Happy President's Day everyone as RAW kicks off with some 15-year old singing the National Anthem. Hope they told Batista that the chick is underage, not that he cares. Boo yeah, it in the town where I was born, Des Moines, Iowa!
WWE Champion Sheamus beat Randy Orton in a Singles Match via DQ: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Sheamus' terrible music hits as we kick of RAW with a match. Is Vince dead? I mean RAW has had wrestling the past three weeks, and hardly any skits. Anywho The Pale Blue Yonder get's to the ring as the voices tell Randy to walk slow to the ring for his match. Slithering @ 8:08 CST! We're not even ten minutes into the show and Cole is busting out catchphrases. My God a person out to the floor spot ten minutes into RAW, it's gonna be good. Viper @ 8:13CST. End match, Sheamus huts the Blarney Stone and stomps on Orton. After beating on him in the corner, Orton mounts offense till a dropkick rocks Sheamus. A classic inverted backbreaker from Orton, as Orton looks to hit the RKO now and Sheamus ducks and roll-out to the floor. Orton throws him into the steel ring post and distracts the ref in the ring, but catches Rhodes hitting Sheamus. After match RKO on Rhodes, a Blarney Boot on DiBiase, then finally to leave Orton up alone and RKO to Sheamus. This finisherfest was awesome!
Bret was given time to talk by the RAW writers...I mean the guest host Jerry Springer, that's up next!
Video of package of last weeks Cena/Vince/Bret promo to end out RAW last week. Cue the famous Bret Hart theme as he comes out to address us, the WWE Universe. He informs us that Vince isn't here this week. But if he were he wait for him in all the logical place he'd be. He wanted to finish thing once and for all tonight on RAW. He said he came back to make peace with Vince, but all Vince has done is lie, kick and goon him. Bret screwed Bret, but Bret thinks Vince needs to get his a** kicked. Yeah, PG WWE has made me censor stuff. Bret saud he wanted one more Wrestlemania victory, but it won't happen due to more of Vince's lies. Victory is momentary, but excellence is forever. He then thanks the stars in back, the WWE Universe, and John Cena from the bottom of his heart. And finally he says "goodbye" to us. I didn't see this coming at all, hopefully something happens back stage and makes him stay. I really wanna see him slap that God damn sharpshooter on somebody. Oh look a bunch of jobber and the identity confused Kofi Kingston say goodbye to Bret on his way out. Cut back again to Cena pleading Bret to try and get that WM match still, to no avail. Then OMFG A CAR CRASH BY A WOMAN! (Figured) CRUSHES BRETS LEG! The random jobbers and Cena are back now, crowding the medical peoples way. The segment is so bad it's good and King even busted out the serious voice in concern for Bret.
The Kool-Aid Men (MVP/Mark Henry) beat Unified Tag Team Champions The MizShow (The Miz [USC]/Big Show) in a Tag Team Match via Roll-Up: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
MizShow's theme needs some work but it'll get better. And I'm glad to see the Kool-Aid promoters back together, still waiting for Henry to bust through a wall and yell "Oh YEAH", bust at least we're getting our thirsts quenched. Anywho, in our second match we have The Miz getting kicked out to the floor by MVP into a commercial. Twice already, Fat Jesus is happy. End match, Mark Henry get's DDT by Big Show. Show missed a second rope elbow on Henry, who tags in MVP. Big Show get's hit in the throat and took a facebuster, then a drive-by in the corner. MVP sets up for another kick across the ring and takes a superkick from Big Show for his troubles. Miz get's tagged in and covers MVP, but he reverses it into a pin of his own fro the 1-2-3! If I had Kool-Aid I'd be guzzling it down. Lame ending, IMO, but more solid action on RAW.
Jerry Springer up now, and Santino better be one of the ones with a secret relationship or I riot. Jerry comes out and this special edition of the Jerry Springer Show on RAW called Superstars Most Intimate Relationships Revealed. Kelly Kelly comes out first, and tell us she's pregnant and that she's a slut. Like we didn't already know. Santino comes out and called Jerry "Maury Povich", and was spouting how he is the Papa! But apparently he couldn't finish the job and went to Cole and King. Woah now more whores, The Bella Twins, and Brie is a man, and a cat fight ensues. Cue Masters and his dancing boobies. Eve Toress-Day comes out and starts another catfight, while King and Santino chant Jerry's names. ETD confesses she's been cheating on Masters with the Punjabi Jobber. Next the paternity test results, even though Santino said it only happened 3 days ago, no of this s*** is PG. And surprise, surprise Hornswoggle is the father. I thought he was only 12, guess I was wrong. Sprigner leaves cause WWE superstars a pic masters, twin trans-gender/transvestites, and giants. But, the jokes on them, cause this crazy s*** was planned (It's really not) and they have Springer's dirty little secret. Mae Young, and the makes out as everyone yells "Jerry" as the f***ed up segment end. I think I might give this RAW a 10/10 just for this.
Ted DiBiase beat Kofi Kingston in a Singles Match via Pin-Fall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The identity confused man born in Boston, from Africa, with Jamaican theme music, verses the guys whose dad is the first inductee into the 2010 WWE HoF. End match, Kofi hits a hammer from the top rope, then a flying clothes line off the ropes, ending with a Boom Drop. Kofi stalks Ted looking for a stinger splash, but misses and the DiBiase sets up for a Dream Street for the pin-fall. Short, but we already know these two youngsters can wrestle.
Next Hall of Fame Inductee is Antoino Inkoi, a praised star from Japan and the US. He even participated in the unofficial first MMA match with Muhammad Ali. A fun, filler name for the WWE 2010 HoF.
That security camera really got a lot of details and looked as if it was mic-ready and in HD. Didn't know my native Iowaians could afford HD. Anywho more awesome serious voices from King.Cole as they state the obvious on how most likely Bret's leg is broken.
A great run down of the rules of the Elimination Chamber. No need to run it down, a good package.
Jerry Springer gave us his Final Thought as he stated after the Elimination Chamber next week things will really be looking clear heading into Wrestlemania 26.
My God it looks like the match might get started by, or before, 9:45 (CST) and it'll get a good amount of time. I'll have to see it believe it. (Thanks for posting Ripley and Jesus) Superman comes out to a huge pop (Well no s*** Matt), and it's like he has his own comic book series or something. Wait...what...I'm being told he's one of the stars of the new WWE Comic Books. Joy, even the my comics have to contain him now. And after the video package from two weeks ago Cena has a mic and there goes the match starting at 45 after the second hour. He wishes Bret well, and then takes aim at Batista and his lack of explanation of his actions and to find out Cena doesn't make threats. Look Batista's on the tron, and now he plays Polo along with being a Cowboy and a Golfer. He basically say Cena doesn't wanna f*** with him. Cena's not a dentist, and Batista thinks it's all funny but he's not laughing. Dave then informs us he'll be on RAW next week, and he's rooting for Cena at EC. Cena yell if he wants some, come get some, why's he always gotta yell in every promo. And out comes The Game to Motorhead and not The DX theme. Good Motorhead > Whoever Sings The DX Song. The match up next.
John Cena vs Triple H in Singles Match
Match started 52 minutes in eh...I was off by 7 minutes. I was close, good for me. My God Cena is doing wrestling moves in the early going, I'm bewildered. As expected the power game is dominating. HHH thrown outside, Cena dives at HHH and hits the barricade, and HHH tried to hit a Pedigree on the outside, but is countered into the back body-drop. Both men on the outside and we get a commercial. We're back and HHH has a sleeper on Cena, which Cena get's out of with shots to the gut. Hits the shoulder blocks, and the back suplex. Vintage @ 10:00 CST! HHH kicks out and hits Cena with a massive clothesline. Get's a long 2. HHH tries to hit a superplex, fails and then knocks Cena off balance, and goes for a second superplex which fails and Cena hits a top rope leg drop for a two. Cena goes for the STF, but HHH reverses it into a half Boston, and Cena counters the crab into a STF. HHH gets to the bottom rope. Cole has already blew a load three times in this match. Cena goes for the AA, HHH grabs the ropes, get out hits a high knee on Cena, and then another Vintage @ 10:03 CST! Triple H is setting up for the Pedigree when Sheamus hits a Barney Boot on HHH! Then he Blarney Boots Cena. And he's not done making his pale statement, he then give HHH the Celtic Cros....Razors Edg...his nameless finisher to end the show.
RAW: 5.5/10 or 2.75/5 Stars
It was a alright RAW. Promos were good, and I personally loved Jerry Springer on RAW. And Cena/HHH was a nice way to end RAW, with good action by both veteran superstars. It had good action, good storyline movement, and funny comedy. RAW has really stepped up the past month or so. And Elimination Chamber is looking to be a good PPV.
As always thanks for reading, and if you wanna suggest me topics to write on, please do so
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