I'll be doing quick thoughts on Smackdown! segments and matches. Not really play by play on the matches, but more how I thought the match went and then give it a 1-10 rating.
Starts out with Edge winning the Rumble video package, and the aftermath of the Batista/Cena dark match that happened Monday night.
We start out with the leader of us folks, us hypocrites, us troglodytes, he is the man, the legend, Chris Jericho! He says he's lost everything, and he means everything, and demands Teddy put him in the match without having to qualify. I agree, Y2J needs to qualify for nothing, but everything needs to qualify for Y2J. He storms to Teddy office in the back, scaring the s*** out of some backstage worker. I lol'd. But wait! It's not Teddy in his office, but the 2010 Royal Rumble winner, Edge! Edge told Y2J he created a monster, Y2J said he can destroy his creation whenever he wants, and Edge ends it by telling him he's wrong and plugging the fact one of his could be Wrestlemania match with The Undertaker. Good segment, really puts over the fact Edge and Y2J will have that one big match down the road.
An Elimination Chamber package is shown which I really like leads into the first match of the night, and the first SD! Elimination Chamber qualifier. We have our fearless Intercontential Champion, The Scottish Eye-Poker, Drew McEntyre. The Shaman of sexy, the Friday Night Delight, the Guru of Greatness, John Morssion. And finally we have the Big Red Jobber Kane. Come on who really thought Kane would win, I pity the Kane fans of recent years. End match, Kane hits the Flying Clothesline on Morrison, McEntyre hits Kane with the title into a Future Shock (love that name), Morrsion face f***s McEntyre with his knee and finally hits Kane with a Starship Pain for the 3 count. Good, good, both Elimination Chambers are looking good.
John Morrison is the first person to qualify for the SD! Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship which belongs to The Deadman who hasn't actually died in like 5 years. Another 5/10 or 2.5/5 stars rating. Not bad, not great, just good.
Next match is our second Elimination Chamber qualifier pits R "Narcissistic" Truth vs the "Monster Whos Never On TV Anymore" Mike Knox, and oh s*** it's over already...and Truth won..way to use your talented big men WWE.
2/10 or 1/5 stars. Nothing much to say except that R-Truths corkscrew elbow finisher is disgusting.
Video package shown highlighting Vince and Brets talk and Vince and Batista attacking Bret. Then after RAW went off air they showed how Batista attacked Cena and Batista Bombed him onto steel steps. Hopefully "Susperman" goes and get's his bulging discs repeaired and get's of my WWE screen for awhile. Cut to the best promo cutter and his Straight Edge Society, CM Punk. He has the third Elimination Qualifier against Batista next. Punk asks the very lovely Serena and Gallows what their willing to do for him and they both gave the answer that would do anything for him.
Batista and Phil come out. In case you don't know Phil is Dave's nose-ring that can see into the future. And the Straight Edge Society comes out with CM Punk. And boy whata barn burner as CM Punk beats Batista via count out to get into the Elimination Chamber. I call this a 2/10, or 1 star match, cause I didn't have to actually watch Batista wrestle. I nominate this for Match of the Year already.
Aww look at Matty flirting with the Diva of the Year whose never on TV and won't be for like another 4 months soon..good thinking WWE. He's got the fourth of the five Elimination Chamber qualifiers next. I bet he loses. <-Written 51 minutes into the show during a Cash4Gold commercial.
Hahahahahah his opponent is the incomparable Y2J hahaha! Y2J wins is a great match! Matt Hardy still has good in him. 6/10 or 3/5 stars! Best match of the night so far.
Mickie James-Canton sighting at 8:07CST and she's doing a women you are who are so be who you want to be and no one can take it away blah blah cliche. Beth comes out and tells Mickie she can take the title whenever she wants. Then all of the sudden "Excuse me" is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *marks out* Piggy Guerrero sets up the obvious James-Canton/Phoenix vs McTaker/Layla El.
An alright womens match that I really hope is setting up Mickie vs Beth next. Hahaha at Beth not caring if she won and won anywho. 4/10 or 2/5 stars.
WTF Cryme Time is still employed and they have a new shirt? Haha Sauna Boys was pretty good, and that high note would have moved Shad to Hollywood on American Idol. Puppies!!!!! F*** yeah, best segment of the night as Cryme Time and Lawer are going to get hoes!
And we get to the final Elimination Chamber match of the night. The winner of the Rey Mysterio/Dolf Ziggler match will join The Undertaker, John Morrison, R-Truth, CM Punk, and Y2J. I wonder if Ziggler has a chance of win-hahaha I can't even finish that without laughing. Oh look Rey's in his legalize weed wrestling gear. What in the bluest of blue hells two commercial breaks, if Todd or Matt broke out a Cole-like "vintage", I'd swear I'd get a hard-on that could cut diamonds. Oh yeah the match, it's not to shabby so far either. (Meanwhile after the match)Whata freaking match! Ziggler needs to be pushed in the ICC title picture! That Powerslam he threw on Rey was great! And Rey did a great job in the match to boot even with the two grueling matches he had last week on SD! and at the Royal Rumble good for you Rey. The final person in the SD! WHC Elimination Chamber. An easy 7/10 or 3.5/5 stars! *Claps for Ziggler and Mysterio*
Now it's time for Cutting Edge with The New Great One, The Ultimate Opportunist, The Rated R Superstar, Edge! The music hits, the pryo goes off and Edge is back on SD! hosting his talk show. He recaps his injury, and how he defied the odds, and beat up the Pale White Yonder on RAW. Jericho! Always nice to see him..well anywhere anytime in the WWE. He whines about being the one who deserved to win the Rumble, and Edge is sick of Y2J altogether and f***ing punks him out in the middle of the ring! Yeah, and now CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society! Serena, oh boy, she is nice to look at. And at then end of Punks spiel , *Bong!* RVD is back..not really it's The Undertaker! Spear on Y2J by Edge, choke slam to Punk by 'Taker, and Edge/Undertaker stare down to end another very very good Smackdown!
Line of the night is by Todd Grisham- "This could be Matt Hardy's biggest win in years!"
I gave RAW an unofficial 8/10 this week. So I'll also give Smackdown an 8/10 as well. Not because it was better or worse, just because it was as good as RAW. I f***ing love Smackdown!
Now onto the only thing that keeps me up with the crap on TV I never watch, but laugh at the stupidity of, The Soup hosted by Joel McHale. I love this show and every week has at least two of the funniest thing I hear the whole week, and even thought it's on the E! Network it's the best clip-show on TV. I can't get enough of it every week, and even the bad jokes are good. Definitely worth the watch each week.
A Tyra Show promo line: "5 Women, 10 Vagina's"
The Soup promo line edited: "6 Women (Including Tyra)...10 Vagina's"
^ LMFAO
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