Layin' Down the Raw

I'm only doing the important, or big name promos and the matches tonight of course.

Live from Louisiana it's Monday Night RAW! We start out with a video package of Bret Hart getting beatdown on RAW last week and a vintage clip of the Monteal Screwjob. Cut to an obvious taped video of Carl Edwards, yes more Nascar hosts, doing donuts in the parking lot, to which King exclaimed it was him cause he heard his name on a police scanner. Really King? You keep a police scanner under the announce table? What else you got under there some of Jareds Subway sandwiches and Torrie Wilson's boobs? Anywho Edwards says John Cena is his best friend and The Pale White Yonder, Sheamus, interrupts him and demands to be the last person to go into his Elimination Chamber match. Then to our surprise Captain Charisma, Christian comes out and calls Sheamus a funny name and informed us that all current ECW Superstars will become free agents in two weeks and can go to either RAW or SD! Then Edwards obliges Cristian and let's them have a match and it starts off the show.

Sheamus (WWEC) beat Christian (ECWC): 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
A solid match to start off RAW, good back and forth action, and a lot of people say Sheamus sucks in the ring, but I can see him improving steadily. I don't think he was ready to be made WWEC when he was, but I see how it's helped him move along. Anywho, end match Sheamus hits the Blarney Boot, then hit Christin with a clothesline and kills him with the Celtic Cross. (Thanks for helping me write this Finlay.)

The Miz Show (Big Show/The Miz) beat Straight Edge Society (CM Punk/Luke Gallows) w/Serena and Degeneration-X (Triple H/Shawn Michaels) in a Elimination Triple Threat Match for the Unified Tag Team Championships: 7/10 or 3.5/5 stars!
SES comes out and preaches the fact that Cajun Country is doomed for life when it comes to drinking and drugs. They call out Jared from Subway and try to get him to be head of propaganda for the SES. He denies them as DX comes out to make the save. Miz and Big Show come out last. Meanwhile after the 2nd commercial break, I get pissed a SES is eliminated by HBK after a Superkick to CM Punk. SWEET CHIN MUSIC @ 9:01CST! Vintage HHH @9:05CST! OMG New UTTC @9:06CST! The Miz rolled up HBK after he tagged himself in after the vintage HHH spinebuster! The Miz Show are the new Unified Tag Team Champions! Great match, good action throughout, further the HBK storyline, I see a DX break-up soon, and new UTTC make this a very good RAW match!

In the interview after the match, Big Show brags on how him and Y2J could never beat DX and how The Miz treats him as an equal. Then The Miz calls them "The Miz Show", Big Show halts him and renames the team, "Showmiz"

Cut to HBK looking for Teddy Long, but seems to have forgotten his name. He asks to be traded to SD! and put in the Elimination Chamber so he can win and let the Undertaker re-challenge him at WM so he can retain and beat the streak. Long tells him no as he begins shaking him like a baby. Triple H asks if he's throwing DX and his career away to a reply of "My career is over" and a superkick to Teddy Long. To hand out a hate crime to end the promo.

Gail Kim beat Jillian: 0.5/10 or .5/5 stars
Bleh get's points for Maryse being hot and her calling Cole a "Vintage Nerd". I hope Gail Kim/Maryse for the Divas Championship is good. And if they give them 10 minutes I think it will be.

The first inductee to the 2010 WWE Hall of Fame which essentially means nothing is "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase Sr.! I've always like watching his old matches and promos, a great guy to lead in the WWE HoF this year!

New Santino SHIRT! Hahaha five dollars, five dollars, foot longs. YES! It's like money in card form! I love Santino. And in comes the identity confused guy from Boston, billed from Africa, and has Jamaican theme, Kofi Kingston! He informs us that next week on RAW all six members of the RAW EC will be in singles matches! Which sets up Santino not knowing Jerry Springer is next weeks host and saying he's sure he's of utmost character.

Cody Rhodes beats Randy Orton in a Singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Cody doesn't get an entrance, not a good sign, and Randy comes down much faster than normal, and tries to teach Cody a lesson. End of this short match, we get a Viper comments directed at Orton, Sheamus distracts Orton and Cody hits Cross Rhodes on RKO for the 1-2-3! Post match Rhodes saves RKO, but only after Sheamus hits his second Blarney Boot of the evening! Short match, BUT keeps me guessing about what going to eventually happen with Legacy.

Next weeks matches as told by Carl Edwards! Orton vs Sheamus, Ted DiBiase vs Kofi Kingston, and Triple H vs John Cena! Though Cena/HHH has been done about 89,763 times they always have a good match and RAW looks to be very good again next week!

John Cena vs Ted DiBiase Jr: 0/10 or 0/5 Stars
No match, but I like Cenas STSA "beat your a**" style. And he wants Batista, eww. Joy Botchtistaroid vs Superman in a match, the match from from Summerslam 2008 I don't wanna see again. HAHA at USA cutting to commercial cause no one came out. Furthers my thinking that it'll be Cena w/Brett Hart vs Batista w/Vince McMahon and WM26.

BTW got watch the Cop Out restricted trailer on FB, holy f*** does it look funny. It's the first 2010 movie I'm actually going to go out and see. Directed by Kevin Smith, starring Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, and Sean William Scott. I think YES!

Oop, still waiting for Batista as we come back from commercial Cena is thinking out loud and figures out Vince is the one who "hired" Batista to attack him last week. I might call him John "Dick Tracey" Cena now. GOT NO CHANCE hits and the chairman, Vince McMahon, obliges Cena and comes out with the vintage strut and security guards. Cena tells Vince he'd mow down the security guards and get angry if Vince didn't come in the ring alone. Haha Adam was the originally designed for McMahon! Classic ragging on God! *Thinks back to HBK and God vs Vince/Shane McMahon* And boy does Vince not like Orange/White, GI Joe, and Louisiana! Cena calls him out about loving money, and turning Botchtistaroid into a cash-cow! Vince does it for money, Cena does it cause he loves doing it on nights like this after the Saints win the Superbowl. A "Who Dat!" chant riots out of the crowd. And blah blah blah he's yells about the biggest night of the year, the HoF, and how Bret said he'd like to wrestle another WM match (w00tness) against Vince (YEAH!). Cena leaves by asking Vince if he's about the money or the moment. Vince says he doesn't want any of an 65+ year old mans body. Cena goats Vince a little more and yelling in his devil voice he agrees to Vince vs Bret Hart at WM26! After a video package from last week, Bret Hart from behind taking down Vince, taking down security guards as Vince high-tails it! Vince retraced his WM26 match with Bret and then follows vintage destruction of fake props and the announce table. And we end easily the best segment of the night with Brets music hitting and the Hitman doing what he does bast, loving the fans! F***ing great segment, probably the best segment for RAW since Jan. 4ths with Bret/HBK.

RAW: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars
Last week I gave it an unofficial 8/10. This weeks I think was just as good as last week despite the couple of dud matches. But the Tag Team Triple Threat Match, and Christian/Sheamus were very good and the promos were great to boot. I think RAW has stepped it up to SD! levels the past two weeks and I hope they keep it up! Good RAW, is good.