Shawn Michaels, an icon in the pro wrestling world lost his retirement match to The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 26 this past Sunday, and gave his farewell speech to the WWE on Raw. I'll say it now. I legit cried for the first time for anything that's happened in the WWE the six years I've been a fan. But, this isn't about me, it's about the greatest wrestler to ever step foot into the squared circle.
I was born in 1990, so even if I did get into wrestling at a young age, I doubt I'd remember much. But, going back over these last six years I wish I was a fan. Cause in the 90s, Shawn was the man. I mean he had epic feuds and matches with all the greats. Bret Hart, Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Vader, Undertaker,Razor Ramon, Diesel, and the list goes on. Shawn was also at the forefront of matches the WWE fans had never seen before. Such as the first Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship with Razor Ramon at Wrestlemania 10, the first Iron Man Match with Bret Hart for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 12, and the first Hell in a Cell match with The Undertaker. So here I go with a run-down of HBKs career.
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Before all of the above started with the Legend HBK, in 1985 he was just starting out working where he could for $50-75. But everyone's gotta start somewhere. Finally him and Marty Jannetty get together and bam instant tag team success. They were smaller than all the other tag teams, but man they did stuff in the rind no one had dreamed of. Tandem moves at blazing fast speeds keeping the crowd wondering what kinds of hat-tricks they were going to pull off next. Their in-ring skills propelled them to become 5 time tag team champions. But, Shawn was destined for greater thing, whether he knew it at the time or not. We all know the promo, Shawn turn on Jannetty, superkicks him, and throws him through the Barbershop window. Again groundbreaking cause no one had ever seen anything like that before. Enter the newly dubbed "Heartbreak Kid". Boys and girls, heel Shawn Michaels has arrived in single competition. Now before I get into more of his career, I'd like to point out that Shawn is no slouch in the ring. The man can wrestle, and he can do it well. Sure he'll doing his high flying moon-saults and the top rope elbow. But, combine that with charisma in the ring, and ability to get the crowd going. Not to mention a ground move-set with holds and counter-holds, you've got the complete package. As we're going along, here comes cock-heel Michaels and his new manager Sensational Sherri. He wasn't big time yet, but he garnered great heel heat from the crowd, and even starting having them say "Shawn Michaels has left the building." Nice. He's good at roles, he can be heel or face, whats next you ask? My answer is singles titles. And at this point the WWE didn't have Smackdown or two sets of titles. So when one wants to climb the ladder, so to speak, they start out in feuds for the . He had matches with Bret Hart, The British Bulldog, and even his old tag partner Jannetty wining, and losing the belt. He then gets suspended and has to vacate the belt. Shawn comes back and claims he's the rightful champ, cause he never got pinned. Que his biggest rivalry to date, with Razor Ramon for the . We all know where this is heading to, Razor v Michaels in a Ladder Match at Wrestlemania X. This match was, in my opinion, his best match to date. Sure he had good matches, and he was good in-ring. But, until then he had never had that match, that one match that's so good even you have to think it's good yourself. He did too, and I quote, "I feel that me and Razor did something special that night." From Shawn's mouth, to my typing, to your reading. He goes back to some tag glory with his "bodyguard" Diesel and then cost Diesel the Intercontinental Championship. Their feud ensues. With Shawn Michaels winning his first Royal Rumble, and Diesel winning the WWE Championship, we have out main event set up for Wrestlemania 11. Though Michaels came up short, it led to him going away for awhile to be able to come back to be a crowd favorite.
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So HBK is back, on the fans side, the leader of The Kliq and has some more Intercontinental title reigns. Yeah, Shawn holding titles and giving the fans what they want. We have in infamous MSG Incident that got caught on camera the clique hugging before Razor/Diesel went to WCW. Big time pro wrestling moment cause it was the first time people had seen a real moment in something so perceived as fake. Dare I say all of this is vintage HBK. So HBK get's "injured" and takes a little more time off. But, before we all know it he's back in the Royal Rumble, entered at #1, and wins the whole thing for the second year in a row. Unheard of to win twice in a row, it's only bee going for that 10 years at this point? Awesome. Bret Harts the WWE Champion going into Wrestlemania 12, and we have the Royal Rumble winner Shawn Michaels going in to challenge. But it's not going to be a singles or a cage match. No it's going to be a 60-f***ing-minute long Iron Man match, where the person with the most pins/submissions at the end wins. WTF? Who came up with this, 60 minutes with no breaks? These guys are nuts sure maybe 30-40 minutes but an hour, oh my God. Silence all ye nay-sayers as Bret and Shawn put on whats widely regarded as not only the best Wrestlemania match of all time, but also the best match in WWEs history. The match went a hour and it had everything. High-flying, , pins, submissions, finishers, oohs, ahhs, and at the end no winner! My Lord, no one got a pin or submission in 60 minutes. So the match is restarted under sudden-death rules. BAM! Sweet Chin Music, the cover, 1-2-3, ding-ding-ding, omgwtflolbbq, the boyhood dream has come true and Shawn Michaels is finally WWE Champion. Nothing remarkable happens in this part of HBK's career, he loses and wins the WWEC to and from Sycho Sid and officiated a WWEC Match between Bret Hart and The Undertaker. Enter Hell in a Cell, the first of it's and it was brutal. Blood, solid action, holy crap the got out of the cage, BAW GAD HBK FELL 15-FEET OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE, HE MAY BE BROKEN IN HALF! Michaels wins though with help of Undertaker's brother Kane debuting. Also over that same summer we have Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Chyna form D-Generation X, no not to poo slinging, fart jokers of the 2006. They were the irreverent, Canadian flag humping, cursing at the fans, doing what ever they wanted unscripted guys that made us laugh at "I'd Rather Be In Chyna" and dick jokes. The Hart Foundation was never impressed haha. On screen that is. Now skip to England in September, we have an epic match between The British Bulldog (RIP) and Shawn for the European Championship. It's on the new My Journey DVD and I must say it's well worth the watch, England hated Shawn and him using his undermining ways with Chyna, Triple H ,and Rick Rude. The fans across the pond went mad as HBK won the title from Bulldog to be the first ever Grand Slam Champion of the WWE. Another first, it's crazy.
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We come to the infamous, taboo, we never talk about this (until 2010) Survivor Series of 1997 aka The Montreal Screwjob. We have Bret Hart, the WWEC, his contract is up and we all know he's going to WCW. Vince thinks he's gonna take the belt, Bret says he never was gonna, HBK is really the only guy Vince can use for this match. So late match HBK puts the Sharpshooter on Bret, Earl Hebner immediately rings the bell, new champ, Bret didn't tap, the crowds going nuts, Bret's spitting, Vince is in shock, HBK and Hebner are already in the back, and Bret isn't on good terms with Vince for the next 13 years. Fast forward past this "Bret Screwed Bret" nonsense and we hit Royal Rumble 1998. We have to of the biggest WWE stars of the 90s, The Undertaker and HBK in a Casket match for the WWEC. We have a great match going, when Shawn get's back-dropped over the ropes and hits his lower back on the casket. He herniated two discs, and crushed a third. He wins the match and goes on to Wrestlemania 14 and lose, essentially passing the torch to Stone Cold Steve Austin to run the rest of the Attitude Era. Shawn retired for four year after that Wrestlemania with his broken back. We saw him sparingly throughout 1998-2002 years, he was Commissioner of Raw and officiated the Triple H/The Rock Iron Man match, but other than that he was out of the biz.
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But the end was not to be. I don't know if it was him getting married, staying clean, having a kid, or finding the Lord Jesus Christ, but Shawn Michaels is back in the WWE. And who better to feud with than his best friend Triple H. He hasn't had too many memorable feud and matches in his second run, but this was one of them. They had three classic matches, ending with Shawn winning his match back at Summerslam, only to be killed by Triple H after. Next he became World Champ for the only time in the 2000s by winning the World Heavyweight Champion in the first ever (there's those two words again) Elimination Chamber match. But a month later, he loses said title in an awesome, brutal, Three Stages of Hell match to Triple H. Enter the current, self proclaimed, best in the world at what he does, Chris Jericho. They feuded going into Wrestlemania 19 on the premise that Chris was the next Shawn Michaels. Que a 5 star match between the two with Michaels winning and the famous (or infamous if you will) Jericho/HBK hug ending with Y2J kicking him below the belt. Nothing big happened for Shawn until he got into the feud with Triple H and Chris Benoit where he had (yet again) another 5 star match. It was in losing effort though as Benoit beat Triple H and Michaels to become the World Heavyweight Champion. Nothing big happened between Wrestlemania 20-21, though him an Triple H had a very nice 4.5 star Hell in a Cell match at Badd Blood, and he screwed up his knee. Never the matter, we now have Kurt Angle, possibly the best pure athlete ever in pro wrestling vs the best ever in pro wrestling. Besides the 7 out 5 star match they had at Wrestlmaina 21, they had a nice build-up with Kurt covering "Sexy Boy." A classic Shawn/Kurt/Sherri promo I'll never forget. Moving on Michaels loses his incredible 'Mania match to Kurt Angle, via tapout and we roll on. Summer 2002, the Superkick Heard Round the World. Shawn takes out the icon (well not nearly as much anymore) Hulk Hogan. And he also takes out Roddy Piper demanding a match at Summerslam. Well he get's it and I think it's one of HBK's best matches. No joke. Hogan never put anyone over and Shawn made it look like a cartoon was being filmed in that ring. Anywho he cuts one of the best heel HBK promos ever, in Montreal, on Hart and Hogan and the crowd is into this match. But he loses, he shakes Hogans hand and he moves on. WE won't talk too much about the 2nd incarnation of DX, cause we all know it wasn't great. Although I do like the promo when Triple H plays Vince and Shawn plays Shane McMahon (as if he were high on crack), I think I always be the only one to like that promo. Haha Triple H said "Dick" like 20 times on live TV. Crazy. I do wanna focus on their one match with Rated-RKO (Edge/Orton) and Cyber Sunday, cause it was one of the only matches I liked with them together at that time. Good action, between the four mega stars and it it was a solid 3.5/5 stars tag team PPV match. Also the promo where Shawn has to vote for the ref and ends up superkicking Steve and all the random people cause he's not "controversial" anymore is another great HBK promo I'll always remember. Triple H gets injured, but Michaels carries on the DX theme. Him and then WWE Champ John Cena defeat Rated-RKO for the World Tag Team Championships. Then HBK goes on to best Edge and Orton in a No.1 Contenders Triple Threat match to face off against his tag partner, John Cena, at Wrestlemania 23 for the title. Long story short, Cena makes HBK tap in one of Cena's finest matches, even though I don't like the guy Shawn made him look good, and 20+ minute epic end in Heartbreak (see what I did thar) for Shawn Michaels. Next he goes into a feud with another up-and-comer, The Viper himself Randy Orton. They had a nice feud leading to Survivor Series where Shawn basically superkicked Orton every week. So Orton got the stipulation added that if Shawn uses Sweet Chin Music he'd be DQ'd, but if Orton tried to get intentionally DQ'd he'd lose the WWEC to Shawn. It was a very nice actual wrestling match, one of my favorite HBK matches and Orton won after an RKO.
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Fast forward to the Wrestlemania 24 season. We all know it well, I don't even need to go into detail. It was gut-wrenching when Shawn said to Ric before the final superkick, "I'm sorry, I love you" and then ended Ric's WWE career. It was, I believe, his emotional match to date and you can add another accolade to his list. Retired Ric Flair from the WWE. Y2J is now back in the WWE and him and Michaels go at it. Jericho throws him through the Jeritron 5000, we think he's gonna retire at Summerslam, Jericho jacks Rebbecca, his wife, in the face, HBK says he's not retiring. Shawn beats Jericho in a Brutal (with a capital 'B') unsanctioned match. In the following month Jericho becomes World Heavyweight Champion and HBK and Chris have a mighty great Ladder Match at No Mercy. (Don't worry I'll make list of all of Shawn's best matches in a separate blog.) Shawn then had an okay storyline with JBL where he became his employee cause he didn't have money saved up and wanted his kids to go to college and him and his wife to have a good life. It was a decent premise. He won his "freedom" and "payment" from John when he beat him in an "All or Nothing" match. HE also defeated Vladimir Kozlof for the first time to go against Undertaker at Wrestlemania 25 to try and break the streak. We all know it, arguably the best Wrestlemania match ever. Shawn came out on the losing end of the 25 minute epic, but made the silver anniversary of Wrestlemania worth the watch. Amidst all the guest hosts on Raw Shawn returns at Summerslam, united with Triple H for the third, and consequently final incarnation of DX. They beat two of the 3rd generation up and comers in Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes. Ted and Cody made Michaels tap in their Breaking Point tag match with DX, and ultimately came up short in their Hell in a Cell match with DX at the Hell in a Cell PPV. Enter Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho and The Big Show, otherwise known as Jerishow. DX becomes No.1 contenders for the titles and at TLC, HBK and Triple H, for the first time as DX became Tag Champions. Bret Hart comes back and HBK and him reconcile over the whole Montreal Screwjob and that was a huge moment on screen.
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Which leads us into his final Wrestlemania season. Shawn says he knows he can beat The Undertaker, and challenges him to a rematch at Wrestlemania 26. The Undertaker decline, so HBK forces the issue by costing him the World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber. The next night Undertaker accepts his challenge, but under one condition, if Shawn loses his WWE career is over. The rest is history they have a second 23 minute epic battle in which Shawn goes out like the brash you kid that broke into the business. Slap to Undertaker, and a second, running, Tombstone piledriver and it's all over. This past Raw, Shawn gave his farewell speech. Thanking Vince, Triple H, us fans, the announcers, and even the video people in the back. As chants of "One more match", "Thanks Shawn", and "HBK" echo through the area, he ends by saying "Shawn Michaels has left the building." Thus ending the epic, outstanding, 25-year career or Shawn Michaels.
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My favorite pro wrestler ever, best all-around wrestler ever. I'm still sad thinking, for now, I'll never see another new HBK match, or hear another Cole "Vintage Michaels!" I loved him since I got into wrestling six years ago. Me being a Christian I feel like we're connected somehow too, on a spiritual level. I have his DVDs, I've enjoyed his matches for years, I've read his book too. I've never personally met him or saw him live at an event. And I don't think I will ever meet him, or see him live. That's unfortunate too, but I have to look at the positive. He did his job for 25 years, through the thick and the thin, the highs and lows, the good and the bad. Shawn gave us something to look forward too each week or each Par-Per-View. While I may not have grown up with him, per-say, I know a lot of people have. There's been a lot of great matches and moments over the years. Some funny and upbeat and some sad and dreary, such as Monday. But it's his career, his life, he's done everything there is to do but be with his family. Will he ever come back for a match? I don't know. He seemed like he was definitely done for now. Do I want him to do another match? Yes, and I don't know anyone who would say no to that question. But right now we need to rejoice in the fact that he gave us 25 years of his life, and 25 years of memories. Whether I call him Mr. Wrestlemania, Showstopper or The Heartbreak Kid, all I'm really saying is, thank you Shawn Michaels.
Sincerely,
Matthew "Fat Jesus" Day
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Smackdown Lowdown 3/26/10
Video Packagefest part 3 aka Smackdown aka The Last stop on the road to Wrestlemania has come and gone. I'm late with this post cause you all know I'm a lazy f***. Haha Anywho taped from San Jose, Cali (thanks for telling us all each week Truth) here's the Smackdown lowdown!
Drew McIntyre/Kane/Shelton Benjamin/Matt Hardy/Dolph Ziggler beat Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston/Jack Swagger/Evan Bourne in a 10-man Smackdown vs Raw Money in The Bank tag match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
We get to see all these entrances, only longer, this evening. Joy. At least I only have to heard R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth super-long rapping entrance once. Joy. Anywho it was a big as hell tag match the took about 20 minutes. It had good action, and it wasn't just a big cluster-f*** of finishers like it would've been on Raw. As it turns out, it came down to my two picks to win Money in the Bank, Christian and McIntyre with McIntyre getting the pinfall off a Future Shock on Christian. Nice. Reinforces, for me, that one of them will win.
Video Packagefest part 3 is beginning now with the Edge/Jericho package! (#14) It highlights Edge's return and win of the Royal Rumble, Jericho winning the WHC at EC and all the fuedy stuff they've done up until. Now, my second favorite package of the five ones they've been cycling.
Vickie Guerrero/Michelle McCool (Womens Champion)/Layla/Alicia Fox/Maryse (Diva's Champion) beat Beth Phoenix in a 5-on-1 handicap match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Well it was Vickie's first Divas match. What about her matches with Santina? Oh, I guess we're just looking the other way on that fact. Anywho, she had a surprise for our newly face Ms. Phoenix, it was that she'd be in 5-on-1 action. No not porn. (Thanks for posting Val Venis) Anywho typical beat down, Beth fights 'em off for awhile then gets the straight kick from "Mrs. Necrophiliac",who tags in Vickie who gets the pinfall. They set up for Vickie to do The Whale Splash. But wait! The face divas to the rescue, including a retuning Mickie James-Canton, and my beloved Eve Torres-Day. They leave Beth/Vickie in the ring and Vickie's pants gets ripped off. My God, her granny panties said "excuse me" and 100% of the people watching threw up. And the first hour of Smackdown was worth watch for the soul fact that Striker yell out, "Give them back to her!" Epic win.
I'm assuming there's a video package here (#15), and I'm going to guess it's the Cena/Batista one. Cause does it really matter if I put 'em in the right places. I think not. Good package, good feud.
Cue the best in the world at what he does, cause it's promo time! With a bonus science lesson and Chris skillfully spouts the word form of "DNA". They are virtually equal on on level, but it's Edge's DNA that holding back. Also his weakness caused him to injure his Achilles tendon, neck and pectorals. It's not his fault, haha, cause Chris blames it on his grandpa or possibly his mother. Nice. Out comes Edge and he ready to brawl, but Jericho bails, cause I guess he sick of getting speared, but let the title in the ring. And my boy Edge holds the title high to end another good, non-video package, Jericho/Edge promo.
Cue another video package, whether it was at this point or not. (#16) I'll go on a limb and say this was the Hart/McMahon one. I like it, it's not gonna be Benoit/Angle, but I'm gonna enjoy it cause I legit like Bret Hart.
There wasn't a package after the main event, so this is the last one before Wrestlemania and our 17th one in the three main shows this week. My God. But, it was fun ride wasn't it. I'm almost sad to see vP-fest go. But alas it'll be back for Wrestlemania 27. As you probably figured out, this one is the last one I didn't talk about. My favorite of the three. The Johnny Cash song, classic footage showing, Undertaker/HBK package, I love it.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) w/The Miz (Unified Tag Team/Untied States Champion) beat R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth w/John Morrison via DQ: 1/5 or 0.5/5 Stars
Not really a match, as their still trying to put over that Truth/Morrison could win Sunday and that their a cohesive unit. Joy, we know they are. Make them lose and PUT JOHN MORRISON IN THE F***ING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT PICTURE! Sorry for yelling, at least there's no midgets running around right?
Smackdown: 6/10
Last Week: 5/10
It's just been average, Video Packagefest made it better in my eyes, cause you gotta enjoy the little things. The 10 man tag was much better than expected, a good Y2J/Edge promo, and the backstage stuff at AXXess looked pretty damn cool. All in all, a solid, very very promo heavy show.
Also before I sign off my last blog before Wrestlemaina I wanna link you to Rey Mysterio/Tyson Kidd's match on Superstars. Now I know you all watch it he way. (Hehe) But, this has been my favorite WWE match I've seen all year. And The Hart Dynasty needs a tag push. 'Nuff said. Enjoy.
#1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW7K-IY6Khs&feature=related
#2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATLhntGsLzM&feature=related
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Drew McIntyre/Kane/Shelton Benjamin/Matt Hardy/Dolph Ziggler beat Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston/Jack Swagger/Evan Bourne in a 10-man Smackdown vs Raw Money in The Bank tag match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
We get to see all these entrances, only longer, this evening. Joy. At least I only have to heard R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth super-long rapping entrance once. Joy. Anywho it was a big as hell tag match the took about 20 minutes. It had good action, and it wasn't just a big cluster-f*** of finishers like it would've been on Raw. As it turns out, it came down to my two picks to win Money in the Bank, Christian and McIntyre with McIntyre getting the pinfall off a Future Shock on Christian. Nice. Reinforces, for me, that one of them will win.
Video Packagefest part 3 is beginning now with the Edge/Jericho package! (#14) It highlights Edge's return and win of the Royal Rumble, Jericho winning the WHC at EC and all the fuedy stuff they've done up until. Now, my second favorite package of the five ones they've been cycling.
Vickie Guerrero/Michelle McCool (Womens Champion)/Layla/Alicia Fox/Maryse (Diva's Champion) beat Beth Phoenix in a 5-on-1 handicap match: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Well it was Vickie's first Divas match. What about her matches with Santina? Oh, I guess we're just looking the other way on that fact. Anywho, she had a surprise for our newly face Ms. Phoenix, it was that she'd be in 5-on-1 action. No not porn. (Thanks for posting Val Venis) Anywho typical beat down, Beth fights 'em off for awhile then gets the straight kick from "Mrs. Necrophiliac",who tags in Vickie who gets the pinfall. They set up for Vickie to do The Whale Splash. But wait! The face divas to the rescue, including a retuning Mickie James-Canton, and my beloved Eve Torres-Day. They leave Beth/Vickie in the ring and Vickie's pants gets ripped off. My God, her granny panties said "excuse me" and 100% of the people watching threw up. And the first hour of Smackdown was worth watch for the soul fact that Striker yell out, "Give them back to her!" Epic win.
I'm assuming there's a video package here (#15), and I'm going to guess it's the Cena/Batista one. Cause does it really matter if I put 'em in the right places. I think not. Good package, good feud.
Cue the best in the world at what he does, cause it's promo time! With a bonus science lesson and Chris skillfully spouts the word form of "DNA". They are virtually equal on on level, but it's Edge's DNA that holding back. Also his weakness caused him to injure his Achilles tendon, neck and pectorals. It's not his fault, haha, cause Chris blames it on his grandpa or possibly his mother. Nice. Out comes Edge and he ready to brawl, but Jericho bails, cause I guess he sick of getting speared, but let the title in the ring. And my boy Edge holds the title high to end another good, non-video package, Jericho/Edge promo.
Cue another video package, whether it was at this point or not. (#16) I'll go on a limb and say this was the Hart/McMahon one. I like it, it's not gonna be Benoit/Angle, but I'm gonna enjoy it cause I legit like Bret Hart.
There wasn't a package after the main event, so this is the last one before Wrestlemania and our 17th one in the three main shows this week. My God. But, it was fun ride wasn't it. I'm almost sad to see vP-fest go. But alas it'll be back for Wrestlemania 27. As you probably figured out, this one is the last one I didn't talk about. My favorite of the three. The Johnny Cash song, classic footage showing, Undertaker/HBK package, I love it.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) w/The Miz (Unified Tag Team/Untied States Champion) beat R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth w/John Morrison via DQ: 1/5 or 0.5/5 Stars
Not really a match, as their still trying to put over that Truth/Morrison could win Sunday and that their a cohesive unit. Joy, we know they are. Make them lose and PUT JOHN MORRISON IN THE F***ING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT PICTURE! Sorry for yelling, at least there's no midgets running around right?
Smackdown: 6/10
Last Week: 5/10
It's just been average, Video Packagefest made it better in my eyes, cause you gotta enjoy the little things. The 10 man tag was much better than expected, a good Y2J/Edge promo, and the backstage stuff at AXXess looked pretty damn cool. All in all, a solid, very very promo heavy show.
Also before I sign off my last blog before Wrestlemaina I wanna link you to Rey Mysterio/Tyson Kidd's match on Superstars. Now I know you all watch it he way. (Hehe) But, this has been my favorite WWE match I've seen all year. And The Hart Dynasty needs a tag push. 'Nuff said. Enjoy.
#1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW7K-IY6Khs&feature=related
#2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATLhntGsLzM&feature=related
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The NXT Notes 3/23/10
Well here is Video Packagefest 2010 Part Dux! We have the rookies and their pros in the reality type show that got sucked in by the production team. Anywho, taped from the same place Raw, Superstars, and Smackdown were taped Monday, here's the NXT notes.
Heath Slater/"Mr. Flamboyant" Justin Gabriel w/Christian beat Skip "To Mu Lou" Sheffield/Wade "The Botanist" Barret w/William Regal in a tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Maybe it's the fact their pushing the one man moron band, Heath Slater so much, or that the only guy in this match I liked is Barret. Kind-of like Gabriel though. Either way this match was only ok, nothing standout, no finishers, no 450 Splash, and nothing wowed me. End match Barrett goes for a big boot on Slater but hits Skippie and gets rolled up for the win. At least I think that's what happened, I don't remember the match it was that generic. WE have an elimination next week. Maybe WWE got Jeff Probst, and maybe there will be a elimination ceremony involving Vince saying "Your Fired!" (Thanks for posting Donald Trump)
Next we have the video package for Daniel Bryan. (#9) I don't mind the packages, but every time they show them its the same one. I know their trying to get us to know the rookies, but if your going to do this show different stuff from them every time. It's not hard to film a minute and half questionnaire on other stuff they do.
Cue an Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package. (#10) And it's our typical rundown of how their match came to be, HBK screwing 'Taker at EC, then Undertaker making it Career v Streak, and finally HBK wanting the no DQ situation. I like the HBK/Taker packages the most. Juss sayin'
Here comes, you guessed it, another video package. (#11) This time it about the Vince/Bret feud. I'm really getting into it, Brets cutting stellar promos and we chronicle everything from Vince messing with Bret all those weeks, to the broken leg, to Vince wanting the Wrestlemania match, and to Stone Cold making them sign the contract and Bret revealing he's fine. I love Bret, and glad he's back, and I'm sure I'll go nuts when Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter on Vince Sunday. If you don't get excited for this..well there's something wrong with you. Again juss sayin'
We all know Darren Young right? Well here's a video package for him. (#12) Refer back to what I wrote on Daniel Bryan's for thoughts on these.
Oh look ANOTHER video package, and it's for Cena/Batisa. (#13) We saw five packages for them last night so we can chalk up another one for them. If you watched Raw, you know their pushing this hard. (That's what she said) At least it fresh, Batista is epic in the heel role, and the crowd is hot as the Devil's a** for this feud.
David "Google Me" Otunga/"Unh Se, Unh Se, Unh Se" Darren Young w/Straight Edge Society beat Daniel Bryan/Michael Tarver w/Carlito: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Oh look there's 15 minutes left in NXT at this point and we're finally getting this match, no not going. No their starting to walk down to the ring. Nice. The point in the match I wanna point out is when Bryan had Young in the Guillotine submisson and he flows into the arm scissors with the cross-face. My God it was perfect, and the sole reason he needs to win this. I never liked Tarver, and don't remeber him even getting into the match. Anywho, Bryan whips Otunga into Tarver, and goes for something of the second rope and misses, which allows Otunga to hit The Search Engine, his massive spine-buster. Yeah I came up with that name. Pretty good hunh? We end with Bryans in the ring with Tarver/Carltio hating on him for losing.
NXT: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Not that the action was bad per say, but watching 40 minutes of commercials and video packages and 20 minutes turn me off from the show. Yeah they're pushing Wrestlemania big time (No not Wrestlemania 22), but it'd be nice to see wrestling during the week before 'Mania. I'm going to watch Superstars tonight cause I hear Rey/Kidd is on there, but all in all I expect it to be Video Packagefest Part 3! Anywho, next week is the first elimination, and I say Michael Tarver goes, just cause he's not great. To be blunt. No RVD, not a blunt, get outta here.
That's it for The NXT Notes. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Heath Slater/"Mr. Flamboyant" Justin Gabriel w/Christian beat Skip "To Mu Lou" Sheffield/Wade "The Botanist" Barret w/William Regal in a tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Maybe it's the fact their pushing the one man moron band, Heath Slater so much, or that the only guy in this match I liked is Barret. Kind-of like Gabriel though. Either way this match was only ok, nothing standout, no finishers, no 450 Splash, and nothing wowed me. End match Barrett goes for a big boot on Slater but hits Skippie and gets rolled up for the win. At least I think that's what happened, I don't remember the match it was that generic. WE have an elimination next week. Maybe WWE got Jeff Probst, and maybe there will be a elimination ceremony involving Vince saying "Your Fired!" (Thanks for posting Donald Trump)
Next we have the video package for Daniel Bryan. (#9) I don't mind the packages, but every time they show them its the same one. I know their trying to get us to know the rookies, but if your going to do this show different stuff from them every time. It's not hard to film a minute and half questionnaire on other stuff they do.
Cue an Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package. (#10) And it's our typical rundown of how their match came to be, HBK screwing 'Taker at EC, then Undertaker making it Career v Streak, and finally HBK wanting the no DQ situation. I like the HBK/Taker packages the most. Juss sayin'
Here comes, you guessed it, another video package. (#11) This time it about the Vince/Bret feud. I'm really getting into it, Brets cutting stellar promos and we chronicle everything from Vince messing with Bret all those weeks, to the broken leg, to Vince wanting the Wrestlemania match, and to Stone Cold making them sign the contract and Bret revealing he's fine. I love Bret, and glad he's back, and I'm sure I'll go nuts when Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter on Vince Sunday. If you don't get excited for this..well there's something wrong with you. Again juss sayin'
We all know Darren Young right? Well here's a video package for him. (#12) Refer back to what I wrote on Daniel Bryan's for thoughts on these.
Oh look ANOTHER video package, and it's for Cena/Batisa. (#13) We saw five packages for them last night so we can chalk up another one for them. If you watched Raw, you know their pushing this hard. (That's what she said) At least it fresh, Batista is epic in the heel role, and the crowd is hot as the Devil's a** for this feud.
David "Google Me" Otunga/"Unh Se, Unh Se, Unh Se" Darren Young w/Straight Edge Society beat Daniel Bryan/Michael Tarver w/Carlito: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Oh look there's 15 minutes left in NXT at this point and we're finally getting this match, no not going. No their starting to walk down to the ring. Nice. The point in the match I wanna point out is when Bryan had Young in the Guillotine submisson and he flows into the arm scissors with the cross-face. My God it was perfect, and the sole reason he needs to win this. I never liked Tarver, and don't remeber him even getting into the match. Anywho, Bryan whips Otunga into Tarver, and goes for something of the second rope and misses, which allows Otunga to hit The Search Engine, his massive spine-buster. Yeah I came up with that name. Pretty good hunh? We end with Bryans in the ring with Tarver/Carltio hating on him for losing.
NXT: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Not that the action was bad per say, but watching 40 minutes of commercials and video packages and 20 minutes turn me off from the show. Yeah they're pushing Wrestlemania big time (No not Wrestlemania 22), but it'd be nice to see wrestling during the week before 'Mania. I'm going to watch Superstars tonight cause I hear Rey/Kidd is on there, but all in all I expect it to be Video Packagefest Part 3! Anywho, next week is the first elimination, and I say Michael Tarver goes, just cause he's not great. To be blunt. No RVD, not a blunt, get outta here.
That's it for The NXT Notes. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
WWE Wrestlemania 26 Picks
I'm excited, and this has been a good week so far! Here are my Wrestlemania 26 picks!
Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix vs. Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Michelle McCool/Layla/Alicia Fox in a 5-on-5 Tag team Divas match
Winners: Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix
Don't really care much, the face divas usually win at the big PPV. I want my future wife Eve Torres to get the pin too. Big surprise hunh?
Triple H vs Sheamus in a singles match
Winner: Sheamus
I'm sick of face Triple H and I think in losing he'll go heel. Also, I think the only way the Sheamus will be credible with the audience is with a win. They throw him on Raw and have him win the WWE Championship, and then he loses his main event at Wrestlemania after the precious PPV losing the title. Then he'll be the weakest looking champ ever. Going from world champ to losing in a non-main event match at 'Mania? Mid-card bound if he does lose.
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio in a singles match, if Rey loses he must join the Straight Edge Society
Winner: CM Punk
Simple, CM Punk is heel gold. He gets a crowd going just being on screen or standing on the stage/in the ring. Add in the fact WWE wants to continue this feud, and Rey's never been a heel (or anywhere near it for that matter), equals the fact that Rey needs to lose. Expect interference.
Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match
Winner: Randy Orton
Orton is over huge as a baby-face and he's been losing to the The Rich and Lisp Sons for a couple of months now. The crowd is behind him, they really don't like Ted and Cody and it's the perfect time to break up Legacy for good. So let Orton win and keep him has a face, then at the draft send Ted to Smackdown and leave Cody on Raw. no matter what though Orton wins.
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match
Winner: Bret Hart
Is there anyone out there that thinks Bret's gonna lose? No. Next is there anyone out there that thinks he won't win with the Sharpshooter? No. Am I going to mark out when he put it on Vince? Yes. Bret wins, easy pick.
Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kane vs Shelton Benjamin vs Jack Swagger vs MVP vs Matt Hardy vs Evan Bourne vs Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) in a Money In The Bank Ladder match
Winner: Drew McIntyre or Christian
I like Drew, I like he entrance, I like he cocky heel role, I like him in-ring and I like the fact they're playing it up that everyone hates his guts. Good, everyone is supposed to hate the boss favorite employee. And I don't mind if he wins it. He's got the talent, and a dual Intercontinental/World title holder would be nice to see in the WWE. My other pick is Christian, give this guy a title, or get him to Smackdown. Draft Lottery aside, this is the way to do it. I'm calling it now, if Christian wins MitB and Chris Jericho retinas later in the night, I can seem him chasing in the briefcase of Y2J and winning. And everyone would flip their s***.
ShowMiz [The Miz (United States Champion)/The Big Show] vs John Morrison/R-Truth in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship
Winners: ShowMiz (Retains)
Easy pick they threw The Good and the Bad together to get John Morrison on the PPV as well and the Tag/United States champ. I get to heat a super-sized, God forsaken "Whats-Up" theme from R-Truth as he goes down the extra long ramp for Wrestlemania. Joy. Get John Morrison in a title picture, please. Miz is on fire both in-ring/on the mic, Big Show is great is in monster heel role as of late.
Shawn Micheals [Career] vs The Undertaker [WM Streak] in a No DQ match, it can only be won by pinfall/submission
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Yeah yeah, I'm sick of the streak, and I only like 7 or 8 of his actual WM wins, because, let's face it, most of 'Takers wins were bad matches. Maybe it's the HBK fan in me that doesn't wanna see him "retire," but like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. 17-1 at Wrestlemania, who else even even going to get near that level? No one, and that why I'm picking HBK. I'm 99% Undertaker is gonna win, mostly due to him being booked for Smackdown through the summer and HBK going off the grid. But, I'm sticking with my hopes and picks HBK for the upset. I also think that someone is going to interfere, and if that happens I want it to be Triple H, and I want him to take out HBK. Please make Triple H, I'm begging you WWE who will never read this, turn him!
Batista (WWE Champion) vs John Cena in a singles match for the WWE Championship
Winner: Batista (Retains)
Batista is on fire. His monster heel, I should be the poster-boy, I don't give a f*** about you Cena, I'll f*** you up no matter what character is damn good and I actually like this feud. Mostly due to the good promos these guys have put on, but also for the fact that the match is fresh. We've seen Batista/Cena what once in all the time they've been in the WWE? I like fresh matches that we haven't seen much of. Rather than Triple H/Randy Orton for the 347,600th time. Now I'm not saying that this is gonna be a great match, as I really don't like either of them in-ring, but I think they'll work hard, and get some props from a lot of "haters". Insert a Batista/Diva joke and/or a Cena can't wrestle joke here.
Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Edge in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Edge (New WHC)
I know the best in the world at what he does has only had the title for one month. And I know that I've been clamoring for a nice Y2J title reign, but I want Edge to win. I want the cliche, get injured, surprise return to win the Royal Rumble, and winning the title at the biggest PPV. Yeah Edge has been the transition champ over the years, but him and Y2J are having a good verbal feud. I want Edge to win to keep the feud going. But, I think it will even if Chris retains. Either way we're going to get a show stealing match tonight. It's not Raw so we'll get good action, from two of the top guys in the WWE right now. -Insert Christian here if he wins Money in the Bank-
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Here's the picks from my friend who also sent me pick for Elimination Chamber. I think I'll post them with mine every PPV, as long as he send 'em to meh. Anywho here's my friends, John Currie, WM26 thoughts/picks! Thanks for writing so much and showing me up.
Triple H vs Sheamus in a singles match
Winner: Sheamus
This guy needs to go over if we are to take him seriously as a main eventer. If he loses, however, there is a small chance that he will be humbled a bit, and work his way back up to the top gradually. But It's a long shot, and I hope they don't go that route. They shouldn't risk making him look weaker than he already does at the moment.
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio in a singles match, if Rey loses he must join the Straight Edge Society
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Don't get me wrong, I want Punk to win. His heel persona is very effective and entertaining, and attracted tons of heat during his feud with Rey. However, I don't see Punk winning. Again, this is what I THINK will happen, not what should happen or what I want to happen. Any feud where Rey is forced to give something up, Rey prevails. I don't see him as part of the SES, although a reluctant heel gimmick would do wonders for the ratings. I'm picking Rey, but I hope I'm wrong.
Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match
Winner: Randy Orton
Let's break the two remaining Legacy members up already. They've had excellent matches together, but I want to see some singles action if they're not even competing for the belts. I sense some tension in this match between Ted/Cody. They've always had jealousy between the two as far as who the better man is, so I'm certain we'll see the final chapter on the Grandest Stage of them All.
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match
Winner: Bret Hart
I think this is self-explanatory. It would make no sense for Vince to win, on many levels. I don't know exactly how Vince and Bret agreed to do this feud, but Bret would never agreed to it if it meant getting beat at Wrestlemania, and leaving the WWE on another bad note.
My question is, how is Vince going to cheat? I'm guessing a Supestar is getting involved, but Bret is one step ahead of him and brings backup as well. Batista/Cena comes to mind, but they've distanced themselves from this feud. I would really like to see The Hart Dynasty make some kind of appearance, but that's asking too much I suppose.
Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kane vs Shelton Benjamin vs Jack Swagger vs MVP vs Matt Hardy vs Evan Bourne vs Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) vs Kofi Kingston in a Money In The Bank Ladder match
Winner: Shelton Benjamin or Christian
Shelton deserves the gold more than anyone in this match, with the exception of maybe Christian, my #2 pick. He has carried the past 3 or so MITB matches and done very interesting things in them, and has proven to be very formidable in the lackluster reincarnation of ECW. I hope he gets finally gets a shot this time around.
If not, then Christian is the next one in line who should get it. He was worthy of his lengthy ECW run, and could easily provide fresh, new feuds for the top title, and maybe even help bring credibility to the WWEHC/WHC, which seem to be in limbo between the top guys in the brands (Cena/HHH/Batista/Jericho/Orton). Let's make it a bit more interesting, so we don't have Superman Cena main eventing every single freaking PPV.
ShowMiz [The Miz (United States Champion)/The Big Show] vs John Morrison/R-Truth in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship
Winners: ShowMiz (Retains)
Please, don't let this tag team go over here. Seriously, they were randomly thrown together against the SES and the Hart Dynasty, and won. Although I would love to see Morrison back in tag competition, I believe it's time to move on for the World Title. Or at least teaming with someone who doesn't ask us what's up every five seconds.
And by the way, they don't even have a team name. That's how forgettable they are. "Truth and Wisdom" is the best name I heard, but I think "The Odd Couple" fits better.
Shawn Micheals [Career] vs The Undertaker [WM Streak] in a No DQ match, it can only be won by pinfall/submission
Winner: HBK
Let's face it. They're both past their prime, regardless of how many more matches they still have left in them. HBK, in my opinion, looks to be in much better shape, and can still work a more limited schedule. Taker, on the other hand, is getting burned out (no pun intended). I'm worried that if the streak is kept alive, there will always be that "one more match," and Taker will keep having to outdo the previous Wrestlemania. I'm not even sure WM26 will outshine their performance last year, which is why they added extra stipulations to try and keep it interesting.
I hate to see HBK go, but that's not why I think he will win. He is the one person I can think of who deserves to end the streak, and I never thought I'd say it. I don't want some newbie to pull an upset, and I certainly hope Cena doesn't do it, and don't think it will happen. After seeing the montage of HBK's accomplisments on the final Raw before WM, it only makes sense that Shawn Michaels does what no one else is able to do.
Streaks really are meant to be broken. Just think how annoying it would be if a wrestler never lost a match in his entire career. Would that be entertaining, or would it be predictable? I think if Taker lost, it would be both entertaining AND unpredictable. And it certainly wouldn't tarnish his already impressive list of accomplishments. For example, I don't think he has ever submitted (excluding the Montreal Scewjob V 2.0 involving CM Punk).
Either way, if their old age is becoming a burden, let them both take a nice long break like last year, maybe even longer.
Batista (WWE Champion) vs John Cena in a singles match for the WWE Championship
Winner: Batista (Retains)
Ever since turning heel, this guy has been on fire. His first promo with Cena was absolutely amazing, and making Cena look weak will create a rare opening that could involve a new gimmick. Because you can only keep the same freaking posterboy for so long before the crowd gets tired of him and turns on him, and calls him out by saying he can't wrestle. Oh wait, that already happened.
Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Edge in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Edge (New WHC)
I don't like where this feud ended up, but I guess I'll give my thoughts on it anyway.
Edge is becoming quite the face here. I knew from the time he gave that promo on the Tron back during his injury, this would be an entertaining feud. Well, I was half right.
It just seemed that the confrontations had the same exact formula. They recap what happened over the past 7 or so months, Edge makes a funny, calls Jericho out on being The Best in the World at Being Speared. And for some reason, creative thought it would be a good idea to douse us with Spear chants for the rest of the feud, and make it the premise of their confromtations. It's as if they're watering down the whole buildup of Edge's recovery, or even the fact that Edge eliminated Jericho at the Rumble. Nope, they want us to keep in mind that Edge will always spear Jericho. Never before has a finishing move been so popular and chant-worthy.
I'm interested to see what kind of feuds Face Edge will have as champ again, should be refreshing from over 6 months ago. I'm surprised how over he's been, and how entertaining he was compared to Heel Edge, but let's keep it going please.
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Anywho this should be a good 'Mania. It has a great line up. It rivals WM17, 19, and 21 in my book. At this point, I'm 5 hours away from the start and I'm mucho excited. It should be good. I might be on Twitter/Facebook the show so go to one of these places if you wanna see my thoughts as the four hour show rages.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://twitter.com/MatthewMDay
That's it for my Wrestlemania 26 picks/thoughts. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Layin' the Smackdown should be up shortly. I liked Video Packagefest Part 3. And the video package counter return for the last time as well.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix vs. Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Michelle McCool/Layla/Alicia Fox in a 5-on-5 Tag team Divas match
Winners: Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix
Don't really care much, the face divas usually win at the big PPV. I want my future wife Eve Torres to get the pin too. Big surprise hunh?
Triple H vs Sheamus in a singles match
Winner: Sheamus
I'm sick of face Triple H and I think in losing he'll go heel. Also, I think the only way the Sheamus will be credible with the audience is with a win. They throw him on Raw and have him win the WWE Championship, and then he loses his main event at Wrestlemania after the precious PPV losing the title. Then he'll be the weakest looking champ ever. Going from world champ to losing in a non-main event match at 'Mania? Mid-card bound if he does lose.
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio in a singles match, if Rey loses he must join the Straight Edge Society
Winner: CM Punk
Simple, CM Punk is heel gold. He gets a crowd going just being on screen or standing on the stage/in the ring. Add in the fact WWE wants to continue this feud, and Rey's never been a heel (or anywhere near it for that matter), equals the fact that Rey needs to lose. Expect interference.
Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match
Winner: Randy Orton
Orton is over huge as a baby-face and he's been losing to the The Rich and Lisp Sons for a couple of months now. The crowd is behind him, they really don't like Ted and Cody and it's the perfect time to break up Legacy for good. So let Orton win and keep him has a face, then at the draft send Ted to Smackdown and leave Cody on Raw. no matter what though Orton wins.
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match
Winner: Bret Hart
Is there anyone out there that thinks Bret's gonna lose? No. Next is there anyone out there that thinks he won't win with the Sharpshooter? No. Am I going to mark out when he put it on Vince? Yes. Bret wins, easy pick.
Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kane vs Shelton Benjamin vs Jack Swagger vs MVP vs Matt Hardy vs Evan Bourne vs Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) in a Money In The Bank Ladder match
Winner: Drew McIntyre or Christian
I like Drew, I like he entrance, I like he cocky heel role, I like him in-ring and I like the fact they're playing it up that everyone hates his guts. Good, everyone is supposed to hate the boss favorite employee. And I don't mind if he wins it. He's got the talent, and a dual Intercontinental/World title holder would be nice to see in the WWE. My other pick is Christian, give this guy a title, or get him to Smackdown. Draft Lottery aside, this is the way to do it. I'm calling it now, if Christian wins MitB and Chris Jericho retinas later in the night, I can seem him chasing in the briefcase of Y2J and winning. And everyone would flip their s***.
ShowMiz [The Miz (United States Champion)/The Big Show] vs John Morrison/R-Truth in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship
Winners: ShowMiz (Retains)
Easy pick they threw The Good and the Bad together to get John Morrison on the PPV as well and the Tag/United States champ. I get to heat a super-sized, God forsaken "Whats-Up" theme from R-Truth as he goes down the extra long ramp for Wrestlemania. Joy. Get John Morrison in a title picture, please. Miz is on fire both in-ring/on the mic, Big Show is great is in monster heel role as of late.
Shawn Micheals [Career] vs The Undertaker [WM Streak] in a No DQ match, it can only be won by pinfall/submission
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Yeah yeah, I'm sick of the streak, and I only like 7 or 8 of his actual WM wins, because, let's face it, most of 'Takers wins were bad matches. Maybe it's the HBK fan in me that doesn't wanna see him "retire," but like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. 17-1 at Wrestlemania, who else even even going to get near that level? No one, and that why I'm picking HBK. I'm 99% Undertaker is gonna win, mostly due to him being booked for Smackdown through the summer and HBK going off the grid. But, I'm sticking with my hopes and picks HBK for the upset. I also think that someone is going to interfere, and if that happens I want it to be Triple H, and I want him to take out HBK. Please make Triple H, I'm begging you WWE who will never read this, turn him!
Batista (WWE Champion) vs John Cena in a singles match for the WWE Championship
Winner: Batista (Retains)
Batista is on fire. His monster heel, I should be the poster-boy, I don't give a f*** about you Cena, I'll f*** you up no matter what character is damn good and I actually like this feud. Mostly due to the good promos these guys have put on, but also for the fact that the match is fresh. We've seen Batista/Cena what once in all the time they've been in the WWE? I like fresh matches that we haven't seen much of. Rather than Triple H/Randy Orton for the 347,600th time. Now I'm not saying that this is gonna be a great match, as I really don't like either of them in-ring, but I think they'll work hard, and get some props from a lot of "haters". Insert a Batista/Diva joke and/or a Cena can't wrestle joke here.
Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Edge in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Edge (New WHC)
I know the best in the world at what he does has only had the title for one month. And I know that I've been clamoring for a nice Y2J title reign, but I want Edge to win. I want the cliche, get injured, surprise return to win the Royal Rumble, and winning the title at the biggest PPV. Yeah Edge has been the transition champ over the years, but him and Y2J are having a good verbal feud. I want Edge to win to keep the feud going. But, I think it will even if Chris retains. Either way we're going to get a show stealing match tonight. It's not Raw so we'll get good action, from two of the top guys in the WWE right now. -Insert Christian here if he wins Money in the Bank-
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Here's the picks from my friend who also sent me pick for Elimination Chamber. I think I'll post them with mine every PPV, as long as he send 'em to meh. Anywho here's my friends, John Currie, WM26 thoughts/picks! Thanks for writing so much and showing me up.
Triple H vs Sheamus in a singles match
Winner: Sheamus
This guy needs to go over if we are to take him seriously as a main eventer. If he loses, however, there is a small chance that he will be humbled a bit, and work his way back up to the top gradually. But It's a long shot, and I hope they don't go that route. They shouldn't risk making him look weaker than he already does at the moment.
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio in a singles match, if Rey loses he must join the Straight Edge Society
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Don't get me wrong, I want Punk to win. His heel persona is very effective and entertaining, and attracted tons of heat during his feud with Rey. However, I don't see Punk winning. Again, this is what I THINK will happen, not what should happen or what I want to happen. Any feud where Rey is forced to give something up, Rey prevails. I don't see him as part of the SES, although a reluctant heel gimmick would do wonders for the ratings. I'm picking Rey, but I hope I'm wrong.
Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted DiBiase in a Triple Threat match
Winner: Randy Orton
Let's break the two remaining Legacy members up already. They've had excellent matches together, but I want to see some singles action if they're not even competing for the belts. I sense some tension in this match between Ted/Cody. They've always had jealousy between the two as far as who the better man is, so I'm certain we'll see the final chapter on the Grandest Stage of them All.
Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match
Winner: Bret Hart
I think this is self-explanatory. It would make no sense for Vince to win, on many levels. I don't know exactly how Vince and Bret agreed to do this feud, but Bret would never agreed to it if it meant getting beat at Wrestlemania, and leaving the WWE on another bad note.
My question is, how is Vince going to cheat? I'm guessing a Supestar is getting involved, but Bret is one step ahead of him and brings backup as well. Batista/Cena comes to mind, but they've distanced themselves from this feud. I would really like to see The Hart Dynasty make some kind of appearance, but that's asking too much I suppose.
Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kane vs Shelton Benjamin vs Jack Swagger vs MVP vs Matt Hardy vs Evan Bourne vs Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) vs Kofi Kingston in a Money In The Bank Ladder match
Winner: Shelton Benjamin or Christian
Shelton deserves the gold more than anyone in this match, with the exception of maybe Christian, my #2 pick. He has carried the past 3 or so MITB matches and done very interesting things in them, and has proven to be very formidable in the lackluster reincarnation of ECW. I hope he gets finally gets a shot this time around.
If not, then Christian is the next one in line who should get it. He was worthy of his lengthy ECW run, and could easily provide fresh, new feuds for the top title, and maybe even help bring credibility to the WWEHC/WHC, which seem to be in limbo between the top guys in the brands (Cena/HHH/Batista/Jericho/Orton). Let's make it a bit more interesting, so we don't have Superman Cena main eventing every single freaking PPV.
ShowMiz [The Miz (United States Champion)/The Big Show] vs John Morrison/R-Truth in a tag team match for the Unified Tag Team Championship
Winners: ShowMiz (Retains)
Please, don't let this tag team go over here. Seriously, they were randomly thrown together against the SES and the Hart Dynasty, and won. Although I would love to see Morrison back in tag competition, I believe it's time to move on for the World Title. Or at least teaming with someone who doesn't ask us what's up every five seconds.
And by the way, they don't even have a team name. That's how forgettable they are. "Truth and Wisdom" is the best name I heard, but I think "The Odd Couple" fits better.
Shawn Micheals [Career] vs The Undertaker [WM Streak] in a No DQ match, it can only be won by pinfall/submission
Winner: HBK
Let's face it. They're both past their prime, regardless of how many more matches they still have left in them. HBK, in my opinion, looks to be in much better shape, and can still work a more limited schedule. Taker, on the other hand, is getting burned out (no pun intended). I'm worried that if the streak is kept alive, there will always be that "one more match," and Taker will keep having to outdo the previous Wrestlemania. I'm not even sure WM26 will outshine their performance last year, which is why they added extra stipulations to try and keep it interesting.
I hate to see HBK go, but that's not why I think he will win. He is the one person I can think of who deserves to end the streak, and I never thought I'd say it. I don't want some newbie to pull an upset, and I certainly hope Cena doesn't do it, and don't think it will happen. After seeing the montage of HBK's accomplisments on the final Raw before WM, it only makes sense that Shawn Michaels does what no one else is able to do.
Streaks really are meant to be broken. Just think how annoying it would be if a wrestler never lost a match in his entire career. Would that be entertaining, or would it be predictable? I think if Taker lost, it would be both entertaining AND unpredictable. And it certainly wouldn't tarnish his already impressive list of accomplishments. For example, I don't think he has ever submitted (excluding the Montreal Scewjob V 2.0 involving CM Punk).
Either way, if their old age is becoming a burden, let them both take a nice long break like last year, maybe even longer.
Batista (WWE Champion) vs John Cena in a singles match for the WWE Championship
Winner: Batista (Retains)
Ever since turning heel, this guy has been on fire. His first promo with Cena was absolutely amazing, and making Cena look weak will create a rare opening that could involve a new gimmick. Because you can only keep the same freaking posterboy for so long before the crowd gets tired of him and turns on him, and calls him out by saying he can't wrestle. Oh wait, that already happened.
Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Edge in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Edge (New WHC)
I don't like where this feud ended up, but I guess I'll give my thoughts on it anyway.
Edge is becoming quite the face here. I knew from the time he gave that promo on the Tron back during his injury, this would be an entertaining feud. Well, I was half right.
It just seemed that the confrontations had the same exact formula. They recap what happened over the past 7 or so months, Edge makes a funny, calls Jericho out on being The Best in the World at Being Speared. And for some reason, creative thought it would be a good idea to douse us with Spear chants for the rest of the feud, and make it the premise of their confromtations. It's as if they're watering down the whole buildup of Edge's recovery, or even the fact that Edge eliminated Jericho at the Rumble. Nope, they want us to keep in mind that Edge will always spear Jericho. Never before has a finishing move been so popular and chant-worthy.
I'm interested to see what kind of feuds Face Edge will have as champ again, should be refreshing from over 6 months ago. I'm surprised how over he's been, and how entertaining he was compared to Heel Edge, but let's keep it going please.
--------------------------------------------
Anywho this should be a good 'Mania. It has a great line up. It rivals WM17, 19, and 21 in my book. At this point, I'm 5 hours away from the start and I'm mucho excited. It should be good. I might be on Twitter/Facebook the show so go to one of these places if you wanna see my thoughts as the four hour show rages.
http://www.facebook.com/matthewmday
http://twitter.com/MatthewMDay
That's it for my Wrestlemania 26 picks/thoughts. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Layin' the Smackdown should be up shortly. I liked Video Packagefest Part 3. And the video package counter return for the last time as well.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Layin' Down the Raw 3/22/10
We can call the Raw 6 days before Wrestlemania 25, "Video Packagefest 2010!" Cause we'd rather relive the past, than wrestle in the present apparently. Anywho, live from San Jose, it's time to lay down the Raw!
We start out with Mr. Wrestlemania, naturally, the last Raw before Wrestlemania 26. I'm excited, this card is stacked. Shawn tell us that he feels like he can do anything and he's going to beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. HBK then tells us not to be confused by the fact that his My Journey DVD just came out. Why? Cause he's making a Vol.2 of it starting Sunday. Just as he's about to gimmick infringe on 'Taker, the lights go out and video package (#1) of HBK's career plays on the screen. At the end of the package it said "Shawn Michaels Career 1985-2010," and apparently Undertaker minored at ITT Tech to make that for the production crew. Who knew? Cue Pete Rose to come out in his pink shirt, and boy is he nervous as all hell. Glad he wasn't on my TV much, he was quite uncomfortable. Good ol' Petey has set up Shawn in a match with Kane. He wants revenge for all the beatings he's gotten from his over the years. Nice HBK's potential last Raw match is against Kane. No 15 minute awesome-fest with CM Punk or Y2J? I'd like that. But obviously what do I know? Shawn did good and Pete was holding in from pissing himself outta fear.
We see the video package of back in 2008 when Cena/Batista met at Summerslam for the first time in a match and Cena broke his neck. (#2)
John Morrison beat The Miz (/United States Champion/Unified Tag Team Champion) via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/10
Big Show and Mr. Narcissistic himself R-Truth were on commentary. Let's just say Big Show is gold on the mic and R-Truth comes off as even more of a moron. Why make him try to talk, let him "rap" and do his stupid "Whats Up?" every five seconds. Oh there's actually a good match going on between Miz/Morrison. Miz miscalculated something and set-up JoMo to his Starship Pain for the win. Nice match, I want more of them one-on-one (no homo). Maybe for a world title? Oop, there goes me thinking again.
Confrontation between the rivals, and even though their both faces, Triple H is Super-Face, while Orton is only a regular one. They still hate each other, common enemies or not.
Another Cena/Batista video package (#3), and I don't even remember what it's about. Something with Batista cutting a great heel promo. Keep him heel please, he good at that and I actually like when he's heel.
"Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston beat Vladimir Kozlof in a Money in the Bank qualifier singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
The guy from Africa, with the Boston accent and the Jamaican theme music get's mauled the whole match. I don't know if Cole used "Controlled Frenzy" in this match but I'm coining the term "Soviet Hammer" for Kozolf. Hope it takes off. Oh yeah Swagger was on commentary, I didn't like him in that role. I'd rather have Raw misuse his talent in the ring rather than have him suck and spit (<- Lisp joke) on the mic. Anywho we all knew Kofi was winning and he hits Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall. And the insane spots continue to grow for this year's MitB match.
We have an official announcement that Stu Harts getting into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. (#4) Nice, awesome dude, great trainer and great personality. Congrats Hart family.
Sheamus/Cody "Mr. Lisp #1" Rhodes/Ted DiBiase beat Randy Orton/Triple H in a 3-on-2 Handicap match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Teddy, and Cody cut a promo saying that it didn't matter who was going to beat Orton on Sunday as long as he lost cause their the new up and comers, and blah blah blah. Onto the match, it was too short. This could've been a nice ten minute match with some good action between the old/new superstars. But it was half that and seemed much to rushed, as most Raw matches since mid-2009. End match Orton was going for the DDT of the ropes on one of Legacy and Sheamus hit the Blarney Boot OUTTA NOWHERE for the 1-2-3.
Oh look another Cena/Batista video package. Nice. You'd think people don't watch Raw each week for some reason.(#5)
Right before Bret comes out we see a video package of of last week with Stone Cold and Bret revealed he was hurt, and blasted Vince with his cast. (#6) Bret comes out to a random "What?" chant by the crowd. Haha, I love how everybody got pissed at the crowd for that. Quit crying, your watching Raw, and expect bad. I like "What?" chants, as an FYI, no matter when their done. Bret says he glad his dad is going to be inducted to the Hall of Fame and that the whole Hart family will be at the ceremony. It'll be nice to see Owen again. I got blasted for <- that, and to them I say, hahaha. Bret said he's honored to be wrestling at a Wrestlemania again, like he did with Austin, HBK, Piper, Yokozuna, and Owen. And since we have to see Vince live on RAW, he came out at the end and simply said "Bret, one way or another, your screwed." (No homo #2) I liked the segment, Hart was great as usual, and Imma mark out for a Hart sharpshooter this Sunday.
Shawn Michales beat Kane in a single match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I swear if this is HBKs last TV it's a shame. He cold gone 10-15 with younger star and wow'd us before 'Maina. Instead we get him doing Pete Roses dirty work. As Shawn is going for the first Sweet Chin Music the lights go out, and they come back on and Undertaker choke-slams HBK as a revenge shot for Friday on the A-Show Smackdown. The lights go out again and Kane takes advantage, but we have a vintage HBK kicks-out of a finisher. Kane gets him up and looks like he's going for a running power-slam, but HBK slips out the back and hit the super-kick for the win. Nice, HBK's looks ready for Wrestlemania and so am I.
Here's some more Cena/Batista video package action. (#7) It's like their in a main event match at Wrestlemania and somehow we all missed the build up all the last four weeks. Crazy.
Christian and Pete Rose were talking in the back. Their happy that he finally got revenge on Kane. Leads to Kane with a betting pun and "beating up" Rose behind closed doors and Christian listens. Isn't it illegal to not report rape or assault. Oh well it's WWE, the only rules that matter are the Wellness Policy and don't wake Vince after 10:30.
"Ms. Necrophiliac" Michelle McCool (Womens Champion)/Maryse (Divas Champion)/Layla beat Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres-Day in a diva 3-on-3 tag team match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Kelly Kelly whose only eye candy, and Mickie James-Canton are at ringside behind the face divas while Vickie and Alicia were behind the heel divas. And the match took about as long as it took for me to write the last sentence. McCool did do a nice counter into a Styles Clash (Thanks for posting AJ Styles)...err um Faith Breaker for the pinfall. Still no diva match at Wrestlemania, so no boob break this year. I'm not gonna be happy not seeing eye candy for 4 hours.
Another Cena/Batista video package is shown. (#8) It's if they've been feuding for years, it's been three weeks. Maybe four weeks, whatever.
Batista and Cena's Final Face-Off
Batista and his Goldberg-style security come out to the ring and he cuts a nice heel promo, as he's been doing, axing us fans cause he knows he the bad guy. Cena came out all calm and I never got the feeling that he was going to start yelling (I was amazed). Typical Cena promo, but he got Batista hot by calling him a coward. They've been using "coward" in storylines a lot lately. Weird. The brawl ensued and Batista bailed early, he kicked the steps and broke his toe in the process. The crowd is going nuts (I wouldn't complain, this build up is quite good). And we Video-Packagefest 2010 Part 1 with utter chaos.
Raw: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
There was 8 in-show video packages, and five of them were for Cena/Batista. It was insane. Instead of wrestling leading into Wrestlemania we're recapping feuds. I guess it works, kind-of. The crowd was in for a long night too cause they taped all four shows there that night. Anywho Miz/Morrion and HBK/Kane were alright and the packages weren't bad, just too many of them. I'm still excited for Wrestlemania, despite this show, I know you are too. I hope.
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
We start out with Mr. Wrestlemania, naturally, the last Raw before Wrestlemania 26. I'm excited, this card is stacked. Shawn tell us that he feels like he can do anything and he's going to beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. HBK then tells us not to be confused by the fact that his My Journey DVD just came out. Why? Cause he's making a Vol.2 of it starting Sunday. Just as he's about to gimmick infringe on 'Taker, the lights go out and video package (#1) of HBK's career plays on the screen. At the end of the package it said "Shawn Michaels Career 1985-2010," and apparently Undertaker minored at ITT Tech to make that for the production crew. Who knew? Cue Pete Rose to come out in his pink shirt, and boy is he nervous as all hell. Glad he wasn't on my TV much, he was quite uncomfortable. Good ol' Petey has set up Shawn in a match with Kane. He wants revenge for all the beatings he's gotten from his over the years. Nice HBK's potential last Raw match is against Kane. No 15 minute awesome-fest with CM Punk or Y2J? I'd like that. But obviously what do I know? Shawn did good and Pete was holding in from pissing himself outta fear.
We see the video package of back in 2008 when Cena/Batista met at Summerslam for the first time in a match and Cena broke his neck. (#2)
John Morrison beat The Miz (/United States Champion/Unified Tag Team Champion) via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/10
Big Show and Mr. Narcissistic himself R-Truth were on commentary. Let's just say Big Show is gold on the mic and R-Truth comes off as even more of a moron. Why make him try to talk, let him "rap" and do his stupid "Whats Up?" every five seconds. Oh there's actually a good match going on between Miz/Morrison. Miz miscalculated something and set-up JoMo to his Starship Pain for the win. Nice match, I want more of them one-on-one (no homo). Maybe for a world title? Oop, there goes me thinking again.
Confrontation between the rivals, and even though their both faces, Triple H is Super-Face, while Orton is only a regular one. They still hate each other, common enemies or not.
Another Cena/Batista video package (#3), and I don't even remember what it's about. Something with Batista cutting a great heel promo. Keep him heel please, he good at that and I actually like when he's heel.
"Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston beat Vladimir Kozlof in a Money in the Bank qualifier singles match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
The guy from Africa, with the Boston accent and the Jamaican theme music get's mauled the whole match. I don't know if Cole used "Controlled Frenzy" in this match but I'm coining the term "Soviet Hammer" for Kozolf. Hope it takes off. Oh yeah Swagger was on commentary, I didn't like him in that role. I'd rather have Raw misuse his talent in the ring rather than have him suck and spit (<- Lisp joke) on the mic. Anywho we all knew Kofi was winning and he hits Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall. And the insane spots continue to grow for this year's MitB match.
We have an official announcement that Stu Harts getting into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. (#4) Nice, awesome dude, great trainer and great personality. Congrats Hart family.
Sheamus/Cody "Mr. Lisp #1" Rhodes/Ted DiBiase beat Randy Orton/Triple H in a 3-on-2 Handicap match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Teddy, and Cody cut a promo saying that it didn't matter who was going to beat Orton on Sunday as long as he lost cause their the new up and comers, and blah blah blah. Onto the match, it was too short. This could've been a nice ten minute match with some good action between the old/new superstars. But it was half that and seemed much to rushed, as most Raw matches since mid-2009. End match Orton was going for the DDT of the ropes on one of Legacy and Sheamus hit the Blarney Boot OUTTA NOWHERE for the 1-2-3.
Oh look another Cena/Batista video package. Nice. You'd think people don't watch Raw each week for some reason.(#5)
Right before Bret comes out we see a video package of of last week with Stone Cold and Bret revealed he was hurt, and blasted Vince with his cast. (#6) Bret comes out to a random "What?" chant by the crowd. Haha, I love how everybody got pissed at the crowd for that. Quit crying, your watching Raw, and expect bad. I like "What?" chants, as an FYI, no matter when their done. Bret says he glad his dad is going to be inducted to the Hall of Fame and that the whole Hart family will be at the ceremony. It'll be nice to see Owen again. I got blasted for <- that, and to them I say, hahaha. Bret said he's honored to be wrestling at a Wrestlemania again, like he did with Austin, HBK, Piper, Yokozuna, and Owen. And since we have to see Vince live on RAW, he came out at the end and simply said "Bret, one way or another, your screwed." (No homo #2) I liked the segment, Hart was great as usual, and Imma mark out for a Hart sharpshooter this Sunday.
Shawn Michales beat Kane in a single match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I swear if this is HBKs last TV it's a shame. He cold gone 10-15 with younger star and wow'd us before 'Maina. Instead we get him doing Pete Roses dirty work. As Shawn is going for the first Sweet Chin Music the lights go out, and they come back on and Undertaker choke-slams HBK as a revenge shot for Friday on the A-Show Smackdown. The lights go out again and Kane takes advantage, but we have a vintage HBK kicks-out of a finisher. Kane gets him up and looks like he's going for a running power-slam, but HBK slips out the back and hit the super-kick for the win. Nice, HBK's looks ready for Wrestlemania and so am I.
Here's some more Cena/Batista video package action. (#7) It's like their in a main event match at Wrestlemania and somehow we all missed the build up all the last four weeks. Crazy.
Christian and Pete Rose were talking in the back. Their happy that he finally got revenge on Kane. Leads to Kane with a betting pun and "beating up" Rose behind closed doors and Christian listens. Isn't it illegal to not report rape or assault. Oh well it's WWE, the only rules that matter are the Wellness Policy and don't wake Vince after 10:30.
"Ms. Necrophiliac" Michelle McCool (Womens Champion)/Maryse (Divas Champion)/Layla beat Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres-Day in a diva 3-on-3 tag team match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Kelly Kelly whose only eye candy, and Mickie James-Canton are at ringside behind the face divas while Vickie and Alicia were behind the heel divas. And the match took about as long as it took for me to write the last sentence. McCool did do a nice counter into a Styles Clash (Thanks for posting AJ Styles)...err um Faith Breaker for the pinfall. Still no diva match at Wrestlemania, so no boob break this year. I'm not gonna be happy not seeing eye candy for 4 hours.
Another Cena/Batista video package is shown. (#8) It's if they've been feuding for years, it's been three weeks. Maybe four weeks, whatever.
Batista and Cena's Final Face-Off
Batista and his Goldberg-style security come out to the ring and he cuts a nice heel promo, as he's been doing, axing us fans cause he knows he the bad guy. Cena came out all calm and I never got the feeling that he was going to start yelling (I was amazed). Typical Cena promo, but he got Batista hot by calling him a coward. They've been using "coward" in storylines a lot lately. Weird. The brawl ensued and Batista bailed early, he kicked the steps and broke his toe in the process. The crowd is going nuts (I wouldn't complain, this build up is quite good). And we Video-Packagefest 2010 Part 1 with utter chaos.
Raw: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
There was 8 in-show video packages, and five of them were for Cena/Batista. It was insane. Instead of wrestling leading into Wrestlemania we're recapping feuds. I guess it works, kind-of. The crowd was in for a long night too cause they taped all four shows there that night. Anywho Miz/Morrion and HBK/Kane were alright and the packages weren't bad, just too many of them. I'm still excited for Wrestlemania, despite this show, I know you are too. I hope.
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Smackdown Lowdown 3/19/10
This will be abbreviated as I'm only going through the matches and CM Punk/Rey promo The Cutting Edge. Here we go, here's the Smackdown Lowdown, taped from LA.
Rey, not armed with a giant this week, came out to tell us that he's heart broken and blah blah blah. Straight Edge Society interrupts him (yeah!) and CM Punk had brought pictures of the verbal carnage last week. Punks going for the photography badge in the SES Club. He goats Rey into a re-match against Gallows. If Rey wins it'll be a street fight between Punk and Rey and Wrestlemania. If Rey loses though, he has a match with Punk at Wrestlemania and if he loses CM Punk get's to punch a another hole in his SES Membership Card towards a free member.
Dolph Ziggler/Jack "Lispy #2" Swagger beat MVP "The Kool-Aid Packet"/"Jobberwalkie #1" Matt Hardy in a tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look maybe the RAW wrestlers will get more than a three minute squash! Well they got more than three minutes, unfortunately we missed it all due to a commercial break. Hardy took out Swagger and as MVP watched it he too a Zig-Zag from behind (no homo) for the pinfall.
Beth Phoenix/"Take Your Top Off" Tiffany beat Michelle McCool "Mrs. Necrofelia" (Womens Champion)/Layla El "Can't Win A Match" in a Divas tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Yeah the mardi gras stick is still going. I'll see her "WWE topless" soon, I must. Sorry Eve Torres-Day, your my #1 diva still. Anywho, still glad to see short skirt back in the WWE, and Tiffany is looking good to boot. Beth comes in an does a vintage airplane spin that had me all nostalgic. Then Tiffany takes the beating from Michelle. Beth the Beast back in for the GlamSlam for the win. ((Thanks for posting Taz) Thanks for posting John Canton)
Cutting Edge with Special Guests Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) and Wade Barrett
If you saw The Highlight Reel last week you saw this. But add in Wade and subtract the flat screen. Edge has a witty joke (I missed those), Y2J called us hypocrites and troglodytes. Edge gets the crowd going with a "Spear" chant. Y2J goes for a cheap shot, Edge takes him out and sets up for the chanted word. He hits Barrett and then turns around and takes a Codebreaker from Y2J for his troubles. The nice touch to this was Jericho milking the moment and then stomping on the formerly injured ankle of Edge. Nice. Who needs chair shots when you have title belts and old injuries?
The Good and The Bad [John Morrison/R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth] beat The Hart Dynasty in a tag team match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
So Brets back, and The Hart Dynasty got a huge push. Wait. wait. I'm being informed that didn't happen and their Undertaker rage fodder and tag team squash specialists now. It's a shame, I'd much rather have The Hart Dynasty/ShowMiz for the titles a 'Mania. Maybe they'll get a feud after Wrestlemania. Oh yeah there was a match. Truth hit the Lie Detector on Kidd for the 1-2-3 about two minutes in. R-Truth is a two time world champ you know right?
Luke Gallows w/CM Punk/Serena beat Rey Mysterio in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Match of the night easily, and I really like these two in the ring together. Rey is good, but you can tell he's getting old, and Gallows is very quick and agile for a big man. Good job you two on another good showing. Rey hits the 619 on Gallows. Punk jumps in the ring as Rey is going to hit the springboard splash. And Serena pushes Rey off the ropes and Festus...err Gallows covers Rey for the pin. Now if Rey loses to CM Punk at Wrestlemania he'll have to join the Straight Edge Society. Nice much better than the rumored Hair v Mask match. Good feud, and it's only been going 4 weeks, whaaaa?
Undertaker beat Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Not ever Drew's awesome entrance could help him keep his undefeated streak alive. I mean 'Takers entrance went the whole commercial break, he's in the lead for the "Longest Entrance" trophy. Yeah I have trophies, what are ya gonna do about it? Undertaker destroyed him in like two minutes with the Tombstone. I guess to prove he's angry and ready for Wrestlemania. BUT WAIT! Undertaker doesn't get ot raise his hand to close out the show! (Blasphemy!) Shawn Michaels worked a Tuesday and super-kicked Undertakers head off and mocked him to close out Smackdown. Nice, one of the few parts of SD I liked this week.
Smackdown: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
It hasn't been too good the past couple of weeks. Taker/HBK and Rey/Punk/Gallows have really been the only highlights. I really hope the A-Show doesn't fall into a rut and turn into Raw #2. I like watching Smackdown bring back wrestling! Please.
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Rey, not armed with a giant this week, came out to tell us that he's heart broken and blah blah blah. Straight Edge Society interrupts him (yeah!) and CM Punk had brought pictures of the verbal carnage last week. Punks going for the photography badge in the SES Club. He goats Rey into a re-match against Gallows. If Rey wins it'll be a street fight between Punk and Rey and Wrestlemania. If Rey loses though, he has a match with Punk at Wrestlemania and if he loses CM Punk get's to punch a another hole in his SES Membership Card towards a free member.
Dolph Ziggler/Jack "Lispy #2" Swagger beat MVP "The Kool-Aid Packet"/"Jobberwalkie #1" Matt Hardy in a tag team match via pinfall: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look maybe the RAW wrestlers will get more than a three minute squash! Well they got more than three minutes, unfortunately we missed it all due to a commercial break. Hardy took out Swagger and as MVP watched it he too a Zig-Zag from behind (no homo) for the pinfall.
Beth Phoenix/"Take Your Top Off" Tiffany beat Michelle McCool "Mrs. Necrofelia" (Womens Champion)/Layla El "Can't Win A Match" in a Divas tag team match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Yeah the mardi gras stick is still going. I'll see her "WWE topless" soon, I must. Sorry Eve Torres-Day, your my #1 diva still. Anywho, still glad to see short skirt back in the WWE, and Tiffany is looking good to boot. Beth comes in an does a vintage airplane spin that had me all nostalgic. Then Tiffany takes the beating from Michelle. Beth the Beast back in for the GlamSlam for the win. ((Thanks for posting Taz) Thanks for posting John Canton)
Cutting Edge with Special Guests Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) and Wade Barrett
If you saw The Highlight Reel last week you saw this. But add in Wade and subtract the flat screen. Edge has a witty joke (I missed those), Y2J called us hypocrites and troglodytes. Edge gets the crowd going with a "Spear" chant. Y2J goes for a cheap shot, Edge takes him out and sets up for the chanted word. He hits Barrett and then turns around and takes a Codebreaker from Y2J for his troubles. The nice touch to this was Jericho milking the moment and then stomping on the formerly injured ankle of Edge. Nice. Who needs chair shots when you have title belts and old injuries?
The Good and The Bad [John Morrison/R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth] beat The Hart Dynasty in a tag team match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
So Brets back, and The Hart Dynasty got a huge push. Wait. wait. I'm being informed that didn't happen and their Undertaker rage fodder and tag team squash specialists now. It's a shame, I'd much rather have The Hart Dynasty/ShowMiz for the titles a 'Mania. Maybe they'll get a feud after Wrestlemania. Oh yeah there was a match. Truth hit the Lie Detector on Kidd for the 1-2-3 about two minutes in. R-Truth is a two time world champ you know right?
Luke Gallows w/CM Punk/Serena beat Rey Mysterio in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Match of the night easily, and I really like these two in the ring together. Rey is good, but you can tell he's getting old, and Gallows is very quick and agile for a big man. Good job you two on another good showing. Rey hits the 619 on Gallows. Punk jumps in the ring as Rey is going to hit the springboard splash. And Serena pushes Rey off the ropes and Festus...err Gallows covers Rey for the pin. Now if Rey loses to CM Punk at Wrestlemania he'll have to join the Straight Edge Society. Nice much better than the rumored Hair v Mask match. Good feud, and it's only been going 4 weeks, whaaaa?
Undertaker beat Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Not ever Drew's awesome entrance could help him keep his undefeated streak alive. I mean 'Takers entrance went the whole commercial break, he's in the lead for the "Longest Entrance" trophy. Yeah I have trophies, what are ya gonna do about it? Undertaker destroyed him in like two minutes with the Tombstone. I guess to prove he's angry and ready for Wrestlemania. BUT WAIT! Undertaker doesn't get ot raise his hand to close out the show! (Blasphemy!) Shawn Michaels worked a Tuesday and super-kicked Undertakers head off and mocked him to close out Smackdown. Nice, one of the few parts of SD I liked this week.
Smackdown: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
It hasn't been too good the past couple of weeks. Taker/HBK and Rey/Punk/Gallows have really been the only highlights. I really hope the A-Show doesn't fall into a rut and turn into Raw #2. I like watching Smackdown bring back wrestling! Please.
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The NXT Notes 3/16/10
Spring Break is in full kick and WWE has their reality show rolling right along. Please remind CM Punk that St. Patties Day is tomorrow, so that he can cut an awesome promo about it for Smackdown on Friday. Speaking of CM Punk, here he comes with Darren Young and the Straight Edge Society. So live (I thought they've been taped this whole time haha) from Los Angeles, here's the NXT notes!
CM Punk/Darren "Unh Se, Unh Se, Unh Se" Young beat Matt "Jobberwalkie #1" Hardy/"Mr. Flaymboyant" Justin Gabriel in a tag team match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
We have Gabriel eating the steel step courtesy of Young as we cut to commercial. Good job with the commercial break placement. Yeah it like that in a show, wanna fight about it? I also like the gradual way Punk is rubbing off on Young. It actually makes it seem like a progression with CM Punk and his rookie. I like Young getting the pinfall off Hardy, cause now he's pinned a pro too. Then gets plastered by the Gallows Poll. Haha great, its the statement that it's Punks way or the highway and if you question it, you'll be punished. Also it was a nice 15 minute tag match we don't see all that often on WWE TV anymore. Kudos to that match.
The Great Khali aka "Jobberwalkie #2" vs Daniel Bryan in a single match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
The Miz is so nice to set up this match for Bryan, it's a nice warm-up match. Good luck Bryan, try offering him a chicken as a peace offering. And he had a decent squash match with Khali. The sleeper, and the kicks into the missile drop kick only to have the power royally screw Daniels chances of winning more than Cole does on commentary is how all: Mark Henry, Great Khali, and Big Show matches need to go. Oh, and then the Big Show, who actually looks like he's having fun on TV again, comes out and destroys Bryan some more with a choke-slam. Nice, he's 0-4, but he's still the best rookie on NXT.
We have a Vince Screwed Vince Raw Rebound as we find out that McMahon/Hart will be No Holds Barred match AND that Bret is 100%! Here's a link to Layin' Down the Raw, cause much more than that happened last night with Stone Cold hosting. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/03/layin-down-raw-31510.html
We see the nice, cocky, "Google Me" promo that they ran for Otunga at the start of NXT. I like it, and if he get's better in the ring, and you combine that with his great heel promo cutting skills he could be a nice addition to the WWE main roster.
Heath Slater beat Michael Tarver in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Well the One Man Rock Band vs Mr. 1.9 Seconds is on tap, and no pros with them so they're testing the waters with the crowd I assume. It's kind-of in it, especially after that corkscrew plancha Slater did. Slater goes 3-0, like it really matters, and after the match Tarver hits a nice revenge Tarver T-Bone. Yeah that's what I'm calling it, get your own name for it.
I like the Skip/Regal interactions, but I don't like him in-ring at all. He's just another big guy, cause Vince likes 'em, and can put on a meh match. I miss Christan taunting Regal by calling him "Bill" bring that back on RAW or NXT sometime. Please.
Wade "The Florist" Barrett w/Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) beat Skip "To My Lou" Sheffield w/William Regal in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We get Jericho commentating in the absence of Cole and Matthews doing it. and telling them to do their job. I think they should stick him with Cole every week, if not to just have him vocally kill him for an hour. Haha. Barrett works on Skips back the whole match and ends it with his fireman's carry into the dump over the front. Solid match, noting great just good.
NXT: 6/10 or 6/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I think this has been my favorite next so far, mostly due to the very very good tag match to start out the show. We don't see many TV tag matches like this, it was a nice surprise. The rest of the matches were meh to good, and the promos and backstage stuff was solid. NXT continues to impress (me at least) as it wears on. Same rating, cause it's been solid the whole time. Also in two weeks we have our first elimination. My pick, Michael Tarver. Sorry, you can equate your nickname, to your amount of time in NXT.
That's it for the NXT Notes. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
CM Punk/Darren "Unh Se, Unh Se, Unh Se" Young beat Matt "Jobberwalkie #1" Hardy/"Mr. Flaymboyant" Justin Gabriel in a tag team match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
We have Gabriel eating the steel step courtesy of Young as we cut to commercial. Good job with the commercial break placement. Yeah it like that in a show, wanna fight about it? I also like the gradual way Punk is rubbing off on Young. It actually makes it seem like a progression with CM Punk and his rookie. I like Young getting the pinfall off Hardy, cause now he's pinned a pro too. Then gets plastered by the Gallows Poll. Haha great, its the statement that it's Punks way or the highway and if you question it, you'll be punished. Also it was a nice 15 minute tag match we don't see all that often on WWE TV anymore. Kudos to that match.
The Great Khali aka "Jobberwalkie #2" vs Daniel Bryan in a single match via pinfall: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
The Miz is so nice to set up this match for Bryan, it's a nice warm-up match. Good luck Bryan, try offering him a chicken as a peace offering. And he had a decent squash match with Khali. The sleeper, and the kicks into the missile drop kick only to have the power royally screw Daniels chances of winning more than Cole does on commentary is how all: Mark Henry, Great Khali, and Big Show matches need to go. Oh, and then the Big Show, who actually looks like he's having fun on TV again, comes out and destroys Bryan some more with a choke-slam. Nice, he's 0-4, but he's still the best rookie on NXT.
We have a Vince Screwed Vince Raw Rebound as we find out that McMahon/Hart will be No Holds Barred match AND that Bret is 100%! Here's a link to Layin' Down the Raw, cause much more than that happened last night with Stone Cold hosting. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/03/layin-down-raw-31510.html
We see the nice, cocky, "Google Me" promo that they ran for Otunga at the start of NXT. I like it, and if he get's better in the ring, and you combine that with his great heel promo cutting skills he could be a nice addition to the WWE main roster.
Heath Slater beat Michael Tarver in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Well the One Man Rock Band vs Mr. 1.9 Seconds is on tap, and no pros with them so they're testing the waters with the crowd I assume. It's kind-of in it, especially after that corkscrew plancha Slater did. Slater goes 3-0, like it really matters, and after the match Tarver hits a nice revenge Tarver T-Bone. Yeah that's what I'm calling it, get your own name for it.
I like the Skip/Regal interactions, but I don't like him in-ring at all. He's just another big guy, cause Vince likes 'em, and can put on a meh match. I miss Christan taunting Regal by calling him "Bill" bring that back on RAW or NXT sometime. Please.
Wade "The Florist" Barrett w/Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) beat Skip "To My Lou" Sheffield w/William Regal in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
We get Jericho commentating in the absence of Cole and Matthews doing it. and telling them to do their job. I think they should stick him with Cole every week, if not to just have him vocally kill him for an hour. Haha. Barrett works on Skips back the whole match and ends it with his fireman's carry into the dump over the front. Solid match, noting great just good.
NXT: 6/10 or 6/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I think this has been my favorite next so far, mostly due to the very very good tag match to start out the show. We don't see many TV tag matches like this, it was a nice surprise. The rest of the matches were meh to good, and the promos and backstage stuff was solid. NXT continues to impress (me at least) as it wears on. Same rating, cause it's been solid the whole time. Also in two weeks we have our first elimination. My pick, Michael Tarver. Sorry, you can equate your nickname, to your amount of time in NXT.
That's it for the NXT Notes. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Layin' Down the Raw 3/15/10
On the heels of RAW crushing TNA last Monday, the road to Wrestlemaina (take a shot readers) rolls on as we have the biggest Raw since guest hosts started. Stone Cold Steve Austin hosts a massive Wrestlemania Rewind night where they need to give Shawn Michaels vs World Heavyweight Champ Chris Jericho at least a 10 minute match. Anywho from San Diego let's lay down the Raw!
We start with Mark Harmon talking to the Ducky..oh wait that's my dvr switching over to USA early. We roll the recap of last week where Cena get's heel-slapped by McMahon and Batista. I like the feud. Let the poster boy lose for once.
Vintage at @8:03CST to start the show, epic! And out comes the Rattlesnake, and how long will it be till a DVD plug, we'll find out soon. A massive pop and a "Austin" chant starts us out hot. We have "What" chant already and Stone Cold wants to whoop some ass! He calls for beer and asks for a "hell yeah" not ten minutes into Raw. Austin tells us that Wrestlemania is the end all be all for WWE superstars. He tells us how at Wrestlemaina 13 against Bret Hart he had that defining match. Next he goes on how Vince has screwed everyone he's ever worked with. So he here to do do something, haha their already censoring him. Cue Cena's music, I wanted a Stunner, did I get one? No. Cue Big Show's music, I wanted a Stunner, did I get one? No. Screw you WWE, I want a Stunner tonight and you'd better oblige me.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) beat John Cena in a Wrestlemania Rewind singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Use Big Show like they did on Smackdown Friday and I'll be happy. Batista comes out at Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He usually goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but takes a missive Choke-Slam, but kicks out at 2 cause he's Superman. Big Show sets up for a KNOCK THE F*** OUT punch, but Cena ducks it and picks him up, wanting to hit the Attitude Adjustment. Batista jumps on the apron, distracting Cena allowing Big Show to KNOCK THE F*** OUT Cena for the pinfall.
Stone Cold is in his office and HBK walks in. He asks him he thinks that he beat Undertaker. Austin tell him flat-out no. He said he'll prove him wrong. The best in the world at what he does comes in and tells HBK that he wants to embarrass him one more time. He then asks Stone Cold if they wanna blow off the match and go drink some Stevewiesers like they did in Frisco. Stone Cold wasn't amused, but I was. Good segment, I chuckled.
Sheamus "The Pale White Yonder" vs Evan Bourne in a singles match: Not Rated
Oh looks one of the Money in the Bank participants. You'd never know cause it cause Bourne got trashed with a Blarney Boot and his unnamed finisher. The ghost then tells us that he idolized HHH's ruggedness and the fact he'd do anything to stay on top. But at Wrestlemania he'll beat down the King of Kings decisively, because this warrior bows to no one.
Maryse beat Kelly Kelly in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
King's favorite color is blue, hardy har har. Kelly played to the crowd and Maryse didn't like it. So she no sold her finisher and gave her the French Kiss for the win. She then rags on Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim and Eve Torres-Day come out to the rescue. After they subdue the violent champion, out comes Team Lay-Cool to kill the face Divas a obviously set up our Wrestlemaina divas match. Vickie comes out and I wish someone would've thrown food onto the ramp so she could bum-rush it.
Shawn Michaels beat Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) in a Wrestlemaina Rewind singles match via count out: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Vintage HBK at 9:00CST! Nothing much to say, it was a nice 8ish minute TV match. Nothing amazing, just a good match. Y2J got sick of the match and walked out. Cue Edge and he fights Y2J through the crowd and threw him back in the ring. And then set up, and delivered, you guessed it a spear! After, he grabs a mic and taunts Chris by only saying the word on his mind the last month, "Spear." At least the Smackdown writers have done an effective word feud with one word. Kudos to them for lazy and/or brilliant writing.
We find out that all the third generation wrestlers on Raw will have a triple threat match at Wrestlemania to crown "Mr. Third Generation." Yeah, it's not an official award. But it is the first Fat Jesus Trophy pf Excellence award I'm quite proud to hand it out to the winner of Orton/DiBiase/Rhodes.
Triple H beat Randy Orton in a Wrestlemania Rewind singles match via DQ: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Every week the voices tell Orton to walk slow to the ring and then stare blankly at the crowd, he he obeys them. Viper @9:22CST! My God Cole, "We'll see if Triple H can get back in the game." HAHAHAHAHA no. It might've been funny 13 years ago, but not so much anymore. At least we got someone out on the floor, go to commercial. Good job Raw. God dammit to hell Cole, it's a powerslam not a scoopslam, someone tell him the freaking difference. Viper #2 @9:30CST! Blarney Boot #2 @9:32CST! as Sheamus heps out Legacy with their Triple H/Randy Orton beatdown. I like what Cole said about the possible Changing of the Guard at Wrestlemania. Good announcing for once Cole. As usual King just babbled on the whole match.
The Toast if the Coast, "Gorgeous" George Wagoner is the fifth inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. Legend has it, King? We're not talking about Bigfoot or the Lockness Monster.
Batista beat "Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Oh my, Cole already said Controlled Frenzy @9:44CST, Kofi wasn't even in the ring yet. Haha. BLOOD! And Batista destroyed Kingston in about a minute after the blood sport began. Spine buster, and Batista Bomb for the 1-2-3. Stupid ref, get the f*** outta the way so Batista can hit the clothesline. And lol at Batista taunting that Cena shirt wearer on the way up the ramp, I like the little touches like that.
Oh look Pete Rose is hosting the last Raw before Wrestlemania. Joy, it doesn't matter the week before Wrestlemaina, even with a meh host, TNA will still get crushed. Shocker, Orton/Triple H vs Legacy/Sheamus next week way to wow us Raw.
Out comes Bret Hart. Cast, crutch and all. I really hope they pull the cast off and Bret's been fine the whole time. Cue Mr. No Chance in Hell. He comes out mocking Bret's leg and still doing the strut, he's a multitask-er. The glass breaks and out comes the Rattlesnake, our guest host. Vince tries to stand but clearly, through the censorship he get's told to sit his a** down. Then Stone Cold officially announces the sixth inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame is none other than the great Stu Hart. McMahon says it fine, cause he forgets stuff and he'll regret this later. He also says that he's glad the whole dysfunctional Hart family. -My satellite went out- I come back, and Vince/Bret at Wrestlemania is already official. And Stone Cold is leaving, and he says he forgot one thing, but he'd let Bret tell him. I assume Stone Cold forgot too, he's getting old as well. No to mention beer guzzling all those years have killed a lot of brains cells. We cut back to the ring, and Bret reveals that he's not hurt, and that if Vince tries to back out, he'll sue Vince for all he worth. Then a "Vince screwed Vince" chant erupts as Hart blasts McMahon with the cats two times (no homo). And we end the show with my satellite going out again. F*** you Dish network.
Raw: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 3/5 Stars
I liked it this week. There was a lot of matches, two of them being an ok watch and some stinks, but wrestling none the less. Stone Cold did a good job hosting and the storyline movement and segments were good. Not to mention seeing Stone Cold was good. No Stunner, though, screw you WWE. Bottom line (see what I did thar) is that Raw was a nice watch this week, and it's stepping up to Smackdown levels. Also count how many times I used "Wrestlemania," you'll get a cookie if you guess right.
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
We start with Mark Harmon talking to the Ducky..oh wait that's my dvr switching over to USA early. We roll the recap of last week where Cena get's heel-slapped by McMahon and Batista. I like the feud. Let the poster boy lose for once.
Vintage at @8:03CST to start the show, epic! And out comes the Rattlesnake, and how long will it be till a DVD plug, we'll find out soon. A massive pop and a "Austin" chant starts us out hot. We have "What" chant already and Stone Cold wants to whoop some ass! He calls for beer and asks for a "hell yeah" not ten minutes into Raw. Austin tells us that Wrestlemania is the end all be all for WWE superstars. He tells us how at Wrestlemaina 13 against Bret Hart he had that defining match. Next he goes on how Vince has screwed everyone he's ever worked with. So he here to do do something, haha their already censoring him. Cue Cena's music, I wanted a Stunner, did I get one? No. Cue Big Show's music, I wanted a Stunner, did I get one? No. Screw you WWE, I want a Stunner tonight and you'd better oblige me.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) beat John Cena in a Wrestlemania Rewind singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
Use Big Show like they did on Smackdown Friday and I'll be happy. Batista comes out at Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He usually goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but takes a missive Choke-Slam, but kicks out at 2 cause he's Superman. Big Show sets up for a KNOCK THE F*** OUT punch, but Cena ducks it and picks him up, wanting to hit the Attitude Adjustment. Batista jumps on the apron, distracting Cena allowing Big Show to KNOCK THE F*** OUT Cena for the pinfall.
Stone Cold is in his office and HBK walks in. He asks him he thinks that he beat Undertaker. Austin tell him flat-out no. He said he'll prove him wrong. The best in the world at what he does comes in and tells HBK that he wants to embarrass him one more time. He then asks Stone Cold if they wanna blow off the match and go drink some Stevewiesers like they did in Frisco. Stone Cold wasn't amused, but I was. Good segment, I chuckled.
Sheamus "The Pale White Yonder" vs Evan Bourne in a singles match: Not Rated
Oh looks one of the Money in the Bank participants. You'd never know cause it cause Bourne got trashed with a Blarney Boot and his unnamed finisher. The ghost then tells us that he idolized HHH's ruggedness and the fact he'd do anything to stay on top. But at Wrestlemania he'll beat down the King of Kings decisively, because this warrior bows to no one.
Maryse beat Kelly Kelly in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
King's favorite color is blue, hardy har har. Kelly played to the crowd and Maryse didn't like it. So she no sold her finisher and gave her the French Kiss for the win. She then rags on Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim and Eve Torres-Day come out to the rescue. After they subdue the violent champion, out comes Team Lay-Cool to kill the face Divas a obviously set up our Wrestlemaina divas match. Vickie comes out and I wish someone would've thrown food onto the ramp so she could bum-rush it.
Shawn Michaels beat Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) in a Wrestlemaina Rewind singles match via count out: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Vintage HBK at 9:00CST! Nothing much to say, it was a nice 8ish minute TV match. Nothing amazing, just a good match. Y2J got sick of the match and walked out. Cue Edge and he fights Y2J through the crowd and threw him back in the ring. And then set up, and delivered, you guessed it a spear! After, he grabs a mic and taunts Chris by only saying the word on his mind the last month, "Spear." At least the Smackdown writers have done an effective word feud with one word. Kudos to them for lazy and/or brilliant writing.
We find out that all the third generation wrestlers on Raw will have a triple threat match at Wrestlemania to crown "Mr. Third Generation." Yeah, it's not an official award. But it is the first Fat Jesus Trophy pf Excellence award I'm quite proud to hand it out to the winner of Orton/DiBiase/Rhodes.
Triple H beat Randy Orton in a Wrestlemania Rewind singles match via DQ: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Every week the voices tell Orton to walk slow to the ring and then stare blankly at the crowd, he he obeys them. Viper @9:22CST! My God Cole, "We'll see if Triple H can get back in the game." HAHAHAHAHA no. It might've been funny 13 years ago, but not so much anymore. At least we got someone out on the floor, go to commercial. Good job Raw. God dammit to hell Cole, it's a powerslam not a scoopslam, someone tell him the freaking difference. Viper #2 @9:30CST! Blarney Boot #2 @9:32CST! as Sheamus heps out Legacy with their Triple H/Randy Orton beatdown. I like what Cole said about the possible Changing of the Guard at Wrestlemania. Good announcing for once Cole. As usual King just babbled on the whole match.
The Toast if the Coast, "Gorgeous" George Wagoner is the fifth inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. Legend has it, King? We're not talking about Bigfoot or the Lockness Monster.
Batista beat "Identity Confused" Kofi Kingston in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
Oh my, Cole already said Controlled Frenzy @9:44CST, Kofi wasn't even in the ring yet. Haha. BLOOD! And Batista destroyed Kingston in about a minute after the blood sport began. Spine buster, and Batista Bomb for the 1-2-3. Stupid ref, get the f*** outta the way so Batista can hit the clothesline. And lol at Batista taunting that Cena shirt wearer on the way up the ramp, I like the little touches like that.
Oh look Pete Rose is hosting the last Raw before Wrestlemania. Joy, it doesn't matter the week before Wrestlemaina, even with a meh host, TNA will still get crushed. Shocker, Orton/Triple H vs Legacy/Sheamus next week way to wow us Raw.
Out comes Bret Hart. Cast, crutch and all. I really hope they pull the cast off and Bret's been fine the whole time. Cue Mr. No Chance in Hell. He comes out mocking Bret's leg and still doing the strut, he's a multitask-er. The glass breaks and out comes the Rattlesnake, our guest host. Vince tries to stand but clearly, through the censorship he get's told to sit his a** down. Then Stone Cold officially announces the sixth inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame is none other than the great Stu Hart. McMahon says it fine, cause he forgets stuff and he'll regret this later. He also says that he's glad the whole dysfunctional Hart family. -My satellite went out- I come back, and Vince/Bret at Wrestlemania is already official. And Stone Cold is leaving, and he says he forgot one thing, but he'd let Bret tell him. I assume Stone Cold forgot too, he's getting old as well. No to mention beer guzzling all those years have killed a lot of brains cells. We cut back to the ring, and Bret reveals that he's not hurt, and that if Vince tries to back out, he'll sue Vince for all he worth. Then a "Vince screwed Vince" chant erupts as Hart blasts McMahon with the cats two times (no homo). And we end the show with my satellite going out again. F*** you Dish network.
Raw: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 3/5 Stars
I liked it this week. There was a lot of matches, two of them being an ok watch and some stinks, but wrestling none the less. Stone Cold did a good job hosting and the storyline movement and segments were good. Not to mention seeing Stone Cold was good. No Stunner, though, screw you WWE. Bottom line (see what I did thar) is that Raw was a nice watch this week, and it's stepping up to Smackdown levels. Also count how many times I used "Wrestlemania," you'll get a cookie if you guess right.
That's it for Layin' Down the Raw. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Smackdown Lowdown 3/12/10
Just an fyi, I'm not going to be doing any play by play of the matches, just some thoughts, a rating and the winner.
The A-Show is at it again this week, with the return of the Jeritron 5000 on the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho! So here it is taped from Seattle Washington, here's comes the Smackdown Lowdown! (Thats what she said)
We start out with Rey and his family, and a giant! Oh wait that's just Dominick. As it turns out, it's family week in the WWE, so Rey brought them all out to make his daughter Aalyah's ninth birthday, so we're all singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Cue our Straight Edge savior CM Punk, the mistress of purity Serena, and the first of the flock Luke Gallows come out to sing to her too. Rey is not amused. CM Punk asks for a Wrestlemania match and also wanted a match right there. Rey didn't want to in front of his family. But, Punk reassured him. Telling Aalyah she could close her eyes, and Dominick he could plug his ears, and Angie that she could cover her mouth, at the beating Rey would get. Punk slaps Rey, but he takes the higher road and leaves with his family. As they go Punk finishes the Happy Birthday song, to the only time I've ever heard people boo'ing it.
R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth w/David "Google Me" Otunga beat The Miz (United States /Unified Tag Team Champion)W/Daniel Bryan in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
We have out obligatory out to the floor spot going into commercial. Yes SD! you have stepped it up from last week. Anywho end match Miz going for the win using the ropes, and Daniel pushes his feet off, pissing The Miz off. It allows Truth to hit the forearm with a corkscrew..oh wait it has a name The Lie Detector for the win. Should be a nice confrontation between The Miz/Bryan on NXY next Tuesday (oh comedy gold), and the build up for The Good and The Bad vs ShowMiz at 'Mania is alright.
The awesome Shawn Michaels/Undertaker promo set to Cash is shown. It keeps getting better and better. I'll be almost sad when they stop running it.
Cut to our still undefeated and Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre. He get's stopped by Teddy saying he's luck he's got McMahon on his side. Apparently on Superstars, which we all watch, it was announced that the Money in the Bank match this year will have ten entrants instead of eight. Couldn't have told us on RAW hunh WWE? Teddy says he can't scrap McMahon's orders, cause he still on probation (Holy hell look at that, more consistency. Makes RAW look bad...oh wait), but he can add-on to the match. Therefore it's a Winner Take All Match as well as a qualifier. Now we know Drew's winning.
Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) beat Seattle Jobber in a Money in the Bank qualifier/Intercontinental Championship match: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Drew came out to his awesome new video package/theme, confident as always. He awaits his opponent, who McMahon picked out so you know he's good. Then a local random buff Asian comes out. He gets careened by McIntyre who hits Future Shock about thirty seconds in. Once again an Asian gets destroyed on Smackdown. (Thanks for posting Jimmy Wang Yang) After the match Drew makes Striker tell us once again that he won and blah blah blah. Go win MitB already Mr. Chosen One.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) beat John Morrison in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I liked Big Show matches and this is why. You have John Morrison, the World Heavywe- wait a sec that hasn't happened yet for some odd reason. We have easily the best non-world champ on Smackdown, with my favorite big man in the WWE. You have the cocky Big Show talking trash to the smaller Morrison the whole match. Morrison has a nice comeback run, but gets KNOCKED THE F*** OUT going for a springboard chuck, for the pin. This is how you use Show, give him arrogance, let him dominate, give a guy a chance of hope and have him kill him to win the match.
Look TnT is back together, as 90% of the WWE Universe learns Tiffany wrestles. Maybe her top will finally come off. (My God he's still doing that mardi-gras joke?) Vicki doesn't like her, probably cause even the ugly divas are better looking than her. So she tell Tiffany to get her gear on she has a match with the Womens Champion tonight. I hoped her gear had cleavage, but McIntyre didn't allow it.
Cryme Tyme vs The Hart Dynasty in a tag team match ends with a no contest: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look, despite Bret's huge Wrestlemania match we have the best young tag team, The Hart Dynasty, coming out for a match and us not even seeing their entrance. Joy. They cut to black guys bumpin' to Cryme Tymes entrance, but show an Asian kid for R-Truth's. WWE is all about diversity, or is it money? I forget. Anywho, Kidd screws of JTG's knee on the ring post and slaps on a half-Boston crab. As it looks like JTG's gonna tap, we hear the infamous bong and the lights go out. The come back on and a rapist grabs a young boy from the crowd and runs away. Haha, just kidding The Undertaker is there and he's pissed for some reason, and he opens the Gates of Hell. Striker asked us what we thought of 'Taker when he's on our screens at home. I think hate crime, epically when he takes out two black guys, and a guy who could be white or Latino. What do I call Taker taking out Smith? Wall Street. I liked the anger, and I liked we saw all four of Takers finishers.
Tiffany "Ms. Take Your Top Off" beat Michelle McCool (Womens Champion) w/Layla and Vickie Guerrero
No cleavage, like I said before, but we have skirts back in the WWE Divas division. Now let Mickie James bring her's back. Tiffany looks pretty good, being this is the first time I've seen her in-ring her moves are solid and looks like she can work a good match. Anywho Tiff and McCool are brawling on the outside. Apparently Vickie saw a phantom Hostess cupcake on the ground and had to ruin an alright match to get it. Afterward, they wail of Tiffany in the ring in order for Beth to come out, clear the ring, and then clotheslined Vickie. This was epic. I smell the infamous "Excuse Me" screech in a handicap match next week.
Kane beat Luke Gallows (aka Festus aka Impostor Kane) w/CM Punk and Serena in a singles match via DQ: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
So Kane is fighting two years ago Impostor Kane. I was hoping a See No Evil DVD plug would happen. Striker referenced the feud though I forget what he said, I chuckled. After Kane hits the choke-slam, Punk comes in and takes out Kane. The beat down ensues and Punk hits a 6 foot GTS, nice. Rey's music hits, the crowd goes nuts, and the giants daddy wants revenge. Punk is ready for him in the ring, but ducks out as Rey gets there. They brawl on the outside, we need three refs to break up a brawl involving Rey. Nice. A Dean Malenko sighting too, nice to know he still exists. Good segment, still no Mask vs Hair stipulation. Let's keep it that way.
We don't have a main event match. Fine with me, let two of the best talkers talk. World Heavyweight Champion Christ..I mean Chris Jericho comes out. Then immediately the number one contender Edge's music hits. Edge says he has a move he uses, but he can't remember the name. The arena is chanting "spear" at this point. Good, at least all us inbred hicks know move names. (See what I did thar?) Y2J tells Edge his career has been one injury after another, he even missed two Wrestlemania's due to back injury. While he was wrestling and forging his stellar career during the time he missed. Edge says even though he was working, he was losing. Losing to Shawn Michaels and Christian. And that he'll spear Jericho at Wrestlemania. Which get's another rousing "Spear" chant going. Y2J says that even with all the confidence he thinks Edge came back from injury too soon and that at Wrestlemania, instead of Edge winning and everyone chanting his name, he'll re-injure Edge and put him out for another six months. He blats Edge with the mic (Vintage cheap shot), and tries to put him though the Jeritron 5000, but Edge get's out of it. He hits Jericho with the impaler DDT, the Edgectution to all us noble fans. He sets up for another spear in the corner, but as he goes for the move Jericho has the title in his hand and blasts Edge with it over the head. We close Smackdown with the best in the world at what he does standing over Edge, championship held high. All the non-partial fans rejoice!
Smackdown: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
I liked Smackdown. And when it's consistent like it has been since Elimination Chamber I like it. Sure it's the road to Wrestlemania, but they've been good like this after PPVs like Bragging Rights too. It wasn't wrestling heavy, but it didn't need to be cause while it had lack-luster matches, the promos did the show well and weren't all bad attempts at comedy like on Raw. All in all, meh matches, good promos, and good announcing made this a nice show to watch. Not just this week, but every week.
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
The A-Show is at it again this week, with the return of the Jeritron 5000 on the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho! So here it is taped from Seattle Washington, here's comes the Smackdown Lowdown! (Thats what she said)
We start out with Rey and his family, and a giant! Oh wait that's just Dominick. As it turns out, it's family week in the WWE, so Rey brought them all out to make his daughter Aalyah's ninth birthday, so we're all singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Cue our Straight Edge savior CM Punk, the mistress of purity Serena, and the first of the flock Luke Gallows come out to sing to her too. Rey is not amused. CM Punk asks for a Wrestlemania match and also wanted a match right there. Rey didn't want to in front of his family. But, Punk reassured him. Telling Aalyah she could close her eyes, and Dominick he could plug his ears, and Angie that she could cover her mouth, at the beating Rey would get. Punk slaps Rey, but he takes the higher road and leaves with his family. As they go Punk finishes the Happy Birthday song, to the only time I've ever heard people boo'ing it.
R "Mr. Narcissistic" Truth w/David "Google Me" Otunga beat The Miz (United States /Unified Tag Team Champion)W/Daniel Bryan in a singles match via pinfall: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
We have out obligatory out to the floor spot going into commercial. Yes SD! you have stepped it up from last week. Anywho end match Miz going for the win using the ropes, and Daniel pushes his feet off, pissing The Miz off. It allows Truth to hit the forearm with a corkscrew..oh wait it has a name The Lie Detector for the win. Should be a nice confrontation between The Miz/Bryan on NXY next Tuesday (oh comedy gold), and the build up for The Good and The Bad vs ShowMiz at 'Mania is alright.
The awesome Shawn Michaels/Undertaker promo set to Cash is shown. It keeps getting better and better. I'll be almost sad when they stop running it.
Cut to our still undefeated and Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre. He get's stopped by Teddy saying he's luck he's got McMahon on his side. Apparently on Superstars, which we all watch, it was announced that the Money in the Bank match this year will have ten entrants instead of eight. Couldn't have told us on RAW hunh WWE? Teddy says he can't scrap McMahon's orders, cause he still on probation (Holy hell look at that, more consistency. Makes RAW look bad...oh wait), but he can add-on to the match. Therefore it's a Winner Take All Match as well as a qualifier. Now we know Drew's winning.
Drew McIntyre (Intercontinental Champion) beat Seattle Jobber in a Money in the Bank qualifier/Intercontinental Championship match: 1/10 or 0.5/5 Stars
Drew came out to his awesome new video package/theme, confident as always. He awaits his opponent, who McMahon picked out so you know he's good. Then a local random buff Asian comes out. He gets careened by McIntyre who hits Future Shock about thirty seconds in. Once again an Asian gets destroyed on Smackdown. (Thanks for posting Jimmy Wang Yang) After the match Drew makes Striker tell us once again that he won and blah blah blah. Go win MitB already Mr. Chosen One.
Big Show (Unified Tag Team Champion) beat John Morrison in a singles match via pinfall: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
I liked Big Show matches and this is why. You have John Morrison, the World Heavywe- wait a sec that hasn't happened yet for some odd reason. We have easily the best non-world champ on Smackdown, with my favorite big man in the WWE. You have the cocky Big Show talking trash to the smaller Morrison the whole match. Morrison has a nice comeback run, but gets KNOCKED THE F*** OUT going for a springboard chuck, for the pin. This is how you use Show, give him arrogance, let him dominate, give a guy a chance of hope and have him kill him to win the match.
Look TnT is back together, as 90% of the WWE Universe learns Tiffany wrestles. Maybe her top will finally come off. (My God he's still doing that mardi-gras joke?) Vicki doesn't like her, probably cause even the ugly divas are better looking than her. So she tell Tiffany to get her gear on she has a match with the Womens Champion tonight. I hoped her gear had cleavage, but McIntyre didn't allow it.
Cryme Tyme vs The Hart Dynasty in a tag team match ends with a no contest: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Oh look, despite Bret's huge Wrestlemania match we have the best young tag team, The Hart Dynasty, coming out for a match and us not even seeing their entrance. Joy. They cut to black guys bumpin' to Cryme Tymes entrance, but show an Asian kid for R-Truth's. WWE is all about diversity, or is it money? I forget. Anywho, Kidd screws of JTG's knee on the ring post and slaps on a half-Boston crab. As it looks like JTG's gonna tap, we hear the infamous bong and the lights go out. The come back on and a rapist grabs a young boy from the crowd and runs away. Haha, just kidding The Undertaker is there and he's pissed for some reason, and he opens the Gates of Hell. Striker asked us what we thought of 'Taker when he's on our screens at home. I think hate crime, epically when he takes out two black guys, and a guy who could be white or Latino. What do I call Taker taking out Smith? Wall Street. I liked the anger, and I liked we saw all four of Takers finishers.
Tiffany "Ms. Take Your Top Off" beat Michelle McCool (Womens Champion) w/Layla and Vickie Guerrero
No cleavage, like I said before, but we have skirts back in the WWE Divas division. Now let Mickie James bring her's back. Tiffany looks pretty good, being this is the first time I've seen her in-ring her moves are solid and looks like she can work a good match. Anywho Tiff and McCool are brawling on the outside. Apparently Vickie saw a phantom Hostess cupcake on the ground and had to ruin an alright match to get it. Afterward, they wail of Tiffany in the ring in order for Beth to come out, clear the ring, and then clotheslined Vickie. This was epic. I smell the infamous "Excuse Me" screech in a handicap match next week.
Kane beat Luke Gallows (aka Festus aka Impostor Kane) w/CM Punk and Serena in a singles match via DQ: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
So Kane is fighting two years ago Impostor Kane. I was hoping a See No Evil DVD plug would happen. Striker referenced the feud though I forget what he said, I chuckled. After Kane hits the choke-slam, Punk comes in and takes out Kane. The beat down ensues and Punk hits a 6 foot GTS, nice. Rey's music hits, the crowd goes nuts, and the giants daddy wants revenge. Punk is ready for him in the ring, but ducks out as Rey gets there. They brawl on the outside, we need three refs to break up a brawl involving Rey. Nice. A Dean Malenko sighting too, nice to know he still exists. Good segment, still no Mask vs Hair stipulation. Let's keep it that way.
We don't have a main event match. Fine with me, let two of the best talkers talk. World Heavyweight Champion Christ..I mean Chris Jericho comes out. Then immediately the number one contender Edge's music hits. Edge says he has a move he uses, but he can't remember the name. The arena is chanting "spear" at this point. Good, at least all us inbred hicks know move names. (See what I did thar?) Y2J tells Edge his career has been one injury after another, he even missed two Wrestlemania's due to back injury. While he was wrestling and forging his stellar career during the time he missed. Edge says even though he was working, he was losing. Losing to Shawn Michaels and Christian. And that he'll spear Jericho at Wrestlemania. Which get's another rousing "Spear" chant going. Y2J says that even with all the confidence he thinks Edge came back from injury too soon and that at Wrestlemania, instead of Edge winning and everyone chanting his name, he'll re-injure Edge and put him out for another six months. He blats Edge with the mic (Vintage cheap shot), and tries to put him though the Jeritron 5000, but Edge get's out of it. He hits Jericho with the impaler DDT, the Edgectution to all us noble fans. He sets up for another spear in the corner, but as he goes for the move Jericho has the title in his hand and blasts Edge with it over the head. We close Smackdown with the best in the world at what he does standing over Edge, championship held high. All the non-partial fans rejoice!
Smackdown: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
I liked Smackdown. And when it's consistent like it has been since Elimination Chamber I like it. Sure it's the road to Wrestlemania, but they've been good like this after PPVs like Bragging Rights too. It wasn't wrestling heavy, but it didn't need to be cause while it had lack-luster matches, the promos did the show well and weren't all bad attempts at comedy like on Raw. All in all, meh matches, good promos, and good announcing made this a nice show to watch. Not just this week, but every week.
That's it for the Smackdown Lowdown. As always suggest to me stuff you'd like me to write on n' shizz.
Thanks for reading Fat Jesus Disciples!
The Wolfman [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]
I remember seeing previews for The Wolfman earlier this year, then I heard it had a lot of gore. I was like sweet, a classic re-made with a modern, brutal, twist. Boy was I in for a bad movie surprise. Not even fan boy Benicio Del Toro's acting could save this.
The basic premise goes like this. It's late night, we open the movie with a man, Ben Talbot, in the woods, hollering for someone to come out for no apparent reason. When out of nowhere something slashes him in the abdomen and in the face, he's running away from the thing as the scene ends. Enter theater actor Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) who is going home sweet home to investigate, per request of Ben's fiancee Gwen (Emily Blunt), Ben's disappearance. But when he get's home, he is informed by their father Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins) that his body has been found in a ditch, dead. And when Lawrence goes to view the body, it mangled and ripped to shreds. We cut to a gypsy camp where Lawrence is heading due to Ben being messenger to the town. The werewolf goes ape s*** on the village while Lawrence is there, killing a lot of people. Including a nice kill of a person by putting a claw up through his chin into his head. The presumed wolfman runs off into the woods and Lawrence chases the creature, but is bitten in the neck, as the rest of the gypsies chase it away. They care for his wounds and then help him get home to papa Talbot. After being questioned about the attack by Inspector Francis Aberline (Hugo Weaving), about the attack at the gypsy camp, and about a certain bottle of gypsy tears (No Borat get out of here!), and goes to a nearby lake to meet Gwen. They get all lovey-dovey with each other. But the local priests come in and try to take him, claiming the mark of the beast owns him. But good old papa Talbot comes in guns a blazing, and saves his son threatening trespassing charges. The next full moon, some of the villagers set a trap in hopes to catch the beast. Armed with silver bullets, crosses and other cliche werewolf killing items. The same night Lawrence sees his dad going into a crypt. Sir John locks himself inside his wife's tomb with Lawrence just outside the door. And low and behold he witnesses his son transform into Mr. Wolfman for the first time. Lawr-wolf then proceeds to howl for the first time and kill all those ever ready town folk who set the trap. This was about the point I turned it off, due to me being bored with the only good parts being the Wolfman killing scenes.
The bad far outweighs the good in this movie. First off, why change the story so much. I didn't even realize I was watching a remake throughout what I did. The only thing they kept were the names, and it's a shame that it's called a remake. The director is from Ft. Worth, Texas (Yeah!). Too bad after this bad flick I don't wanna see anything else new by him. Even though I will cause he's doing Captain America and Jurassic Park 4. Booger. The only thing I'm going to say about the bad script, is that it was a bad script And I don't know why anyone reading it, epically a hardcore Wolfman fan like Toro, would even wanna be apart of it. On that note his acting in the movie, felt inspired, part cause it looked like he truly wanted the bad script to be good and partly I'm guess for his love of the franchise. The rest of the acting was bad early 20th century (or late 19 century) dialogue and lives. Not to mention character development was too slow, and I didn't feel the want to know any of them. Finally we come to my favorite part of what I watched, the CGI and the kills. The transformation into the Wolfman was freaking great as bones crack out of place and were contorted, and human skin turned into wolf hide as a human became the werewolf. Not to mention some of kills weren't nice and clean. You saw blood, and you saw claws tear skin and flesh apart.
Rotten Tomatoes has this film at 32% fresh and Megacritic has it 43% good. I think it should be lower. I'm mean sure the CGI was good, but the acting was very bad, the story was untrue to the original and made it look bad. As if you could tell it had a model. The writing and directing were bad and didn't help this train wreck of a movie either. I don't recommend this movie at all. Even to hardcore classic-horror fans. In fact I think you'd be mad at the fact this did wrong by the name if the original. Bad directing and a bad script, ultimately ruin what could've been a good horror remake with ok acting, an alright story, and great violence.
Rating for The Wolfman: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
The basic premise goes like this. It's late night, we open the movie with a man, Ben Talbot, in the woods, hollering for someone to come out for no apparent reason. When out of nowhere something slashes him in the abdomen and in the face, he's running away from the thing as the scene ends. Enter theater actor Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) who is going home sweet home to investigate, per request of Ben's fiancee Gwen (Emily Blunt), Ben's disappearance. But when he get's home, he is informed by their father Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins) that his body has been found in a ditch, dead. And when Lawrence goes to view the body, it mangled and ripped to shreds. We cut to a gypsy camp where Lawrence is heading due to Ben being messenger to the town. The werewolf goes ape s*** on the village while Lawrence is there, killing a lot of people. Including a nice kill of a person by putting a claw up through his chin into his head. The presumed wolfman runs off into the woods and Lawrence chases the creature, but is bitten in the neck, as the rest of the gypsies chase it away. They care for his wounds and then help him get home to papa Talbot. After being questioned about the attack by Inspector Francis Aberline (Hugo Weaving), about the attack at the gypsy camp, and about a certain bottle of gypsy tears (No Borat get out of here!), and goes to a nearby lake to meet Gwen. They get all lovey-dovey with each other. But the local priests come in and try to take him, claiming the mark of the beast owns him. But good old papa Talbot comes in guns a blazing, and saves his son threatening trespassing charges. The next full moon, some of the villagers set a trap in hopes to catch the beast. Armed with silver bullets, crosses and other cliche werewolf killing items. The same night Lawrence sees his dad going into a crypt. Sir John locks himself inside his wife's tomb with Lawrence just outside the door. And low and behold he witnesses his son transform into Mr. Wolfman for the first time. Lawr-wolf then proceeds to howl for the first time and kill all those ever ready town folk who set the trap. This was about the point I turned it off, due to me being bored with the only good parts being the Wolfman killing scenes.
The bad far outweighs the good in this movie. First off, why change the story so much. I didn't even realize I was watching a remake throughout what I did. The only thing they kept were the names, and it's a shame that it's called a remake. The director is from Ft. Worth, Texas (Yeah!). Too bad after this bad flick I don't wanna see anything else new by him. Even though I will cause he's doing Captain America and Jurassic Park 4. Booger. The only thing I'm going to say about the bad script, is that it was a bad script And I don't know why anyone reading it, epically a hardcore Wolfman fan like Toro, would even wanna be apart of it. On that note his acting in the movie, felt inspired, part cause it looked like he truly wanted the bad script to be good and partly I'm guess for his love of the franchise. The rest of the acting was bad early 20th century (or late 19 century) dialogue and lives. Not to mention character development was too slow, and I didn't feel the want to know any of them. Finally we come to my favorite part of what I watched, the CGI and the kills. The transformation into the Wolfman was freaking great as bones crack out of place and were contorted, and human skin turned into wolf hide as a human became the werewolf. Not to mention some of kills weren't nice and clean. You saw blood, and you saw claws tear skin and flesh apart.
Rotten Tomatoes has this film at 32% fresh and Megacritic has it 43% good. I think it should be lower. I'm mean sure the CGI was good, but the acting was very bad, the story was untrue to the original and made it look bad. As if you could tell it had a model. The writing and directing were bad and didn't help this train wreck of a movie either. I don't recommend this movie at all. Even to hardcore classic-horror fans. In fact I think you'd be mad at the fact this did wrong by the name if the original. Bad directing and a bad script, ultimately ruin what could've been a good horror remake with ok acting, an alright story, and great violence.
Rating for The Wolfman: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Crazies [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]
So, the first "big" horror film for 2010. It's now the third 2010 movie I've seen. I wanted to see it in theaters last weekend, but decided I wanted to laugh more, and saw Cop Out instead. It's a Romero remake, and I was hoping it was good. It did not disappoint.
First off, if you couldn't figure out it out from previews, it a zombie flick. So we're not treading new ground. Ogden Marsh is a small town in the middle of Iowa. Like any small town sports are a big part of it. So it's a Friday (I assume) and everyone is at the high school baseball game. In the middle of an inning, a man with a shotgun walks on the field. The sheriff, David Dutton and his deputy, Russell Clank (played by Timothy Olyphant and Joe Anderson) get the kids off the field and confront the man. It turns out David thinks he's drunk, cause he used to be an alcoholic but had been dry for two years. He pleads with him to put down the shotgun. The man refuses and then points the gun at David, forcing him to shot him point blank on the baseball field. I'll give ya a hint, he wasn't drunk. The next night, a farmer locks his son and wife in a hall closet, and proceeds to douse the house with gasoline and torch it. When the David and his wife Judy (played by Radha Mitchell) get there, they were informed that the man was mowing his lawn when they got their and the wife and daughter didn't make it out. To end the scene the man started whistling eerily. The next day there were some hunters in the swamp who come across a parachute with a body attached to it. David draws the conclusion that a tip about a plane crash from a guy deemed "usually full of s***", could come in handy so they go to the spot where Mr. Full O'S*** said he heard, what he thought to be, a plane crash and they find it. After that all hell breaks loose, when the people start going nuts, the military comes in an tries to filter to infected from the non-infected. We learn the plane had toxic chemical in it and was on it's way to be destroyed, and that there's a three day incubation period for the virus. David has to save his wife, with his Deputy who gets away and helps him, and it becomes an all out race to get away from the crazy people and the military into safety in what became an apocalyptic wasteland.
First off I wanna give props to the writers for this remake and to the director Breck Eisner. The writing of the remake was good, and without a good vision by the director, this would've done much worse. Now I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, it's not. No new ground is broken in the zombie-horror, but it is quite a good watch. It's not a "She opens the mirror to get some pills. As she closes the mirror, the killer is behind her. *Cue loud music* She screams and fights off the killer." It a subtle horror film, where you see the crazy person in the background when the character doesn't and then the camera pans away from the spot for a second and it's gone. Timothy Olyphant plays the hero detective quite well. He plays David like he knows what he's doing, but not in over the top or extraordinary way. Just a young sheriff who knows the town and wants to help as many people as possible. Radha Mitchell plays Davids wife Judy, and the town doctor well. I liked the fact at throughout the whole movie, she had the desire to save the other people in the town. Most likely nostalgia and doctor instinct, but it added a certain kindness we don't see out of many characters in the horror genre. Also it doesn't hurt to have the pretty girl be smart AND survive the whole movie. The last performance I wanna touch on, is my favorite of the three, it's Joe Anderson playing Deputy Russell Clark. He does it so well, and I think he made the teamwork with David as sheriff work. From stepping in to, literally, save his balls at the morgue. To near the end when he asks to walk with David and Judy for awhile longer and sacrifices himself to let them live were two VERY well shot, and acted scenes on his part. Even to the part where he shoots two of the crazies in the head for good measure. Afterward all he said was "Just had to be sure", and that's what all of these type of movies need, finality and recognition of the kills.
Rotten Tomatoes has this, horror film mind you, at 71% and Megacritic is a little lower at 55%. I'm leaning more towards RT on this one. The acting was way better than it needed to be for a horror film like this, the premise was good, there wasn't a lot of cheap scares, and the directing/cinematography was great. Sure we've seen about a million zombie films in the last 10 years, and most of them are duds. But every once in awhile comes a great one, and this movie was one of them. I liked it more than Cop Out, and Shutter Island. But I'm not giving it a higher rating than Shutter Island. Why? Because Shutter Island was directed, acted and shot brilliantly. Sure, I praised this movie for that and I say it's the best of the year I've seen so far. But, I like to rate on scales based on everything in the movie. So while I LIKED this more, Shutter was done BETTER. After that monologue at the end, bottom line. This is a horror film that worked well, see it.
Rating for The Crazies: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
First off, if you couldn't figure out it out from previews, it a zombie flick. So we're not treading new ground. Ogden Marsh is a small town in the middle of Iowa. Like any small town sports are a big part of it. So it's a Friday (I assume) and everyone is at the high school baseball game. In the middle of an inning, a man with a shotgun walks on the field. The sheriff, David Dutton and his deputy, Russell Clank (played by Timothy Olyphant and Joe Anderson) get the kids off the field and confront the man. It turns out David thinks he's drunk, cause he used to be an alcoholic but had been dry for two years. He pleads with him to put down the shotgun. The man refuses and then points the gun at David, forcing him to shot him point blank on the baseball field. I'll give ya a hint, he wasn't drunk. The next night, a farmer locks his son and wife in a hall closet, and proceeds to douse the house with gasoline and torch it. When the David and his wife Judy (played by Radha Mitchell) get there, they were informed that the man was mowing his lawn when they got their and the wife and daughter didn't make it out. To end the scene the man started whistling eerily. The next day there were some hunters in the swamp who come across a parachute with a body attached to it. David draws the conclusion that a tip about a plane crash from a guy deemed "usually full of s***", could come in handy so they go to the spot where Mr. Full O'S*** said he heard, what he thought to be, a plane crash and they find it. After that all hell breaks loose, when the people start going nuts, the military comes in an tries to filter to infected from the non-infected. We learn the plane had toxic chemical in it and was on it's way to be destroyed, and that there's a three day incubation period for the virus. David has to save his wife, with his Deputy who gets away and helps him, and it becomes an all out race to get away from the crazy people and the military into safety in what became an apocalyptic wasteland.
First off I wanna give props to the writers for this remake and to the director Breck Eisner. The writing of the remake was good, and without a good vision by the director, this would've done much worse. Now I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, it's not. No new ground is broken in the zombie-horror, but it is quite a good watch. It's not a "She opens the mirror to get some pills. As she closes the mirror, the killer is behind her. *Cue loud music* She screams and fights off the killer." It a subtle horror film, where you see the crazy person in the background when the character doesn't and then the camera pans away from the spot for a second and it's gone. Timothy Olyphant plays the hero detective quite well. He plays David like he knows what he's doing, but not in over the top or extraordinary way. Just a young sheriff who knows the town and wants to help as many people as possible. Radha Mitchell plays Davids wife Judy, and the town doctor well. I liked the fact at throughout the whole movie, she had the desire to save the other people in the town. Most likely nostalgia and doctor instinct, but it added a certain kindness we don't see out of many characters in the horror genre. Also it doesn't hurt to have the pretty girl be smart AND survive the whole movie. The last performance I wanna touch on, is my favorite of the three, it's Joe Anderson playing Deputy Russell Clark. He does it so well, and I think he made the teamwork with David as sheriff work. From stepping in to, literally, save his balls at the morgue. To near the end when he asks to walk with David and Judy for awhile longer and sacrifices himself to let them live were two VERY well shot, and acted scenes on his part. Even to the part where he shoots two of the crazies in the head for good measure. Afterward all he said was "Just had to be sure", and that's what all of these type of movies need, finality and recognition of the kills.
Rotten Tomatoes has this, horror film mind you, at 71% and Megacritic is a little lower at 55%. I'm leaning more towards RT on this one. The acting was way better than it needed to be for a horror film like this, the premise was good, there wasn't a lot of cheap scares, and the directing/cinematography was great. Sure we've seen about a million zombie films in the last 10 years, and most of them are duds. But every once in awhile comes a great one, and this movie was one of them. I liked it more than Cop Out, and Shutter Island. But I'm not giving it a higher rating than Shutter Island. Why? Because Shutter Island was directed, acted and shot brilliantly. Sure, I praised this movie for that and I say it's the best of the year I've seen so far. But, I like to rate on scales based on everything in the movie. So while I LIKED this more, Shutter was done BETTER. After that monologue at the end, bottom line. This is a horror film that worked well, see it.
Rating for The Crazies: 7/10 or 3.5/5 Stars
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The NXT Notes 3/9/10
WWE's round two of a reality show, WWE NXT has been a fun show to watch the past two weeks. with the Rookies and Pros getting used to, or the opposite, each other, how will tonight play out? Here comes a recap of the goings on. Taped in Seattle, Washington here the NXT Notes.
We start out with a recap of last week. The Otunga/Tuth fight, the Young win, and the epic 450 Splash from Gabriel.
R-Truth/David Otunga beat The Miz (United States/Unified Tag Team Champion)/Daniel Bryan in a tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Joy the Mr. Narcissistic starts out the show with his sub-par rapping and limited move set. At least I know what city their in each week, thanks Truth. David "Google Me" Otunga is with him, at least he bobbing his head as they come out this time. I think they're starting to like each other and it's cute. (Pauses for the readers to say 'Awwwwwww') Boy the Miz is carrying a lot of gold, and he's not happy about the mugging from last night. Also if Bryan is pinned, the Miz will make sure Bryan is thrown out of NXT. As we go into the first commercial break Bryan goes over the top rope, then Miz, then R-Truth is launched by Otunga into a senton over the top rope into Bryan/Miz. End match, Bryan tags himself him and hits a nice missile dropkick on Otunga. He then throws judo kicks and slaps on a heel hook. But Miz tags himself in and get's in a tussle with Bryan. While the ref is getting Bryan outta the ring, Truth hits The Lie Detector of Miz and Otunga follows it up with a spinebuster-like move for the pinfall. After the match The Miz is irate and says he's gonna have Bryan thrown of next. Now Bryan owes Miz two hits cause he flinched.
After the match Striker asks the Miz if he feels he left Bryan down by losing himself. As Miz is answering, Bryan walks up he shoves Miz and asks him, if he's so great with all his acolytes then why couldn't he win the match? Deep thoughts from NXT, hunh guys? No, fine, they tried.
Cut to a promo from Slater saying how he's pissed that Carlito spit the apple in his face. And that he'd fastball an apple at Carltio's face if given the chance. (Vintage fruit brutality, thanks for posting)
We have a profile of Justin Gabriel. He says he's been called the poster-boy, and has British and Japanese tendencies in the ring. He looks alright, hope he makes it in the WWE in the future.
We find out Justin Gabriel did everything Hardy told him perfectly and not to change a thing in his main event match with Wade Barrett. In strolls Y2J and his rookie, and they guarantee the non-fan favorite will lose tonight.
Heath Slater w/Christian beat Carlito w/Michael Tarver in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Carltio comes out with a mic and says it wasn't an embarrassment when he spit in his face last week, more a right of passage. Also that he should be humbles enough to let him do it again. Heath dodges the chunks this time and that takes us into the commercial break. One for two so far this week NXT. Step it up NOW! End match, Carltio throws and arm stretch submission, which Slater gets out of, but gets shoulder blocked into the corner. And Carlito misses with a splash. Slather with a couple of clotheslines and a facebuster on Carlito for a two. Carlito with and uncharacteristic spinebuster. Christian distracts Tarver and Carlito to where Slater counters the Backstabber into a jack-knife cover for a two. Carlito goes for another Backstabber but he's carried into the corner and countered a roll up, into a roll up for the 1-2-3.
We have a profile on Darren Young. He idolized Ricky the Dragon Steamboat and HBK growing up, and he's here to have fun and entertain us.
Cut to CM Punk, Darren Young and the Straight Edge Society in the back Darren tell Punk he respects his lifestyle and questions why he can't do this his way. Serena tells Punk he's the pro, and Gallows tells Young he's the rookie. Punk the leaves by saying he can lead a horse to water but can;t make him drink, and that he can be a winner with Straight Edge, or see what happens if he does this without it.
We have a RAW Rebound when we come back, and it focuses on the Cena/Batista feud. And the McMahon/Cena match turning into a handicap gauntlet, ultimately with Batista and McMahon beating Cena to close out Raw. Here's a link to Layin' Down the Raw, for the show in full detail. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/03/layin-down-raw-30810.html
Justin Gabriel w/Matt Hardy (aka Jobberwalkie #1) beat Wade Barrett w/Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
We find out Y2J is bringing back The Highlight Reel and the guest is none other the Mr. Spear himself, Edge! I still remember when Y2J put HBK through his flatscreen back in their late 08-early 09nice feud. Good stuff right there. End match, Barrett hits a springboard backbreaker on Gabriel for a two. Then some offense and scoopslam. Gabriel gets put on the top rope and fights his way down. Barrett is on the top rope, and OUTTA NOWHERE @10:04CST he hits the 450 Splash for the win over Barrett. Afterward Y2J takes out Hardy, hits a Codebreaker and slaps on a Liontamer for the third straight week on a lowly rookie. Did I mention, during the match, Cole said why don't you just join commentary, and we hear Y2J yell. "Maybe I should, I'd be doing better than you!" That is why Y2J is the best he's still got your attention even when he's not supposed to have much, if any, attention at all. Commentator heel heat is awesome.
NXT: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I dunno, with the exception of Jericho being awesome as always and the SES promo, this episode left me lacking, wanting more. Miz/Bryan is good too, but it feels like to me, their downplaying Bryan's abilities. With him losing, and Cole's commentary f***ing of him to boot. I'd like to see Bryan/Miz feud, but I'd also like to see him do good on NXT too. Anywho, small step down for me. Still a good watch and three alright matches.
As always suggest to me stuff to write and give me ideas for topics/content.
Thanks for reading Matt "Fat Jesus" Day Disciples.
We start out with a recap of last week. The Otunga/Tuth fight, the Young win, and the epic 450 Splash from Gabriel.
R-Truth/David Otunga beat The Miz (United States/Unified Tag Team Champion)/Daniel Bryan in a tag team match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Joy the Mr. Narcissistic starts out the show with his sub-par rapping and limited move set. At least I know what city their in each week, thanks Truth. David "Google Me" Otunga is with him, at least he bobbing his head as they come out this time. I think they're starting to like each other and it's cute. (Pauses for the readers to say 'Awwwwwww') Boy the Miz is carrying a lot of gold, and he's not happy about the mugging from last night. Also if Bryan is pinned, the Miz will make sure Bryan is thrown out of NXT. As we go into the first commercial break Bryan goes over the top rope, then Miz, then R-Truth is launched by Otunga into a senton over the top rope into Bryan/Miz. End match, Bryan tags himself him and hits a nice missile dropkick on Otunga. He then throws judo kicks and slaps on a heel hook. But Miz tags himself in and get's in a tussle with Bryan. While the ref is getting Bryan outta the ring, Truth hits The Lie Detector of Miz and Otunga follows it up with a spinebuster-like move for the pinfall. After the match The Miz is irate and says he's gonna have Bryan thrown of next. Now Bryan owes Miz two hits cause he flinched.
After the match Striker asks the Miz if he feels he left Bryan down by losing himself. As Miz is answering, Bryan walks up he shoves Miz and asks him, if he's so great with all his acolytes then why couldn't he win the match? Deep thoughts from NXT, hunh guys? No, fine, they tried.
Cut to a promo from Slater saying how he's pissed that Carlito spit the apple in his face. And that he'd fastball an apple at Carltio's face if given the chance. (Vintage fruit brutality, thanks for posting)
We have a profile of Justin Gabriel. He says he's been called the poster-boy, and has British and Japanese tendencies in the ring. He looks alright, hope he makes it in the WWE in the future.
We find out Justin Gabriel did everything Hardy told him perfectly and not to change a thing in his main event match with Wade Barrett. In strolls Y2J and his rookie, and they guarantee the non-fan favorite will lose tonight.
Heath Slater w/Christian beat Carlito w/Michael Tarver in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Carltio comes out with a mic and says it wasn't an embarrassment when he spit in his face last week, more a right of passage. Also that he should be humbles enough to let him do it again. Heath dodges the chunks this time and that takes us into the commercial break. One for two so far this week NXT. Step it up NOW! End match, Carltio throws and arm stretch submission, which Slater gets out of, but gets shoulder blocked into the corner. And Carlito misses with a splash. Slather with a couple of clotheslines and a facebuster on Carlito for a two. Carlito with and uncharacteristic spinebuster. Christian distracts Tarver and Carlito to where Slater counters the Backstabber into a jack-knife cover for a two. Carlito goes for another Backstabber but he's carried into the corner and countered a roll up, into a roll up for the 1-2-3.
We have a profile on Darren Young. He idolized Ricky the Dragon Steamboat and HBK growing up, and he's here to have fun and entertain us.
Cut to CM Punk, Darren Young and the Straight Edge Society in the back Darren tell Punk he respects his lifestyle and questions why he can't do this his way. Serena tells Punk he's the pro, and Gallows tells Young he's the rookie. Punk the leaves by saying he can lead a horse to water but can;t make him drink, and that he can be a winner with Straight Edge, or see what happens if he does this without it.
We have a RAW Rebound when we come back, and it focuses on the Cena/Batista feud. And the McMahon/Cena match turning into a handicap gauntlet, ultimately with Batista and McMahon beating Cena to close out Raw. Here's a link to Layin' Down the Raw, for the show in full detail. http://matthewmday.blogspot.com/2010/03/layin-down-raw-30810.html
Justin Gabriel w/Matt Hardy (aka Jobberwalkie #1) beat Wade Barrett w/Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Champion) in a singles match via pinfall: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
We find out Y2J is bringing back The Highlight Reel and the guest is none other the Mr. Spear himself, Edge! I still remember when Y2J put HBK through his flatscreen back in their late 08-early 09nice feud. Good stuff right there. End match, Barrett hits a springboard backbreaker on Gabriel for a two. Then some offense and scoopslam. Gabriel gets put on the top rope and fights his way down. Barrett is on the top rope, and OUTTA NOWHERE @10:04CST he hits the 450 Splash for the win over Barrett. Afterward Y2J takes out Hardy, hits a Codebreaker and slaps on a Liontamer for the third straight week on a lowly rookie. Did I mention, during the match, Cole said why don't you just join commentary, and we hear Y2J yell. "Maybe I should, I'd be doing better than you!" That is why Y2J is the best he's still got your attention even when he's not supposed to have much, if any, attention at all. Commentator heel heat is awesome.
NXT: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
Last Week: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
I dunno, with the exception of Jericho being awesome as always and the SES promo, this episode left me lacking, wanting more. Miz/Bryan is good too, but it feels like to me, their downplaying Bryan's abilities. With him losing, and Cole's commentary f***ing of him to boot. I'd like to see Bryan/Miz feud, but I'd also like to see him do good on NXT too. Anywho, small step down for me. Still a good watch and three alright matches.
As always suggest to me stuff to write and give me ideas for topics/content.
Thanks for reading Matt "Fat Jesus" Day Disciples.
Shutter Island [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]
Ok, Shutter Island. As I've said before it was the first 2010 movie I wanted to see and it's been sitting on my comp for about a week now. So in my insomnia from sleeping till two in the afternoon and then taking an hour nap at six, I decide to knock Shutter Island (and subsequently The Crazies) out of the way late last night into the night owl hours.
The premise is fairly simple. Edward "Teddy" Daniels, and his partner Chuck Aule, played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo respectively, are sent to Shutter Island to help find a patient who has apparently escaped with without a trace. Sorry Anthony Lapagila, your not in this flick. Her (the escaped patient) name is Rachel Solando, played by Emily Mortimer. Anywho Shutter Island is an mental institution on an island and they house the criminally insane. They get to the island, run by Dr. John Cawely, played amazingly by Ben Kingsly, and immediately are forced to relinquish their weapons and begin their investigation into the missing woman. Teddy quickly is angered after the first day cause no one is telling them the truth, he starts to get migraine's, and beings to go off on his own a lot, commando style, to investigate the missing woman. This is accentuated when we find out his wife died in a fire, and the woman they're looking for drowned her three kids and thought nothing of it. Then about a day after they get to the island, the woman suddenly turns up, and thing begging to get even worse for Teddy as the hallucinations he began to get on the island kept getting worse and worse. This is where I stop with the plot summary, cause past this point I'm giving away the movie, but I'm sure you already figured out the twist, like I did just from this little summary.
It was a Scorese film, so you know all the cinematography, filming and acting are going to be top notch. Even in a fairly predictable story-like this he kept me engaged by writing the characters, especially Teddy, in a way that I wanted to know about him and what happened in his life. Brings me to Leo's role as Teddy, and like all DiCaprio performances he did a superb job. What I like about him in all his movies in that when I watch them he acts as if he really is living the life of the person. Something a lot of actors do, but it comes off fake, or unbelievable. Mark Ruffalo gave a great performance as Leo's right hand man and partner in this. I don't think I've seen any movies with him in it, but this being the first, he impressed me and I'll not shy away to a movie of his in the future. Not many people can compliment Leo, but I think Mark did a great job, and even the little back and forths between them a partners were very nice. Finally the last role I wanna write about is Ben Kingsly as Dr. Cawley, the head if the institution. I like the old-school role he played, as almost the mad-scientist psychologist. He really only wants to help the patients, but he also wanted to get his agenda done with new types of therapy, regardless of the patients. So it seemed to be a two way street with him. Overall, all the performances were great, but I wouldn't expect less, and I doubt Scorese would've either haha.
Rotten Tomatoes and Megacritis both have this film at around a 60% fresh and/or mixed to good rating. And I gotta agree with them. We've seen much better from Scorese and Leo for that matter. I.e. The Departed a couple of years back that won Best Picture, and rightfully so, at the Oscars. This was a tired story that's been done before, but Scorese filmed it in such a good way it kept me engaged despite the kind-of long run time. Also the performances by the actors listed above left me feeling very pleased at 2AM this morning when it ended. I recommend it, I don't think it will win any awards, but it's nicely filmed and acted and was a nice watch.
Rating for Shutter Island: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars.
The premise is fairly simple. Edward "Teddy" Daniels, and his partner Chuck Aule, played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo respectively, are sent to Shutter Island to help find a patient who has apparently escaped with without a trace. Sorry Anthony Lapagila, your not in this flick. Her (the escaped patient) name is Rachel Solando, played by Emily Mortimer. Anywho Shutter Island is an mental institution on an island and they house the criminally insane. They get to the island, run by Dr. John Cawely, played amazingly by Ben Kingsly, and immediately are forced to relinquish their weapons and begin their investigation into the missing woman. Teddy quickly is angered after the first day cause no one is telling them the truth, he starts to get migraine's, and beings to go off on his own a lot, commando style, to investigate the missing woman. This is accentuated when we find out his wife died in a fire, and the woman they're looking for drowned her three kids and thought nothing of it. Then about a day after they get to the island, the woman suddenly turns up, and thing begging to get even worse for Teddy as the hallucinations he began to get on the island kept getting worse and worse. This is where I stop with the plot summary, cause past this point I'm giving away the movie, but I'm sure you already figured out the twist, like I did just from this little summary.
It was a Scorese film, so you know all the cinematography, filming and acting are going to be top notch. Even in a fairly predictable story-like this he kept me engaged by writing the characters, especially Teddy, in a way that I wanted to know about him and what happened in his life. Brings me to Leo's role as Teddy, and like all DiCaprio performances he did a superb job. What I like about him in all his movies in that when I watch them he acts as if he really is living the life of the person. Something a lot of actors do, but it comes off fake, or unbelievable. Mark Ruffalo gave a great performance as Leo's right hand man and partner in this. I don't think I've seen any movies with him in it, but this being the first, he impressed me and I'll not shy away to a movie of his in the future. Not many people can compliment Leo, but I think Mark did a great job, and even the little back and forths between them a partners were very nice. Finally the last role I wanna write about is Ben Kingsly as Dr. Cawley, the head if the institution. I like the old-school role he played, as almost the mad-scientist psychologist. He really only wants to help the patients, but he also wanted to get his agenda done with new types of therapy, regardless of the patients. So it seemed to be a two way street with him. Overall, all the performances were great, but I wouldn't expect less, and I doubt Scorese would've either haha.
Rotten Tomatoes and Megacritis both have this film at around a 60% fresh and/or mixed to good rating. And I gotta agree with them. We've seen much better from Scorese and Leo for that matter. I.e. The Departed a couple of years back that won Best Picture, and rightfully so, at the Oscars. This was a tired story that's been done before, but Scorese filmed it in such a good way it kept me engaged despite the kind-of long run time. Also the performances by the actors listed above left me feeling very pleased at 2AM this morning when it ended. I recommend it, I don't think it will win any awards, but it's nicely filmed and acted and was a nice watch.
Rating for Shutter Island: 8/10 or 4/5 Stars.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Layin' Down the Raw 3/08/10
On the night where TNA goes head to head with RAW, and we have the Monday Night Wars part deux, I'm feeling good about the week and feeling Raw should be decent. Anywho Live from Portland, lets lay down the Raw!
The symbolic bong tolls as The Undertaker starts out RAW, while Wrestlemaina grows all he closer. Now both men in the WWE with the slowest entrances in the WWE are on the same show, what will Randy due to step up his games? We'll find out later tonight. Undertaker tells us last week is who HBK is since he became the 17 in 17-0. HBK's dark cloud he can't shake, Undertaker says, will be the downfall of his elistrous career. The next night the where be no happiness or joy or winning, and in three weeks his career will Rest in P-cue HBK. There will be no catchphrases tonight, as HBK declares. Actually last Monday night Shawn had an appiphany. He realized that deep down inside The Undertaker there is fear. Taker thought he could intimidate him by asking to put his career on the line. But it didn't work and nothing lasts forever and Shawn's gonna prove it. Really? Undertaker can't tell if he's being confident or pitiful. HBK said he would've taken any form of win last year. But this year he proposes that you can only win by pinfall of sumbission, and so it shall be. Taker sees the passion and fire in his eyes. Taker looks into his soul and knows he can honestly beat him at Wrestlemania. Taker names of his names and tell him he won't be those this year. He may be the best ever in the ring, but come Wrestlemania he'll open the gates of hell and make sure his career is over. HBK says he can keep telling himself that, and that the same dark cloud will follow Undertaker around for the rest of his life, and that all he'll see is Shawn's face. Whata epic, well worded, intense promo to start off RAW. Wonder what TNA did. Ah, I don't care right now.
Eve Torres-Day/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly baets Maryse (Divas Champion)/Alicia Fox/Katie Lea in a tag team match via submission: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
End match in comes Maryse, and hit a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for a two. Eve tags in and hits two dropkicks on Maryse for a two. After a summersault, Eve gets a two count due to Fox and Katie. Gail and Kelly take out the two rouge divas. Eve gets slapped by Maryse while she's on the top rope, but grabs a hold of her. Eve hooks her leg around Maryse's neck and takes her down from the top rope in an arm-bar that Maryse taps out too. Al-freaking-right! I'm glad Eve is finally getting a push, she had so good offense in the match and you can tell shes improving in the ring every match.
Cut to Criss Angel and cue The Bella whores. Brie...or Nikki...had a string on her dress and Cris sticks it in his mouth and pulls it out of he eye. That was pretty cool, and then takes Jillian's voice. Just for that it makes it an ok segment.
ShowMiz (Miz/Show) vs The Good and The Bad (Morrion/Truth) in a tag team match: NR
Give Miz the mic and let him talk. They'd rather face The Bushwackers, which goes over most of your heads, epic win by The Miz there. No one else is apparently worthy and ShowMiz is the last great tag team in the WWE. Out comes JoMo and Mr. Narcissistic to a huge pop in dreary Portland. Early on they shows signs of not having a match, they knock Show off the ropes and throw Miz outta the ring and give him a double baseball slide. Big Show then tries to save Miz but gets thrown into the ring post and DDT'd. They the hang The Miz up on the barrier. Morrison tells us Miz that they are a real tag team, and then Truth spits out it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Let's have these two not cut too many promos. Otherwise I like a good brawl, no matter how small, every once in awhile.
We have our first Cena/Batista promo package. We cut to goofy-face Josh Matthew whose interviewing Cena, who will eventually start yelling. Cena says Batista has his number, and all Cena can do is go out and beat him. And that he expects Batista to interfere in the Cena/McMahon match later.
Cut to Criss who is being thanks by Bourne for letting him face Regal for the last Money in the Bank spot. Regal and that Cornfed Meathead come in. The guy, who Regal basically called a moron, wanted Angel to freak his mind. Regal was told to write a number on the pad, and Angel would guess it. Skip thought it was a good number, to Bills wonder. Angel got the number, which was 56. And if that really wasn't scripted, I'm already a fan of Angel.
The Legacy (Rhodes/DiBiase) beat Randy Orton in a Handicap match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
As Legacy comes out, they get ambushed from behind (No homo) which draws a Viper @8:47 CST! They cut to commercial as Legacy is on the outside of the ring..works for me. Orton could feel DiBiase coming (Again no homo...really). As we cut to a second commercial, Legacy is on the outside again. Boy they really don't like to be in the ring. End match Orton hammers on Rhodes and hits him with a clothesline. Cody hits a jawbreaker outta nowhere. Cody distracts the ref as Orton takes a dropkick from DiBiase on the floor. Rhodes pummels Orton's head into the steel steps, rolls him in the ring and drops a knee on Orton. The Orton chants begin as Ted is tagged in. Teddy cinches in the dreaded rear-chin lock on Orton, and he get's out with elbow shots. Orton is the followed and gets a massive clothesline for a long two. Rhodes covers Orton for and two, then beats on Orton some more as Legacy dissects Orton. In comes DiBiase and hammers on Orton in the corner. The Randy chants begin again as Rhodes tags back in. Orton counters a splash and hits two clotheslines and two POWERSLAMS (You moron Cole quit calling it a scoop-slam you limey retard). Then Vintage Orton at 9:02 CST with a inverted back breaker on DiBiase. Code distracts Orton as he's setting up for the RKO and then he takes a Dream Street for the 1-2-3. After the match Cody taunts Randy and gives him a Cross-Rhodes as they pose like their mentor as he lays out on the mat. Great match, Orton may not have won, but the fans are behind him and he looked strong, even in the disadvantage situation. Keep this going till 'Mania please.
Backstage Batista is watching RAW. Josh asks him if he's going to interfere in Cena and McMahon's match. Dave says that he swears on the WWE Championship that he's no gonna. But to wish Cena luck, cause it looks like he needs it. At least Batista is foregoing The Village People look this week. I hope. Triple H's thoughts on the Pale White Yonder's sneak attack last week is up next.
Next week Stone Cold Steve Austin is hosting RAW, and here was out first promos for it. I'm pumped about it. Should be great.
Cue "The Game" by Motorhead and to Cole's weird intro here's the Legendary Cerebral Assassin, Triple H. A video package of last week where HHH was attacked and Blarney Booted two times. Oh look, his entrance still isn't done..I proclaim it third longest in the WWE! He kind-of respects Sheamus for what he did to him. After he embarrassed so much in the past three weeks. Oh here comes a ghost! Oh it just Sheamus and that awful theme. Sheamus tells HHH he'll make an example of him at Wrestlemania. Triple H tells him he's had a great first year in the WWE. Triple H tells Sheamus it's all moot till he makes his Wrestlemania moment. He compared Sheamus to a young Triple H, and that if Sheamus doesn't win, he's gotta lay it all on the line. Either he's gonna be immortal or nothing. Start the brawl! HHH send Sheamus over the top rope, they go over the barrier, HHH's head get's plastered into the announce table. Back in the ring they go, and HHH gives a double A spinebuster to Sheamus as he bails afterward. An ok promo, one of the best I've seen from HHH in a long while. Glad he can get serious after all the DX skits.
Santino is in the back with Angel. He tells Angel that he's Italian and that even Harry Houdini is Italian despite what the liberal media tells us. I can't tell you epic that line is. He does the thumb trick and is quite proud of himself. Criss asks him to help him with a trick. Santino hides a very sharp sushi knife under one of four cups, and has Santino puts his hand on his should to read his muscles. Sure enough he find the right cup after smashing the other three and freaking Santino out.
Evan Bourne beat William Regal w/Skip Sheffield in a Money in the Bank qualifier: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Christian is on commentary and tells Cole to calm down with the pictures, he on RAW permenatley. End match Regal hits a t-bone on Evan and goes for a Knee Trembler but takes a flying knee which puts him out. Then Evan hits the shoot star press and hits it for the pinfall.
WM20 recap where Goldberg beat Lesnar with a jackhammer. Then both of them getting Stone Cold Stunned by Austin himself.
A video package from last week is shown where McMahon berates Hart, tells him he can back for revenge, and then sets up their Wrestlemania match. Culmination with McMahon kicking Hart's crutch and leaving him in the ring.
Before we come back live we get the Shawn Michaels My Story dvd promo. It's gonna be good, I'm getting it tomorrow. It'll be a great Tuesday and Wednesday watching it!
Cena/Big Show next week, as well as the World Heavyweight Champion Y2J vs HBK, and Randy vs Triple H! Should be a great RAW! I'm very happy to see HBK/Y2J again. Remember their great 2008-09 feud, I do, and I'm excited.
Vince McMahon w/Vladimir Kozlof/Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger/Mark Henry/Batista beat John Cena w/Kofi Kingston via pinfall in a no DQ handicap gauntlet match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
The magician of the century is announcing the main event. And I gotta admit, besides that voice crack just now, he's done a nice job hosting. Kozlof hits Cena with two ura-nages and then McMahon tags himself in for the pinfall but Cena kicks out at two. McMahon calls for Drew McIntrye. He comes out and hits The Future Shock, McMahon tags in, but again Cena powers out at two. As we go to commercial Jack Jack Swagger Swagger (the ring is now flooded) hit the ring. As we come back Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Sawgger. Then Swagger hits a running powerslam on Cena. He then hits tow rope splashes on Cena and tags McMahon in. McMahon goes for the cover, and we have another two kickouts by Cena. Cue The Kool-Aid Man Mark Henry and he doesn't look happy about this. Henry hits the Worlds Strongest Slam on Cena, McMahon is tagged in and another kickout by Superman. Yeah, now McMahon declares it a no DQ match as he walks back to the ring with the ring bell. Henry tries to stop McMahon but get's told to do it he refuses and takes a Spear from Batista. Holy hell all hell is breaking loose as Kofi hits the ring and get's Batista Bombed. No controlled frenzy tonight, drat. Cena takes out Batista with a clothesline and goes after McMahon. Cena was going for the Attitude Adjustment, but takes a spear from Batista. Then a vicious Batista Bomb. McMahon covers Cena and finally gets the three count. Like McMahon said, it wasn't an illusion. We end a very strong RAW with Batista standing over a broken Cena.
RAW: 6/10 of 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
A good guest host, solid diva action an awesome Orton/Legacy match, an epic HBK promo made this a good RAW to watch. The Cena/McMahon match went liked you'd expect, and Even got into MitB with a 2 minute squash, and those weighted down the show for me. Otherwise, it was enjoyable, not mind blowing (Thanks for posting Criss Angel), but not bad to watch either.
As always suggest to me stuff to write and give me ideas for topics/content.
Thanks for reading Matt "Fat Jesus" Day Disciples.
The symbolic bong tolls as The Undertaker starts out RAW, while Wrestlemaina grows all he closer. Now both men in the WWE with the slowest entrances in the WWE are on the same show, what will Randy due to step up his games? We'll find out later tonight. Undertaker tells us last week is who HBK is since he became the 17 in 17-0. HBK's dark cloud he can't shake, Undertaker says, will be the downfall of his elistrous career. The next night the where be no happiness or joy or winning, and in three weeks his career will Rest in P-cue HBK. There will be no catchphrases tonight, as HBK declares. Actually last Monday night Shawn had an appiphany. He realized that deep down inside The Undertaker there is fear. Taker thought he could intimidate him by asking to put his career on the line. But it didn't work and nothing lasts forever and Shawn's gonna prove it. Really? Undertaker can't tell if he's being confident or pitiful. HBK said he would've taken any form of win last year. But this year he proposes that you can only win by pinfall of sumbission, and so it shall be. Taker sees the passion and fire in his eyes. Taker looks into his soul and knows he can honestly beat him at Wrestlemania. Taker names of his names and tell him he won't be those this year. He may be the best ever in the ring, but come Wrestlemania he'll open the gates of hell and make sure his career is over. HBK says he can keep telling himself that, and that the same dark cloud will follow Undertaker around for the rest of his life, and that all he'll see is Shawn's face. Whata epic, well worded, intense promo to start off RAW. Wonder what TNA did. Ah, I don't care right now.
Eve Torres-Day/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly baets Maryse (Divas Champion)/Alicia Fox/Katie Lea in a tag team match via submission: 3/10 or 1.5/5 Stars
End match in comes Maryse, and hit a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for a two. Eve tags in and hits two dropkicks on Maryse for a two. After a summersault, Eve gets a two count due to Fox and Katie. Gail and Kelly take out the two rouge divas. Eve gets slapped by Maryse while she's on the top rope, but grabs a hold of her. Eve hooks her leg around Maryse's neck and takes her down from the top rope in an arm-bar that Maryse taps out too. Al-freaking-right! I'm glad Eve is finally getting a push, she had so good offense in the match and you can tell shes improving in the ring every match.
Cut to Criss Angel and cue The Bella whores. Brie...or Nikki...had a string on her dress and Cris sticks it in his mouth and pulls it out of he eye. That was pretty cool, and then takes Jillian's voice. Just for that it makes it an ok segment.
ShowMiz (Miz/Show) vs The Good and The Bad (Morrion/Truth) in a tag team match: NR
Give Miz the mic and let him talk. They'd rather face The Bushwackers, which goes over most of your heads, epic win by The Miz there. No one else is apparently worthy and ShowMiz is the last great tag team in the WWE. Out comes JoMo and Mr. Narcissistic to a huge pop in dreary Portland. Early on they shows signs of not having a match, they knock Show off the ropes and throw Miz outta the ring and give him a double baseball slide. Big Show then tries to save Miz but gets thrown into the ring post and DDT'd. They the hang The Miz up on the barrier. Morrison tells us Miz that they are a real tag team, and then Truth spits out it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Let's have these two not cut too many promos. Otherwise I like a good brawl, no matter how small, every once in awhile.
We have our first Cena/Batista promo package. We cut to goofy-face Josh Matthew whose interviewing Cena, who will eventually start yelling. Cena says Batista has his number, and all Cena can do is go out and beat him. And that he expects Batista to interfere in the Cena/McMahon match later.
Cut to Criss who is being thanks by Bourne for letting him face Regal for the last Money in the Bank spot. Regal and that Cornfed Meathead come in. The guy, who Regal basically called a moron, wanted Angel to freak his mind. Regal was told to write a number on the pad, and Angel would guess it. Skip thought it was a good number, to Bills wonder. Angel got the number, which was 56. And if that really wasn't scripted, I'm already a fan of Angel.
The Legacy (Rhodes/DiBiase) beat Randy Orton in a Handicap match via pinfall: 6/10 or 3/5 Stars
As Legacy comes out, they get ambushed from behind (No homo) which draws a Viper @8:47 CST! They cut to commercial as Legacy is on the outside of the ring..works for me. Orton could feel DiBiase coming (Again no homo...really). As we cut to a second commercial, Legacy is on the outside again. Boy they really don't like to be in the ring. End match Orton hammers on Rhodes and hits him with a clothesline. Cody hits a jawbreaker outta nowhere. Cody distracts the ref as Orton takes a dropkick from DiBiase on the floor. Rhodes pummels Orton's head into the steel steps, rolls him in the ring and drops a knee on Orton. The Orton chants begin as Ted is tagged in. Teddy cinches in the dreaded rear-chin lock on Orton, and he get's out with elbow shots. Orton is the followed and gets a massive clothesline for a long two. Rhodes covers Orton for and two, then beats on Orton some more as Legacy dissects Orton. In comes DiBiase and hammers on Orton in the corner. The Randy chants begin again as Rhodes tags back in. Orton counters a splash and hits two clotheslines and two POWERSLAMS (You moron Cole quit calling it a scoop-slam you limey retard). Then Vintage Orton at 9:02 CST with a inverted back breaker on DiBiase. Code distracts Orton as he's setting up for the RKO and then he takes a Dream Street for the 1-2-3. After the match Cody taunts Randy and gives him a Cross-Rhodes as they pose like their mentor as he lays out on the mat. Great match, Orton may not have won, but the fans are behind him and he looked strong, even in the disadvantage situation. Keep this going till 'Mania please.
Backstage Batista is watching RAW. Josh asks him if he's going to interfere in Cena and McMahon's match. Dave says that he swears on the WWE Championship that he's no gonna. But to wish Cena luck, cause it looks like he needs it. At least Batista is foregoing The Village People look this week. I hope. Triple H's thoughts on the Pale White Yonder's sneak attack last week is up next.
Next week Stone Cold Steve Austin is hosting RAW, and here was out first promos for it. I'm pumped about it. Should be great.
Cue "The Game" by Motorhead and to Cole's weird intro here's the Legendary Cerebral Assassin, Triple H. A video package of last week where HHH was attacked and Blarney Booted two times. Oh look, his entrance still isn't done..I proclaim it third longest in the WWE! He kind-of respects Sheamus for what he did to him. After he embarrassed so much in the past three weeks. Oh here comes a ghost! Oh it just Sheamus and that awful theme. Sheamus tells HHH he'll make an example of him at Wrestlemania. Triple H tells him he's had a great first year in the WWE. Triple H tells Sheamus it's all moot till he makes his Wrestlemania moment. He compared Sheamus to a young Triple H, and that if Sheamus doesn't win, he's gotta lay it all on the line. Either he's gonna be immortal or nothing. Start the brawl! HHH send Sheamus over the top rope, they go over the barrier, HHH's head get's plastered into the announce table. Back in the ring they go, and HHH gives a double A spinebuster to Sheamus as he bails afterward. An ok promo, one of the best I've seen from HHH in a long while. Glad he can get serious after all the DX skits.
Santino is in the back with Angel. He tells Angel that he's Italian and that even Harry Houdini is Italian despite what the liberal media tells us. I can't tell you epic that line is. He does the thumb trick and is quite proud of himself. Criss asks him to help him with a trick. Santino hides a very sharp sushi knife under one of four cups, and has Santino puts his hand on his should to read his muscles. Sure enough he find the right cup after smashing the other three and freaking Santino out.
Evan Bourne beat William Regal w/Skip Sheffield in a Money in the Bank qualifier: 2/10 or 1/5 Stars
Christian is on commentary and tells Cole to calm down with the pictures, he on RAW permenatley. End match Regal hits a t-bone on Evan and goes for a Knee Trembler but takes a flying knee which puts him out. Then Evan hits the shoot star press and hits it for the pinfall.
WM20 recap where Goldberg beat Lesnar with a jackhammer. Then both of them getting Stone Cold Stunned by Austin himself.
A video package from last week is shown where McMahon berates Hart, tells him he can back for revenge, and then sets up their Wrestlemania match. Culmination with McMahon kicking Hart's crutch and leaving him in the ring.
Before we come back live we get the Shawn Michaels My Story dvd promo. It's gonna be good, I'm getting it tomorrow. It'll be a great Tuesday and Wednesday watching it!
Cena/Big Show next week, as well as the World Heavyweight Champion Y2J vs HBK, and Randy vs Triple H! Should be a great RAW! I'm very happy to see HBK/Y2J again. Remember their great 2008-09 feud, I do, and I'm excited.
Vince McMahon w/Vladimir Kozlof/Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger/Mark Henry/Batista beat John Cena w/Kofi Kingston via pinfall in a no DQ handicap gauntlet match: 4/10 or 2/5 Stars
The magician of the century is announcing the main event. And I gotta admit, besides that voice crack just now, he's done a nice job hosting. Kozlof hits Cena with two ura-nages and then McMahon tags himself in for the pinfall but Cena kicks out at two. McMahon calls for Drew McIntrye. He comes out and hits The Future Shock, McMahon tags in, but again Cena powers out at two. As we go to commercial Jack Jack Swagger Swagger (the ring is now flooded) hit the ring. As we come back Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Sawgger. Then Swagger hits a running powerslam on Cena. He then hits tow rope splashes on Cena and tags McMahon in. McMahon goes for the cover, and we have another two kickouts by Cena. Cue The Kool-Aid Man Mark Henry and he doesn't look happy about this. Henry hits the Worlds Strongest Slam on Cena, McMahon is tagged in and another kickout by Superman. Yeah, now McMahon declares it a no DQ match as he walks back to the ring with the ring bell. Henry tries to stop McMahon but get's told to do it he refuses and takes a Spear from Batista. Holy hell all hell is breaking loose as Kofi hits the ring and get's Batista Bombed. No controlled frenzy tonight, drat. Cena takes out Batista with a clothesline and goes after McMahon. Cena was going for the Attitude Adjustment, but takes a spear from Batista. Then a vicious Batista Bomb. McMahon covers Cena and finally gets the three count. Like McMahon said, it wasn't an illusion. We end a very strong RAW with Batista standing over a broken Cena.
RAW: 6/10 of 3/5 Stars
Last Week: 5/10 or 2.5/5 Stars
A good guest host, solid diva action an awesome Orton/Legacy match, an epic HBK promo made this a good RAW to watch. The Cena/McMahon match went liked you'd expect, and Even got into MitB with a 2 minute squash, and those weighted down the show for me. Otherwise, it was enjoyable, not mind blowing (Thanks for posting Criss Angel), but not bad to watch either.
As always suggest to me stuff to write and give me ideas for topics/content.
Thanks for reading Matt "Fat Jesus" Day Disciples.
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