Saturday, February 27, 2010

Cop Out [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Cop Out opened this weekend and with the exception of Shutter Island it's one of the first movies I wanted to see that came out in 2010. Due to me not being able to find a good torrent for Shutter Island yet, Cop Out is the first movie in theaters I've seen in 2010. The Crazies is the third movie I wanna see cause it's a Romero remake, it'd better please and attempt to frighten me.

Anywho onto the movie. It's directed by Kevin Smith, probably my favorite director/actor ever, So you know it's gonna be unconventional. We start out with Jimmy (Bruce Willis) and Paul (Tracy Morgan). We find out it's the 9 year anniversary of them being partners. They ruin an undercover operation and get a 30-day no pay suspension. But Jimmy has to pay for his daughter Ava's (Michelle Trachtenburg) wedding so he needs the money. He can't do anything about it so he decides to sell is vintage baseball card, worth about 80k, to pay for the wedding and have 30ishK left over for himself. As Jimmy is selling the card in a card shop, two thieves bust in and taze the owner and Jimmy, stealing all the money and valuables. All the while Jimmy is outside trying to get a hold of his wife Debbie (Rashida Jones), cause he always thinks she's cheating on him. The rest of the movie is Jimmy and Paul trying to get the vintage card back so his Ex-Wife's new husband Roy (Jason Lee), doesn't pay for the wedding. Along the way they meet a parkour thief (Sean William Scott), a girl from Mexico whose been in a trunk for two days (Ana de la Reguera), and a Mexican drug-lord [who loves baseball] and wants to expand his practice.

My thoughts, it was funny as hell. I know it's not gonna win any Oscars or anything. But really, what comedies really do anymore? I think this is the best Bruce Willis movie I've ever seen. Yes, better than Die Hard 1/3. His seriousness, in a funny demeanor, to counter act Tracy's bat craziness is amazing. And in some of the scenes with Tracy/Sean his facial expressions and him playing along make the scene even better. If Tracy Morgan could get into a serious role he'd bore me to death. But let him bring his crazy self into a Kevin Smith comedy and give him a gun. It's pure gold in my book. Sean William Scott is the last guy I'm talking about. Him and Tracy in every scene are funny as all hell together, espically when they get on the same page and "homo" it up. Not to mention when when he's in the jail cell and repeating everything the bad-ass sweater knitter says it was pure awesome. I've watched My Name is Earl seasons 1-4 in the past month so seeing Jason Lee back on the screen was a nice surprise too.

Anywho I see that Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic have given this movie bad rating. 20% and 32% respectively. But I disagree I think, while it was cliche almost the whole movie, the average story combined with Willis/Morgan/Scott's on screen chemistry made it an ok flick. I may be a little biased toward Kevin Smith, but it doesn't mean it's not a good comedy to watch 2-3 times a year. Now go onward and laugh your ass off at Tracy Morgan playing an insane cop.

Rating for Cop Out: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Smackdown Lowdown! 2/26/10

The best wrestling show on TV starts off with an Elimination Chamber recap of HBK costing Taker the World Heavyweight Championship. Cut to the arena with nerdy Todd Grisham (but not Vintage Nerd like Cole is (Thanks for posting Maryse)) and awesome Matt Striker. Cue the master of the English language our new World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho! He's the new champ as evidence by the cameraman zooming in on the title and panning between himself and the title. Cue Edge and he asks why Jericho thinks he the best in the world, but notices doubt in Y2J's eyes, blasphemy. He then proceeds to tell him after he beat The Rock and Stone Cold in one night- spear, beat the Undertaker two times in a row- spear, when he won the elimination chamber- spear spear spear spear. Y2J is then told that he thinks he sees Edge's face before he goes to sleep, before he get's his coffee, and if he brings that same attitude to Wrestlemania he'll get, guess what, one more spear. Jericho said he'll never get speared again and sucker punched Edge. He then goes for Codebreaker but Edge holds on to the ropes. Crafty Mr. Edge. Then he hits a spear and the health care bill doesn't pass in the senate...oh wait, I mean Jericho's claim is short lived.

Dolph Ziggler beat John Morrison and R- Mr.Narsisstic-Truth w/David Otuga in a triple threat Money in the Bank qualifier match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Have you Googled David Otunga yet? Shame if you haven't. Anywho first half everyone working on each other. Before commercial Truth slung himself over the top rope onto Ziggler and it looked like he landed hard, and we go to commerci...NO swerve Truth throws Ziggler back in the ring, but takes a running knee by Morrison who quickly covers Ziggler for a two count. Now the commercial, WTF WWE? We're seasoned to people fall out to the floor, take a commercial break. Step it up from now on, k? Anywho Morrison f***ed the ring post with his shoulder during the commercial break. End match Ziggler hits a powerslam (Looks at Cole and Todd) for a two, Truth throws an inside cradle on Ziggler which Morrison breaks up and goes to work on Ziggler. Hits a back heel kick on Ziggler, but Truth put Morison in a school boy for a two. Then blasts Morrison with a big boot and Ziggler breaks it up at two. Truth with a jaw breaker on Ziggler and then hits the Lie Detector on Morrison which is broken up. Then Ziggler covers Morrison for a two. Ziggler and Morrison to the top rope, then Truth joins them to make an inverted Oreo, and Ziggler's the first to fall and smacks his head hard on the ring apron. Truth goes for a superplex on Morrison but he turns it into a super-sunset flip into a powerbomb. Morrison then hits Starship Pain on Truth, but Ziggler pulls him off at two nad Ziggler covers Truth for the win. Whata kick-off match for Smackdown this week. *Claps for Truth, Morrison, and Ziggler*

The HBK/Undertaker package is shown and they snuck in a RAW recap about Taker accepting the challenge and making it Career vs Streak. Calling it match of the year now.

Michelle McCool w/ Layla beat Mickie James-Canton (WC) in a special referee match for the WWE Women's Championship via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
The special guest ref is "Icky Piggy" Vicky Guerrero. End match Mickie get's pulled off the apron and dominated by McCool, who goes for a powerbomb but Mickie turns it into a head scissors take over. Offense is hit and Mickie has the pin on McCool, but Vickie's fat a** falls out of the ring and breaks her a**. All the while Layla rubs the worse thing she's ever touched. Mickie rolls up McCool in the ring, but takes a slap from the ref, nice, love a ref that calls it down the middle. Then McCool hits a straight kick OUTTA NOWHERE! for the 1-2-3. New champ, new champ, new champ...meh. Sorry was hoping to be able to put "(Thanks for posting AJ Stlyes)", but McCool didn't win with Faith Breaker. Darn it.

Kane vs Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) in a Money in the Bank qualifier: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I love Drew's entrance, wait he speaks! He's undefeated in the WWE, not a man has brought him down yet. He proved it when he beat Kane at Elimination Chamber. After he wins tonight he'll go onto win MitB and the prophecy will be fulfilled as he'll be the undefeated World and Intercontinental Champion. End match, Kane takes a huge clothesline to get a two. Drew then puts Kane in a reverse chin-lock and then switches it to a front face lock and get's slammed cause of it. Kane mounts dome offense and hits two running clothelines in the corner and then a side walk slam for a two. He climbs the ropes and misses with the flying clothesline, and Drew hits the Zig Zag on Kane for a 2. Todd it's ok, you're kind-of new. Kane throws some shoulder blocks in the corner and takes a back elbow. Kane set's of Drew for a chokeslam which he get's out of but takes a big boot. A kick out tough and Drew kicks Robinson as he runs by. Drew set's up The Future shock, but Kane put's him on his own back and Drew tries a cover but Kane hits a second big boot for the three count. Welcome to your first loss, don't turn into Jimmy Wang Yang. Who's that guy? Yeah we don't know either. Drew flips out after the match. Nothing more to this match.

Welcome One Who Carries Much Gold. ShowMiz will defend their titles against anyone in the WWE, but they don't have a Wrestlemaina match yet. So Teddy get out here and find them a suitable tag team to face. Buckle Up Teddy! comes out and doesn't disappoint by setting up Edge vs The Miz later tonight. I'm giddy and clapping wildly.

Shelton Benjamin beat CM Punk w/Luke Gallows/Serena in a Money in the Bank qualifier via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Cue the best stable of people in the WWE right now CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Serena. Yeah least a good person from ECW made it to SD! End match Shelton get's out of the figure four around the neck and hits a predy Norther Lights Suplex for a two. He mounts more offense and hits a super hammerdrop from the top rope. He missed a splash in the corner and takes a straight kick to the head from Punk which get's a two. Running knee lift into a bulldog which was countered. Gallows is on the apron at this point and distracts Shelton. While Punk set's up the GTS Rey comes out from under the ring and face plants Luke. It distracts Punk enough to let Shelton hit pay dirt for the three. Punk is livid ad Rey waves good bye to him as we go to commercial. I'll wave to Rey cause after WM he'll be going away for awhile, to Mexico..haha just kidding he's getting knee surgery and taking HGH.

RAW Rebound. I'll just post the link to my RAW recap Layin' Down the Raw. Enjoy. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/02/layin-down-raw-22210.html

Edge beat The Miz (United Staes/Unified Tag Team Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
No jokes, I think this'll be a great match till someone interferes. Belly to belly suplex into the bridge, just a smexy move by Edge! Miz throws Edge into the ring post off the apron to take us to commercial. See I knew Samckdoqwn would make it up. End match Miz has a rear chin lock on Edge, he escapes, but get's a shoulder knock down and a boot for his troubles. Miz starts working on Edge's neck and back and hits his infamous clothesline into the corner. Miz top rope, goes for a hammer but Edge catches Miz into a one man flapjack. Side Russian leg sweep by Edge. Cut to Dainel Bryan who's watching in the back. Edge knocks down Miz and then hits a sit down DDT for a two. Damn everyone's using the Zig Zag tonight. Miz sets up the Skull Crushing finale but gets a Edgecution aka Impaler DDT. Then Edge sets up and hits the Spear on Miz for the pinfall.

Smackdown: 7/10
Last Week: 7.5/10
The matches were good and so were the promos. Had it not been for the Triple threat I would've given the show a lower rating as Edge/Miz and Punk/Shelton were good and alright and Kane/Drew was only ok. Good show, looks like it set up Rey/Punk match we've been expecting this year at Wrestlemania too. It's 30 days away, I'm excited.

Random Jesus News
I was shocked to read to that Maria was future endeavored today. The "dumb bimbo" had been with the WWE for like 5 years. She was unrightfully crowed 2009 Diva of the year, compete on the Celebrity Apprentice for the WWE, and just had a smexy photoshoot on WWE.com. Well I won't miss her too much, too bad she never held a title. I felt she deserved one for all her time in the WWE, but meh. Helms got released too, but I figured that since he's only been on TV once since the arrest and two of the four Hardy Show guys are with TNA (Jeff/Shannon). So I expect to see him there soon. Burchill had good match but no gimmick and one they split him and Katie Lea up I knew there was no hope for him. Pirate Burchill a couple years back was awesome. Don't know why Katie's still employed, she'll be gone soon. Scott was a soild ref and had a nice part in the Punk/Undertaker storyline and I thought he did well as a ref. I won't miss him, but he was a good ref.

As always suggest to me stuff to write, I'm really uncreative when it comes to ides for original stuff

Thanks for reading FJ Disciples!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The NXT Notes 2/23/10 [Premiere Edition]

Here we are, the next evolution of the WWE, NXT. Where we pair veterans, party boys, and paparazzi whores with WWE "pros" to see who can make it in the WWE. Get used to me making up bad, sometimes good, nicknames for all the rookies I deem fit as well. Anywho from where ever it was taped here's The NXT Notes.

Michael "Vintage" Cole himself, and Josh Matthews, who apparently was in Tough Enough back in the day, are the announcers. Matt Striker, WWE's best announcer is the host, good, I'm fine with everyone. And I love how Striker plays up the fact they're rookies. Sorry Byron, maybe Joey has a job for you at WWE.com. CAT FIGHT! Shuttie Joey, ECW's dead twice now.

Anywho onto the show as we start out with the 8 NXT rookies in the back. Enter The Miz, alright. The Miz calls out his rookie from the line, the incomparable Bryan...err...Daniel Bryan. He tells him he a bland piece of meat and to go cut a promo in the ring and create an amazing catchphrase. If it's not good he'll simply slap some personality into him. "I Came to Play" hits and Bryan comes down to the ring. He apologizes for The Miz and tells us all he wanted Bill Regal as his mentor. At this point Miz comes out at he's not happy at all. Bryan tells us all he's been competing all around the world for the last ten years, and then calls Miz out for being a former reality star, even though NXT is the WWE equivalent to a reality show, nice. The Miz is pissed as all hell and told him he was supposed to have the catchphrase like his. Enter the first time Miz calls him self awesome on WWE NXT. Bryan then busts back with the corny, but effective, "When we're in the ring you can tap, or snap". Miz laughs at him tell him he's terrible at life and then slaps him in the face, like he said he would, to end the segment. Love it already, great way to open the series and pretty much guarantees Miz/Bryan feud after NXT.

Christan/Heath Slater beat Carlito/Michael Tarver in a tag team match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Carlito, good old "Spit or Swallow", comes out with Michael Tarver. Carltio tells us that Tarver will win cause Carlito is a veteran or something boring, cue our first in depth profile on the rookies. I like these camera on one guy and letting them tell their story. He talks about how they call him "Mr. 1.9 Seconds" cause he can knock a guy out in that amount of time, not really any other good things come out of his promo, I don't wanna see him in the WWE. Cue Christan and Heath Slater, and they get a huge pop, well Christian get's a huge pop. Video interview number two, Go! Heath tells us he's a rock star without the instruments. Heath is f***ing charismatic as all hell and you can tell he loves what he does in the ring and in this business. He's the second rookie I like from last night. Anywho there was a match and he's what happened to end it. Christian goes for a Killswitch on Carlito, he slips out and tires to hit a reverse springboard back elbow, but Christian catches him to go for a second Killswitch and Carlito slips out and tags in Tarver. Carlito tells Tarver to Irish whip him into Christian whose in the corner. Christian get's his boot up though, and Heath pulls Carlito outta the ring. Which let Christian finally hit the Killswitch on Tarver for the three count. Solid first match on NXT, and very WWECW-esqe during 2009 till the end. Solid action, and nothing amazing, but good in-ring stuff none the less.

As we go into the break we see Darren Young aka "Unh-Se-Unh-Se-Unh-Se" talking to a disturbed Straight Edge Society. I was laughing the whole time. Then cut to Mr. Narcissistic R-Truth talking to his rookie David Otunga.

David Otunga beat Darren Young in a singles match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Straight Edge Society comes out with Young and they obviously hate the guy. They cut to a Punk promo rather than Young, he was told us he didn't even know why he's on this show and if Young wants to be mentored he can become straight edge and join Punk. Ahhhh F*** R-Truth is still singing he damn song out to the ring, and Mr. Hudson (No not the artist from the UK) doesn't like it either as he makes it to the ring in about 10 seconds. Another story from a NXT rookie is up now. Otunga tell us how he's better than all of us cause he goes to award shows, parties and has been to meet the President...twice, Google him. Amazing, love the guy he's the third guy on the premiere I liked. I wanna see him more in the ring. Anywho quick match, probably shouldn't have rated it but the CM Punk/David Otunga promos deserve something. After a quick pin attempt by Young, he get's blasted by a spinebuster or ura-nage for the 1-2-3.

Next a RAW Rebound and a perfect place to plug my blog about RAW each time WWE makes me watch recaps cause they assume we don't watch all the show. Anywho, here's a link Layin' Down the Raw for Monday's episode. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/02/layin-down-raw-22210.html

Another commercial which leads into the new World Heavyweight Champion, and best in the world at what he does Chris Jericho and his rookie, The Brit with a Flower, Wade Barrett come to the ring. Y2J tells Barrett to introduce him and but he sucks up in that British accent and Chris told him that all he wanted to be is introduced. Lol. He does and the 5th commercial of this hour long show hits. F***ING A**! Just give me Bryan/Jericho already!

Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) beat Daniel Bryan in a singles match via submission: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
The Miz and Bryan come out, but Bryan blats past him and doesn't let him lead him to the ring. Bryan offers a hand shake to start the match. They do this before every match in ROH in case you didn't know. If you did you'd better tell somebody (Thanks for posting X-Pac and Road Dogg). Of course Jericho slaps it away and takes a couple dropkicks for his troubles. Bryan tries to charge Jericho in the corner but he moves and hits a dropkick of his own. He then kicks Bryan in the back of the head to control the match going into an interview segment with Wade Barrett by Strike mid-match. Weird as hell, but he asks him what he can learn from the best, Wade starts listing off Y2J's awesomeness, and but Striker reiterated what Wade could learn and he says some kind-of answer we all expected. Sorry I don't remember what all the rookies say all that time, sue me! (Thanks for posting person who sued Wendy's for finding a finger in their chili) There's a match going on in ring and Bryan dodges a shoulder block in the corner sending Jericho into the ring post. Bryan hit's offense on Jericho and sends him to ring side. Bryan then gets a head of steam and tries to hit Jericho with a suicide dive through the ropes. Jericho part side steps and part powerslams Bryan into the announce table. That s*** had to hurt like hell. Back in the ring Bryan locks in a STF/Ankle Lock submission on Jericho and he's in pain and hard pressed to get to the ropes. Which he does, Bryan breaks the hold and Jericho hits a Codebreaker, OUTTA NOWHERE, but can't capitalize on the cover. He get's up and taunts the crowd before he lock in a Lion Tamer, not the Walls of Jericho (glares at Cole), for the tap out.

Standout Stars of the Night:
1. Bryan Danielson- Glad to finally see you in the majors man
2. The Miz- Keep up the good promo work, your a busy man now-a-days)
3. Chris Jericho- The WHC being a mentor/having an amazing match on the C-Show, coupled with all the other stuff you. You'd never see HHH do this...
4. David Otunga- Best NXT rookie promo cutter by far, I wanna see him in the ring more
5. CM Punk- Simply for his facial expressions/attitude towards Young, lmfao

NXT: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: n/a
I thought it was a great show, three good promo packages, one great one from Punk, and two solid/great matches. Cole having that heel-like pissy rant at all us internet bloggers cause we love Bryan was epic. Hey Cole, you did fine last night, but where's the "Vintage" I'm always looking for? Anywho good start to what should be a good season of NXT. There are questions though. How long is a NXT season? How long till CM Punk does an intervention on Darren Young? Will Cole ever say vintage on Tuesday nights?

Suggest to me stuff to write and I'll get right on it. <--- See what I did thar, clever hunh?

Anywho thanks for reading everyone as always!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Layin' Down the Raw 2/22/10

Live from Indianapolis, on the heels of a great Elimination Chamber, where the best in the world at what he does Chris Jericho is the World Heavyweight Champion, and John "Superman" Cena gets screwed out of the WWE Championship by Vince, Batista, and Phil, here's Layin' Down the Raw!

And we start out RAW the right way the new WHC, Y2J! He's going to Wrestlemania! Y2J chats abound as he brags, rightfully so, that he beat five of WWE's top stars including the Deadman twice, and yes in case you didn't know Y2J is champ and going to Wrestlmania! Cue Edge's music, and OUTTA NOWHERE he spears Jericho. Then proclaims Y2J is going to Wrestlemania to face him, Edge! Now the Superman the White Rapper's music hits and storms down to the ring. Now Vince has screwed Bret, Cena, and the Berzerker. Still no idea how he didn't make it. He get's straight to the point, yelling already and demands his rematch. Cue Mr. No Chance in Hell and he's all about the business. He hired Batista to take out Bret, and in return Batista (and Phil)get a WWEC match anytime he wants. It's not personal just business. Cena is yellig, like he always does and says a no no PG word. Vince sets up one match for tonight for Superman. If Cena loses The Pale White Yonder faces Batista and Phil at Wrestlemania, but as we cut to commercial the shocker is revealed that Cena's opponent is Batista.

Maryse vs Gail Kim in a singles match for the vacant Divas Championship: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Short 4 minute match to start off RAW. Some good offense. End match, Gail misses her finisher due to Maryse holding onto the ropes. Maryse goes for The French Kiss but Kim turns it into a jack-knife for a long two. Some offense is hit as Gail climbs to the top rope she push kicks Maryse and Maryse ducks under Kim in the corner and Kim misses a flying cross-body. Maryse looks dazed in the corner, and Kim is bleeding from the mouth. Their both up at about the 6 count. Gail climbs on Maryse's shoulders in the opposite corner and looks as if she's going for a Victory Roll, but is hung up on the top rope into a French Kiss for the 1-2-3. Best pin ever get's Maryse the Divas Championship for the second time.

Diva bull riding tonight like I called, Eve better win and get a title shot, or one of her boobs pops out. Bad hosts talking unnaturally doing a segment it the point of this as Jillian the never on TV in a match diva get's slapped. Oh look Randy is looking confused, probably cause he watched that last segment. Cody is obviously trying to blame Ted for costing Randy the WWEC last night. Orton says it's his fault and that he set up the six man tag match Legacy is in later tonight to show us that their on the same page. In comes The $500,000 Dollar Man and asks how it went and asks if Mr. Lisp and himself are sticking to the plan, they are.

Team World Unity (Kingston/Tatsu/Bourne) beat Legacy (Orton/Rhodes/DiBiase) in a Tag Team match via pinfall by Evan Bourne: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Yoshi Tatsu has signed with RAW, have fun being buried in 3-5 minute matches Mr. Cardiac Kid. Look Cody did his old World Tag Team Championship partners move. (Thanks for posting Hardcore Holly) No to the floor cut to commercial spot? F*** YOU RAW! Controlled Frenzy @8:45 CST! End match, Orton end and scoop slams Kingston three times. Mr. Identity Confused fight back but takes a European Style Uppercut, and knee Vintage backbreaker @8:47 CST! Rhodes tags himself in and Orton gives him a DDT off the ropes for his troubles. Ted gets in Randy's face on the outside and takes an RKO. Meanwhile in the present, in the ring Tatsu is tagged in and hits Cody with two knees in the corner, and snap-mare rolls-through with Cody and gives him a straight kick in the corner. He tags in a ready Evan Bourne who hits Air Bourne (a Shooting Star Press for those who don't know, it's been about 4 months since I've seen him hit it) for the three count. My God remember this pin fall by Evan, you won't see on for at least another month and a half.

A nice video package is shown of HBK and Takers epic WM25 match, Undertaker telling Shawn no to his rematch. HBK now has to win the Rumble to get his rematch. They show Shawn eliminating his 6 people and Batista making the heartbreaking elimination from the rumble match. There's not plenty of other stars for HBK to face at Wrestlemania. We cut to HBK losing DX's Unified Tag Team Championship to ShowMiz and finally to last night when he costed Taker the World Heavyweight Championship in the Smackdown! Elimination Chamber.

Out comes HBK to cheers and boos, hardly ever hear that for Mr. Cowboy Michaels. He says he has simple explanation for what he did and he knows his decision isn't very popular. Apparently he reads The John Report so he's heard the rumors of 'Taker being on RAW. For every action there's a consequence he tells us and he's prepared for it, cause Undertakers music hits as soon as he's done talking. At least his pyro didn't burn him tonight, hope your ok Deadman. Mark tells Shawn is has his attention. Shawn tells us that the match is widely regarded as the best WM match of all time. He made one mistake that cost him his perfect match. And since Taker has been ignoring him he had to get his attention by making him lose the WHC. He says he knows Undertaker wants to take him out now, and implores him to accept his Wrestlemania challenge, which he does. But Shawn has to put something up as well. Undertaker has his streak, while HBK puts up his career. Shawn accepts saying, if can't beat 'Taker at Wrestlemania, he has no career.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, they sent Christian to RAW! Those mother f***ers! Anywho he'll compete in the first Money in the Bank Ladder Match Qualifier next on RAW.

Christian beats Carlito in the first Money in the Bank qualifier match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
It's Captain Charisma vs Mr. Spit or Swallow. Christian stars with a slap but Carlito drops Christian on the apron for a two. Carlito then goes on the offensive. Christan turns the tide with a one man flap jack, and slaps Carlito again and hit a missile dropkick for another 2. But misses a flying cross-body, ducks a Carlito clothesline and hit a reverse DDT for another two. Some more offense by Carlito and a swinging neckbreaker get's a long two. Carltio sets up Christian for a springboard reverse elbow but is caught into an almost Killswitch. But Carlito get out, but in turn get's thrown into the ring post. Christian pull him out and hit the Unprettier aka Killswitch for the three, to make Christian the first Money in the Bank competitor at Wrestlemania 26.

Diva Bull-riding Contest, on Berserk the Bull is up now. go Eve, it the only person I care about in the contest. Oh Eve Torres-Day as a cowgirl, look at those jeans, oh looks at them bouncing around, I'm dying readers. And Eve makes the 8 seconds. She could make it more riding my bull. (Thanks for posting Jerry Lawler) Kelly Kelly, who apparently bought a brown cow to get chocolate milk, makes it the 8 seconds too. I don't care though. Now it the Bella Whores riding something next, at least they're used to it. They make the 8 second too. Out comes ShowMiz to save us all from Diva PBR. A yodeling contest idea is thrown around as Big Show is challenged to ride the bull. Miz totes him as the best bull rider ever, rightfully so, and Show has trouble getting on the bull and only rides for about 4 seconds. The guest hosts throw around zingers at ShowMiz while Big Show is harboring resentment towards Berserk. He then walks over and KNOCKS THE F*** OUT the bull. Ty and Mrs. Yodel then the the awesome team they'll be facing the team who cleaned the floor with them last week, The Kool-Aid Brigade (Thanks for posting John Canton) aka MVP/Mark Henry.

ShowMiz (The Miz/Big Show) beat The Kool-Aid Brigade (MVP/Mark Henry) in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Bryan Danielson sighting @9:37CST. The OHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH moment is recapped from Elimination Chamber last night. End match, MVP tags Henry in as Miz tags Big Show in. They throw some punches and Show is whipped into the corner. Henry splashes Show in the corner but the ill effects are showing. The both have trouble getting up. Miz lures MVP into the ring and Big Show helps distract the ref. Miz tries to hit a flying cross body on Henry but it caught into the Worlds Strongest Slam. But as Mr. Kool-Aid gets up we have out second KNOCK THE F*** OUT moment of the night getting Big Show the pinfall for the win.

Windi Richter is the 3rd inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. She's from Dallas, Texas (w00t!) and she's most noted for beating the Fabulous Moolah for the Women's title after she was holding it for 33 years. This 5x Womens Champion is now in the practically pointless WWE HoF.

Recap, yes again, *sigh* of Bret saying good bye to the WWE and getting his leg smashed by a bad Women driver. I think it gets better with every recap. Hey look is Vinnie Mac! He really wanted to face Bret for the competition and it wasn't his fault he got injured. Vince invited Bret back for one last moment in the sun next week on RAW. Will Cena make it to the Wrestlemania main event? Will Cena beat Batista? Will Cole but out anymore Vintage's tonight? We'll find out next!

Weed can't be PG can it? Well it won't e with Cheech and Cong are hosting next week. Free weed for the audience! (Thanks for posting Jeff Hardy and RVD). Also Ted Jr. vs Randy Orton is set up for next week. Who'll win? Will Legacy break up? Will Orton's voices tell him to spit in Ted face during the match? Find out next week on the longest running episodic television show! Thanks Cole for for reminding me, I hadn't known since it has been for about two years now.

John Cena beat Batista in a singles match via DQ, so Cena is in the Wrestlemania main event: No Rating
Look Cenas in good shape, it almost as if he wasn't in an Elimination Chamber match last night. Good job on selling being tired Superman. (Thanks for posting all these times DC Comics) Batista and Phil take their time to the ring. We don't wanna rush Batista, cause if he hurries up he'll tear a bicep or pull a hammie. Batista stall to start the match and low-blows Cena about a minute in. He then spears him and beats on him. As Batista is walking up the ramp he sees Cena getting up he runs back to the ring, tearing a quad along the way (Thanks for posting Triple H) and throws Cena into the steel ring post, then into the barricade, and then the ring post a second time. He's still not done as Batista comes down the ramp a second time and grabs a chair. Batista blasts Cena in the back with it and waiting for the inevitable get up from Cena and hit's him a second time. The dumba** get's up and third time and receives a third chair shot. In the most stupidity I've ever seen on TV Cena tries to get up a 4th time and takes a fourth chair shot. The serious voices are busted out as Cole/King recap what just happened to Cena. We end a solid RAW with Batista standing tall at the top of the ramps as Cena writhes in pain on the outside of the ring.

RAW: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 5.5/10 or 2.75/5 Stars
I liked RAW, solid matches, and great storyline moving going into Wrestlemania. Plus we already have three matches, and Money in the Bank qualifiers have gotten going as well. Edge/Y2J will be epic, Batista/Cena is moving along nicely and I'm actually enjoying it, and HBK/Undertaker is quite intense as it's Career vs Streak this year. No Triple H or Sheamus on the show contribute to the rating. Guess they got caught up working out at the gym today. Anywho it was a decent RAW and I didn't feel like gouging my eyes out while I was watching it.

Nobody has suggested me anything to write, but I'll keep asking anywho. So if you have any suggestions on what I could write, send 'em my way.

Also I finally got comments on my blog, so rejoice FJ-Readers.

"The NXT Notes" will be up Wednesday morning just like The ECW Exclamations were.

As always thanks for reading everyone.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

WWE Elimination Chamber 2010 Picks

Here are my picks for WWE Elimination Chamber later tonight. Should be a solid PPV, cause we're on the Road to Wrestlemanina. Thanks for reminding us about 5 times every show this week WWE announcers.

Sheamus (WWEC) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston in a RAW Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship

Winner: Sheamus or Triple H

I can't see anyone else walking out the champ. The identity confused because of a Boston accent, Jamaican theme music and being billed from Africa Kofi Kingston has been sliding down to mid-card status ever since he botched the end of his match with Orton a month or so back. The Slithering Viper (They'll say it twice tonight at least) Orton and DiBiase, with Cody Rhodes are falling apart and WWE wants a Legacy break up soon, so I'd guess DiBiase eliminating Orton, Kofi eliminating DiBiase and then later in the match Kofi get's booted. Batista's not in the SmackDown EC match either and they're gearing up for the inevitable Batista/Cena match at WM and I don't see it being for the WWEC or either men having straps for that matter. They've been talking good ol' Hunter vs the Pale White Yonder for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 26 since like December so I can only assume it'll involve the two of them. With either Sheamus losing and getting his rematch at 'Mania or Sheamus winning and Triple H winning some kind-of number 1 contenders bout on RAW.

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The Undertaker (WHC) vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio in a SmackDown! Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship

Winner: Chris Jericho or The Undertaker/Chris Jericho or Shawn Michaels

If John Morrison can't compete I see HBK getting in the EC in his place. But that's only if JoMo can't compete or get's mysteriously attacked in the back. Anywho, I don't think JoMo would walk out the WHC anywho. But yeah, he'll be champ in 2010. Do I really have to make a sentence? Mr. Narcissistic, R-Truth, won't win. Now onto out Pastor of Purity CM Punk and The Always Underdog No Matter What Rey Mysterio. Their new feud has started the past couple of weeks and there's been rumors the past month of Mask vs Hair at WM. So I think neither of them will win and/or eliminate one or the other and continue their feud to Wrestlemania. Onto my two picks, The Undertaker and Y2J. The past 3 weeks they've been building to an obvious Edge/Taker, Edge/Y2J for the WHC at WM26. With Edge wanting to beat 'Takers streak to end their feud from 2008. Or Y2J cause of the angle set up after their tag team break up and all the ridicule about being a coward/weak/injury prone. But yeah Y2J/Edge would be the most epic outcome of this match.

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Drew McIntyre (ICC) vs. Kane for the Intercontinental Championship

Winner: Drew McIntyre

Not even gonna elaborate, this is a short filler feud till new "recruits" from ECW to Smackdown. McIntyre is an easy pick. Get him in a feud the Ezekiel Jackson or Christian.

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Maryse vs. Gail Kim for the vacant Divas Championship

Winner and New Divas Champion: Maryse

I don't really mind who wins this match cause I like the in-ring styles of both. Gail Hasn't got the chance to shine in the WWE since her return and the build-up for this match. Maryse hasn't gotten any better (or anyworse) and I liked her first run as champ so I don't mind her winning either. But, I'll give the edge to Maryse cause she has the best PG WWE pin-fall cover.

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And here's the picks for my friend from another site. Here's Jon Currie's Elimination Chamber 2010 pick! It's very brief so give him break.

WWEC: Orton
WHC: Jericho, unless for some reason HBK enters and replaces Morrison.
ICC: McIntyre
Lackluster Butterfly Championship [<-- I lol'd at that]: Gail Kim (hoping I'm wrong. Maryse is the hotness).

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Send me ideas for columns and stuff. I wanna start writing more than just weekly show review so don't hesitate to speak up!

Thanks for reading everyone!

Friday, February 19, 2010

The Smackdown Lowdown! 2/19/10

Here we go! Taped on Tuesday night after the final ECW, from Kansas City, Missouri here's the Smackdown Lowdown!

We start the best way possible to start any WWE show with, the best in the world at what he does, Chris Jericho. He talks aboot how he is the foerunner in the WWE championship scene, starting back when he beat The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin back in the day. He then shows us how he beat the Undertaker 1-2-3 last week. Y2J said he proved The Deadman was merely a man and faces his problems, while all us hypocrites run away and hide. Cue Edge and his new t-shirt. He tells Jericho that he didn't show the whole reason why Jericho could hit the Codebreaker on The Deadman. He tells Y2J that he's not as good as he thinks he is, and that he almost wishes Jericho wins at Elimination Chamber, which is this Sunday (Thanks for posting Vince McMahon), so he can face him at Wrestlemania. Y2J says that when he wins Edge needs to stay away from him, apparently cause he's a zombie killer, cause only bad things will happen to him. As they're face to face the lights begin flicker, which distracts both men, but enough for Edge to spear Jericho OUTTA NOWHERE!

Kane beat Dolf Ziggler in a Singles Match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Yay we're revisiting a feud that went nowhere. Oh well, these two put on decent matches. About three minutes in, and it never fail, Kane clotheslines Ziggler over the top rope and we go to commercial. End match Kane is going for the Flying Clothesline when McIntyre comes out and distracts Kane. He misses the clothesline, and Ziggler slaps on the sleeper hold. Ziggler has to break the hold cause Kane got to the ropes. He slaps on the sleeper again. He slapped on more sleepers than a pimp slapped his hoes. But Kane throws him off and hits a chokeslam for the win. After the match Drew tries to hit the Future Shock but is denied as he slips out of the ring.

Cut to Rey in the back getting ready. He says the awesome Straight Edge Society gave him a beatdown of a lifetime and he'll probably get another one Sunday. And something in Spanish, and blah blah blah.

Cryme Tyme beat Trent Baretta/Calen Croft in a Tag Team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
They're from ECW, and most people don't like them but I like them. I like how C and B isolate an opponent and their in-ring move sets are good. End match JTG tags in Shad who goes off on Baretta and hits him with a running powerslam. Croft breaks-up the three count, and sends JTG over the tops rope. Next Croft get's plasted over the top rope too. Baretta hits a massive springboard missile dropkick on Shad, and then tries to hit a rope climbing DDT on Shad who blocks it. It sets up Shad to hit a one man High-Low on Baretta. WWE can have a decent tag division if Vince ever pulls his head out of his a**. But until then, expect a max of 6 tag teams total and one championship for all of them. Anywho, this was decent, and I generally like tag team matches.

Antonio Anuki in the WWE HoF. Already talked about it in my RAW blog.

Morrison throws a Tough Enough reference around as they R-Truth make fun of SES. Better than downhill skiing, funny as hell.

Straight Edge Society comes out to massive heat. My friend hates CM Punk. I think he's the best talker in the WWE right now. He wouldn't mind Kane winning against Drew this Sunday. Haha. Anywho you know the drill, the Pastor of Purity tells us we're all hopeless without straight edge, and that come this Sunday he'll be the Straight Edge World Heavyweight Champion once again.

Straight Edge Society (CM Punk/Luke Gallows) vs John Morrison/R-Truth in a Tag Team match
Morrison/Truth come out separate so I have to hear Mr. Narcissistic sing his own song to the ring. Remember when he was world champ in TNA. Well neither does anyone else. Whats up? My intolerance level of his new character. We have Taker's pyro hitting to freakout the EC combatants, as we go to commercial. Drat, those sneaky WWE writers send us to commercial without anyone going to the floor. End match, Gallows in the ring, blasted Morrison and hit Truth in the corner with a splash that got a two. Punk is tagged in kept Truth from the hot tag. Back in Gallows who beat down on Truth. Punk in and beats on Truth who finally tags in Morrison. Later, Morrison misses a kick to Punks head and hits the ring post. The ref ends the ref just like last week and JoMo get's beat on. Truth get's the Gallows Poll and Rey comes out to make the save only to take a backbreaker, an elbow, and a GTS. If I didn't know either Undertaker or Y2J was walking out champ.

Video of the terrible Bret car accident on RAW. I think it's funny as hell, an HD security camera and a woman driver. It was so bad it was good.

Teddy is watching Vickie get cottage cheese thrown on her laughing his a** off. When Vickie comes in and says something piggy. Mickie James-Canton comes in to apologize for feeding Vickie last week. She informs MJC that next week she'll defend the Womens Championship next week against McCool with Ms. Piggy herself reffing the match.

The Hart Dynasty beat The Jobberwalkies w/Maria in a mixed 6-person tag team match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
My friends word ring true again, I think Maria is better than Natalya, and The Hart Dynasty doesn't need a push. End match, Hart hits a Side Effect to get 2. Tyson tags in DH who pushes Matt into Maria who wasn't expecting a tag, but had her arm out ready for one. Anywho Nattie brings her in and hits a 360 Clothesline for the one, two, three as my friend freaks out. I love watching WWE with him.

The awesome Elimination Chamber package is shown, that we won't see again till next year. Oh well, I'll survive. (Thanks for posting, now defunct Survivor Series name)

Oh look Maria is complaining about losing. Must've been complaining for 5 years now. All while Matt is copping a feel and raping her with his eyes. Simply Flawless comes to stop the inevitable kiss, and said Matt could get cooties from Maria. Haha silly Michelle, he could only get herpes from her. (Thanks for posting Trojan condoms) Maria runs away and Matt Hardy follows like the night he ran from the cops.

Edge vs Batista in a singles match
Mr. Spotlight and Phil, his time traveling nose ring. Walk down to the ring. Edge comes out to a huge pop. Batista tires to leave again, but Edge calls him spineless. And I guess being a jelly-fish is what pisses Batista off. Batista knew a spear was coming. <-Insert you own that's what she said/hr plows all the diva jokes here. And since he went outside the ring, WWE cuts to commercial. Sweet. Nice spot where Batista get back body dropped onto the steel steps. End match Batista hits the spinebuster for a 2. He goes for a Batista Bomb but Edge counters into an Edgeicution for a two. Edge climbs to the top rope but get's knocked down. And Batista mocked Edge setting up for a spear. But Edge hits Batista with one instead! Light go out as Undertaker appears in the ring and Chokeslams Edge in revenge from last weeks spear.
After Taker walks up the ramp, Y2J hits a Codebreaker on Edge in retribution for the spear earlier in the night. We end the show with a very non-homo staredown between Undertaker/Jericho.

Smackdown!: 7.5/10
Last Week: 7.5/10
I'd normally give this 7, but it get's uped to last weeks levels due my friends thoughts on the WWE. Solid matches and storyline movement to make Elimination Chamber a PPV that should be good. BTW we're on the Road to Wrestlemania, I hadn't realized it yet thanks WWE for reminding me.

My Elimination Chamber picks should be up tomorrow.

Send me suggestions on what to write too. I love rejecting ideas.

Thanks for reading everyone, and have a good day/evening/whatever part of the day your reading this.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The ECW Exclamation 2/16/10

Yes it's the final episode of the new ECW, that had better matches/storylines than RAW the past 7 months. I would've never known unless Byron Saxston, who I assume is outta of a job now, and Josh Matthews, who I assume will go back to being a backstage segment b***h, weren't telling me every 2 minutes. Don't worry, you'll get your Todd Grishiam moment soon enough, Josh. Anywho here it is, my final ECW Exclamation ever...I think...until Vince brings it back in 2-3 years. Or Steph/HHH does cause Vince goes senile, haha old people.

Anywho, from Kansas City, here's the ECW Exclamation.

We open with about a 2 minutes ECW package with clips from the original ECW and the now ECW. I'm disappointed they couldn't get Jericho or Mysterio on the show since their the last two Original ECW on the WWE roster. Oh well, we knew Vince wouldn't let that happen.

ShowMiz (The Miz [United States Champion]/Big Show) beat Yoshi Tatsu/Goldust in a Tag Team match for the Unified Tag Team Championships: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
ShowMiz's mixed theme is growing on me, and I'm starting to like Big Show being the big man with a smaller talented guy in a tag team. I don't see how Yoshi/Goldi are a tag team, but they have good chemistry, they both have good move-sets, and they're good in-ring. Anywho end match, Tatsu hits a spinning elbow on The Miz, and get's a hot tag on Goldust. Who roars in the ring and hits two clotheslines, and drop down uppercut on The Miz. All leading into an inverted atomic drop, a modified bulldog, and finally a powerslam by Goldie the F-f-f-freak that was broken up at 1 thanks to a Big Show threatening to get in the ring. Tatsu charges Show you tosses him over the top ropes as if he were nothing. Meanwhile in the corner of the ring! Goldie is wailing on Miz on the second rope, and while the ref deals with Tatsu, Big Show gives Goldie a KTGO (Knock the gut out!) which leads to Miz hitting the Skull Crushing Finale on Goldust for the 1-2-3.

They cut to Tiffany, I'm still waiting for her to take her top off like she does for Playboy. She tells us something boring as Zack Ryder and Rosa interrupt. Ryder whines that he's not in the main event, Tiffany said it's cause he couldn't even beat Christian on Superstars. Rosa, whose character I'm really not liking at all unless she's a dumb Latina whore in real life too, starts yelling in Spanish and Tiff still won't let them in and Ryder says since it's Extreme rules he'll interfere anyways, shocking! (Thanks for posting Shockmaster or Goldust. Pick your poison) Then a Woo Woo Woo, You Know It catchphrase it thrown down. Eat it Tiffany...and take off that top.

Next we have the critically acclaimed talk show, The Abraham Washington Show, and Tony didn't stop laughing the whole segment. Love Tony and his A-HUH-HUH-HUH laugh. *Applause* I always do when that pops up on the tron. He announces that he asked Vince, who was probably asleep the whole time, for the best star on the WWE roster for the final AWS on ECW. Well the best superstar is apparently Abe himself. Who am I to argue, I think the Berzerker was a good gimmick, sue me. He tells RAW or Smackdown! to make room cause he's coming and so coincidentally Shelton's music hits as he says that, wierd hunh? Shelton tells us that he'll use what he learned in his second new ECW run on RAW or SD!. All the while Tony is laughing for absolutely no reason. A-HUH-HUH-HUH! Cue Vance Archer, my tattooed bro from Dallas, gotta keep the cheering in state. Archer/Benjamin get in each others face and Calen Croft and Trent Baretta, our 2010 Slammy Award winning Tag Team. Don't worry Phil (Batista's nose ring that can see into the future) confirmed it. These dude bros says something about Guitar Hero, and bong water when Big Vlads music hits. Hey Kozlof is still employed, I would've never noticed, he hasn't been around in months. Communist Convention in Russia I'd assume. (Thanks for posting USSR) He starts to talk in the ring an Tony does his best A-HUH-HUH-HUH of the night, and the crowd starts chanting "What?" Then for no apparent reason he takes out Archer, Croft, Baretta, and Abe's furniture. He almost got that deposit back on it, I feel your pain Abe. Vlad doesn't take out Shelton cause he saw the hate crime HBK did to Teddy Long on RAW. Oh maybe he's just a face now, that probably makes more sense, yeah.

Goooooooooooooo! Christian's music hits for the last time and it looks like he went to Tom Thumb in preparation for his ECWC Extreme Rules match against Big Zeke next. He cuts a promo where he said that when he came back, being put it ECW wasn't a demotion and how he was proud to work with Tommy Dreamer, and that some of the young talent, espically Yoshi Tatsu, has a bright future. He say's he's proud to be the longest reigning champion in the WWE, and that he's fighting for all the ECW Originals tonight.

Ezekiel Jackson w/William "Bill" Regal beat Christian in an Extreme Rules match for the ECW Championship: 7/10 or 3.5/5 stars
My God three weeks in a row ECW has used weapons, too bad Vince still hates the ECW ever so much. Jackson's music hits and Black Lesnar #2 is pumped for the match. Early match it's back and forth. First big spot was Big Zeke missing Christian, who was laying on the steel steps, with a trash can and Christian hits a missile drop kick off the steps through the trashcan on Zeke on the outside. Freaking nice. Mid-match Ryder comes out to interfere but fails which leaves Rosa and Christan in the ring. Holy f*** though! Tiffany comes blasting down the ramp and spears Rosa and throws Ryder/Rosa out. I saw panties, and Tiffany's a**, almost as good as he going topless. Don't worry, she'll let 'em breathe on TV sooner rather than later. I have faith. Anywho end match after the out to the floor commercial break by Tiffany. That's right ECW can pull one of these off too. Christian runs Regal out of ringside and works on Jackson. There is a table set up in the ring. But wait, OUTTA NOWHERE Regal is back BUT takes a Killswitch from Christian! Big Zeke is ready when Christian get's up and hit's the Black Bomb through the table for the 3 count. Grats Zeke, I hope you push continues on RAW or SD! And another congrats for being the last ECWC and the shortest reigning ECWC for under 3 minutes.

ECW: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I gave it a 4 out of 5 because it was a good show. Two matches that took up about 30-35 minutes of an hour long show. The talking segment in the middle was alright, and Tony's laugh is amazing. It also get's points just because it's the last ECW and that's something you don't see every week, I mean the end of an on-air WWE show. Good end to what was a very solid brand for the last 7 months. Now when do we get a Rise and Fall of ECW 2?

Also the whole night they were announcing NXT's "Rookies" and "Pros" who'll be competing in the new reality type show that's taking ECW's place next week. The contestants are listed below. I think it's a good concept, and I'm glad to see Bryan Danielson (now Daniel Bryan) in the WWE. Too bad Bret DiBiase and Low-Ki aren't in season one. Don't worry, they'll get on WWE soon....hopefully. Anywho here's the list of Pros and Rookies that'll be competing next week. Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, and Darren Young are three of the luckiest WWE developmental stars EVER to get to work with Jericho, Christian, and CM Punk. Also I'm hoping The Miz mentoring Daniel Bryan leads to them having a feud. Cause we all know Daniel Bryan has waaayyyyy more experience in-ring than Miz. Sorry nothing clever or funny to say in this paragraph.

1. Chris Jericho will mentor Wade Barrett
2. Matt Hardy will mentor Justin Gabriel
3. MVP will mentor Skip Sheffield
4. Carlito will mentor Michael Tarver
5. The Miz will mentor Daniel Bryan (a/k/a Bryan Danielson)
6. Christian will mentor Heath Slater
7. CM Punk will mentor Darren Young
8. R-Truth will mentor David Otunga (Thanks for posting Jennifer Hudson)

Anywho that's all I've got for today, thanks for reading!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Layin' Down the Raw 2/15/10

Happy President's Day everyone as RAW kicks off with some 15-year old singing the National Anthem. Hope they told Batista that the chick is underage, not that he cares. Boo yeah, it in the town where I was born, Des Moines, Iowa!

WWE Champion Sheamus beat Randy Orton in a Singles Match via DQ: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Sheamus' terrible music hits as we kick of RAW with a match. Is Vince dead? I mean RAW has had wrestling the past three weeks, and hardly any skits. Anywho The Pale Blue Yonder get's to the ring as the voices tell Randy to walk slow to the ring for his match. Slithering @ 8:08 CST! We're not even ten minutes into the show and Cole is busting out catchphrases. My God a person out to the floor spot ten minutes into RAW, it's gonna be good. Viper @ 8:13CST. End match, Sheamus huts the Blarney Stone and stomps on Orton. After beating on him in the corner, Orton mounts offense till a dropkick rocks Sheamus. A classic inverted backbreaker from Orton, as Orton looks to hit the RKO now and Sheamus ducks and roll-out to the floor. Orton throws him into the steel ring post and distracts the ref in the ring, but catches Rhodes hitting Sheamus. After match RKO on Rhodes, a Blarney Boot on DiBiase, then finally to leave Orton up alone and RKO to Sheamus. This finisherfest was awesome!

Bret was given time to talk by the RAW writers...I mean the guest host Jerry Springer, that's up next!

Video of package of last weeks Cena/Vince/Bret promo to end out RAW last week. Cue the famous Bret Hart theme as he comes out to address us, the WWE Universe. He informs us that Vince isn't here this week. But if he were he wait for him in all the logical place he'd be. He wanted to finish thing once and for all tonight on RAW. He said he came back to make peace with Vince, but all Vince has done is lie, kick and goon him. Bret screwed Bret, but Bret thinks Vince needs to get his a** kicked. Yeah, PG WWE has made me censor stuff. Bret saud he wanted one more Wrestlemania victory, but it won't happen due to more of Vince's lies. Victory is momentary, but excellence is forever. He then thanks the stars in back, the WWE Universe, and John Cena from the bottom of his heart. And finally he says "goodbye" to us. I didn't see this coming at all, hopefully something happens back stage and makes him stay. I really wanna see him slap that God damn sharpshooter on somebody. Oh look a bunch of jobber and the identity confused Kofi Kingston say goodbye to Bret on his way out. Cut back again to Cena pleading Bret to try and get that WM match still, to no avail. Then OMFG A CAR CRASH BY A WOMAN! (Figured) CRUSHES BRETS LEG! The random jobbers and Cena are back now, crowding the medical peoples way. The segment is so bad it's good and King even busted out the serious voice in concern for Bret.

The Kool-Aid Men (MVP/Mark Henry) beat Unified Tag Team Champions The MizShow (The Miz [USC]/Big Show) in a Tag Team Match via Roll-Up: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
MizShow's theme needs some work but it'll get better. And I'm glad to see the Kool-Aid promoters back together, still waiting for Henry to bust through a wall and yell "Oh YEAH", bust at least we're getting our thirsts quenched. Anywho, in our second match we have The Miz getting kicked out to the floor by MVP into a commercial. Twice already, Fat Jesus is happy. End match, Mark Henry get's DDT by Big Show. Show missed a second rope elbow on Henry, who tags in MVP. Big Show get's hit in the throat and took a facebuster, then a drive-by in the corner. MVP sets up for another kick across the ring and takes a superkick from Big Show for his troubles. Miz get's tagged in and covers MVP, but he reverses it into a pin of his own fro the 1-2-3! If I had Kool-Aid I'd be guzzling it down. Lame ending, IMO, but more solid action on RAW.

Jerry Springer up now, and Santino better be one of the ones with a secret relationship or I riot. Jerry comes out and this special edition of the Jerry Springer Show on RAW called Superstars Most Intimate Relationships Revealed. Kelly Kelly comes out first, and tell us she's pregnant and that she's a slut. Like we didn't already know. Santino comes out and called Jerry "Maury Povich", and was spouting how he is the Papa! But apparently he couldn't finish the job and went to Cole and King. Woah now more whores, The Bella Twins, and Brie is a man, and a cat fight ensues. Cue Masters and his dancing boobies. Eve Toress-Day comes out and starts another catfight, while King and Santino chant Jerry's names. ETD confesses she's been cheating on Masters with the Punjabi Jobber. Next the paternity test results, even though Santino said it only happened 3 days ago, no of this s*** is PG. And surprise, surprise Hornswoggle is the father. I thought he was only 12, guess I was wrong. Sprigner leaves cause WWE superstars a pic masters, twin trans-gender/transvestites, and giants. But, the jokes on them, cause this crazy s*** was planned (It's really not) and they have Springer's dirty little secret. Mae Young, and the makes out as everyone yells "Jerry" as the f***ed up segment end. I think I might give this RAW a 10/10 just for this.

Ted DiBiase beat Kofi Kingston in a Singles Match via Pin-Fall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
The identity confused man born in Boston, from Africa, with Jamaican theme music, verses the guys whose dad is the first inductee into the 2010 WWE HoF. End match, Kofi hits a hammer from the top rope, then a flying clothes line off the ropes, ending with a Boom Drop. Kofi stalks Ted looking for a stinger splash, but misses and the DiBiase sets up for a Dream Street for the pin-fall. Short, but we already know these two youngsters can wrestle.

Next Hall of Fame Inductee is Antoino Inkoi, a praised star from Japan and the US. He even participated in the unofficial first MMA match with Muhammad Ali. A fun, filler name for the WWE 2010 HoF.

That security camera really got a lot of details and looked as if it was mic-ready and in HD. Didn't know my native Iowaians could afford HD. Anywho more awesome serious voices from King.Cole as they state the obvious on how most likely Bret's leg is broken.

A great run down of the rules of the Elimination Chamber. No need to run it down, a good package.

Jerry Springer gave us his Final Thought as he stated after the Elimination Chamber next week things will really be looking clear heading into Wrestlemania 26.

My God it looks like the match might get started by, or before, 9:45 (CST) and it'll get a good amount of time. I'll have to see it believe it. (Thanks for posting Ripley and Jesus) Superman comes out to a huge pop (Well no s*** Matt), and it's like he has his own comic book series or something. Wait...what...I'm being told he's one of the stars of the new WWE Comic Books. Joy, even the my comics have to contain him now. And after the video package from two weeks ago Cena has a mic and there goes the match starting at 45 after the second hour. He wishes Bret well, and then takes aim at Batista and his lack of explanation of his actions and to find out Cena doesn't make threats. Look Batista's on the tron, and now he plays Polo along with being a Cowboy and a Golfer. He basically say Cena doesn't wanna f*** with him. Cena's not a dentist, and Batista thinks it's all funny but he's not laughing. Dave then informs us he'll be on RAW next week, and he's rooting for Cena at EC. Cena yell if he wants some, come get some, why's he always gotta yell in every promo. And out comes The Game to Motorhead and not The DX theme. Good Motorhead > Whoever Sings The DX Song. The match up next.

John Cena vs Triple H in Singles Match
Match started 52 minutes in eh...I was off by 7 minutes. I was close, good for me. My God Cena is doing wrestling moves in the early going, I'm bewildered. As expected the power game is dominating. HHH thrown outside, Cena dives at HHH and hits the barricade, and HHH tried to hit a Pedigree on the outside, but is countered into the back body-drop. Both men on the outside and we get a commercial. We're back and HHH has a sleeper on Cena, which Cena get's out of with shots to the gut. Hits the shoulder blocks, and the back suplex. Vintage @ 10:00 CST! HHH kicks out and hits Cena with a massive clothesline. Get's a long 2. HHH tries to hit a superplex, fails and then knocks Cena off balance, and goes for a second superplex which fails and Cena hits a top rope leg drop for a two. Cena goes for the STF, but HHH reverses it into a half Boston, and Cena counters the crab into a STF. HHH gets to the bottom rope. Cole has already blew a load three times in this match. Cena goes for the AA, HHH grabs the ropes, get out hits a high knee on Cena, and then another Vintage @ 10:03 CST! Triple H is setting up for the Pedigree when Sheamus hits a Barney Boot on HHH! Then he Blarney Boots Cena. And he's not done making his pale statement, he then give HHH the Celtic Cros....Razors Edg...his nameless finisher to end the show.

RAW: 5.5/10 or 2.75/5 Stars
It was a alright RAW. Promos were good, and I personally loved Jerry Springer on RAW. And Cena/HHH was a nice way to end RAW, with good action by both veteran superstars. It had good action, good storyline movement, and funny comedy. RAW has really stepped up the past month or so. And Elimination Chamber is looking to be a good PPV.

As always thanks for reading, and if you wanna suggest me topics to write on, please do so

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Top 10 "Love" Songs in My Collection

Yeah might as well, do a V-day blog. Here's my Tops 10 "Love" Songs in my music collection. I'm sure their not what your expecting, but I'm doing this anyway.

#10 Maroon 5- "Sunday Morning"- Easily Maroon 5's best song and paints a visual, and emotional picture of the Sunday Morning after finding your club-love, or however it happened the Saturday night before. Sultry singing, great slow pace, great gituar work, make this a love song for a married couple of 10 years waking up together Sunday morning, or even that passionate one-night stand that you both know will go nowhere.

#9 The Fray- "Enough For Now"- Love songs don't strictly have to be about marriage or boyfriends/girlfriends. I also consider a persons parents, or finding them after years of resentment, like in this Fray song. What I love about The Fray, their self titled album, is that every song tells a story. And this one is the best, easily. It's a man singing to his girl, about trying to fill in the gaps her father didn't. It's the ultimate sacrifice of a man to try and fill in a woman's life for her father, and that's love to me.

#8 The Notorious B.I.G- "Big Poppa"- The first one on my list that is specifically about club love as I'm calling it. Biggie is one of the best rappers ever, no doubt about that. But, if he wanted to bring it back and do a slow song for the ladies he could. His first of two famous slow songs, "Big Poppa", is a rap-ballad that shows off his skills, his possessions, his love for women and the fact he loved to be called "Big Poppa"..kinky. It also hinted at the fact that there were in fact ladies out there he'd wanna be with, and eventually have kids with.

#7 Lady Gaga- "Monster"- Now I'd bet you'd think me, as an avid Gaga fan would pick "Lovegame" or "Bad Romance" over this. But truthfully, I think this is Gaga's best song to date. Like every Lady Gaga song, it's catchy as all hell. I think it's about one of Gaga's former relationships that went south, because he turned into a monster. And although people don't like admit it, people out there don't like V-Day for this reason in this song. She met him in the club, they danced and got together, and then it went bad. Great vocals, great lyrics, and a great anti-love message this V-Day. Did I mention I love Gaga?

#6 Taylor Swift- "Love Story"- Easily the breakout pop/country singer of 2009. My God any and every song that comes out of this girls mouth could be a hit single. This is a semi-modern country twist to Romeo and Juliette with a fairy-tale ending. He likes her, she likes, him the father doesn't like her, end the end they get to get married and live happily ever after. That's the song, nothing special, but with Taylor's voice and that pop infused with country twist makes it an instant classic. Plus it helps when Taylor is very beautiful, and very humble.

#5 Jay-Z- "Venus vs Mars"- 'Bout time we hit some more rap on the list. And Jay has cemented his legacy in the rap game as we all know. Sure he has 99 problems and a b**** ain't one, but it doesn't mean he can't write a love song. I considered "Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Bonnie and Clyde 03" before narrowing it to this. I choose this because he contrasts the fact that him and his shorty may have differences, in a lot of aspects in life, but it doesn't mean he's gonna drop her because of it. Love mean accepting your partner even if you disagree on things. Good job Hov.

#4 Tupac- "Dear Mama"- Arguably the best rapper to live. And you know how earlier, I put in The Fray song about fathers, well this is exact opposite, it's Tupac lovin' on his mother. And what's V-Day if you can't send love out to your mother. Even at their families lowest point he knew his mom was always trying to help him and his brother out and at Pac's his lowest she was there for him. I considered Kanye West's "Hey Mama", but I didn't want an artist with two songs on the list. Send out love to your mother's on V-Day, but also appreciate and love them everyday.

#3 Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx- "Gold Digger"-Now Matt, how you gonna put Gold Digger so high on a V-Day, love song list? I can because that's what most women are out for on V-Day, to be able to get free s***, for no reason, and go out and make their man pay up the a** on them for no reason except for fake love, or to try and stay with them. Hell I've heard of some b****es that get with a guy just to be with someone on V-Day. WTF?!?!? You all know the song so theirs no need for me to explain it at all. These are the people that give the already weak "holiday" a bad rep. Gold Diggers rejoice, you just had your best day out of the year.

#2 The Beatles- "All You Need is Love"- The ultimate love song. Happy V-Day world. We can do anything, sing anything, say anything, and as long as we have almighty love we'll be alright. If the whole world could just learn this song, I'm sure we'd be a lot better off. Not that I'm a hippie, world peace junkie, but he'll if we were kinder and loved each other a little more I'm sure we'd all be happier. Well done, Beatles your most likely the best band ever and this is even up there as one of the top songs ever.

#1 The Lonely Island- "Dreamgirl"- Now you know I love comedy, and this is the best comedy/love song I've ever heard. Despite every personal, psychical and emotional problem, you have a man (or three) that love you even if they mistake you for a bag of trash or are scared of getting stabbed by you in your sleep. The ultimate in love is that your taken as the "hell-bound turkey mixed with a baboon" that you are. Now, all you readers, if The Lonely Island can love like that, surely you can too.

Well there's my Top 10, like it or hate it. There's moms, dads, lovers, monsters, trash-bags, and gold diggers. Hope you liked it and thanks for reading!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Smackdown Lowdown! 2/12/10

Rey Mysterio beat CM Punk via Roll-Up: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
We start out with a match. Oh, yeah this is the wrestling show, Smackdown as Rey Mysterio comes out to a rowsing ovation from the crowd. But what would you expect a guy jumping the barricade asking Rey to build him a fence. Actually that'd be the most epic WWE moment ever. Next comes out the Straight Edge Society. The seductive Serena, the gallant Luke Gallows, and the Preacher of Purism CM Punk! They got damn near 20 cause the SD! writers aren't tied down with long complex storylines that require a lot of talking segments, so they just let them entertain and bot did they. Counters, great athleticism, good story telling. End match, Punk catches Rey into a sick powerslam, that Rey kicks out of at 2. Now it's Rey's turn, after a failed running bulldog, he hits Punk with a low dropkick setting up the 6-1-9. But, Serena gets up on the apron and blocks the move while Gallows can't take advantage of Rey as he hangs Luke up on the top rope. CM Punk charges Rey who drop-toe-holds him into another 6-1-9 predicament which he ducks out up and set's Rey up for the GTS. As he lifts his body up, Rey grabs Punks head with a head scissors and turns him inside out pinning him with a roll-up for the three.

But Rey doesn't get to celebrate for long as Gallows careened him from behind and the SES beat-down begins. Luke punishes Rey with a wicked backbreaker, then splashes him in the corner. Next the lovely Serena shows her fighting side with a kick to Rey's gut with those nasty heels. As Punk yells he'll save Rey, (from building that guys fence I assume) Gallows sets Rey's body on Punks arms for the GTS, in a way crucifying Rey and then BAM! Knee to the face and Rey is out.

Kane and Drew McIntyre are both Counted Out: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
We start out with Drew trying to be the third man in who can walk out to the ring the slowest contest. The other two are Randy Orton, and The Undertaker if you wondering. And yes I think he qualified. Once he got to the ring he went on a spiel about no one being able to beat him and blahdy bleetin' blue. Then Kane's music hits and I'm sure Drew peed his pants a little. Oh wait, you'd only think that if you think all this is real. And WM24 was two years ago! (Almost Y2J) Anywho end match, Kane hits a side...walk...slam for a 2 count on McIntyre. Then follows up with the massive flying clothesline form the top rope! Kane sets up for the chokeslam, Drew counters, but can hook the arms for the Future Shock (Double Underhook DDT). Kane then gets Drew in the air for the chokeslam but Drew shifted his weight, and Kane takes them both over the top rope. During the ten count Drew tries to get back in the ring, but Kane pulls him off the apron into the barricade. Where he proceeds to beat the s*** out of him resulting in a count-out for both of them.

Post match Kane/McIntyre aren't done as they brawl in the ring and McIntyre rolls out to grab his ICC title belt. Drew brings it in the ring and it about f*** Kane up but get's caught and chokeslammed right next to his belt. As Kane celebrates by doing a magic trick AKA making fire he puts the belt across Drew's lifeless body. Yeah I'm good a detail writing. What are you gonna do? What I don't want them to do is Kane/McIntyre for the ICC. Oh well, SD! can't be perfect forever.

My God it took SD! 35 minutes to bust out a talking segment. Hope RAW is watc-oh no they're not Hornswoggle must be doing bar-stool dives, and everyone loves a plastered midget...er ummmm shorty...oh s*** midget...f*** I mean little person. Anywho Mickie James-Canton is eating fruit and Team Lay-Cool must be morons cause they thought it was cookies. They do some fat jokes or w/e and try to feed her rice pudding (I'd like to feed her my rice pudding). Mickie hits the tray backward and of course it lads on the fattest of all fat-a** women in the WWE (Sorry Eddie) Vicky "Excuse Me" Guerrero. Mickie runs (Just like Matt did the night Y2J/Helms got put in the clink), and Vickie is fuming and Layla/Michelle try to clean her up.

Team Lay-Cool (Layla/Michelle McCool) beat WWE Women's Champion Mickie James-Canton in a Handicap Match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars.
Mickie comes out bouncing like she always does, I just wish she did it in almost no top and that short-short skirt like in the old days. Oh well, I know I'm not the only one who found her bra in all that cleavage twice this match. It started out as a one-on-one match with the "Never Seen Her Win a Singles Match on SD!" Layla vs Mickie James-Canton. Then Vickie comes out early in the match and with a vintage "EXCUSEEEEE ME" is becomes a handicap match between Team Lay-Cool and their new jackets that say their perfect and MJC. Anywho end match, MJC in the corner, throws Layla over the top rope and gives her and elbow. Right as that happens MJC gets a superkick to the jaw from McCool. Then McCool drags MJC's lifeless body (Boy John Canton wishes this could happen to him) to the center of the ring and hits Styles Clash...oh wait Faith Breaker on Mickie James-Canton for the 1-2-3!

Well not it's time for everyone favorite cowboy, here he is Hop-A-Long Batista! And don't forget The Bandit aka Phil, Batista's nose ring that tell him the future! Seriously, who in the f*** had been dressing you the last two weeks on SD!? I swear to God I expect him to come out as an astronaut next week. He's supposed to tell us what he's been doing crazy s*** the last two weeks. He scared Todd away and then aimlessly walked around the ring. Because the 'roids Bothtistaroid has consumed over the years has f***ed him up in both heads. He taunts some f***-tard Cena fan, walked up the ramp, ran down the ramp and got back in the ring and left again. In that time he blew out his knee-cap, broke his index finger, and tore a bicep. Don't worry, we'll see him Monday on RAW.

The Jobberwalkies (Matt Hardy/The Great Kalhi) beat The Heart Dynasty (DH Smith/Tyson Kidd) via Roll-Up: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
The Hardy Jobber, The Punjabi Jobber, and the little scrawny Spit-Fuck (Thanks for posting Tallahassee from Zombieland) make up the Jobberwalkies. At least Matt has the good sense to say "F*** Off" to them still being a sausage-fest and called in the 2009 Diva of the Year. Look everyone, Maria got air-time and helped develop a very shallow feud! Anywho end match Matt Hardy get's tripped up under the rope by Natalya and Maria storms her and give her a Lou Thes press. While everyone is watching the cat fight, Tyson Kidd rolls up Hardy for a two count that Hardy turns into a roll-up of his own for the three.

R-Truth beat John Morrison via Referee Stoppage Due To Injury: No Rating
R-"Narcissistic"-Truth comes out rapping as always, I love it when the white people in the crowd yell "What's Up" into the mic cause they always try to sound black and fail. Haha. Morrison comes out to his usual slow-mo for JoMo entrance and thuse the Friday Delight is ready for action....wait a sec no he's not. About 1 minute into the match he tumbles over Truth's back, lands on his knee wrong and twists it. He can't get up, ref stops the match, serious voices abound from Todd/Matt, and R-Truth is nice enough to help Morrison out of the ring. See their not just in there groping each other til la three count comes. They actually do care for each other. (Thanks for posting 'Am I Fooling Anybody')

As a nice surprise we have the 2010 Royal Rumble winner Edge coming out to talk. I'll always give the Rated R Superstar as listen as he is awesome. He talked about how after the Elimination Chamber PPV he could have two of twelve potential opponents to choose from to face at WM26. Just like after every RAW or SD! Batista has his choice of Divas to slong that night at the hotel. Could pit Team Rated RKO against each other, or even reignite the feud of 2008 between himself and The Undertaker. Y2J comes out, asking why Edge didn't mention him on the list of possible opponents. Jericho tell Edge that he's a bad luck charm, because when Y2J is around Edge get's hurt. Jericho then says when he does win, that Edge needs to pick the winner from the RAW EC. Because he would not wanna face Y2J at WM26 cause Edge will lose, and bad things will happen to Edge along the way. Then tell all us liars to watch what happens as he beats the so called "Deadman" tonight.

Chris "Y2J" Jericho beat World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker in a No DQ via Pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
The Undertaker takes a whole damn commercial break to get to the ring. If that's not a skill in it's own right I don't know what is. I'd also like to point out when I don't see the Undertaker do his eyes-roll back into his skull thing I feel weird the whole match. F*** you WWE for getting me used to s***, and then when s*** doesn't happen I freak out. Anywho end match, Undertaker goes for a chokeslam but Jericho rolls out to the floor and starts taunting Edge at the announce table. He get's clubbed from behind which then sets off a stare-down between The Undertaker and Edge. I guess it's good though, the wrestlers are practicing looking deeply into each others eyes cause they'll have to do it with their wives/girlfriends on Sunday. Anywho Edge, who is now standing beside the announce table after Undertaker threw Y2J at him, gets a f***ing boot to the head from the Undertaker after he trows Jericho into the ring. I love random violence for no apparent reason and yes the sentence before this is major run-on one. In ring 'Taker kick out at two after a quick Jericho DDT. Then Jericho takes the turnbuckle cover off and rolls-up the Undertaker who powers out, sending Jericho face first into the steel ring holding the ropes. As Jericho turn around he runs into a right and then get's the Last Ride, dropping him from about 7 feet up. BUT WAIT! EDGE WITH A SPEAR! Edge leaves, Taker sits up, Taker get's Jericho up, who hits a Codebreaker that Undertaker NEVER SAW COMING! One! Two! Three! Y2J pins the World Heavyweight Champion! And Smackdown ends on a beautiful note this week!

Smackdown!: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars
It was a great Smackdown, but the JoMo/R-Truth, and tag team matches felt like it weighed the show down a bit. The main matches that got time were great. Y2J/Taker for a 3 star match from me for about a 9 minute match, and CM Punk/Rey put on one helluva showing tonight. Those are two matches why for the most part SD! >>> RAW. Don't get me wrong, just cause I gave RAW a better rating this week doesn't mean I like it more. RAW had been bad for at least 6 months an it'll be awhile before RAW/SD! are on equal ground in my book.

I'll probably post one of my older writing tomorrow, it won't be on wrestling it'll be on my TV or Movie interests. So stay tuned. Thanks for reading everyone who does!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The ECW Exclamation

I'll do a smaller review like I of RAW/SD! It won't be as long because it's only an hour show. But I know a lot of people never watched the new ECW, but in 2009 I've stated that it and SD! were both stellar and they were the two top shows in the WWE over RAW. Anywho, Live from Baton Rouge, La. here's ECW!

We open the show with the ECW roster all in a room and Tiffany walks in to address them about the next of evolution of the WWE, NXT, and how they can can choose to go to RAW or SD! as free agents after next week. She then told everyone to have fun the next two weeks, as she grabbed a clear cup of alcohol and put on Mardi-Gras beads, because Mardi-Gras starts next week and the Saints won the Superbowl. I just wish she had to take her top off to put on those beads, too bad it's not Mardi-Gras yet so ECW remains boob-less. Sorry Tommy, yeah I saw that tweet last night. "Well I just posted a blog on WWE Universe. You should check it out. ECW GM Tiffany if you are gonna put beads on, something comes off" Love ya man haha. Then Zack Ryder complains about her not doing her job or something which leads Tiffany to bust out, no not of her top, a "Woo Woo Woo".

Yoshi Tatsu/Goldust beat Trent Barreta/Caylen Croft in a #1 Contender Match for the Unified Tag Team Championships: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Our first match of the evening. And these young guys Trent/Baretta are growing on me. The 14-16 year olds can idenitify with them, they're solid in the ring, and look to be good at getting heat from the crowd. I still don't get why Goldie and "The Cardiac Kid" are a tag team, but they've got great chemistry and I can definitely see Tatsu in the USC/ICC title picture in his career, cause he's gotten very good in ring. His Super Spinning Heel Kick from the top rope is sick. Anywho end match, they've been working on Goldie the second half of the match. Tatsu gets the hot tag, as well as Croft. Tatsu hits spinning heel kick, double kness to the chest in the corner, a snap-mare roll with into a kick to the chest, the three buzz-saw like kicks (Thanks for posting Tajiri), then the super spinning heel kick to get a two count on Croft. Goldie hits a massive bulldog on Barreta after he broke up a pin-fall. Tatsu/Croft left in the ring and Croft is busted open pretty bad, BLOOD! Both men up and Tatsu hits the straight kick to tha face and get's the 1-2-3. Goldust/Tatsu get to face ShowMiz next week for the UTTCs on the final episode of the new ECW.

Ezekiel Jackson beat Jobber From LA: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
A squash to show Big Zeke is still a monster no need for it in my book. But since he's starting to grow on me I like it when the guy just f***s someone up for no reason. Haha. After the match they go to find, hopefully the plastered and topless by now (Sorry McEntyre), general manager Tiffany and demands a last ECWC match against Christian next week on the final New ECW. She obliges him, no not like that, and goes one step further makes it Extreme Rules. Holy f*** a no DQ match this week and an Extreme Rules match next week. This can't be New ECW. It isn't and your canceled. (Thanks for posting WCW and original ECW)

Shelton Benjamin beat Vance Archer in a No DQ/No Count Out Match: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
My God the new ECW is doing what the old ECW did. Vince either fell asleep during the taping of this match, or just doesn't care any more. I say give Tiffany some of Vinces meds so she'll finally take her top off. Anywho we get blood for the second time of the night Byron Leftwhich/Matthews bust out the serious voices, and Vince was awake for this part and sent out the trainer squad. Cause seeing blood is unsophisticated, but Triple H doing gay jokes on SD! isn't. Gotta love consistency (Thanks for posting common sense). My God they're using weapons too? Vince what did you get slipped to allow this? Is RVD back there and you walked through his Pot-Ring? Anywho end match Archer hits a sweet sipebuster (or powerbomb) from the 2nd rope that gets a long 2, the Archer begins to work on Sheltons mid section with irish whips into the corner, and the good old abdominal stretch. Shelton comes back and hits a wicked Dragon Whip on Archer which garners a 2 count. Archer then tries to set up his reverse DDT, and Shelton counters into a massive German Suplex. Archer side steps Shelton jumping at him in the corner, Shelton the climbs to the top rope and a huge Top-Rope Blockbuster that rocked Archer. And finally Shelton hits Pay Dirt for the 1-2-3. Very good match to end ECW. I like Archer, not just cause he's from Dallas, and Shelton too. Shelton needs to hold a title on SD! or RAW he's just too good to keep title-less.

ECW: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Solid action, and good storylines make (or made) ECW a pleasure to watch in 2009, and it looks like their going out strong. Shelton/Archer was good, and WWE has me wondering what will happen to the ECWC after ECW is done? Scrap it, make it a second tier belt, let Mark Henry use it as a girdle? These are the questions that need to be answered! Thanks for reading!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Layin' Down the Raw

I'm only doing the important, or big name promos and the matches tonight of course.

Live from Louisiana it's Monday Night RAW! We start out with a video package of Bret Hart getting beatdown on RAW last week and a vintage clip of the Monteal Screwjob. Cut to an obvious taped video of Carl Edwards, yes more Nascar hosts, doing donuts in the parking lot, to which King exclaimed it was him cause he heard his name on a police scanner. Really King? You keep a police scanner under the announce table? What else you got under there some of Jareds Subway sandwiches and Torrie Wilson's boobs? Anywho Edwards says John Cena is his best friend and The Pale White Yonder, Sheamus, interrupts him and demands to be the last person to go into his Elimination Chamber match. Then to our surprise Captain Charisma, Christian comes out and calls Sheamus a funny name and informed us that all current ECW Superstars will become free agents in two weeks and can go to either RAW or SD! Then Edwards obliges Cristian and let's them have a match and it starts off the show.

Sheamus (WWEC) beat Christian (ECWC): 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
A solid match to start off RAW, good back and forth action, and a lot of people say Sheamus sucks in the ring, but I can see him improving steadily. I don't think he was ready to be made WWEC when he was, but I see how it's helped him move along. Anywho, end match Sheamus hits the Blarney Boot, then hit Christin with a clothesline and kills him with the Celtic Cross. (Thanks for helping me write this Finlay.)

The Miz Show (Big Show/The Miz) beat Straight Edge Society (CM Punk/Luke Gallows) w/Serena and Degeneration-X (Triple H/Shawn Michaels) in a Elimination Triple Threat Match for the Unified Tag Team Championships: 7/10 or 3.5/5 stars!
SES comes out and preaches the fact that Cajun Country is doomed for life when it comes to drinking and drugs. They call out Jared from Subway and try to get him to be head of propaganda for the SES. He denies them as DX comes out to make the save. Miz and Big Show come out last. Meanwhile after the 2nd commercial break, I get pissed a SES is eliminated by HBK after a Superkick to CM Punk. SWEET CHIN MUSIC @ 9:01CST! Vintage HHH @9:05CST! OMG New UTTC @9:06CST! The Miz rolled up HBK after he tagged himself in after the vintage HHH spinebuster! The Miz Show are the new Unified Tag Team Champions! Great match, good action throughout, further the HBK storyline, I see a DX break-up soon, and new UTTC make this a very good RAW match!

In the interview after the match, Big Show brags on how him and Y2J could never beat DX and how The Miz treats him as an equal. Then The Miz calls them "The Miz Show", Big Show halts him and renames the team, "Showmiz"

Cut to HBK looking for Teddy Long, but seems to have forgotten his name. He asks to be traded to SD! and put in the Elimination Chamber so he can win and let the Undertaker re-challenge him at WM so he can retain and beat the streak. Long tells him no as he begins shaking him like a baby. Triple H asks if he's throwing DX and his career away to a reply of "My career is over" and a superkick to Teddy Long. To hand out a hate crime to end the promo.

Gail Kim beat Jillian: 0.5/10 or .5/5 stars
Bleh get's points for Maryse being hot and her calling Cole a "Vintage Nerd". I hope Gail Kim/Maryse for the Divas Championship is good. And if they give them 10 minutes I think it will be.

The first inductee to the 2010 WWE Hall of Fame which essentially means nothing is "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase Sr.! I've always like watching his old matches and promos, a great guy to lead in the WWE HoF this year!

New Santino SHIRT! Hahaha five dollars, five dollars, foot longs. YES! It's like money in card form! I love Santino. And in comes the identity confused guy from Boston, billed from Africa, and has Jamaican theme, Kofi Kingston! He informs us that next week on RAW all six members of the RAW EC will be in singles matches! Which sets up Santino not knowing Jerry Springer is next weeks host and saying he's sure he's of utmost character.

Cody Rhodes beats Randy Orton in a Singles match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Cody doesn't get an entrance, not a good sign, and Randy comes down much faster than normal, and tries to teach Cody a lesson. End of this short match, we get a Viper comments directed at Orton, Sheamus distracts Orton and Cody hits Cross Rhodes on RKO for the 1-2-3! Post match Rhodes saves RKO, but only after Sheamus hits his second Blarney Boot of the evening! Short match, BUT keeps me guessing about what going to eventually happen with Legacy.

Next weeks matches as told by Carl Edwards! Orton vs Sheamus, Ted DiBiase vs Kofi Kingston, and Triple H vs John Cena! Though Cena/HHH has been done about 89,763 times they always have a good match and RAW looks to be very good again next week!

John Cena vs Ted DiBiase Jr: 0/10 or 0/5 Stars
No match, but I like Cenas STSA "beat your a**" style. And he wants Batista, eww. Joy Botchtistaroid vs Superman in a match, the match from from Summerslam 2008 I don't wanna see again. HAHA at USA cutting to commercial cause no one came out. Furthers my thinking that it'll be Cena w/Brett Hart vs Batista w/Vince McMahon and WM26.

BTW got watch the Cop Out restricted trailer on FB, holy f*** does it look funny. It's the first 2010 movie I'm actually going to go out and see. Directed by Kevin Smith, starring Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, and Sean William Scott. I think YES!

Oop, still waiting for Batista as we come back from commercial Cena is thinking out loud and figures out Vince is the one who "hired" Batista to attack him last week. I might call him John "Dick Tracey" Cena now. GOT NO CHANCE hits and the chairman, Vince McMahon, obliges Cena and comes out with the vintage strut and security guards. Cena tells Vince he'd mow down the security guards and get angry if Vince didn't come in the ring alone. Haha Adam was the originally designed for McMahon! Classic ragging on God! *Thinks back to HBK and God vs Vince/Shane McMahon* And boy does Vince not like Orange/White, GI Joe, and Louisiana! Cena calls him out about loving money, and turning Botchtistaroid into a cash-cow! Vince does it for money, Cena does it cause he loves doing it on nights like this after the Saints win the Superbowl. A "Who Dat!" chant riots out of the crowd. And blah blah blah he's yells about the biggest night of the year, the HoF, and how Bret said he'd like to wrestle another WM match (w00tness) against Vince (YEAH!). Cena leaves by asking Vince if he's about the money or the moment. Vince says he doesn't want any of an 65+ year old mans body. Cena goats Vince a little more and yelling in his devil voice he agrees to Vince vs Bret Hart at WM26! After a video package from last week, Bret Hart from behind taking down Vince, taking down security guards as Vince high-tails it! Vince retraced his WM26 match with Bret and then follows vintage destruction of fake props and the announce table. And we end easily the best segment of the night with Brets music hitting and the Hitman doing what he does bast, loving the fans! F***ing great segment, probably the best segment for RAW since Jan. 4ths with Bret/HBK.

RAW: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars
Last week I gave it an unofficial 8/10. This weeks I think was just as good as last week despite the couple of dud matches. But the Tag Team Triple Threat Match, and Christian/Sheamus were very good and the promos were great to boot. I think RAW has stepped it up to SD! levels the past two weeks and I hope they keep it up! Good RAW, is good.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Let's Play Some FOOTBALL!

This won't be a long post, mostly cause I don't feel like writing today. But it is a very important Sunday in my culture, and it is revered very highly. Yes I think you all know, it's F***ING SUPER SUNDAY! YEAH! My team, Americas team, the Dallas Cowboys lost a couple of weeks back in the divisional round, BUT we got the playoff win and the drought has be rained upon and I expect at least two playoff wins next season!

Anywho on to the two teams, the best of the best in the 2009-10 season! Both teams number #1 seeds in the AFC and NFC. One team is looking for a first time ever SB win, and the other team is hungry to add another one to their resume! The titans are the Indianapolis Colts at a mighty 14-2 vs the New Orleans Saints at 13-3!

This will be a game of "Whose Offense Can Be The Most Explosive". Peyton Manning has the young guns, and I think if their o-line can give Peyton protection Garcon/Manningham with have HUGE games. On the flip side we have Drew Brees and his offense who give him good protection too, but he needs time to hit Colston, Shockey and every WR and TE on the bench. Haha. Also if one defense dominated then that team will win. Yeah yeah, we say that about every game, but I doubt there will be any scoring problems in the game. If the Colts or Saints defense can hold to two or three, three and outs/fumbles/interceptions, and the other team capitalizes on it'll you'll see very quickly the Super Bowl Champions.

As for my pick. I've always loved Peyton Manning. He's the better of the brothers and when he did the Big Brother program skit for SNL I was in tears. Not to mention he's, IMO, the best QB of the 2000s decade. BUT Drew Brees and the Saints are on a holy f***ing divine mission from God. And I don't think the Colts will beat them. Now I'm not saying it will be a blow-out, but I can see the Saints winning by 10.

34-24 Saints over Colts.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Smackdown Lowdown! (With Bouns Material Tonight!)

I'll be doing quick thoughts on Smackdown! segments and matches. Not really play by play on the matches, but more how I thought the match went and then give it a 1-10 rating.

Starts out with Edge winning the Rumble video package, and the aftermath of the Batista/Cena dark match that happened Monday night.

We start out with the leader of us folks, us hypocrites, us troglodytes, he is the man, the legend, Chris Jericho! He says he's lost everything, and he means everything, and demands Teddy put him in the match without having to qualify. I agree, Y2J needs to qualify for nothing, but everything needs to qualify for Y2J. He storms to Teddy office in the back, scaring the s*** out of some backstage worker. I lol'd. But wait! It's not Teddy in his office, but the 2010 Royal Rumble winner, Edge! Edge told Y2J he created a monster, Y2J said he can destroy his creation whenever he wants, and Edge ends it by telling him he's wrong and plugging the fact one of his could be Wrestlemania match with The Undertaker. Good segment, really puts over the fact Edge and Y2J will have that one big match down the road.

An Elimination Chamber package is shown which I really like leads into the first match of the night, and the first SD! Elimination Chamber qualifier. We have our fearless Intercontential Champion, The Scottish Eye-Poker, Drew McEntyre. The Shaman of sexy, the Friday Night Delight, the Guru of Greatness, John Morssion. And finally we have the Big Red Jobber Kane. Come on who really thought Kane would win, I pity the Kane fans of recent years. End match, Kane hits the Flying Clothesline on Morrison, McEntyre hits Kane with the title into a Future Shock (love that name), Morrsion face f***s McEntyre with his knee and finally hits Kane with a Starship Pain for the 3 count. Good, good, both Elimination Chambers are looking good.

John Morrison is the first person to qualify for the SD! Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship which belongs to The Deadman who hasn't actually died in like 5 years. Another 5/10 or 2.5/5 stars rating. Not bad, not great, just good.

Next match is our second Elimination Chamber qualifier pits R "Narcissistic" Truth vs the "Monster Whos Never On TV Anymore" Mike Knox, and oh s*** it's over already...and Truth won..way to use your talented big men WWE.

2/10 or 1/5 stars. Nothing much to say except that R-Truths corkscrew elbow finisher is disgusting.

Video package shown highlighting Vince and Brets talk and Vince and Batista attacking Bret. Then after RAW went off air they showed how Batista attacked Cena and Batista Bombed him onto steel steps. Hopefully "Susperman" goes and get's his bulging discs repeaired and get's of my WWE screen for awhile. Cut to the best promo cutter and his Straight Edge Society, CM Punk. He has the third Elimination Qualifier against Batista next. Punk asks the very lovely Serena and Gallows what their willing to do for him and they both gave the answer that would do anything for him.

Batista and Phil come out. In case you don't know Phil is Dave's nose-ring that can see into the future. And the Straight Edge Society comes out with CM Punk. And boy whata barn burner as CM Punk beats Batista via count out to get into the Elimination Chamber. I call this a 2/10, or 1 star match, cause I didn't have to actually watch Batista wrestle. I nominate this for Match of the Year already.

Aww look at Matty flirting with the Diva of the Year whose never on TV and won't be for like another 4 months soon..good thinking WWE. He's got the fourth of the five Elimination Chamber qualifiers next. I bet he loses. <-Written 51 minutes into the show during a Cash4Gold commercial.

Hahahahahah his opponent is the incomparable Y2J hahaha! Y2J wins is a great match! Matt Hardy still has good in him. 6/10 or 3/5 stars! Best match of the night so far.

Mickie James-Canton sighting at 8:07CST and she's doing a women you are who are so be who you want to be and no one can take it away blah blah cliche. Beth comes out and tells Mickie she can take the title whenever she wants. Then all of the sudden "Excuse me" is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *marks out* Piggy Guerrero sets up the obvious James-Canton/Phoenix vs McTaker/Layla El.

An alright womens match that I really hope is setting up Mickie vs Beth next. Hahaha at Beth not caring if she won and won anywho. 4/10 or 2/5 stars.

WTF Cryme Time is still employed and they have a new shirt? Haha Sauna Boys was pretty good, and that high note would have moved Shad to Hollywood on American Idol. Puppies!!!!! F*** yeah, best segment of the night as Cryme Time and Lawer are going to get hoes!

And we get to the final Elimination Chamber match of the night. The winner of the Rey Mysterio/Dolf Ziggler match will join The Undertaker, John Morrison, R-Truth, CM Punk, and Y2J. I wonder if Ziggler has a chance of win-hahaha I can't even finish that without laughing. Oh look Rey's in his legalize weed wrestling gear. What in the bluest of blue hells two commercial breaks, if Todd or Matt broke out a Cole-like "vintage", I'd swear I'd get a hard-on that could cut diamonds. Oh yeah the match, it's not to shabby so far either. (Meanwhile after the match)Whata freaking match! Ziggler needs to be pushed in the ICC title picture! That Powerslam he threw on Rey was great! And Rey did a great job in the match to boot even with the two grueling matches he had last week on SD! and at the Royal Rumble good for you Rey. The final person in the SD! WHC Elimination Chamber. An easy 7/10 or 3.5/5 stars! *Claps for Ziggler and Mysterio*

Now it's time for Cutting Edge with The New Great One, The Ultimate Opportunist, The Rated R Superstar, Edge! The music hits, the pryo goes off and Edge is back on SD! hosting his talk show. He recaps his injury, and how he defied the odds, and beat up the Pale White Yonder on RAW. Jericho! Always nice to see him..well anywhere anytime in the WWE. He whines about being the one who deserved to win the Rumble, and Edge is sick of Y2J altogether and f***ing punks him out in the middle of the ring! Yeah, and now CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society! Serena, oh boy, she is nice to look at. And at then end of Punks spiel , *Bong!* RVD is back..not really it's The Undertaker! Spear on Y2J by Edge, choke slam to Punk by 'Taker, and Edge/Undertaker stare down to end another very very good Smackdown!

Line of the night is by Todd Grisham- "This could be Matt Hardy's biggest win in years!"

I gave RAW an unofficial 8/10 this week. So I'll also give Smackdown an 8/10 as well. Not because it was better or worse, just because it was as good as RAW. I f***ing love Smackdown!

Now onto the only thing that keeps me up with the crap on TV I never watch, but laugh at the stupidity of, The Soup hosted by Joel McHale. I love this show and every week has at least two of the funniest thing I hear the whole week, and even thought it's on the E! Network it's the best clip-show on TV. I can't get enough of it every week, and even the bad jokes are good. Definitely worth the watch each week.

A Tyra Show promo line: "5 Women, 10 Vagina's"
The Soup promo line edited: "6 Women (Including Tyra)...10 Vagina's"

^ LMFAO