On the night where TNA goes head to head with RAW, and we have the Monday Night Wars part deux, I'm feeling good about the week and feeling Raw should be decent. Anywho Live from Portland, lets lay down the Raw!
The symbolic bong tolls as The Undertaker starts out RAW, while Wrestlemaina grows all he closer. Now both men in the WWE with the slowest entrances in the WWE are on the same show, what will Randy due to step up his games? We'll find out later tonight. Undertaker tells us last week is who HBK is since he became the 17 in 17-0. HBK's dark cloud he can't shake, Undertaker says, will be the downfall of his elistrous career. The next night the where be no happiness or joy or winning, and in three weeks his career will Rest in P-cue HBK. There will be no catchphrases tonight, as HBK declares. Actually last Monday night Shawn had an appiphany. He realized that deep down inside The Undertaker there is fear. Taker thought he could intimidate him by asking to put his career on the line. But it didn't work and nothing lasts forever and Shawn's gonna prove it. Really? Undertaker can't tell if he's being confident or pitiful. HBK said he would've taken any form of win last year. But this year he proposes that you can only win by pinfall of sumbission, and so it shall be. Taker sees the passion and fire in his eyes. Taker looks into his soul and knows he can honestly beat him at Wrestlemania. Taker names of his names and tell him he won't be those this year. He may be the best ever in the ring, but come Wrestlemania he'll open the gates of hell and make sure his career is over. HBK says he can keep telling himself that, and that the same dark cloud will follow Undertaker around for the rest of his life, and that all he'll see is Shawn's face. Whata epic, well worded, intense promo to start off RAW. Wonder what TNA did. Ah, I don't care right now.
Eve Torres-Day/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly baets Maryse (Divas Champion)/Alicia Fox/Katie Lea in a tag team match via submission: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
End match in comes Maryse, and hit a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for a two. Eve tags in and hits two dropkicks on Maryse for a two. After a summersault, Eve gets a two count due to Fox and Katie. Gail and Kelly take out the two rouge divas. Eve gets slapped by Maryse while she's on the top rope, but grabs a hold of her. Eve hooks her leg around Maryse's neck and takes her down from the top rope in an arm-bar that Maryse taps out too. Al-freaking-right! I'm glad Eve is finally getting a push, she had so good offense in the match and you can tell shes improving in the ring every match.
Cut to Criss Angel and cue The Bella whores. Brie...or Nikki...had a string on her dress and Cris sticks it in his mouth and pulls it out of he eye. That was pretty cool, and then takes Jillian's voice. Just for that it makes it an ok segment.
ShowMiz (Miz/Show) vs The Good and The Bad (Morrion/Truth) in a tag team match: NR
Give Miz the mic and let him talk. They'd rather face The Bushwackers, which goes over most of your heads, epic win by The Miz there. No one else is apparently worthy and ShowMiz is the last great tag team in the WWE. Out comes JoMo and Mr. Narcissistic to a huge pop in dreary Portland. Early on they shows signs of not having a match, they knock Show off the ropes and throw Miz outta the ring and give him a double baseball slide. Big Show then tries to save Miz but gets thrown into the ring post and DDT'd. They the hang The Miz up on the barrier. Morrison tells us Miz that they are a real tag team, and then Truth spits out it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Let's have these two not cut too many promos. Otherwise I like a good brawl, no matter how small, every once in awhile.
We have our first Cena/Batista promo package. We cut to goofy-face Josh Matthew whose interviewing Cena, who will eventually start yelling. Cena says Batista has his number, and all Cena can do is go out and beat him. And that he expects Batista to interfere in the Cena/McMahon match later.
Cut to Criss who is being thanks by Bourne for letting him face Regal for the last Money in the Bank spot. Regal and that Cornfed Meathead come in. The guy, who Regal basically called a moron, wanted Angel to freak his mind. Regal was told to write a number on the pad, and Angel would guess it. Skip thought it was a good number, to Bills wonder. Angel got the number, which was 56. And if that really wasn't scripted, I'm already a fan of Angel.
The Legacy (Rhodes/DiBiase) beat Randy Orton in a Handicap match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
As Legacy comes out, they get ambushed from behind (No homo) which draws a Viper @8:47 CST! They cut to commercial as Legacy is on the outside of the ring..works for me. Orton could feel DiBiase coming (Again no homo...really). As we cut to a second commercial, Legacy is on the outside again. Boy they really don't like to be in the ring. End match Orton hammers on Rhodes and hits him with a clothesline. Cody hits a jawbreaker outta nowhere. Cody distracts the ref as Orton takes a dropkick from DiBiase on the floor. Rhodes pummels Orton's head into the steel steps, rolls him in the ring and drops a knee on Orton. The Orton chants begin as Ted is tagged in. Teddy cinches in the dreaded rear-chin lock on Orton, and he get's out with elbow shots. Orton is the followed and gets a massive clothesline for a long two. Rhodes covers Orton for and two, then beats on Orton some more as Legacy dissects Orton. In comes DiBiase and hammers on Orton in the corner. The Randy chants begin again as Rhodes tags back in. Orton counters a splash and hits two clotheslines and two POWERSLAMS (You moron Cole quit calling it a scoop-slam you limey retard). Then Vintage Orton at 9:02 CST with a inverted back breaker on DiBiase. Code distracts Orton as he's setting up for the RKO and then he takes a Dream Street for the 1-2-3. After the match Cody taunts Randy and gives him a Cross-Rhodes as they pose like their mentor as he lays out on the mat. Great match, Orton may not have won, but the fans are behind him and he looked strong, even in the disadvantage situation. Keep this going till 'Mania please.
Backstage Batista is watching RAW. Josh asks him if he's going to interfere in Cena and McMahon's match. Dave says that he swears on the WWE Championship that he's no gonna. But to wish Cena luck, cause it looks like he needs it. At least Batista is foregoing The Village People look this week. I hope. Triple H's thoughts on the Pale White Yonder's sneak attack last week is up next.
Next week Stone Cold Steve Austin is hosting RAW, and here was out first promos for it. I'm pumped about it. Should be great.
Cue "The Game" by Motorhead and to Cole's weird intro here's the Legendary Cerebral Assassin, Triple H. A video package of last week where HHH was attacked and Blarney Booted two times. Oh look, his entrance still isn't done..I proclaim it third longest in the WWE! He kind-of respects Sheamus for what he did to him. After he embarrassed so much in the past three weeks. Oh here comes a ghost! Oh it just Sheamus and that awful theme. Sheamus tells HHH he'll make an example of him at Wrestlemania. Triple H tells him he's had a great first year in the WWE. Triple H tells Sheamus it's all moot till he makes his Wrestlemania moment. He compared Sheamus to a young Triple H, and that if Sheamus doesn't win, he's gotta lay it all on the line. Either he's gonna be immortal or nothing. Start the brawl! HHH send Sheamus over the top rope, they go over the barrier, HHH's head get's plastered into the announce table. Back in the ring they go, and HHH gives a double A spinebuster to Sheamus as he bails afterward. An ok promo, one of the best I've seen from HHH in a long while. Glad he can get serious after all the DX skits.
Santino is in the back with Angel. He tells Angel that he's Italian and that even Harry Houdini is Italian despite what the liberal media tells us. I can't tell you epic that line is. He does the thumb trick and is quite proud of himself. Criss asks him to help him with a trick. Santino hides a very sharp sushi knife under one of four cups, and has Santino puts his hand on his should to read his muscles. Sure enough he find the right cup after smashing the other three and freaking Santino out.
Evan Bourne beat William Regal w/Skip Sheffield in a Money in the Bank qualifier: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Christian is on commentary and tells Cole to calm down with the pictures, he on RAW permenatley. End match Regal hits a t-bone on Evan and goes for a Knee Trembler but takes a flying knee which puts him out. Then Evan hits the shoot star press and hits it for the pinfall.
WM20 recap where Goldberg beat Lesnar with a jackhammer. Then both of them getting Stone Cold Stunned by Austin himself.
A video package from last week is shown where McMahon berates Hart, tells him he can back for revenge, and then sets up their Wrestlemania match. Culmination with McMahon kicking Hart's crutch and leaving him in the ring.
Before we come back live we get the Shawn Michaels My Story dvd promo. It's gonna be good, I'm getting it tomorrow. It'll be a great Tuesday and Wednesday watching it!
Cena/Big Show next week, as well as the World Heavyweight Champion Y2J vs HBK, and Randy vs Triple H! Should be a great RAW! I'm very happy to see HBK/Y2J again. Remember their great 2008-09 feud, I do, and I'm excited.
Vince McMahon w/Vladimir Kozlof/Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger/Mark Henry/Batista beat John Cena w/Kofi Kingston via pinfall in a no DQ handicap gauntlet match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
The magician of the century is announcing the main event. And I gotta admit, besides that voice crack just now, he's done a nice job hosting. Kozlof hits Cena with two ura-nages and then McMahon tags himself in for the pinfall but Cena kicks out at two. McMahon calls for Drew McIntrye. He comes out and hits The Future Shock, McMahon tags in, but again Cena powers out at two. As we go to commercial Jack Jack Swagger Swagger (the ring is now flooded) hit the ring. As we come back Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Sawgger. Then Swagger hits a running powerslam on Cena. He then hits tow rope splashes on Cena and tags McMahon in. McMahon goes for the cover, and we have another two kickouts by Cena. Cue The Kool-Aid Man Mark Henry and he doesn't look happy about this. Henry hits the Worlds Strongest Slam on Cena, McMahon is tagged in and another kickout by Superman. Yeah, now McMahon declares it a no DQ match as he walks back to the ring with the ring bell. Henry tries to stop McMahon but get's told to do it he refuses and takes a Spear from Batista. Holy hell all hell is breaking loose as Kofi hits the ring and get's Batista Bombed. No controlled frenzy tonight, drat. Cena takes out Batista with a clothesline and goes after McMahon. Cena was going for the Attitude Adjustment, but takes a spear from Batista. Then a vicious Batista Bomb. McMahon covers Cena and finally gets the three count. Like McMahon said, it wasn't an illusion. We end a very strong RAW with Batista standing over a broken Cena.
RAW: 6/10 of 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
A good guest host, solid diva action an awesome Orton/Legacy match, an epic HBK promo made this a good RAW to watch. The Cena/McMahon match went liked you'd expect, and Even got into MitB with a 2 minute squash, and those weighted down the show for me. Otherwise, it was enjoyable, not mind blowing (Thanks for posting Criss Angel), but not bad to watch either.
As always suggest to me stuff to write and give me ideas for topics/content.
Thanks for reading Matt "Fat Jesus" Day Disciples.
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