to have played the wise-assed ladies man more, than the woman approved Hangover veteran. Probably the most surprised I was in the movie was the acting that UFC's Quinton "Rampage" Jackson pulled off at B.A. I mean the dude was great in the hand-to-hand combat scenes, his comedic timing when he did jokes were great and even when B.A. accepted in prison to do no violence any more, the serious came over well on screen. Finally we have Sharlito Copley as the bat crazy H.M. Murdoch was spot on. When he need to be in pilot mode he did well on screen, but his comedic timing and the physical comedy he did were genuinely hilarious. Not to mention the scene where he was in the mental hospital and they broke him out using a movie and 3-D glasses was amazing! I'll touch on Jessica Beil as the hard ass captain, cause she did well in her role, and it's probably been my favorite things she's done. It was believe able that her and Face got together and it her as a leader in the military came across as something she can play well. Also the bickering between John Ham and Brian Bloom as the bad guys was like two evil geniuses trying to live in the same house and added a more realism that even though both bad guys are on the same side, they'll kill each other if need be.

Overall it was a little long at 2 hours, but hey! A good action movie in 2010 based of an old 80s TV series? Whoda thunk it? Rotten Tomatoes has it at a 52% (but the community has it at a GREAT 88%) and Metacritic has it at about 48%. I agree with the community on this one rather than the nasty ol' critics. The movie had good action, good comedy, insane action, a decent plot and was a fun wild ride the whole time. my parting words for this review are a follows, "I love it when a plan comes together!"

Rating for The A-Team: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars



BTW, this is Channing. She let me use her very pretty face and two thumbs up for all the good stuff in the reviews I do in my blog. Be nice and I'll post her in a bikini in my next review.

Layin' Down the Raw 6/14/10

Well coming off the heels of the NXT Invasions beginning and the questions about if Daniel Bryan really got fired or not, this could be a great Raw storyline-wise heading into Fatal Four Way this Sunday. Anywho it's time to lay down the Raw from Charlotte, North Carolina!.

We open with the NXT rookies destroying everything last week on Raw and Wade "The Botanist" Barret in-ring. I wanna know whats going on and I have a feeling he's gonna tell us. He's gonna tell us what happened, and he invites all rookies (But Daniel Bryan) to the ring. King and Cole pussy out and run cause they're uncomfortable. Barret asks Heath to apologize, he doesn't. Gabriel doesn't either. Neither does Skip "To My Lou" Sheffield, Tarver, Young, or Otunga. Otunga's not the last one, and WWE thinks we're all just plain stupid. Wade says they were treated like animals and then turned into animals. They complained about NXT, the challenges, and WWE Management all of season 1 of NXT. Bret Harts music hits. He calls them all cowards for doing what they did last week. Wade said Daniel Bryan showed remorse and will never been seen again. (Does a pretty good job of explaining the firing) It'll do for now. Hart says that John Cena will still be at the PPV. Wade says it's not about the WWE Universe or anyone in the back. They all want WWE contracts, private dressing rooms and 1st class tickets around the globe. Bret Hart refuses the offer and says that Wades not the next breakout superstar of the WWF, and that Wade is fired. :O We go to commercial with the NXT rookies not leaving per orders of Hart.

I hate face King and Cole is still a douchebag.

The Miz beat R-"Mr. Narcissistic"-Truth (United States Champion)/John Morrison/Zack Ryder in a Fatal Four Match for the United States Championship vis pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Wow this could be a great match full of young talent if they gave them 15 mintes. Sadly it'll get like 5-6. -_- We go to commercial with JoMo sunset flipping into powerbombing The Miz off the apron onto Zack Ryder. F*** YEAH! Nice Superplex, powerbomb onto the Miz involving everyone haha. End match Ryder hits the Rough Rider and gets a two due to Morrisons running knee. Morrison then hits Starship Pain and Miz throws him outta the ring and pins R-Truth for the win and we have a new United States Champion!

Randy Orton is in the back with good old Goofy Smile aka Josh Matthews and he asked him what he thought about the invasion last week and the firings earlier. Orton says he's torn both ways about all of it and probably something about winning at Fatal Four Way come this Sunday.

The Royal Pains dude is hosting Raw so they do a behind the scenes of the show with Big Show. Oh look we cut to the back Mark V. and The Bella Whores are looking pretty, cause that's all their good at when Ted DiBiase comes in. He offers Mark a new car to co-host Raw. Mark denies him and Big Show walks up. Main Event Mark/The Big Show vs Ted DiBiase/THE Virigl. Then Mark ice skates and Big Show catches him. The Whores don't like sissies apparently.

Evan "The Flying Midcarder" Bourne beat Chris Jericho in a singles match via DQ: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
ASK HIM @8:51 CDT! End match Jericho hits the Codebreaker OUTTNOWHERE and get the...Borune KICKED OUT! WTF? Jericho snapped and got himself DQ'd shortly afterward. Bourne kicked him in the face and then hit the amazing Shooting Star Press. Looks like Bourne is getting a push and I want more matches between him and Jericho.

MY GOD CENA IS SELLING INJURIES! He not running, and even limping! He should get an Emmy for his walk down to the ring. He was given the night off, but wants to address the CeNation. Vintage Radicals reference. I love how they're trying to push that Cena was the only one they attacked. They destroyed everything at ringside, not just Cena. WWEs ring is sacred ground and can be punished by death, lmfao. Oh shit amidst Cena The NXT Rookies are back! Cena, King, Truth, Santino, Mark Henry, and Regal are all brawling in the ring. Orton comes out and even Edge with a spear. Sheamus even out to to take out the NXT season 1 rookies. Cole is yelling, people are fighting, Mark Henry is huffing it down the hallway, this is awesome!

Sheamus says Fella @9:11 CDT while in the back with an interview Josh "Goofy Smile" Matthews. He says he's not gonna let a bunch of NXT Rookies ruin his WWE title shot this Sunday on PPV.

Eve Torres-Day (Divas Champion)/Gail Kim beat Maryse/Alicia "Former Wedding Planner" Fox in a Divas Tag Team Match vis pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Look a Fatal Four Way Divas match between the four people in this match this Sunday at the PPV. Are we allowed to remember Alicia Fox was Edges and Vickie's wedding planner? I'm guessing no. Nice Northern Lights Suplex from Fox! Too bad it only got a two. Eve gihts out of a rear chin lock. Eve tries to fight out, but gets stooped and in comes Maryse. Another quick tag and Fox is back in. Uh-oh Fox gave a drive-by to Maryse on the apron and hits a rough looking swinging neckbreaker on Fox for the 1-2-3. Why make it a tag match when Gail didn't even get tagged in.

The Big Show/"Main Event" Mark beat Ted DiBiase/THE Virgil in a tag team match vis pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Already a Royal Pain pun, God King the match hasn't even started yet. You stupid old man, go back to being heel. "You know what they say about a fool and his money, they can throw a heck of a party", King you made up for the bad pun with that. Big Show is man-handling DiBiase to start out. DiBiase give Show a thumb to the eye, which doesn't help at all. DiBiase bails and tags Virgil in, HAHA. And after Virgil is thrown back in by Mark he gets killed and raped by Big Show. Chokeslam and Big Show is tagging in Main Event Mark. THE WORM FROM SCOTTY 2 HOTTY! F*** YEAH! Afterward, Daddy DiBiase like he stuck $100 Bill down Virgil's throat. Then he f***ing repo'd it hahah.

Santino beat William Regal w/Valdimir Kozlof as special guest ref in a singles match: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
The funniest, the most technical, and the sternest all in this match. LMFAO at Santino in the early goings. Regal puts an armbar him early. End match Regal goes for suplex, but Santino rolls up Regal and gets a hand full of tights for the 1-2-3.

Bret Hart comes out and tells us all the Raw superstars will be on the stage, cause he doesn't want history to repeat itself like last week, in this weeks main event.

John Cena (WWE Champion)/Randy Orton vs Edge/Sheamus in a tag team match with the Raw roster on stage: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Like the other week it's the team with first and last names verses the team with only one name. Amazing how little the Raw Writing Team ever really writes for the Main Event picture. Edge, possibly the best on Raw, is out first, I gotta soak in as much Edge as possible the next two years too. Next it's The Pale White Yonder himself Sheamus. Hopefully we'll see a Blarney Boot. We haven't seen one in ages. Ah Randy Ortons voices asked him to come out to tag with Cena, and reluctantly he obliges them. Oh wait he's heel now, so he gladly comes out to help Cena out. Finally we have Superman himself and we have the main event for the PPV in the main event on Raw. Great, non-lazy writing by the Raw Team, hunh? Another thing I like, starting the Main Event at 50 after in the hopes of at least 10 minutes of action. Viper @9:52 CDT! Viper again @9:54 CDT! He never hits the RKO if he beats his hands on the mat before going for it. Maybe he should stop doing that. Just a thought. End match Edge hangs up Cena and tags Sheamus in. Sheamus works over Cena, and covers him for a two. Sheamus hits a knee trembler and the Sheamus begins to work over Cenas neck. Sheamus kicks him in the corner, and then tags back in Edge. Edge works over Cena with kicks and punches. Edge goes for a suplex, but Cena blocks it and delivers his own. Edge tags Sheamus in who stops Cena from tagging Orton. Sheamus sets Cena up in the ropes and beats on him. Sheamus distracts the ref while Edge hits Cena on the outside. Sheamus then throws Cena into the baracade. He throws Cena back in the ring and covers him for a 2. A big clothesline from Sheamus gets another two outta Cena. Sheamus then throws an arm bar on Cena. Cena fights up but gets caught into a rear naked choke by Sheamus. Cena then Supermans up and gets up with Sheamus on his back. Cenas trying to walk to the tag to boot with Sheamus on his back, but he collapses with Cena on his back. Sheamus covers him, but only gets a two. Edge back in and Cena tires to hit the Attitude Adjustment, but gets the Edge-O-Matic from Edge. Edge sets up for the spear but Cena side stepped it and Edge hits the turn buckle. Orton in and sheamus as well. A GD POWERSLAM FROM ORTON (FU COLE) and then gives Sheamus a second rope DDT. Orton sets up for the RKO and hits it on Edge, but then Sheamus double axe handled Orton from behind. Sheamus with the Blarney Stone for a two count. And Irish Curse sonds stupid as hell. Sheamus then throws some knees and puts an armbar chinlokc on Orton. Orton back to his feet, but Sheamus buries the knee for a two count. Edge back in and their working over Orton, the smaller man, well. A "Randy" chant starts as Orton fights back, only to be drop toe held by Edge. Now an "RKO" chant erupts. Edge gets him up and throws a forearm, but Orton telegraphs a back body drop and delivers a clothesline. Cena comes in an delivers a shoulder block to Edge to get a Vintage Cena @10:08 CDT!

The buck stops there when the NXT Rookies invade the backstage area and throw Bret in a limo and start wildly driving it around smashing all the cars in sight. They pull him out after their done and ask him if he's been rattled and say they want an answer by Sunday.

Raw: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars (Will be up later)
I loved Raw so much more from this week from last week. Oh how a week and a good intriguing, not done much before storyline and good matches throughout the night makes a show good. They followed the formula for a good show tonight. Nice promos, good storyline movement, the NXT Invasion is nice, the USC Fatal Four Way match and the Main Event were great RAW matches and I love how they're already involving Bret in the biggest WWE story of the summer. Kudos to a great show Raw. Also sorry if there's typos, my shoulder is killing me (Haha like Orton) so I'm done typing a lot for the night.

That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples

The Smackdown Lowdown 6/04/10

Finally! After a week long hiatus, The Smackdown Lowdown has come back to Fat Jesus' blog! Get ready for MVP/Swagger, Kofi/Drew, a battle Royal, and the best bad soap opera promo (from Kane) in a long long while. Anywho, I'm not gonna keep you waiting, it's time for me to give ya the lowdown on Smackdown!

We start out with Teddy, hehe, telling us, hehehe, that Undertakers brother Kane, haha, found him in a vegetative state, hahahahahahahaha. And "Buckle Up" Teddy wants to know who committed this heinous crime. After the theme we're informed Smackdown is in Dallas (Boo-ya!) and the Undertakers druids (which are no doubt superstars), wheel a casket with nothing in it down to the ring. Whata waste of effort for it to be empty. Kane is apparently giving a eugely. He says he's one of the most respected superstars and now he doesn't walk among us anymore. He talks about how Undertakers gone from the WWE and so are the bond of brotherhood between them. No more sitting up in matches apparently cause he'll rise no more. Gone is the Undertaker, but soon the monsters that did this will be sent to the depths of hell and he'll personally prosecute/persecute and there will be VENGANCE on his attacker(s) Kane screams as he does 'Takers closing match pose and crawls to the empty casket. And cut! My Lord that was the most theatrics I've seen in the WWE for a long while. Kane deserves a Oscar, or Emmy or whatever they give out for sports people. I'm for sure he'll get a Slammy come this December.

WWE plugs the three hour Raw this Monday where it's Viewers Choice with Bradly Cooper, Rampage Jackson and some other dude hosting Raw.

Jack "The Lisp Champion" Swagger beat MVP in a singles match via pinfall: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
WE have Jack coming out in his Sooner jersey getting a rise out of the Texas crowd. He'd get more of a reaction more south in Texas. Here in DFW it's not too bad with the Sooner hating. Anywho here we go. I like the start with Jack wrestling amateur-style and then MVP throwing an elbow and Swagger got mad. MVP connects with the big boot send Swagger to the outside as we go to commercial. As going to commercial should happen. I love how Stiker is calling the moves by their technical names ala The Plancha. End match Swagger throws MVP into the ring-post. And the does it again for good measure. The ref starts counting and gets to 9 before MVP jumps in the ring. But Swagger takes him down and drives his knee into the injured should. He then puts a key-lock on MVPs arm. MVP fights out, but takes a big boot by Swagger which gets a two. "Let's go Swagger" chants erupt as Swagger beats on MVP in the corner. Swagger then works over MVP with what looks like a standing arm-bar. Swagger Irish whips MVP but sets to early and kick him. Swagger then missed a splash in the corner and takes two clotheslines. But he catches MVP into a powerslam and Vader Bomb, both for two counts. He then puts that key-lock back on MVPs arm. MVP fights up, but is taken back down, still with the key-lock on. MVP gets up again and fights out and hits the drive-by on Swagger in the corner. Both men down as the ref starts his count and both men get up. MVP throws elbows and punches, and clotheslines. He then hits the facebuster, an over heard throw, and the Ballin' Elobw for a two count. He goes for The Play of the Day, Swagger counters but misses the boot, and MVP hits a fisherman's suplex into the bridge for a two. Nice! Swagger hits a jawbreaker into a belly to belly for a two. He goes to the well again for a Vader Bomb but MVP moves and sweeps the legs. MVP goes for another drive-by in the corner, but Swagger moves and rolls MVP for the three. I though it was a very very good match.

Post match Curt Hawkins and Dallas' own (Yeah!) Vance Archer jump MVP and Archer gives him the DDT.

We cut to Vickie and Teddy in the back. Vickie tries to get Dolf Ziggler in the vacant spot for the World Heavyweight Championship match at Fatal Four Way. It gives Teddy the idea to have a Smackdown battle royal with the rest of the roster for the vacant spot. I'd bet my testies that Rey wins.

We come back and Striker compares Dallas to a bunch of JBLs walking around. I lol'd hard. They cut to NXT season 1 finale that happened Tuesday, that Wade Barrett won. I said they'd put him in his PPV match against Truth/Kofi for their respective titles. It makes the most sense.

We cut to the back where CM Punk is putting on his awesome mask. Kane storms the room and shakes down CM Punk. Punk says he understands how Kane feel and offers the assistance of the SES in the hunt for the perp. Reminds me of the APA haha. Look another JBL reference. Damn.

We have the clip of McIntyre having Teddy read Vince note where he suspends Matt Hardy as Drew mocks him on his way out.

"Mr. Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental Champion) beat Drew "Chosen One" McIntyre in a singles match for the Intercontinental Championship vis pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Whew long description for this match. And Drew still has one of the best entrances in the WWE. Also I really think he Kofi needs a new catchphrase. Cause walking around yelling "Boom boom boom" is stupid. We go to commercial as Matt Hardy walks to the front row, though banned, Hardy has a ticket. Oh-ho man, he's sure got the one up on all of us didn't he. Silly Matt Hardy. End match, Drw/Kofi are on the outside and he runs Kofi kidney first into the steel steps and the gives him a snap suplex on the outside. McIntyre rolls Kofi back in the ring, but only gets a two. Drew works over Kofis back, but Kofi fights out. Kofi throws some forearms and then Drew buries the knee off an Irish whip. Drew gives him a couple of clotheslines in the corner and he then give Kofi a short-arm clothesline. Kofi fights back with a couple of moves and both men are on the mat. Kofi hits Drew with something, haha and then rolls him up with a Crucifix for a two. He then hits a cross-body for the long two count. Drew hits a backbreaker into the knee and gets a two outta Kofi. He clotheslines Drew from behind and hits the Boom Drop on Drew and sets up for TiP, but Drew rolled outta the ring, and then Kofi flew outta the ring and missed Drew. Haha a Drew back handing a fan. I wish WWE would do that for real haha. Drew rolls Kofi back in the ring and gets caught with the SOS, aka The Whirling Dervish of Doom for the 1-2-3. Another good match, and I think one of my favorites I've seen Drew in. You can tell he's improving in the ring too.

After the match Matt give security the slip, and gave a Twist of Fate to Drew and runs outta the ring. It's like he watched Tom and Jerry before the SD tapings. Striker said that security aren't the brightest bulbs in the box haha.

We have a WWE Rewind, showing us the MVP/Swagger match from earlier tonight. Good, cause I almost forgot what happened during and after the match. The Gatekeepers, catchy name.

We cut to Swagger, smiling, in the back and he's gonna talk to us. He says that we don't believe his accomplishments. Next he rags on University of Texas. So in honor of all this, he's gonna sing the Sooners fight song. Epic. LMFAO Sing-a-long with Jackie! Kane interrupts and Swagger shits his tights.

Kelly Kelly beat Rosa Mendes in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We cut to Rosa Mendes, who might actually have her first match on SD this time around. Vintage Neil Pert reference by Striker. Oh look, it's the diva full of charisma, this could be diva match of the year. I'll just cover the match. Kelly hits a neckbreker for a two. Rosa uses the hair ad takes Kelly down for a two. Rosa whips Kelly into the corner and uses the ropes to work over Kelly. Rose hits a suplex and floats over into the cover for a two. Rosa slaps on a head scissors and Kelly fights out. Thez press from Kelly Kelly (Thanks for posting Mickie James), then a clothesline. Kelly kicks Rosa in the boobs and hits a flying cross-body for a two. Kelly then hits the step-up leg drop, apparently the K2, on Rosa for the three count. Lay-Cool came out and I didn't even notice, I wonder why?

We have the Junkyard Dog package by WWE Classics, going over what he was all about. He died like 10 years ago in a car accident. RIP.

We have the Big Show and the Midget Wrestling reject, Hornswoggle, playing cards in the back when Kane storms in. He tries to shake down Show, but it didn't work. So he kicked the little table. Whata dick move.

We have run down of Fatal Four Way. Could be a decent. PPV, but we need more matches on the card. Kane or Rey winning the Battle Royal BTW.

Recap of Kanes best (or worst) promo in years that happened earlier tonight. My Lord, unless all the watchers are getting plastered, all the rewinds to earlier tonight are pointless.

Rey Mysterio won the Smackdown Battle Royal for the Vacant Spot in the World Heavyweight Championship Match at Fatal Four Way: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Imma call Kane as my #2 pick with Christian as my Darkhorse (F*** You Nickelback and your terrible Raw theme song). I mean if he's always a favorite for the Royal Rumble, this should be a cake walk. Rey out first to a good pop from the Texas crowd. Rey's huge in Texas still. Remember when JBL went down to the border and kicked the Mexican family back across. Good times, and look another JBL reference. Finlay sighting @8:42 CDT! It's like a small tag team/jobberfest in the ring and I expect them to go first. Rey jumps through the second rope and tried to unmask CM Punk and then takes out Gallows on the outside. I'm sure at least 5 people will go during the commercial break. We come back and I guess no one went, or at least no one important. Calen Croft, Trent Baretta, Chris "Titty Dance" Masters, and JTG all get axed. Kofi and Drewy Mac go at the same time. Look a sleeper by Ziggler on Finaly, Striker says it's smart, I think it's stupid. Ziggler gets axed by Christian and then Christan gets dumped over. One more commercial. 8 are left in-ring and my #1/2 picks are still in it. No one eliminated. Rey takes Chavo Guerrero out. Then there were 7. Dallas; own Archer goes next, then MVP right behind. My Lord Hawkins made the final 4. The final three left in Kane, Gallows and Rey. The Hooded Avenger and Gallows almost takes out Kane but to no avail. Gallows is eliminated. Rey sets up for the 619, but gets blasted with a clothesline. Kane works over Rey in the corner. Rey gets hung up on the tops rope, and then hangs on for dear life. Kane stops Rey's momentum after the West Coast Pop. Rey shifts the weight and hits Kane with a reverse DDT. Rey hangs Kane up and hits the 619. But Rey gets caught going for the splash. Kane goes for the chokeslam but, Rey slips out and head scissors Kane over the top rope for the win. Pretty decent, albiet typical, battle royal.

Smackdown: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars (Unofficial FJ Rating)
I like the show. Kanes promo was just over the top enough to be awesome. Swagger/MVP was quite a great match, and Kofi/Drew for the ICC match was good as well. The battle royal was decent, all the promos and announcing throughout the night were good as well. Viva La Texas, I think we're one of the states that WWE always steps up it's shows in. Side note, I like Vance Archer in WWECW, and I'm gald they kept him around.

That's it for The Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz. Also if you wanna add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, please do so. Really I don't mind.
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I'm Matt Day and thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!