Just an fyi, I'm not going to be doing any play by play of the matches, just some thoughts, a rating and the winner.
The A-Show is at it again this week, with the return of the Jeritron 5000 on the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho! So here it is taped from Seattle Washington, here's comes the Smackdown Lowdown! (Thats what she said)
We start out with Rey and his family, and a giant! Oh wait that's just Dominick. As it turns out, it's family week in the WWE, so Rey brought them all out to make his daughter Aalyah's ninth birthday, so we're all singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Cue our Straight Edge savior CM Punk, the mistress of purity Serena, and the first of the flock Luke Gallows come out to sing to her too. Rey is not amused. CM Punk asks for a Wrestlemania match and also wanted a match right there. Rey didn't want to in front of his family. But, Punk reassured him. Telling Aalyah she could close her eyes, and Dominick he could plug his ears, and Angie that she could cover her mouth, at the beating Rey would get. Punk slaps Rey, but he takes the higher road and leaves with his family. As they go Punk finishes the Happy Birthday song, to the only time I've ever heard people boo'ing it.
R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth w/David "Google Me" Otunga beat The Miz (United States /Unified Tag Team Champion)W/Daniel Bryan in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
We have out obligatory out to the floor spot going into commercial. Yes SD! you have stepped it up from last week. Anywho end match Miz going for the win using the ropes, and Daniel pushes his feet off, pissing The Miz off. It allows Truth to hit the forearm with a corkscrew..oh wait it has a name The Lie Detector for the win. Should be a nice confrontation between The Miz/Bryan on NXY next Tuesday (oh comedy gold), and the build up for The Good and The Bad vs ShowMiz at 'Mania is alright.
The awesome Shawn Michaels/Undertaker promo set to Cash is shown. It keeps getting better and better. I'll be almost sad when they stop running it.
Cut to our still undefeated and Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre. He get's stopped by Teddy saying he's luck he's got McMahon on his side. Apparently on Superstars, which we all watch, it was announced that the Money in the Bank match this year will have ten entrants instead of eight. Couldn't have told us on RAW hunh WWE? Teddy says he can't scrap McMahon's orders, cause he still on probation (Holy hell look at that, more consistency. Makes RAW look bad...oh wait), but he can add-on to the match. Therefore it's a Winner Take All Match as well as a qualifier. Now we know Drew's winning.
Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) beat Seattle Jobber in a Money in the Bank qualifier/Intercontinental Championship match: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Drew came out to his awesome new video package/theme, confident as always. He awaits his opponent, who McMahon picked out so you know he's good. Then a local random buff Asian comes out. He gets careened by McIntyre who hits Future Shock about thirty seconds in. Once again an Asian gets destroyed on Smackdown. (Thanks for posting Jimmy Wang Yang) After the match Drew makes Striker tell us once again that he won and blah blah blah. Go win MitB already Mr. Chosen One.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) beat John Morrison in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I liked Big Show matches and this is why. You have John Morrison, the World Heavywe- wait a sec that hasn't happened yet for some odd reason. We have easily the best non-world champ on Smackdown, with my favorite big man in the WWE. You have the cocky Big Show talking trash to the smaller Morrison the whole match. Morrison has a nice comeback run, but gets KNOCKED THE F*** OUT going for a springboard chuck, for the pin. This is how you use Show, give him arrogance, let him dominate, give a guy a chance of hope and have him kill him to win the match.
Look TnT is back together, as 90% of the WWE Universe learns Tiffany wrestles. Maybe her top will finally come off. (My God he's still doing that mardi-gras joke?) Vicki doesn't like her, probably cause even the ugly divas are better looking than her. So she tell Tiffany to get her gear on she has a match with the Womens Champion tonight. I hoped her gear had cleavage, but McIntyre didn't allow it.
Cryme Tyme vs The Hart Dynasty in a tag team match ends with a no contest: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look, despite Bret's huge Wrestlemania match we have the best young tag team, The Hart Dynasty, coming out for a match and us not even seeing their entrance. Joy. They cut to black guys bumpin' to Cryme Tymes entrance, but show an Asian kid for R-Truth's. WWE is all about diversity, or is it money? I forget. Anywho, Kidd screws of JTG's knee on the ring post and slaps on a half-Boston crab. As it looks like JTG's gonna tap, we hear the infamous bong and the lights go out. The come back on and a rapist grabs a young boy from the crowd and runs away. Haha, just kidding The Undertaker is there and he's pissed for some reason, and he opens the Gates of Hell. Striker asked us what we thought of 'Taker when he's on our screens at home. I think hate crime, epically when he takes out two black guys, and a guy who could be white or Latino. What do I call Taker taking out Smith? Wall Street. I liked the anger, and I liked we saw all four of Takers finishers.
Tiffany "Ms. Take Your Top Off" beat Michelle McCool (Womens Champion) w/Layla and Vickie Guerrero
No cleavage, like I said before, but we have skirts back in the WWE Divas division. Now let Mickie James bring her's back. Tiffany looks pretty good, being this is the first time I've seen her in-ring her moves are solid and looks like she can work a good match. Anywho Tiff and McCool are brawling on the outside. Apparently Vickie saw a phantom Hostess cupcake on the ground and had to ruin an alright match to get it. Afterward, they wail of Tiffany in the ring in order for Beth to come out, clear the ring, and then clotheslined Vickie. This was epic. I smell the infamous "Excuse Me" screech in a handicap match next week.
Kane beat Luke Gallows (aka Festus aka Impostor Kane) w/CM Punk and Serena in a singles match via DQ: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
So Kane is fighting two years ago Impostor Kane. I was hoping a See No Evil DVD plug would happen. Striker referenced the feud though I forget what he said, I chuckled. After Kane hits the choke-slam, Punk comes in and takes out Kane. The beat down ensues and Punk hits a 6 foot GTS, nice. Rey's music hits, the crowd goes nuts, and the giants daddy wants revenge. Punk is ready for him in the ring, but ducks out as Rey gets there. They brawl on the outside, we need three refs to break up a brawl involving Rey. Nice. A Dean Malenko sighting too, nice to know he still exists. Good segment, still no Mask vs Hair stipulation. Let's keep it that way.
We don't have a main event match. Fine with me, let two of the best talkers talk. World Heavyweight Champion Christ..I mean Chris Jericho comes out. Then immediately the number one contender Edge's music hits. Edge says he has a move he uses, but he can't remember the name. The arena is chanting "spear" at this point. Good, at least all us inbred hicks know move names. (See what I did thar?) Y2J tells Edge his career has been one injury after another, he even missed two Wrestlemania's due to back injury. While he was wrestling and forging his stellar career during the time he missed. Edge says even though he was working, he was losing. Losing to Shawn Michaels and Christian. And that he'll spear Jericho at Wrestlemania. Which get's another rousing "Spear" chant going. Y2J says that even with all the confidence he thinks Edge came back from injury too soon and that at Wrestlemania, instead of Edge winning and everyone chanting his name, he'll re-injure Edge and put him out for another six months. He blats Edge with the mic (Vintage cheap shot), and tries to put him though the Jeritron 5000, but Edge get's out of it. He hits Jericho with the impaler DDT, the Edgectution to all us noble fans. He sets up for another spear in the corner, but as he goes for the move Jericho has the title in his hand and blasts Edge with it over the head. We close Smackdown with the best in the world at what he does standing over Edge, championship held high. All the non-partial fans rejoice!
Smackdown: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
I liked Smackdown. And when it's consistent like it has been since Elimination Chamber I like it. Sure it's the road to Wrestlemania, but they've been good like this after PPVs like Bragging Rights too. It wasn't wrestling heavy, but it didn't need to be cause while it had lack-luster matches, the promos did the show well and weren't all bad attempts at comedy like on Raw. All in all, meh matches, good promos, and good announcing made this a nice show to watch. Not just this week, but every week.
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
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