Live from Indianapolis, on the heels of a great Elimination Chamber, where the best in the world at what he does Chris Jericho is the World Heavyweight Champion, and John "Superman" Cena gets screwed out of the WWE Championship by Vince, Batista, and Phil, here's Layin' Down the Raw!
And we start out RAW the right way the new WHC, Y2J! He's going to Wrestlemania! Y2J chats abound as he brags, rightfully so, that he beat five of WWE's top stars including the Deadman twice, and yes in case you didn't know Y2J is champ and going to Wrestlmania! Cue Edge's music, and OUTTA NOWHERE he spears Jericho. Then proclaims Y2J is going to Wrestlemania to face him, Edge! Now the Superman the White Rapper's music hits and storms down to the ring. Now Vince has screwed Bret, Cena, and the Berzerker. Still no idea how he didn't make it. He get's straight to the point, yelling already and demands his rematch. Cue Mr. No Chance in Hell and he's all about the business. He hired Batista to take out Bret, and in return Batista (and Phil)get a WWEC match anytime he wants. It's not personal just business. Cena is yellig, like he always does and says a no no PG word. Vince sets up one match for tonight for Superman. If Cena loses The Pale White Yonder faces Batista and Phil at Wrestlemania, but as we cut to commercial the shocker is revealed that Cena's opponent is Batista.
Maryse vs Gail Kim in a singles match for the vacant Divas Championship: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Short 4 minute match to start off RAW. Some good offense. End match, Gail misses her finisher due to Maryse holding onto the ropes. Maryse goes for The French Kiss but Kim turns it into a jack-knife for a long two. Some offense is hit as Gail climbs to the top rope she push kicks Maryse and Maryse ducks under Kim in the corner and Kim misses a flying cross-body. Maryse looks dazed in the corner, and Kim is bleeding from the mouth. Their both up at about the 6 count. Gail climbs on Maryse's shoulders in the opposite corner and looks as if she's going for a Victory Roll, but is hung up on the top rope into a French Kiss for the 1-2-3. Best pin ever get's Maryse the Divas Championship for the second time.
Diva bull riding tonight like I called, Eve better win and get a title shot, or one of her boobs pops out. Bad hosts talking unnaturally doing a segment it the point of this as Jillian the never on TV in a match diva get's slapped. Oh look Randy is looking confused, probably cause he watched that last segment. Cody is obviously trying to blame Ted for costing Randy the WWEC last night. Orton says it's his fault and that he set up the six man tag match Legacy is in later tonight to show us that their on the same page. In comes The $500,000 Dollar Man and asks how it went and asks if Mr. Lisp and himself are sticking to the plan, they are.
Team World Unity (Kingston/Tatsu/Bourne) beat Legacy (Orton/Rhodes/DiBiase) in a Tag Team match via pinfall by Evan Bourne: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Yoshi Tatsu has signed with RAW, have fun being buried in 3-5 minute matches Mr. Cardiac Kid. Look Cody did his old World Tag Team Championship partners move. (Thanks for posting Hardcore Holly) No to the floor cut to commercial spot? F*** YOU RAW! Controlled Frenzy @8:45 CST! End match, Orton end and scoop slams Kingston three times. Mr. Identity Confused fight back but takes a European Style Uppercut, and knee Vintage backbreaker @8:47 CST! Rhodes tags himself in and Orton gives him a DDT off the ropes for his troubles. Ted gets in Randy's face on the outside and takes an RKO. Meanwhile in the present, in the ring Tatsu is tagged in and hits Cody with two knees in the corner, and snap-mare rolls-through with Cody and gives him a straight kick in the corner. He tags in a ready Evan Bourne who hits Air Bourne (a Shooting Star Press for those who don't know, it's been about 4 months since I've seen him hit it) for the three count. My God remember this pin fall by Evan, you won't see on for at least another month and a half.
A nice video package is shown of HBK and Takers epic WM25 match, Undertaker telling Shawn no to his rematch. HBK now has to win the Rumble to get his rematch. They show Shawn eliminating his 6 people and Batista making the heartbreaking elimination from the rumble match. There's not plenty of other stars for HBK to face at Wrestlemania. We cut to HBK losing DX's Unified Tag Team Championship to ShowMiz and finally to last night when he costed Taker the World Heavyweight Championship in the Smackdown! Elimination Chamber.
Out comes HBK to cheers and boos, hardly ever hear that for Mr. Cowboy Michaels. He says he has simple explanation for what he did and he knows his decision isn't very popular. Apparently he reads The John Report so he's heard the rumors of 'Taker being on RAW. For every action there's a consequence he tells us and he's prepared for it, cause Undertakers music hits as soon as he's done talking. At least his pyro didn't burn him tonight, hope your ok Deadman. Mark tells Shawn is has his attention. Shawn tells us that the match is widely regarded as the best WM match of all time. He made one mistake that cost him his perfect match. And since Taker has been ignoring him he had to get his attention by making him lose the WHC. He says he knows Undertaker wants to take him out now, and implores him to accept his Wrestlemania challenge, which he does. But Shawn has to put something up as well. Undertaker has his streak, while HBK puts up his career. Shawn accepts saying, if can't beat 'Taker at Wrestlemania, he has no career.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, they sent Christian to RAW! Those mother f***ers! Anywho he'll compete in the first Money in the Bank Ladder Match Qualifier next on RAW.
Christian beats Carlito in the first Money in the Bank qualifier match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
It's Captain Charisma vs Mr. Spit or Swallow. Christian stars with a slap but Carlito drops Christian on the apron for a two. Carlito then goes on the offensive. Christan turns the tide with a one man flap jack, and slaps Carlito again and hit a missile dropkick for another 2. But misses a flying cross-body, ducks a Carlito clothesline and hit a reverse DDT for another two. Some more offense by Carlito and a swinging neckbreaker get's a long two. Carltio sets up Christian for a springboard reverse elbow but is caught into an almost Killswitch. But Carlito get out, but in turn get's thrown into the ring post. Christian pull him out and hit the Unprettier aka Killswitch for the three, to make Christian the first Money in the Bank competitor at Wrestlemania 26.
Diva Bull-riding Contest, on Berserk the Bull is up now. go Eve, it the only person I care about in the contest. Oh Eve Torres-Day as a cowgirl, look at those jeans, oh looks at them bouncing around, I'm dying readers. And Eve makes the 8 seconds. She could make it more riding my bull. (Thanks for posting Jerry Lawler) Kelly Kelly, who apparently bought a brown cow to get chocolate milk, makes it the 8 seconds too. I don't care though. Now it the Bella Whores riding something next, at least they're used to it. They make the 8 second too. Out comes ShowMiz to save us all from Diva PBR. A yodeling contest idea is thrown around as Big Show is challenged to ride the bull. Miz totes him as the best bull rider ever, rightfully so, and Show has trouble getting on the bull and only rides for about 4 seconds. The guest hosts throw around zingers at ShowMiz while Big Show is harboring resentment towards Berserk. He then walks over and KNOCKS THE F*** OUT the bull. Ty and Mrs. Yodel then the the awesome team they'll be facing the team who cleaned the floor with them last week, The Kool-Aid Brigade (Thanks for posting John Canton) aka MVP/Mark Henry.
ShowMiz (The Miz/Big Show) beat The Kool-Aid Brigade (MVP/Mark Henry) in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Bryan Danielson sighting @9:37CST. The OHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH moment is recapped from Elimination Chamber last night. End match, MVP tags Henry in as Miz tags Big Show in. They throw some punches and Show is whipped into the corner. Henry splashes Show in the corner but the ill effects are showing. The both have trouble getting up. Miz lures MVP into the ring and Big Show helps distract the ref. Miz tries to hit a flying cross body on Henry but it caught into the Worlds Strongest Slam. But as Mr. Kool-Aid gets up we have out second KNOCK THE F*** OUT moment of the night getting Big Show the pinfall for the win.
Windi Richter is the 3rd inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. She's from Dallas, Texas (w00t!) and she's most noted for beating the Fabulous Moolah for the Women's title after she was holding it for 33 years. This 5x Womens Champion is now in the practically pointless WWE HoF.
Recap, yes again, *sigh* of Bret saying good bye to the WWE and getting his leg smashed by a bad Women driver. I think it gets better with every recap. Hey look is Vinnie Mac! He really wanted to face Bret for the competition and it wasn't his fault he got injured. Vince invited Bret back for one last moment in the sun next week on RAW. Will Cena make it to the Wrestlemania main event? Will Cena beat Batista? Will Cole but out anymore Vintage's tonight? We'll find out next!
Weed can't be PG can it? Well it won't e with Cheech and Cong are hosting next week. Free weed for the audience! (Thanks for posting Jeff Hardy and RVD). Also Ted Jr. vs Randy Orton is set up for next week. Who'll win? Will Legacy break up? Will Orton's voices tell him to spit in Ted face during the match? Find out next week on the longest running episodic television show! Thanks Cole for for reminding me, I hadn't known since it has been for about two years now.
John Cena beat Batista in a singles match via DQ, so Cena is in the Wrestlemania main event: No Rating
Look Cenas in good shape, it almost as if he wasn't in an Elimination Chamber match last night. Good job on selling being tired Superman. (Thanks for posting all these times DC Comics) Batista and Phil take their time to the ring. We don't wanna rush Batista, cause if he hurries up he'll tear a bicep or pull a hammie. Batista stall to start the match and low-blows Cena about a minute in. He then spears him and beats on him. As Batista is walking up the ramp he sees Cena getting up he runs back to the ring, tearing a quad along the way (Thanks for posting Triple H) and throws Cena into the steel ring post, then into the barricade, and then the ring post a second time. He's still not done as Batista comes down the ramp a second time and grabs a chair. Batista blasts Cena in the back with it and waiting for the inevitable get up from Cena and hit's him a second time. The dumba** get's up and third time and receives a third chair shot. In the most stupidity I've ever seen on TV Cena tries to get up a 4th time and takes a fourth chair shot. The serious voices are busted out as Cole/King recap what just happened to Cena. We end a solid RAW with Batista standing tall at the top of the ramps as Cena writhes in pain on the outside of the ring.
RAW: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 5.5/10 or 2.75/5 Stars
I liked RAW, solid matches, and great storyline moving going into Wrestlemania. Plus we already have three matches, and Money in the Bank qualifiers have gotten going as well. Edge/Y2J will be epic, Batista/Cena is moving along nicely and I'm actually enjoying it, and HBK/Undertaker is quite intense as it's Career vs Streak this year. No Triple H or Sheamus on the show contribute to the rating. Guess they got caught up working out at the gym today. Anywho it was a decent RAW and I didn't feel like gouging my eyes out while I was watching it.
Nobody has suggested me anything to write, but I'll keep asking anywho. So if you have any suggestions on what I could write, send 'em my way.
Also I finally got comments on my blog, so rejoice FJ-Readers.
"The NXT Notes" will be up Wednesday morning just like The ECW Exclamations were.
As always thanks for reading everyone.
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